I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

Because this seems to be the only novel about knights that I know of.

"what?"

Her face suddenly darkened.

....It seems I said something wrong...

Record her diary

It is common sense that everyone makes mistakes.

However, not all mistakes can be forgiven, and not all mistakes can be eliminated with an apology.

Perhaps it is because of this...that many people do not choose to actively admit their mistakes, because then there is no need to make meaningless apologies.

Well, actually, it's probably to avoid responsibility.

To be honest, if I’m not sure about something, I probably won’t do it, whether it’s an apology, falling in love, or anything else.

Perhaps this behavior can also be called laziness... In short, try to avoid doing things that may not succeed.

However, there are not so many things in the world...or it can be said that there is no such thing as something that will happen 100%, so it is reasonable for me to react calmly to everything.

I'd like to say that, but when I think carefully about what I've done in the past, I'm afraid I haven't always lived by that standard.

So knowing yourself is quite difficult.

Not just me, but this guy I just met.

Chapter 8 records her diary

"Could you please not mention that book?"

Not only his eyes, but even his tone became fierce.

"....Um...."

I was frightened for a moment, so I didn't give a clear answer.

"That book is simply smearing knights, and it's not an orthodox chivalric novel."

This is indeed true... If we judge it from the original perspective, it should be a novel with a spoof nature.

"Well... I just mentioned it casually, you don't have to react so strongly..." I always feel that when she gets angry, she is even more terrifying than Rinquanchuan.

"But... ahem, the author of the book has clearly emphasized this in the acknowledgments, right? Didn't you even read the acknowledgments carefully, or just skipped over it?"

she asked, frowning.

What would she do if she said yes...

"Actually... I didn't look that closely..."

To be exact, I haven't seen much of it, I just have a little understanding of it.

"That won't do. You're being unfair to the author's hard work every day."

Oh... now that you mention it, it's true... I do feel the same way, especially when I'm urged to update, I always think to myself, 'What can I do? I'm so desperate too' and so on.

"Besides, Kyle is described as so handsome and perfect, why can't you just enjoy him?"

...Is this the key point?

Seeing her eyes light up when she talked about the characters she created, I finally understood...

This guy... fell in love with the character he created.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Is it right here? It should be some distance to the residential area, right?"

When we were still not far from my home, I asked to get off the bus, and then the guy I just met, the unknown opponent, asked me this question.

"Yeah, but it's not very far, so I can just walk on my own from now on. Thank you..."

I might as well just say thank you...even though it feels a bit embarrassing.

"It's nothing. Helping others is a virtue. See you next time if we're lucky."

...Ha...will we meet again by chance? Is it just bad fate or something else?

"Oh oh...ok..."

Because he couldn't help but complain in his heart about what she had just said, he was stunned for a moment before responding, but the car had already driven away.

It seems like I was talking to the air just now... What a waste. It was clearly a good intention... I mean my good intention.

On the way home, I couldn't help but think of the girl I just met. Although I didn't know her name, she left a deep impression on me. It would be better to say that even if she gave me her name, I would forget her name because I was so impressed by her as a whole.

Although his personality is not bad, it is not good either... He says that he wants to live his own life, but he actually cares about other people's feelings. And most importantly... that guy actually became attached to the characters he wrote.

I always feel like she's someone I don't want to get to know. Why do these problem students always hang around me?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Finally... home...

Although I didn't walk many steps, the process from the first floor to the second floor felt like a long-distance run for me. With every step closer to the bedroom, I felt more and more tired until I suddenly fell on the bed.

"puff!"

The familiar sound, produced by the sound of the head colliding with the soft quilt, is very soothing.

Ah... In this materialistic and cold-hearted society, only here is there a ray of warmth...

Well, perhaps there are indescribable things that also have temperature.

In short...as long as you can get rid of the guilt of not completing homework after school, you can still enjoy a moment of peace.

...Speaking of which...

I looked at the messy bookcase.

"..." After a moment of silence, I stood up and walked towards the bookcase.

"...Where is it..."

When I was thinking about what happened today, I suddenly remembered that I seemed to have recalled something about my childhood sweetheart.

Although I have forgotten the voice and appearance, I can still remember the events clearly... and I remember them very clearly.

So I wanted to look for anything in my old diary about my childhood sweetheart...

"what..."

It didn't take me long to find the diary, which surprised me a little, considering...the bookcase was in such a mess.

Putting the matter of the bookcase aside for the moment, I opened the diary that looked very tattered and had my name written crookedly on the cover.

Was my handwriting really that ugly before? Although it’s not much better now.

"Um..."

I changed into a comfortable position and lay on the bed.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I have to say... it's quite interesting to look through my old diaries, because I have forgotten a lot of things.

But after reading a few of them, they are basically just a diary, and there is no record of childhood sweethearts at all...

Maybe I remembered it wrongly...

When I had this thought, a diary that was longer than the others caught my attention.

For some reason, the date of this diary entry is not the same as the previous one, but is more than two years different from the previous one.

If I turn the page backwards, it's all blank, as I haven't written any more diaries.

Come to think of it... I can't remember why I gave up writing a diary... Maybe it was because I was lazy...

After calming my thoughts a little, I began to look at that special diary.

There, I quickly found what I was looking for, the story about my childhood sweetheart.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Sheji's...childhood sweetheart?"

After school, I accidentally talked about this to Yehui.

But her reaction seemed a little surprised...

"Hmm... I don't know why, but I suddenly remembered it. To verify it, I even went back to my old diary, and finally found it."

But after reading the content, I couldn't be happy at all.

"About her?"

Ye Hui asked curiously.

"Yeah... it makes me a little sad when I think about it." I hesitated for a moment, "Want to listen to it?"

"Hey? Do you want to tell me? This is what's in your diary." Ye Hui seemed a little surprised.

"It's okay...it's been a long time since then."

I sighed.

"If you listen to me, I might feel a little better."

"...Well...If that's the case...then I'd better listen carefully."

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

"I've always wanted to be a hero, maybe because I watched too many tokusatsu dramas... or maybe it's because I was too naive, but anyway... I just really like to uphold what I believe is justice.

However, this kind of behavior was often not recognized by others and sometimes I would even get scolded, so at that time, I must have been a very troublesome child.

But I still didn't give up and continued to pursue my so-called justice as always.

Then... then as time went on, this behavior was shattered by reality... actually, by the adults... anyway, it was shattered by all these things.

I used to be a helpful guy, but after so many setbacks, I finally couldn’t help myself. One night, I ran to the park, sat on a chair, and looked at the sky. Although I didn’t write it down, I guess I was crying...”

“I don’t think so.”

Ye Hui suddenly added.

"why?"

"It's just a hunch... Besides, heroes don't cry easily, right?"

"Well..." I didn't have anything to refute, so I chose to continue speaking.

"So... my childhood sweetheart came to me at some point and started telling me not to give up on my dream. But I didn't listen. I threw away my favorite hero's mask and ran home without looking back.

Now think about it, would she be scared in the park with no one around?..."

"Of course you'd be scared to be alone in the park at night, especially if you're a girl."

There was always a sense of blame in Ye Hui's words.

"That should be it..."

Thinking about it this way, it was really too much...

"So... Do you think I was stupid back then?"

I asked while looking at Ye Hui, but her expression at this moment was not the same as usual. It seemed more solemn, an expression I had never seen before.

"I don't think your behavior is stupid, Sheji, because I think no matter what choice you make, you have your own reasons, but..."

She suddenly paused, as if waiting for me to ask a question.

"Just...just what?"

I asked subconsciously.

"Are you sure that's really your childhood sweetheart?"

...Wh...what do you mean?