The Bleak Walker

“Nolan,” Ciara said. “I think you misunderstood something. I may be the War Maiden, but I am still a woman, a person, and I have melted my heart in hopes that you would accept it.”

“I know that,” Nolan said. “I just have a reason why.”

“What reason?” Ciara said. “Tell me, so we can talk about it.”

“I wish I can,” Nolan said. “I wish I could but not now.”

“You are really incredulous towards my love. Still, I witnessed the way you act towards me. It’s still as sweet as I remember. You don’t have any memories, yet you still act so gently with me. Cooking me food, brushing my hair and braiding it, and even doing the chores around the house for the days we’ve been here. I know that you are hesitant, and maybe I am just the one who is asking for love here. Can you blame me, Nolan? You left an impression and seeing the man who was the catalyst that turned my life around, how can I not try? Reason? What reason do I have other than I loved you? Desperate? I am, I really am desperate enough that thoughts are taking a turn for the worse. I have lived my life as best as I could, holding on to the bit of goodness that I have inside of me. But you are making me want to commit a crime.”

Ciara locked her fingers. She stared at Nolan straightly. Mia was staying silent, her cheeks, however, had a shade of red as she listens to her grandmother.

“I want to tell you,” Nolan thought. “But all the instincts I have on me are screaming not to. I know that you are you, I know that well. It makes me damn happy that you love a bastard like me this much. Still, I find it hard to believe that someone would fall easily to me.”

But at the same time you aren’t her, he thought. Nolan understood it well that the woman in front of her was Ciara. But at the same time, she was not the Ciara that he had spent years chasing after. The Ciara that he was willing to die for, and follow to hell was gone. He died in front of her. The person in front of him was undoubtedly Ciara as well. However, they were not the same in many aspects.

He couldn’t dare to be rude to her. If what she was saying was the truth, then somewhere along the line in this timeline, he must have used her to fill the hole that his Ciara left on him. Nolan wasn’t that good to think that how unfair it was. If only his Ciara have all of these powers. If she only had become a true War Maiden just in time, then maybe, she would become what the Ciara he was seeing right now. He wanted to lash out like a child but he could hold it in. He knew it well enough that he had already spent years mourning her.

Now, he was suddenly fast-forwarded into a time where this timeline’s Ciara was a proper war maiden. In a timeline where a Nolan Salvatore was able to deliver her to the Three Fates. If that Nolan Salvatore was him then he wished that he never forgot. It was like a big joke of fate, and now he only remembers the time that he had spent on that timeline and then finding himself in a world that didn’t need anyone like him.

It was a good ending where he didn’t belong. He felt miserable at the thought of this dream-like situation before him. The iron that he molded around his heart was torn open. The dam that had been sealed up and patched up was flowing. He didn’t feel good with all these bundles of emotions inside of him. He felt utterly depressed. He had to let go of Ciara and keep her memories sealed. Now, he was in a timeline where she was strong and didn’t need anyone. She has a family that loved her truly. While he has nothing.

She was telling him words that would have made him happy truly once. If he was in a place where he could start again, and if he was able to redo his mistakes, then he would have found himself doing better. Nolan wanted to stay in this place because he wanted to throw his worries away.

He had many questions. However, he knew it well how his opinions for his current life was something he could not control. In his life, he has always followed the Trichotomy of control. There are things that he had control, things that he could not control at all, and things he could control but not completely.

What he had done in that timeline was for the sake of his family. He fought for Ciara in hopes that they could build a family if they survive. He fought with the bleak walkers because they were his family and he was willing to die for them. He could list vague reasons yet in the end, all that he did was for the sake of the family.

“I want to run away from this conversation, and away from you,” Nolan said. “But it looks that would not be possible.”

“You know that I would still chase after you, right?” Ciara said without looking away. “It doesn’t matter what anyone says. Nolan Salvatore, I’m in love with you.”

Nolan let out a helpless smile at her. To think that in this timeline he would have to face someone who wouldn’t give up on him. Nolan knew it too well because he was a fool that chased a woman for thirty years despite the woman being hesitant for his love. It was strange that their roles were reversed and she was chasing after him.

“I guess this must what she has felt at the times I was bugging her all the time. She’s acting like a fool like I was in that time. God damn it, how can I refuse knowing how it might end up?” He thought.

“Fine, let’s try it out,” Nolan said.

“Oh- wait what?” Ciara said, slamming her palms on the table, vaulting towards Nolan with a smile that could reach her ears.