Inner Destroyer

　“It’s hard to put yourself in their shoes.”

　087: Greedy and selfish me

　Lin's trouble is indeed a rather special problem.

　This isn't just a simple matter of a young girl worrying about whether she can have a relationship.

　Because in essence, this is actually a beast that is born with great strength, and is worried that its claws will hurt people; it is doubting and wondering whether it "can love others" - and here it specifically refers to romantic love.

　If we only talk about "love", then Qi Xing feels that even if Lin says "I just do what I want to do". Even if it may be a condescending pity, at least she insists on protecting those she wants to protect. In Qi Xing's opinion, how can this be true?

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　It can be regarded as a very remarkable love.

　But this kind of love is very different from the love that Lin is worried about whether he can have.

　"That's a really hard question to answer."

　At least Qi Xing wouldn't say to her, "You're just thinking too much."

　But Lin's next words surprised him.

　"Oh? I thought I could gain some experience from you."

　Lin frowned.

　"Isn't Miss Elaine your fiancée?"

　Hey! Why are you bringing up something that is not relevant to the topic?

　Qi Xing was shocked by these words for a moment, and the wine he had just drunk turned into cold sweat.

　Why did Lin know this? The answer was actually very simple. Naturally, Sasa had deliberately let them see it in Qi Xing's file.

　"Miss Elaine is much weaker than you, but the feelings you both share don't seem to be pity. Although I can see that you are of a higher status, and Miss Elaine wants to devote herself to you as much as she can, it's still different."

　Lin said this with a thoughtful look on his face.

　"Miss Elaine seems to want to stay with you more than to have you."

　"Mother is completely dependent on father. Even if father disappeared without a word one day, she would just sigh in sorrow alone, right?"

　Oh my god.

　Rin probably had no ill intentions and was simply chatting with friends and discussing love issues.

　But when Qi Xing heard her talk about Elaine, it really hurt his own guilt!

　I don’t want to be a scumbag!

　He had to change the subject a little.

　"Think about it from another perspective. What kind of love do you want?"

　Qi Xing seemed calm but asked very hard.

　"What kind of partner do you want?"

　"I haven't really thought about this issue carefully." Lin frowned again, "First of all, my future husband certainly can't be ruined by me accidentally. But..."

　But...is that all there is to it? Just being strong enough?

　Although Lin had not seen as many powerful people as Qi Xing, she vaguely knew that she would not be willing to marry just any master.

　She obviously cared about more than that.

　She didn't want a relationship like her parents', one of pity and the desire to be pitied. She wanted a partner who wouldn't be easily broken. But could that be considered love? It seemed a bit strange.

　What exactly does she want from love?

　This was something she couldn't quite explain, and it was obviously something that even Rin herself was still troubled by and hadn't truly understood.

　Just like that, before they knew it, they seemed to have forgotten that each of them was naked, and continued chatting while soaking in the hot spring.

　They talked about many things, from love, to each other's complaints about comics, and to past battle experiences.

　This sense of distance is really incredible.

　But Qi Xing never really forgot that they were both naked.

　Twenty minutes later, he finally found a chance to leave the hot spring and walked back to his room in his bathrobe. He looked calm on the way, but his heart was filled with mixed feelings.

　I can’t—I can’t be a scumbag!

　But Phosphorus is also great, right?

　"Still struggling, still struggling."

　Sasa leaned out and glanced at Qi Xing, then shook her head.

　"Well, at least you admitted your desire."

　"But I have Elaine."

　"No one asked you to choose just one. And the witch was right."

　Sasa raised her eyebrows.

　"The little nun is content to stay with you. I doubt she would mind the method at all."

　"One thing at a time. I said I would take responsibility."

　"what."

　The Loli Evil God scoffed at this.

　"I'll bet you this. If you actually go back to your room and tell the little nun, 'Oh no! I just had a crush on Jingorin and the bastard Green Bean in the hot springs, and I want to marry two wives,' she'll nod immediately and even start to argue for you that it's perfectly reasonable for a powerful emperor to have a harem."

　Shakespeare once said that even the devil can quote the Bible to justify his motives. Look at Sasa, without blinking, he starts talking: "Charlemagne, you know? The founder of modern Europe, Europe's greatest emperor, beatified by the Church, a status second only to sainthood—do you know how many wives he had?"

　Qi Xing didn't understand this, but at least he understood what Sasa wanted to express and was speechless.

　"Let's go back to an earlier time, someone I'm more familiar with—Solomon's father, King David. Ah, old friend. I wanted to kill him even when I was an angel. All apocalyptic religions, including modern Christianity, consider him a holy king and hero. Do you know how many wives he had? Not only did he have a harem, he also coveted other people's wives."

　"They are kings, that doesn't count..."

　Qi Xing said weakly.

　"That's why I said you don't have the magnanimity of a king. Why can't you be king?"

　Sasa sneered.

　"Then let me tell you about my dear brother."

　"Ye Ge doesn't have a wife."

　"How do you know he's not married?"

　Sasa countered Qi Xing's complaints with just one sentence.

　"Have you forgotten what you came to Japan to investigate in the first place? I'm telling you, Qi Xing, in all the folk tales and variant Christian myths, my brother has married way too many wives!"

　"What Celtic barbarian girls, Egyptian rich women, Magdalene prostitutes, mermaid queens—from the British Isles to the Japanese archipelago, he married everyone along the way in various folk tales. He is truly worthy of being David's offspring.

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　"In the Yazidi mythology you're investigating, my brother had nine sons and three daughters. King David would have been sweating!"

　ah? ah? ?

　Before Qi Xing woke up, he asked Sasa if she had any Yazidi followers. Sasa played dumb and said nothing. So why is she now exposing such a big scandal about her own brother?!

　Unfortunately, Qi Xing hadn't returned to his room yet and was still in the hotel hallway. If Elaine had heard their conversation, she would have immediately warned Qi Xing that the devil was always good at talking nonsense. It was easy to get confused by her words. The easiest way to deal with the devil was to ignore her.

　It’s a pity that Elaine is not here at this time.

　It was another person who came.

　"Young man."

　A voice suddenly sounded from the side of the corridor.

　The next second, a middle-aged man with blond hair and a Hawaiian shirt slid out of the door like a fish, holding a folding fan in his hand.

　Of course, he is Rin's weird father.

　"Just now I thought I heard you mumbling to yourself in the hallway, something about 'being responsible'?"

　Shinji's father put away his fan and asked with interest.

　To be honest, Qi Xing is very sensitive to the word "responsibility" now. But he still maintains his usual state and remains calm...

　"Are you talking about my Rin? I saw you two taking a hot spring bath together."

　Poof!

　I don’t know if it’s because I feel guilty, but Qi Xing is finding it hard to stay calm right now.

　"Honestly, young man—I don't know what will go through Ah Lin's head next."

　Shingo Shinji gestured with his fan, his eyes passed over Qi Xing's face and stopped at his eyes.

　"But I know one thing—if a man doesn't even have the courage to take responsibility for his romantic interests with women, then he ultimately won't be able to shoulder greater ambitions."

　"Didn't you say you wanted to change the world?"

　"Young people, changing the world is much more difficult and arduous than just two or three women, or four or five women."

　"If you can't even face up to seven or eight women, or ten or so women, or shoulder the responsibility, then it's better to give up as soon as possible. Why bother talking about changing the world?"

　Why are you talking about more and more women?!

　"Changing the world means being responsible for everyone in it. How can a man who doesn't even dare to open a harem bear the whole world?"

　"'I'm responsible!' There's nothing wrong with that statement alone. But if that responsibility doesn't become a driving force for your efforts, and instead becomes a burden on your life..."

　"Then you'd better stop now."

　"Otherwise, sooner or later you'll end up looking like someone—"

　Suddenly, the God of War father smiled, his eyes once again showing a bit of nonchalant arc, and his tone became relaxed: "Just like the righteous comrades who shot their biological father first and then shot down their adoptive mother's plane, you regret your original choice."

　Qi Xing was speechless for a moment.

　After saying that, Father Shenhu patted Qi Xing's shoulder as if nothing had happened, turned around and left.

　"I'm going to go prepare your dinner. If you can listen to me, then think about it; if not, it doesn't matter."

　The next second, Shinji Jingo was humming a tuneless tune, his back swaying as he disappeared at the end of the corridor.

　"Why are so many people suggesting I start a harem? Is this world's fault? You must have ruined this world, right, Sasa?"

　"Go, go, don't throw the responsibility to me."

　Joking aside, Qi Xing actually felt a little complicated - but after all, he was not a nagging whale, and he didn't want to be Kiritsugu.

　Having been pointed out so forcefully, if Qi Xing doesn't change, he will no longer be qualified to be a man.

　Wake up, wake up! You've just got what's in the bowl and you're already eyeing what's in the pot! How could you be like this? Why are you such a greedy and selfish person?

　However, since you are aware of your greedy and selfish nature, just admit it honestly.

　And start taking action.

　-

　On the other side, it was said that the old man Shinji Kamigo, humming a tuneless little tune, walked into the kitchen of the hot spring hotel and began to prepare dinner for Qi Xing and the others.

　Tonight's menu is vegetable casserole, roast veal, yogurt and naan.

　The kitchen featured a traditional Japanese stove, firewood and charcoal piled in one corner, while a modernized electric stove and refrigerator sat in the other. Jingo Shinji skillfully took out the ingredients, donned gloves, washed his hands, and began preparing them while humming a song.

　However, he had just grabbed a handful of carrots when suddenly, two paper dolls flew in silently from the gap in the window and began to circle around Shinji's father.

　He didn't even raise his head, just glanced at it, and continued peeling carrots, with a smile on his lips.

　"I told you guys you were going to have fun, right?"

　He casually threw the chopped carrots into the pot, grabbed the beef strips from the cabinet, slapped them with the chopping board, and started to cut with the knife.

　"I've said it before, those idiots have empty heads, only fit to be chopped off and made into wine jugs."

　After sprinkling the beef with salt and black pepper, he added butter to the iron pot on the stove next to him, turned his head and whistled out the window.