This Clueless Hero

I continued to memorize the spell, against my body's will.

My progress before was slow, but right now, it was far slower. There was something about how slow it was that tortured me.

My body had been maimed, yet I still remained standing. Yet for some reason, just this minor persistent pain was enough to slowly wear me down.

It felt... bad

Really bad.

I let out a heavy sigh and rubbed my temple with my knuckle. My eyelids fell shut and just a few moments later, they reopened. It was as though my head was repeatedly banging against a brick wall, trying to demolish it entirely just like that. 

It was not something satisfying to complete. It did not give me a sense of achievement.

After all, I hardly got anywhere.

My body gradually felt cold. It was as though shadows seeped into my body, trying to erode it into nothingness.

It was hard. But why was it hard?

I was sitting in a comfortable chair, looking at a piece of paper. There was nothing threatening my life, nor was there a need to search for my next meal. I've fought a lizard that towered over me like a mountain.

And I won.

Yet... here I was. Defeated by a piece of paper that didn't even try to attack me.

There was something that just didn't make sense to me. How could I feel so much struggle from a light pain?

I forced my body to move forward through so much pain.

I forced my body to move forward when my mind could hardly process its thoughts.

I forced my body to move forward despite how hopeless the situation seemed.

...So why was it so hard now?

There must've been something wrong with what I've been doing. How else could this situation be explained?

The pain in my head grew fiercely, prompting me to look away from the parchment. I closed my eyes and let out a sharp breath of air.

My breathing became deep and controlled. This time, the pain ebbed away slower. This caused me even more frustration, thus causing me more pain through stress.

A bitter smile emerged on my face, one that mocked myself.

"Why is this so hard for me..."

"Maybe you need a break."

I flinched, and turned towards the voice.

It was Mildred.

There was a sweet smile on her face that made one believe she could care for everyone. She bent over and gently poked me on the forehead.

"You look really stressed out. If you keep going like this, how can you do anything?"

My hand scratched the back of my head.

"Haha... I guess. But surely I'm making more progress as time passes by if I'm working at it all the time. That only makes logical sense, right?"

Mildred let out a small sigh.

"Oh, please. What do you think would happen if you gave up on sleeping entirely and focused on working?"

...Ah.

I tilted my head to the side.

"Well... I guess you have a point there."

Mildred straightened her back and shrugged her shoulders.

"So that's why you should take a break!"

A small frown formed on my face. I held the side of my face with my palm.

"...But I don't feel like sleeping right now."

Mildred giggled.

"But you don't have to sleep to take a break!"

I rubbed my chin with my thumb and forefinger.

"Isn't it the best way though? All the other ways use up energy while sleeping will return it."

Mildred pointed a finger up to the sky confidently.

"How sure are you of that?"

A bitter smile emerged on my face.

"...Well, not sure at all."

If there's one thing I learned, it's that I hardly understand anything. That what I was so sure was one thing was actually another.

Mildred smirked.

"Then would you like to try something new with me? You might like it!"

Was there really something that could help me get rid of the stress in my mind?

...If so, then it might be so much easier to memorize the spell. There was no harm in trying something new, right?

I nodded without too much thought.

"Alright. Why not?"

Mildred perked up and grabbed my hand.

"Come on then, follow me!"

I half-willingly got up and was half-forced up by Mildred's tug. She seemed... a little more aggressive than she normally was. Though I guess she was far less aggressive when...

Nevermind.

Suddenly, Mildred turned to me.

"Ah, you still have those fifty coppers I gave you right?"

I blinked a few times in confusion.

"Er, yeah. Why do you ask?"

Mildred smiled cheerily.

"Bring them along! There's something great you can spend it on!"

An awkward smile emerged on my face.

"Haha, I'll buy that later. For now, I'm trying to save up for something."

Mildred looked like I was some strange animal that nature never should have created.

"Why are you trying to save up for things?"

My hand scratched the back of my head.

"Is that really such a bad thing?"

Mildred rolled her eyes.

"Keeping money around is basically asking for it to get stea-"

Without warning, she cut herself off. Mildred laughed awkwardly.

"Sorry. I forgot that we live in the palace, not some house in the kingdom."

I didn't understand what Mildred was saying, but nodded anyway.

"Um, ok."

Mildred sighed.

"You won't be able to do this without any money."

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well, I only plan to find out more. I don't have to directly participate in order to consider it."

Mildred let out a dissatisfied hum.

"I suppose... but you may regret that choice!"

I laughed sadly.

"If I regret it, then I regret it. It's not like I haven't regretted my choices before."

Then, my eyes drifted towards Mildred.

"Say, what is this thing, anyway? Why can't you just tell me outright?"

Mildred smiled mischievously.

"Let me just show you instead!"

She proceeded to drag me into the village, eagerly passing by the other folks. We attracted quite a bit of attention, but nobody cared enough to bother us.

Soon, we arrived in front of a tavern.

A familiar tavern.

It was the one Mildred brought me to long ago, where she showed me that unpleasant tasting thing called beer.

...Wait. The thing she was referring to was beer this entire time.

A headache was coming on. I tightly held the side of my head, digging my fingers into my scalp. The bad memories of drinking beer last time bubbled up.

I didn't want to experience them once more.

However, Mildred didn't seem to notice my resistance as she dragged me inside and got us next to the bartender. We each took a seat.

For a moment, I wanted to tell Mildred to let me go, but then I remembered my role was a spectator only, tonight.

And so, I kept my mouth shut.

Mildred slammed down a silver coin against the counter. Then, she raised her hand high in the air and swung it back and forth.

"I want a large one here!"

A middle-aged man hurried over. It was the bartender.

"Coming right up!"

After rummaging around, he set down a large mug of beer in front of Mildred and took the silver coin. Once the bartender saw Mildred, a wide smile appeared on his face.

"Haha, I see you're here for a long one again, eh?"

Mildred took a deep breath.

"What else would I be here for?"

The bartender laughed.

"Well said!"

Then, he turned to me.

"What are you getting?"

An awkward smile emerged on my face.

"Ah, I'm not here to get anything. I'm just accompanying a friend."

The bartender looked at Mildred, then looked at me.

"Well... you can stay in the bar. But if you don't pay, you can't sit."

I nodded and slipped off the chair.

"Ah, ok."

During my conversation with the bartender, Mildred had already started drinking. She slowly tilted her head back along with lifting up the mug. Mildred let out very audible gulping sounds that blended in with the others in the tavern.

For some reason, seeing her drink the beer gave me an ominous feeling. An awkward laugh escaped me.

"Drinking too fast is probably bad for you, right Mildred?"

Mildred's eyes had glazed over. She turned to me with a careless smile.

"Hmm? How bad could that possibly be?"

The bartender looked at me sternly.

"Let the woman do what she wants."

I raised my hands as though I was surrendering.

"Ok, ok!"

Mildred slammed down the mug against the table and slid another coin.

"Another one!"

The bartender took the mug with a smile.

"Of course!"

Like that, Mildred continued to drink the beer in a violent manner. My brows furrowed in confusion.

Last time I remembered, the beer was quite nasty. So why did Mildred drink it like it was the tastiest thing in the world?

While lost in my thoughts, I felt a strange sense of fear.

....Coming from Mildred's direction.