I want to be a faded person for life

"My bug friends helped me. They gave me gifts for our first meeting. There was a staff inlaid with purple pyroxene, a scroll recording magic, and a perfumer's outfit that could filter out poison gas."

"They helped me find a place called Ceria, and that's where I became a magician."

"...Later, I left Ceria and traveled to many places in pursuit of the stars."

"Nimgefu and Lienia. Teacher Tops told me that following the blessing might lead to a way back. Aine and the others are still in that world—as expected, Teacher Tops wouldn't lie."

"finally found you."

A smile appeared on Deng's face.

Hearing this, a strong sense of self-blame once again overwhelmed Shoko Toyokawa.

"It's all my fault. If I hadn't had...the light that day, you wouldn't have committed suicide, and you wouldn't have come to the junction."

"suicide?"

Deng had a puzzled look on her face, just like she had on the overpass when they first met.

"...I guess I didn't commit suicide."

"Eh?"

Chapter 42 Let Me Forget Everything

It seemed as if time had gone back to the day when we first met.

【Can't】

【Are you okay?】

【I'm sorry for bumping into you, but you can't die. 】

[Were you planning to commit suicide just now? ]

[No, it's flowers...]

[Flowers and life... Which is more important? ]

Which is more important, flowers or life? Which is more important, flowers or life? Which is more important, flowers or life? Which is more important, flowers or life? Which is more important, flowers or life? Which is more important, flowers or life...

The harsh crackling sound repeated over and over in Shoko Toyokawa's mind, like a broken tape making a distorted electric current sound in a leaky radio.

"No suicide...what does that mean?"

The dark shadows swayed before her eyes again. There was a dead body hanging on the old ceiling fan, a broken body under the tram, and a dirty doll forgotten in the corner of the rental house.

She heard the singing again, and the buzzing of flies around the body.

Noisy.

Xiangzi clutched the clothes on her chest, her breathing became difficult, and the severe headache and sharp tinnitus made everything around her blurry again.

"No, it's flowers, just like last time... but this time..."

"...Then I fell off the overpass, and when I came to my senses I was already in the chapel."

Deng shrank back like a child who had done something wrong, but soon she became firm again.

"It doesn't matter. From now on, I will take responsibility and work hard to protect Xiaoxiang. We will return to our original world together."

"I will protect you, Xiaoxiang, just trust me!"

Sounds... The sounds in her ears became louder, as if many people were talking to her at the same time. Xiangzi could not tell what was real and what was imaginary.

She heard the sound of the lights, the voice of that bastard father, and many more familiar yet unfamiliar voices.

"I will protect you"

【Xiangzi, I will work hard】

"Xiaoxiang, just trust me."

You don't have to do anything

[Is there any problem? ... Xiaoxiang is about to break down. ]

......

So it's like this again?

She was the one who took it upon herself, who misunderstood something, who chose to escape, and who felt that the lamp actually needed her rescue and protection.

[In fact, Deng's death has nothing to do with you. She lives very well in this borderland. She is much stronger than you, more relaxed, and more adapted to this place.]

[You know it now, but what can you, a clown, do? ]

"Your body and soul are tattered, like a broken doll. In the end, you can only become a burden to the lamp, right?"

If you're a burden, you should be aware of it. Just lie around at home and drink like that jerk dad. Oh—never mind that. At least you'll cause less trouble to others, which is better than him.

No...

"You're still denying it now? So, Toyokawa Shoko is... really arrogant and self-centered."

—Something made a shattering sound.

Xiangzi raised his head and gave a somewhat empty smile.

"Okay, I know."

"But Xiaoxiang is indeed very powerful—he was able to defeat that demigod Greg. Even in the Hall of the Round Table, I've never heard of anyone else being able to do such a thing."

"Speaking of which, how did Xiaoxiang come to the border area?"

"Xiao Xiang?"

Deng finally noticed the abnormality and ended the topic of how Xiangzi came to the border.

"...Xiaoxiang, are you okay?"

Xiangzi responded with a hollow smile, his pupils unfocused, not knowing where he was looking.

"Nothing happened. I'm just a little tired and want to rest... I haven't rested in a place like this in a long time."

"Is that right?"

Deng let go of Xiangzi's hand.

"Then Xiaoxiang, have a good rest. The Great Blessing prohibits fighting, so it is absolutely safe here."

This turned out to be the great blessing Melina mentioned. If I could come here earlier, maybe—

The light hadn't completely left the room yet, so it poked its head in through the doorway.

"I'm in the next room."

The girl sat on the bed with her head down, not knowing what she was thinking about.

"I see."

There was a soft sound of a door closing outside, and Xiangzi was the only one left in the room again.

He sat on the bed like this for a long time, until he was sure that the light would not suddenly come into the room again. Xiangzi's eyes moved slightly stiffly and stared at his arm.

She was now wearing only a linen shirt, her armor having been taken off at some point.

"As for the light now...it's OK without me."

"You really can't even understand what I'm saying."

As if offended by the dead man's words, Xiangzi's eyes showed a little more of a living person's feeling.

"...No need. I won't become a burden, ever."

Using the power of blessing, the exiled soldier's light armor appeared on the quilt, and the girl put on the full set of armor like a clumsy puppet.

"Melina, you're here, right?"

The figure of the one-eyed girl appeared beside Xiangzi in the smoke and began to help Xiangzi, who was still not very agile, put on his armor.

"I always."

Melina's voice was the same as before, ethereal and a little cold.

"Get me out of here—"

Melina was stunned for a moment because the Fader grabbed her shoulders from the front. Although they had been working together for a long time, there were not many physical contacts like this.

"Leave, what do you mean?"

Xiangzi raised his head, revealing red circles under his messy hair.

"To Ely Church, or Post Street."

Her voice became unusually hoarse.

"Anywhere... Please, Melina—"

"Let me... forget everything..."

Melina was stunned, then spoke hesitantly.

"Fader, you—"

"Call me Xiangzi, the faded one, the faded one... I'm tired of hearing that, too."

Xiangzi interrupted Melina, and his expression returned to the warrior look that the one-eyed girl used to be familiar with.

"...My goal hasn't changed in the slightest. I will continue to grow stronger until I become the King of Elden."

Melina nodded.

"Very good, I hope you can keep it up."

A golden light of blessing flashed, and Shoko Toyokawa and Melina had left the room.

-

It was already the next morning.

Although the Faded Ones who possess the power of blessing do not need to eat, Gao Songdeng believes that patients still need some food to recover better, both physically and mentally.

Xiangzi's condition was very strange, somewhat like those magicians who were excessively exploring the mysteries of the starry sky, but there were other things that made Deng feel uncomfortable.

In her opinion, Xiangzi's life essence should be the same as hers, at least half of it should have been transformed into source pyroxene - but there is no doubt that Xiaoxiang is still a pure human being.

Although I helped the other party stabilize his physical condition, it would be better to continue observing for a while.

"Xiao Xiang?"

The tray in Deng's hand fell to the ground.

The bed had been empty and cold for a long time.

"...Where did you go?"

Chapter 43 I Will Protect You

"That's really messed up..."

Se Lian looked at the glass tube in his hand. The transparent container contained a tube of bright red liquid that emitted a strange fluorescent light in the dark. It was hard to believe that this was actually the blood of a living person.

The stone table in the basement was cleared and transformed into a small bed. Xiangzi was lying on the stone bed at this time, looking at the blue-green pyroxene crystals on the ceiling.

"Teacher Se Lian, how is my body?"

"The situation is more complicated than I thought."

The witch shook her head, placed the container on the bookcase where she had made some space, and sat back down in the stone chair.

"You ingested an almost lethal amount of pyroxene powder. Even for a faded person, it's a miracle you survived."

"The amount I prepared for you isn't even close to this level... You must have taken the liberty of swallowing a higher-purity pyroxene. Where did the pyroxene you were carrying go?"

Xiangzi did not answer and remained silent.

Se Lian sighed.

"Well, even if you don't admit it, I know... Judging from your blood, you should have turned into something else by now."

"Originite?"

Xiangzi asked, if that was the case, it would be nice, he would become the same as Xiaodeng.

"What you think is beautiful!"

"Source Stone is the fruit of the continuous research of the School of Origin mages. People like you who are too close to the essence of the starry sky, and who have acquired knowledge but have no ability to digest it, will only become a magician's ball!"