American Strategic Deception Bureau

　Although the entire process was a lose-lose situation, the conflict of interests between the two countries has indeed disappeared...

　Well, if the interests are gone, how can there be any conflict?

　The capitalists in this world have never been murderers. Do you understand that there is no killing without buying and selling?

　Cuba at this moment is almost becoming a "shithole country" that people avoid, just like Haiti in later generations!

　Of course, Cuba's territory, covering 110,000 square kilometers and dotted with tropical plantations, could not have been completely contaminated by radiation, even after seven US hydrogen bombs and one Soviet atomic bomb (the two submarine-launched nuclear torpedoes were detonated outside Cuban territorial waters).

　But the problem is that the international capitalist market is very particular about brand and reputation, and Cuba's tropical specialties are not irreplaceable.

　——Although Havana’s cigars are famous, tobacco from many other places is also not bad.

　Cuba was indeed once known as the "Sugar Bowl of the Caribbean." However, a host of tropical and subtropical countries, including Brazil, India, the Dominican Republic, Mexico, Thailand, and the Philippines, also produce sugar, and the quality is generally better than Cuban sugar.

　In this way, continuing to operate plantations and produce sugar, tobacco, rubber and tropical fruits on the island of Cuba, which has been labeled as a "nuclear explosion wasteland" and "radiation pollution"... will naturally become a very stupid and unprofitable business, and even become a way for capitalists to alleviate poverty for the Cuban people!

　on

　In the 21st century, is there anyone who can turn wheat from Chernobyl and seafood from Fukushima into hot-selling commodities in the international market?

　——If you can sell it at a loss, it’s good! Under normal circumstances, most of the time, you can’t sell it even if you lose money, and it will just rot in the warehouse!

　The only way to reverse this predicament is to use marketing methods to make people widely believe that nuclear pollution is insignificant or even that "radiation is good for health."

　In the Cold War era when the shadow of nuclear war loomed over the world, this level of "distorted thinking" was simply impossible.

　Because its difficulty is probably much higher than ending the Cold War.

　Since Cuba has been labeled as a country with nuclear pollution and conventional agricultural products cannot be sold, the land in Cuba has become worthless.

　For capitalists, a slow return on investment equals a loss. It's already difficult to make big money in agriculture, let alone in radioactively contaminated land—so it's better to divest! Even if you have to sell your money and cash out, it's better than just throwing money away!

　For example, during the conflict between Russia and Ukraine, Russia wanted to cede the strategically important Crimea and the coal-rich Donbas region, and the Kyiv authorities refused to concede, even if they were facing a crushing defeat. But if Russia only wanted to cede the contaminated Chernobyl area...

　Well, maybe the Kiev authorities will actually agree! That way they can pass the blame on to someone else!

　Therefore, in Fili's world line, there should no longer be the legendary Cuban cigars rolled by Latin American girls on their thighs.

　——However, there might be rich men in luxury clubs, resting their heads on the legs of Cuban girls, smoking cigars from other places...

　Since they no longer want Cuba's land, American capitalists naturally have no need to oppose Castro's land reform.

　—The radioactive wasteland contaminated by the nuclear explosion, the Reds can give it to whoever they want! Only a lunatic would covet such a rotten land!

　In other words, the benefits that Castro had failed to obtain in the past by using both soft and hard tactics, and by saying all kinds of good and bad things, have now been obtained directly!

　-

　In addition to Cuba's land resources, another point of conflict between the United States and Cuba - the Guantanamo base - is no longer important.

　More than half a century ago, when the U.S. regular army invaded Cuba and occupied Guantanamo, Queen Victoria was still alive. Britain still had a large number of military bases in the Caribbean, which, together with the Union Jack fleet that crisscrossed the seven seas, posed a certain deterrent to the southern states of the United States.

　Other old European colonial powers also retain some strongholds in the Caribbean region to a greater or lesser extent and continue to exert influence.

　Even the German Empire had large-scale investments in Venezuela, trying to open up a piece of "land in the sun" in the Americas.

　Under these circumstances, the so-called Monroe Doctrine of the United States and the so-called "America for Americans" are nothing but empty words that deceive themselves and others.

　Faced with this unfavorable situation of having completely lost its doorstep, the United States at the time naturally had to hold on to Guantanamo, which it had finally conquered. It not only served as a colonial fortress to safeguard American interests in Cuba, but also as a forward base for the US Navy to enter the Caribbean.

　But today, the whole world has changed dramatically. Even Britain itself has become a vassal of the United States. The European colonial forces in the Caribbean are all trembling under the American flag, and dare not speak or act rashly. Some have even become a burden to the colonial power.

　For example, after World War II, Dutch Guiana (Suriname), backed by the United States, became a giant baby that had to ask the Queen of the Netherlands for money every year. By the way, it also turned the Netherlands from a powerful colonial empire into an imperialist disgrace that was exploited by its colonies.

　French Guiana did survive into the 21st century, but that was because the European Union needed a low-latitude space launch site, which necessitated its continued financial support. Furthermore, with a meager population of just 200,000, French Guiana was in no position to influence the Caribbean.

　In other words, the entire vast Caribbean Sea has now become America's backyard, no longer a battleground for the US and the various old European colonial powers. The Monroe Doctrine has been transformed from theory into reality, and the influence of other powers has been driven out of the Western Hemisphere.

　Then, as the support point of the United States' maritime power in the Caribbean, the significance of Guantanamo will be greatly reduced.

　This is the same reason why after the Qin Empire unified the world, it even abandoned Hangu Pass.

　Previously, the U.S. military continued to hold on to the Guantanamo base mainly out of historical inertia and to slap Castro in the face, not because the base really had much strategic significance - imperialism is always arrogant and will never be reasonable where it can be.

　After the Cuban nuclear explosion, the Pentagon generally believed that Guantanamo Bay was a hot potato. As long as the Soviet Union was expelled from Cuba, Guantanamo Bay could be returned to Cuba, or it could be converted from a military base to an overseas prison and no longer stationed troops...

　As for the hardliners who insist on keeping the Guantanamo base?

　As far as Firi knew, there was no such person in Congress, the White House, or the Pentagon.

　Next, since the nuclear explosion, the United States is no longer interested in Cuban land and assets, and even wants to return the Guantanamo base to Cuba. And the Soviet Union is no longer able to deploy military forces to Cuba... In other words, the United States has become

　I've made up my mind to give up.

　The current United States neither wants the radioactive wasteland of Cuba nor wants to keep the Guantanamo base. It can be said that it has no desire for Cuba.

　So why did the US government continue to invade Cuba when there was no profit at all?

　Of course it’s for the face of the world leader and the majesty of imperialism!

　As the self-proclaimed overlord of the world, it was humiliated at its doorstep and slapped hard by a small-time figure like Castro...

　From New York to Washington, and even Chicago, everyone was in a panic, and the direct economic losses alone amounted to billions.

　Today's Kennedy administration in the United States has almost become a laughing stock around the world, and has lost all the face of America.

　In order to save face, even if Cuba has become a cesspool and no profit can be squeezed out of it, the White House must grit its teeth and fight to the end!

　However, the United States ultimately had no profit in Cuba, and was forced to continue the Cuban War out of face.

　Therefore, the military resources and support that Firi could obtain for this "face-saving battle" were naturally downgraded.

　That's why he only had 1500 soldiers and $50 million to conquer a country as big as Cuba...

　Uh, use the resources for shooting a movie to win a war to annihilate a country!

　No matter from which angle you look at it, this work is outrageous, so outrageous that it is simply impossible to complete it in a normal way.

　As a result, as a follower of the Liar's Prince, Xirik, and a man of pure madness, Fili naturally began to think of all kinds of outrageous and absurd "abnormal battle plans," trying to use his deceptive abilities to "achieve great things with less money"...

　——People with a lot of money have their own way of doing things, and people without money have their own way of doing things.

　In short, whether or not he actually did something is not important. What is important is to make others think that he did something! That way he can get away with it!

　Anyway, the current war in Cuba is essentially a face-saving project.

　Then, the focus of the work is not the project, but face - how can we gain face with as little fighting as possible?

　After much thought, Ferris realized that the only way to win this "face battle" at the lowest cost was to deceive himself and his superiors...

　"Director Dulles's mission for me was to establish a provisional government for a free Cuba and ensure its survival. However, the previous provisional government had been completely wiped out at the Isnaca estate outside Trinidad, and a comprehensive reorganization was now necessary.

　Then wouldn't the simplest way to reorganize it be to simply incorporate Castro's Cuban revolutionary government and replace it with the Free Cuba brand?

　Facing the stunned Marita, Fili said with a beaming expression, "Of course, we have to consider the White House and the president's reputation. So, I have to pretend to have re-established an agent. Well, let the bearded Castro shave his beard, and then change his name and surname to fool the outside world... I suggest changing it to Kakarot? Or Scarlet? Kakashi? Anyway, as long as it's not Castro, it's fine.

　Well, in order to fool Washington, his party would have to change its name so that it doesn't have obvious socialist overtones.

　I remember there was a Tea Party in the US? So, by analogy, why not call the ruling party of Cuba Libre the Sugar Party? Or the Cigar Party?

　Well, I think we should call it the Sugar Party! Hey, the Kakarot regime of the Cuban Sugar Party! How pleasant it sounds..."

　-

　"What? Kakarot? Candy Party? Honey, what are you mumbling about?"

　Obviously, even Marita, his bedmate day and night, can't keep up with Ferry's huge imagination and divergent thinking.

　After all, in this world, there are few people like Firi who can play the game of life and regard the earth as an extra-large game platform, looking at the struggle for hegemony and the game between countries, as well as the collision and struggle between the two major camps in the world from a level or even overlooking humorous perspective.

　In Firi's mind, there's no reverence for powerful figures or rulers, no ideological or religious ideologies, and no moral constraints. There's only the ruthless killing of Paradox players and the wild imagination of those who enjoy entertainment...

　In short, after being stunned for a long time, Marita finally understood Ferry's thoughts and thought that his mental state seemed very worrying.

　——There’s no way. How can the wisdom of a mere mortal understand the petty evils of Paradox players?

　! ”

　Fili sighed as he grabbed the fat balls on Marita's chest and kneaded them gently. "Only by breaking through the shackles of ideology, getting rid of the constraints of inertial thinking, and not being dragged down by morality can we perform the most grand prank for the whole world and win the great pleasure of our Lord Zi Yan!

　Marita, these days, surrounding the dispute over the island of Cuba, the United States and the Soviet Union mobilized huge armies, were on the verge of a war, and were willing to fight a nuclear war. In the end, they succeeded in replacing the Castro red regime in Cuba with a Kakarot, no, Castro white regime.

　After some people's "artistic processing", wouldn't the events that happened in Cuba in January this year become, in the eyes of future generations, "in order to get Castro to shave his beard, ten nuclear bombs were detonated in the Caribbean Sea, and humanity almost started a world war"?

　Tell me, is this fun? Is it absurd? Is it artistic?

　After the truth is revealed, it would be normal to make five or six movies and TV series around this theme, right?

　This kind of thing, fooling the whole world and making the people on Earth collectively stunned, is much more interesting than selling a "wasteland apocalypse survival kit"!

　"Hey, did you turn Castro's beard into the golden apple in ancient Greek mythology that triggered the Trojan War?"

　After being dumbfounded for a long time, Marita shook her head and said, "I don't know how to describe my shock..."

　"Actually, you don't have to be so shocked, Marita. This kind of trick has been tried before. You know Ho Chi Minh of North Vietnam, right? This guy wasn't a Soviet ally at first. Instead, he received funding and subsidies from the US military. So, in order to conceal his political leanings, he tried to change his name and pretend that he wasn't a Bolshevik, but an American liberal leader..."

　When Ho Chi Minh received aid from US intelligence agencies at the end of World War II and was preparing to cling to the US, he also decided to change the party's name to reduce its Soviet influence. He then led a group of Viet Cong leaders to collectively change their name to conceal their past involvement in the Communist International.

　Well, if Ho Chi Minh shaved his beard, changed his hairstyle, or even dyed his hair, and changed his name to speak only in French, who would know he was the leader of the Viet Cong? The US could also say, "When did I ever support Ho Chi Minh, the leader of the Viet Cong? I clearly supported Nguyen Ai Quoc, the scholar who studied in France!"

　Anyway, the key point is to highlight the word "fool"!

　However, before Ho Chi Minh could complete his deception, the United States had already changed its attitude and supported the French colonial authorities' return to Vietnam.

　The brief honeymoon period between Grandpa Hu and the Americans ended in vain, and from then on, there was only war and blood feud.

　Therefore, in Firi's view, he just wanted the current Castro to have a big beard and emulate the old man Ho Chi Minh seventeen years ago.

　If even Ho Chi Minh and the Viet Cong could change their names, why couldn't Castro, who is much less well-known in history, change his name?

　Well, yes, this operation is indeed outrageous, but isn't it even more outrageous that the director asked him to use 1,500 rookie recruits to conquer Cuba?

　Since his superior had given him an outrageous task, as a subordinate, he could only come up with an outrageous result!

　In fact, whether during the Cold War or in the years that followed, all kinds of outrageous things have always been happening in this world.

　For example, in Vietnam, where the war is raging, the national anthems of the South Vietnamese government and the Viet Cong were written by the same author!

　Everyone knew the author of the national anthem had defected to the Communist Party. Yet, no one in the South Vietnamese government ever considered changing the national anthem.

　In this way, the two camps in the Vietnam War sang songs written by the same person and fought for twenty years, and no one changed it until the end of the Vietnam War.

　In contrast, Firi's plan to have Castro change his name and continue to lead Free Cuba was a rather shocking move, but in essence it was nothing more than buying off a traitor. Throughout the Cold War, the Western bloc was happy to recruit traitors from the Red Bloc.

　After all, even with the added bonus of ideology, the US-Soviet Cold War was essentially just a conflict of interests, far from a life-and-death struggle.

　Otherwise, how could those weird little countries in the Third World during the Cold War have the space to jump back and forth between the United States and the Soviet Union?

　What's more, although people during the Cold War emphasized ideology, in essence, ideology was unique to the socialist camp, and the United States only sang a different tune from the Soviet Union and China, and then came up with a set of ideas to better perform the opposite tune.

　In other words, in the "great debate" surrounding the future and destiny of human civilization, the US's "scripture" is a patchwork, full of nonsense and personal attacks. At the same time, the US did not intend to win by chanting scriptures, but rather by various bribery and other tricks.

　You see, since the two major camps formed a confrontation, people in the Western camp basically resolutely joined the Communist Party for the sake of positive energy such as ideals and beliefs; on the contrary, people in the Eastern camp mostly chose to "join freedom" for vulgar things such as income, salary and living conditions.

　In other words, most of the idealists are on the socialist side, while the capitalist camp is full of materialistic people who only care about money.

　In this way, the United States has become a country that is extremely rare in history and focuses on exporting negative energy.

　The most evil version of the universal empire!

　You know, almost all successful universal empires in history have exported positive values ​​and methodologies for at least a period of time.

　For example, the Roman Empire taught the Mediterranean nations, which had been at odds for millennia, how to find common ground while reserving differences and coexist peacefully with their neighbors. Christianity at least stabilized the lower classes of society, Islam significantly strengthened social organization, and East Asian Confucianism, through its continuous replication within areas suitable for farming, established a relatively ideal peasant society. Socialist thought, in particular, enabled many developing countries to rapidly industrialize.

　The United States is one of the very few negative examples. What it actually exports is a set of negative values ​​and methodologies.

　The so-called universal values ​​actually magnify and beautify the ugly side of greed, selfishness and hypocrisy in human nature from all angles. Its goal is entirely to deconstruct the institutional advantages of the socialist camp, corrupt the superstructure of the socialist camp, drag the socialist camp down to the same level as itself, and then use the huge wealth of the colonial empire to exhaust the other side - of course, this shameless approach has indeed been successful.

　But the price is that once the United States loses its stress response to competing with the Soviet Union, its soft power will no longer have any inherent progressiveness.

　Specifically, it is difficult to say that those countries in the Third World that copy the American system have any institutional advantages over their neighbors.

　Even the "Four Asian Tigers," which the United States vigorously fostered as model projects in the late Cold War, appear promising at first glance, but a closer look reveals that one is a military government, another a hereditary regime, another a colonial remnant, and yet another is a combination of all three. None of them actually replicated the American electoral system—the gap between them and the ideals of American liberal democracy is even greater than that between Pakistan and India.

　These few incongruous model projects are already the ceiling for the United States' export of values; anything else will only be worse.

　Why has it gotten so bad? Because the so-called "free camp" led by the United States is actually a terrorist empire that evolved from the colonial world order, completely relying on various soft and hard violence (forced) ceded to the United States by former colonial powers to maintain itself.

　Its core idea is to maintain its existence, but it cannot come up with any more ambitious development goals, and it does not even have a set of self-consistent theories.

　To this end, the United States, which promotes "universal values," has no choice but to become the enemy of all progressive forces. At best, it can only deceive some progressive forces and temporarily use them for its own benefit. Then, before the truth is revealed, it must decisively abandon them - because this thing actually embodies all the reactionary ideas in the world.

　The United States itself did not rise to prominence thanks to the system he boasts about. Rather, it is because its wealth is so abundant that it has not been brought down by this system to this day.

　If the United States during the Cold War would reluctantly "turn right and turn left" and make some pragmatic adjustments, then the system exported by the United States in the 21st century, which is obsessed with chanting scriptures, to its filial sons and grandchildren has become so rubbish that it is difficult to come up with a worse system.

　Even if you don't want to make progress at all, as long as you raise the banner of anti-Americanism, you can slowly accumulate institutional advantages, such as Iran and the Taliban.