American Strategic Deception Bureau

　"Yeah, this skin... damn, it's even better than mine! And yet she's older than my mom!"

　"She's already a transcendent being. How can we mortals compare to her? Look at the looks in those boys' eyes!"

　"Hey, if she blows a kiss up there, the whole school football team will be lining up to get in her bed!"

　"Hmph, let those foolish men be squeezed dry by this old woman and turned into a pile of soft dregs!

　Why am I saying this? Think about it, her husband is also a superhuman, and a baseball player.

　He was built like a tank, yet he died in his fifties. Why do you think that happened? It was because he was sucked dry by that she-wolf in bed!

　"Think about it for a bit. Because of this perfect body, Marilyn Monroe could no longer wear shoes or stockings, could no longer walk the red carpet or attend ceremonies, could no longer attend high-end social parties. She could only play in the water with others at the beach and in the swimming pool, and was secretly called the Beach Girl..."

　"That's not necessarily true. Recently, celebrities in the entertainment industry have been very keen on holding pajama parties, some even at nudist camps!"

　"In addition, the next Oscars ceremony will no longer require participants to dress in a certain way, and guests will be allowed to walk the red carpet shirtless and barefoot."

　"What? Letting people go to the Vanity Fair party shirtless and barefoot? Like barbarians? Do those old fogies in the academy have any shame?"

　"There's no other way. The superpower of immunity to all diseases is more important than any etiquette. For the sake of precious life and health, all social etiquette can be thrown down the toilet. When my grandmother was young, wearing a one-piece swimsuit to the beach was considered immoral, but now? From Santa Monica to Ragusa, there are nude beaches everywhere in Los Angeles! There's even a nudist camp on Catalina Island!"

　"Damn it! An old woman like this should be hiding in a dark corner and slowly rotting away. Why is she out here trying to steal the spotlight from a young girl?"

　"There's nothing we can do, Rita. We can't snatch men from her. After all, she's the Marilyn Monroe who charmed the president. There are so many men in the world who want to sleep with her! Not to mention when she's 45, even if she's 65, there will still be men obsessed with her..."

　"Now she's selling her husband's belongings, and next she'll be selling her own old clothes!

　I hope some idiot boy doesn't buy her old clothes and give them to me as a gift! If he does, I'll definitely spit in his face! "

　"Oh? A Chanel haute couture evening gown that I wore to the Vanity Fair party. Even if it's been worn before, you really don't want it?"

　"I don't want clothes that have been worn by others! Besides, they are already out of style now!"

　"I don't mind if someone gives me clothes worn by Marilyn Monroe, even stockings are fine! Of course, whether or not I want to go on a date with the person is another matter! Just because I accept a gift doesn't mean I agree to go on a date!"

　"You're really not picky, you greedy little bitch! Aren't you afraid of getting athlete's foot from wearing someone else's stockings?"

　"Huh? A 'Tantric Master' would get athlete's foot? Are you kidding? These extraordinary people can't even catch a cold."

　……

　Facing the ageless beauty Marilyn Monroe on the stage, wearing a bikini and holding a small wooden hammer, who looked even more seductive despite having a black veil on her face, the boys from USC were dazzled and drooling; the girls were whispering to each other, full of envy and jealousy.

　—It must be said that as the largest supplier of "legal plant-based narcotics" in the Los Angeles area, although Zoe is only an associate professor on the surface, she actually has a lot of influence, and even the principal has to give her some face.

　In addition, when the principal learned that the school auditorium was borrowed to help Marilyn Monroe, who had recently lost her husband and was in financial difficulty, he was extremely excited. He grabbed Marilyn Monroe's delicate hand and asked her about her well-being in a very cheesy way, and he almost wanted to invite her to live in his home.

　As for such a small matter as borrowing the school auditorium to sell second-hand goods, the principal wrote a note to approve it on the spot and also instructed the student union to help maintain order.

　The core goal of this flea market auction is not to raise funds, but to "cry poor and act miserably."

　Therefore, the starting prices of the old items from Marilyn Monroe's home that were put up for auction were not high, and could even be considered very cheap.

　Although most college students are not wealthy—even those from wealthy families have monthly or weekly credit card limits, and the richer the class, the less likely they are to save money—they can still afford it relatively easily.

　Moreover, boys are willing to buy it because of Marilyn Monroe's fame and her stunning beauty that is now displayed to the public.

　For example, at this moment, when the male college student who bought the flannel leisure suit left by Monroe's husband and walked onto the stage with the money in hand excitedly came to Monroe's side, he was immediately fascinated by this mature female body with skin as white as snow and a faint intoxicating fragrance.

　What kind of peerless beauty is this?

　At this moment, Monroe's curvaceous body was exposed, covered only by the three small pieces of fabric from her bikini, barely covering less than 10% of her skin. Her exquisite curves were clearly visible. Her dazzling blond hair (dyed) shone like the sun, and was also spread out without any affectation.

　The bright sunlight streaming in through the skylight rendered her beautiful body into a dreamlike illusion. Her fair skin, delicate collarbone, and long, smooth golden hair all refracted hazy, colorful specks of light under the brilliant sunlight.

　When she bent down and handed over the folded old suit, there was suddenly a sound of a broken ribbon - the thin black silk ribbon of the bikini top seemed to be pulled apart because it could no longer hold up the pair of huge, upright and soft things, and then it slipped off.

　The round and firm white fat balls and deep cleavage are exposed so clearly

　, and exudes a rich sweet scent.

　Marilyn Monroe quickly covered her chest with her hands, feeling a little embarrassed, but also a little proud. After all, for a woman in her forties to still have such firm breasts was undoubtedly a great honor—didn't she hear the gasps from below?

　However, what she didn't notice was that the boy standing in front of her, who was old enough to be her son, was already blushing.

　After all, two balls of snow-white fat were exposed right in front of him, and deep grooves were squeezed out by delicate hands, which was simply tempting him to commit a crime.

　He swallowed hard, his vision suddenly dizzy and his chest pounding. Then, impulsively, he pulled out a few more bills and threw them into the cash box, then shamelessly said, "I'll give you two hundred dollars, Ms. Monroe. Can you give me a kiss as a reward?"

　Marilyn Monroe was slightly taken aback when she heard this. Then, looking at the astonished expressions of the teachers and students below, she suddenly became playful and lifted her translucent black veil on the spot, gently pecking the boy's stubbled face. Then, she patted his chest and grinned, "Thank you for your generosity, but my kisses aren't cheap. This is a reward for your courage, my cute little cock!"

　Just like that, accompanied by the whistles and good-natured punches of his classmates, as well as the cheers of "You're so good", "You're so lucky", "You're so brave" and so on, the boy who received the beautiful woman's kiss staggered back to his seat like a sleepwalker, holding his old suit.

　Several paparazzi covering entertainment news immediately rushed over, vying to interview the lucky man about his thoughts and feelings.

　In short, as time went by, Joe DiMaggio's belongings were quickly sold out - Monroe couldn't sell all of her husband's belongings. Those commemorative trophies, medals, etc. had to be kept as souvenirs, and some things were too old to be sold.

　Next, it was time to sell Monroe's own things... Watching Monroe turn around and take out the goods for sale from a large wooden box, Fili, who was standing in the back row and watching, couldn't help but worry secretly: Would she really be auctioning off her own original underwear in public?

　Even though she has been a world-famous porn star since her debut, she has never had the image of a pure and innocent girl.

　But this is a bit too shameless!

　For a moment, Fili was in a very conflicted mood.

　As a fun-loving person, he certainly wanted to see the hilarious scene of "Marilyn Monroe personally auctioning her original underwear."

　But as an old friend of Monroe, he didn't want Marilyn Monroe's image to completely change from a blonde beauty to a lunatic and a harlequin girl.

　Fortunately, although Monroe's mental state seemed a little bad after the death of her husband, she did not go completely crazy and forget about worldly affairs and common sense.

　Those pantyhose, garters, and stockings she had no use for since becoming a "Tantric Master" were brought to USC by the Dark Sun Cult's lunatics. But when the auction was finally underway, Monroe, realizing something was amiss, picked them out and threw them directly into the trash.

　Now, the items that Marilyn Monroe has put up for auction include, besides various dresses and hats, her shoes and leftover perfume.

　But looking at the boxes of high-end perfumes from brands like Gucci, Chanel, and Dior, as well as rows of high heels, boots, sandals, and even luxurious slippers encrusted with diamonds, the phrase "selling perfume and shoes" couldn't help but pop into Fili's mind.

　No, no, no, they are just similar in behavior. DiMaggio is not Prime Minister Cao, and Monroe is not the beauty in the Bronze Sparrow Tower.

　He quickly shook his head, trying to get rid of this inexplicable thought.

　However, just as Fili was trying to push his overly divergent thoughts out of his mind, his personal henchman, the fat Texas clerk Wolf Lee, ran over breathlessly, leaned close to Fili, and whispered, "Something's happened, sir. The news from the bureau is that France has just launched a retaliatory nuclear strike against us!"

　Ah, the shoe has finally dropped. It seems that the Gallic chickens these days still have some courage to draw their swords.

　Ferry nodded in understanding and said nonchalantly, "Ever since the Eiffel Tower collapsed in Paris, isn't this what was expected to happen? Tell me, which city in the United States was hit by the French nuclear bomb? It shouldn't be near us, right?"

　Then, he heard an unexpected answer.

　"No, the French didn't nuke the US mainland. They sent spies to bomb the Heidelberg base in Germany with miniature atomic bombs! That was the largest US military base in Germany! We were building an iron curtain in Central Europe to defend against the Soviet Bolsheviks, and the French blew it through from behind!"

　What? In retaliation for the US nuclear attack, France chose to bomb the US military base in Heidelberg, Germany?

　Is this the second time Germany has suffered a nuclear explosion in the past year?

　Last time it was an American nuclear bomb in Frankfurt, and this time it was a French nuclear bomb in Heidelberg?

　Fili was quite embarrassed for a moment:

　Previously, when the United States and West Germany were fighting, Germany suffered a nuclear explosion; how come now that the United States and France are fighting, Germany is still suffering a nuclear explosion?

　It seems as if Germany now has a connection with nuclear bombs?

　Could it be that there is a pair of big hands in the dark that are fiddling with fate, thinking that among the Axis powers in World War II, only Japan was hit by two

　The atomic bomb seems too unfair. Germany, which escaped disaster because of its early defeat, has to make up for it by being hit by two atomic bombs now?

　Author's Note: PS: Hilarious! Trump suggested clearing Gaza and relocating the Palestinians to Jordan. Iran countered with a proposal to relocate Israel to Greenland to establish a state: while it might be a bit colder, the territory would be expanded over a hundred times!

　Chapter 582: World tension continues to rise!

　Good morning, Germans! Today, most parts of the Federal Republic of Germany will be sunny and have moderate temperatures.

　However, due to the nuclear attack on Heidelberg last night, parts of Baden-Württemberg may experience slight radioactive rain.

　It is recommended to take iodine tablets and carry radiation protection equipment when going out. I wish you and your family a happy life! "

　"Voice of America stated that despite the hype surrounding the Heidelberg nuclear mushroom cloud, German lives and property were not affected at all."

　"The United Nations keeps telling us that world peace is on the horizon. But anyone who has attended middle school knows that the horizon is a line you can see but never reach."

　"Environmentalists should understand that nuclear war cannot destroy the Earth, it can only destroy humanity, so please rest assured!"

　"If a nuclear bomb strikes, hide under the table and hold your head. What? Will that save your life? Of course not, but it will make your body easier to identify. Alternatively, you can lie down and enjoy the last rays of sunlight—you can't escape anyway."

　"The mission of US forces in Europe is to protect Europe from the threat of Soviet nuclear bombs and to ensure that Europe can only withstand nuclear bombs from elsewhere."

　"The US says their nuclear weapons are for maintaining world peace, and the Soviet Union says their nuclear weapons are for preventing the US from maintaining world peace. What about the British? Oh, the British have already handed the nuclear button to the US. In the face of a nuclear war, all they can do is make a pot of tea and calmly wait for the end of the world."

　"In preparation for nuclear war, the Germans developed detailed evacuation plans, down to the second – even though they knew they were useless."

　"The French would raise their hands in a nuclear war—not to surrender, but to block the flash."

　"What will the map of Europe look like after a nuclear war? A blank slate, but at least Europeans have finally achieved 'unification'..."

　"Slogan: 'Welcome to the 'Nuclear Peace Home' shelter! We offer luxurious underground suites, unlimited canned food, and free radiation testing! In the shelter, you can play board games, read books, and discuss who is to blame for this war.'"

　Remember, book before the nuclear war and you'll get a 9% discount!'"

　"Why can your company's nuclear war shelter only accommodate one family? Because the post-nuclear war world doesn't need neighbors."

　"There's only one exit in the shelter. What if it gets blocked? Don't worry. After a nuclear war breaks out, you might not even need the exit!"

　"What if the shelter can't accommodate everyone? It doesn't matter. The extra people can become your radiation shield."

　"Given that cockroaches can survive a nuclear war, I suggest that all doomsday survivalists keep cockroaches as pets. At least they can stay with you until the end, and they might even keep you as their pet after the war."

　Insurance company advertisement: "Purchase our new nuclear war insurance and receive full compensation in the event of a nuclear explosion!"

　The customer asked, “Who will pay for it then?”

　The salesperson replied, "After a nuclear war, neither you nor I will be around anymore, so why worry about something that doesn't exist?"

　……

　In Pasadena, Los Angeles, in the "Federal Space Forces Command & Strategic Deception Agency Headquarters," which looks like the editorial office of a science fiction magazine, Firi sat at his desk, reading the various sharp comments on the "Heidelberg Nuclear Explosion Incident" in newspapers and magazines, and found it quite interesting.

　It has to be said that no matter what era, Americans never lack the spirit of finding joy in adversity and the imagination to make fun of themselves in various ways.

　In short, after the United States brazenly bombed Paris and destroyed the Eiffel Tower, French President Pompidou was forced into a desperate situation.

　Although he openly adopted the White House's statement, pretending that the Tuagher anti-French organization "Desert Dawn Front" in the Sahara Desert of West Africa smuggled miniature nuclear bombs into France and exploded Paris, he was also seriously preparing to send the French Foreign Legion to West Africa for retaliation.

　But even though they admit defeat on the surface, the actual retaliatory actions must be stepped up.

　After all, it had only been two years since President Charles de Gaulle stepped down, and the Gallic people had not yet immediately forgotten their "dream of a great and powerful country."

　If President Pompidou does not dare to retaliate after being slapped in the face by the Americans, then public opinion in France will explode.

　The Vietnamese, after being bombed by thousands of nuclear bombs and losing two-thirds of their population, still had the nerve to fight the US military to the death. The French Fifth Republic, with its fleet of aircraft carriers, nuclear bombs, and nuclear submarines, didn't even dare to bomb its capital, Paris, after it was bombed by a US nuclear attack.

　Such a lack of martial virtue is even worse than the Vietnamese monkeys! It really makes the imperialist powers lose face!

　Do we really want to imitate Jesus and turn the right cheek when someone hits us on the left? Isn't that shameless?

　Just a few decades ago, when the Gallic roosters were rampant around the world, the saying was, "If I hit you on the left cheek, you should offer me the right cheek."

　!

　If France, one of the five permanent members of the UN Security Council and a first-generation member of the nuclear club, were to truly turn a blind eye after a US nuclear bomb struck its capital, Paris, not only would its own people be either disheartened or furious, but even its African allies, who once followed France's lead and served as its blood and resource base, would likely tear down their tricolor flags and turn to the Soviet Union or the US.

　After all, no one in this world is willing to obey a coward!

　If you, the leader, act too cowardly, your subordinates will definitely run away, and then a chain reaction will break out in the country!

　So, it's like Iran in the fall of 2024. No matter how outwardly timid the ruling class is, no matter how pro-American the new leader is, no matter how much the high-ranking traitors want to be the leader, in the face of Israel's repeated provocations, they are forced to launch a wave of missiles in retaliation under pressure from public opinion.

　Although the French Elysee Palace is still full of trepidation about provoking the United States, it still has to shoot the arrow.

　However, despite having decided to use nuclear bombs against the Americans, the French still hesitated and did not dare to make a big scene.

　The US mainland wouldn't be bombed, fearing a blanket bombardment of France from US intercontinental missiles. The US Navy's aircraft carrier battle groups seemed like a good target. However, the US Sixth Fleet, stationed in Naples, Italy, acting as the "Mediterranean police," had recently lost most of its combat vessels, leaving only a few outdated frigates, supply ships, and merchant ships. Bombing these decrepit vessels wouldn't be very meaningful.

　As for the more distant US naval bases? France's nuclear weapon delivery capabilities are limited and cannot reach US aircraft carriers far away in the Indian and Pacific Oceans.

　Finally, the Elysee Palace, which was constantly weighing the nuclear bombs in its hands, turned its attention to the US troops stationed in Germany across the Rhine.

　Currently, the total number of US troops stationed in Europe is approximately 100,000, of which 70,000 are stationed in Germany. The headquarters of US Forces Germany is located in Stuttgart. The Fifth Army, the main combat unit of US Forces Germany, is headquartered in Heidelberg, 80 kilometers from Frankfurt. Its forces are distributed across a vast area of ​​southern Germany, from Württemberg and Bavaria to Hesse. This elite unit of the US Army, despite repeated reductions in recent years, still has 40,000 to 50,000 personnel.

　After repeated considerations, the French decided that bombing the US Army headquarters in Stuttgart would cause too much noise and could lead to the complete collapse of the Iron Curtain in Central Europe, thus benefiting Russia. Therefore, they decided to lower their demands slightly and simply bomb the Fifth Army headquarters in Heidelberg.

　This will not only allow the angry French people to vent their anger and show France's strength to the world, but also avoid a complete break with the United States.

　Otherwise, if a full-scale nuclear war between the United States and the Soviet Union did not break out, but a nuclear war between the United States and France broke out first, causing the Soviet Union to gain an advantage, wouldn’t that be ridiculous?

　At the same time, Heidelberg is only 80 kilometers away from Frankfurt, and the local Germans should be able to better master nuclear explosion survival skills.

　Frankfurt was recently hit by a US nuclear bomb, and the ruins haven't even been cleared yet! I believe that after experiencing a real nuclear explosion, the nearby Germans have adapted to coexisting with mushroom clouds during the Cold War and have a stronger tolerance for nuclear explosions.