The day I shared a flat with my female boss

Do you have a bad brain? Daniel! She said that she learned cycling specially for you, and that she learned cycling three years ago? It's not certain that you came to the mainland three years ago? She's full of train talk. Do you believe that?

Xi'er nodded and said, "don't you believe it? Miss Ben has been determined to be an independent woman since she was a child

Daniel praised her and said, "Xi'er is really good! I appreciate independent women most! My mother started to be independent when she was very young! My mother said that only independent women have access to the same social resources as men! "

This witch! I held down my horn in protest and peered at Xi'er in the rearview mirror!

"Hello! Do you have cramps in your feet? There's no car in front of you. Why don't you hold the horn? " Xi son hurls me fierce way, to Daniel that clever appearance disappear!

I said, "I whistle in protest!"

"You dare!" Xi'er bit her lower lip and meaningfully crossed me with her eyes!

I muttered, "I don't protest. I'll have a moment of silence! I whistle for 300000 innocent lives in Nanjing massacre! "

"I'm kidding you! Today is Laba Festival Xi'er said at a glance.

"I'm not amused. I'd like to express my sympathy for those children with kidney stones who drank milk powder containing melamine, OK?" I went back to Xi'er with a white eye, stepped on the accelerator, and the SUV flew out.

At the destination, Xi'er can't wait to show her driving skills to Daniel. As soon as I unload her bike, she will step on it and drive forward crookedly. People ride their bikes in a straight line. She rides the route!

"Be careful! Xi'er Daniel stepped on the bike and followed.

Xi'er gave Daniel a confident smile and said tactfully: "judging from my rich experience, the bicycle handle seems to be pressed askew!"

Hearing her words, I felt a sledgehammer flying down from the sky and thumping my head! I thought with stars in my eyes, if I have insect teeth, I will laugh off my big teeth! The handlebar is crooked! I'm going!

Forget it, forget it! I give up the idea of exposing her! After all, this is my apprentice. It's a shame for me to ride a bicycle!

I chose a commanding height, sat in the shade of a Sophora tree, looking at the two figures not far away side by side, with the wind wafting, the two happy laughter.

I finally found a fact that can not be avoided, that is, I am not so much here to be a bodyguard, as I am here to be a light bulb! My whole motherfucker is a 3000 Watt giant light bulb for lighting and heating!

I pulled a piece of Dogtail grass into my mouth and began to grind my teeth. After grinding my teeth, I began to smoke. After smoking a cigarette, I began to chew gum!

Then, I joined the "labor" of the ant colony with great interest. I put them together and worked hard from the bottom of the hill to a small piece of bread crumb beside the nest, throwing them back to the place where they started! Those hardworking stupid ants, not angry with me, went over the mountains again and again to return to the original place, and persistently arched the small piece of bread residue to the nest again! When they were ready to cheer, I did not hesitate to pick up the crumb with my fingers and throw it further!

Bad guy! Super bad guy! If the ants had the intelligence of a gorilla, maybe they would start to attack me!

Lying sleepy on the grass, I suddenly saw an ant picking up my middle finger and scolding me: "my God, your mother forced me! You son of a bitch! It's a pain, isn't it? Roll, roll, roll

I left under the locust tree, ran down the hillside, shouting at the cheerful figures in the distance: "Hello! Aren't you tired? If you ride down again, I'm sure you can't even climb up the SUV! Hello... "

The two bicycles turned around and began to drive back. After a while, the two bicycles came to me and stopped. They jumped out of the bicycles sweating.

"Gu Yang!" Xi'er came up to me with a red face and whispered in my ear, "I have to admit that your roar was just like my Joseph's voice practice!"

Xi'er gave me a hard look, turned to meet Daniel and walked over with a smile: "are you tired? Let's have a rest in the shade and have a cold drink before we play

Still playing? It's a good match for men and women. Cycling is not tiring!

"You go get water!" Xi'er looked back at me with a smile and pointed to the SUV. Then he took Daniel's hand, and without looking back, he walked to the side of the road under an old pagoda tree with thick buckets.

I came back with a cold drink. Xi'er asked me to get sunscreen. She asked me to get wet wipes!

I gasped, "please! Can you finish it all at once? "

"Now it's all over!" Xi'er squeezed her eyes at me and said, stretching out her hand and unscrewing a bottle of water, she took a big drink.

"Drink! Drink! Drink more! I don't know where you're going to pee in the wilderness I thought wickedly.Xi'er sat down beside Ouyang Ze with a small wet towel in her hand and looked at him with a smile. She raised her hand to wipe the sweat on his forehead.

Daniel looked at me a little flattered and said with a smile, "Xi'er! Shall I do it myself? "

"Let me do it!" Xi'er pouted and said, "isn't it good that people want to wipe your sweat?"

Seeing that Daniel was looking at me unnaturally, Xi'er turned her eyes and looked at me with a smile: "Gu Yang! I'm so hungry! " To prove it, she also rubbed her small abdomen.

I said, "what should I do? We didn't bring any food! "

"So?" Xi'er put her hand on her lower lip and thought for a moment, then she said, "maybe you can find some edible fruit on the opposite hillside."

I thought that it would be better than standing on the top of my head as a searchlight, but I muttered, "what wild fruit will be eaten in this season?"

"It seems that there are many pomegranate trees over there." Xi'er then said, stretching out her hand and pointing at the opposite hillside.

"Please, do you have some common sense? Miss, it's January now. There's no pomegranate for you! I can forgive you for making excuses to take me away, but your spirit of lying is too lax! " I thought bitterly, turned and strode to the opposite hillside.

Over the hillside, take a look, not to mention fruit trees, even the leaves of fruit trees can not be found! I slide into the sun on the hillside, fall on the grass, look at the blue sky, look at the clouds swimming like sheep with the breeze, and begin to count sheep in my heart.

I began to count the sheep. I think when I count to a thousand, the smelly girl should wipe Daniel's sweat, right?

"Happy beautiful sheep, lazy warm sheep, boiling sheep..."

I put my head on my arms, looked up at the sky, counted the white clouds as sheep

Count, I head big, dazzled! Those white clouds became blurred, and suddenly there was a gray thing in the middle! When did Temo grey wolf jump out?

When I got up and slowly climbed up the hillside, overlooking the two people on the side of the road! I was scared!

Although they were sitting together before, there was a gap between them! Now the distance of that blow has magically disappeared! Between the two people have achieved a zero distance to brave across, close together!

Wait! What are they doing? When I looked at it clearly, my heart jumped again. I stumbled at my feet and slid on the hillside. I crawled forward like a special forces soldier and found a better angle for me to overlook them!

What are they doing? I saw two people embracing together, one looking forward, the other leaning forward slowly

Whether I want to believe it or not, they are really carrying out the most primitive needs of human lips. It seems that they are going to kiss!

I jumped up from the grass with all my bones, and I felt very angry!

I almost sprinted down the slope. To be exact, I raced straight down the slope. I only felt the wind whistling in my ears, and the gravel under my feet was rolling down by my shoelaces.

At the moment when the two lips were about to touch each other, I rushed to them and gasped in my mouth

The pair released each other like an electric shock and turned to look at me!

I laughed at them and said, "I I thought Xi'er was in danger! I heard a cry for help just now I'm sorry! Excuse me... "

The other side looks at each other, then turns half away in the opposite direction

I said with a smile, "sorry! I'm really sorry Why don't you go on, go on... "

"If you have seed, go on!" I laughed in my heart.

After a few seconds, Xi'er turned around and glared at me, shouting: "do you have auditory hallucination? Well, no one is calling for help! It's not you

"Yes? Strange! I heard someone calling for help! ok Maybe I'm too nervous? Sorry... "

Xi'er glanced at me and muttered, "let's go up the mountain to pick pomegranates. Why did you come back empty handed?"

I said with a smile: "I can swear to you that there are no pomegranates or pomegranate trees on the mountain, only stones!"

I looked at an unknown tree by the side of the road. The flowers of that tree are just like "caterpillars"! I can clearly remember that someone is most afraid of caterpillars!

I reached for two caterpillars, crept up behind her, patted her on the shoulder and said with a smile, "Xi'er! Although I didn't bring pomegranate back for you, I brought other good things back for you! Come on! Take it