I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"But I'm a completely untalented guy... Short stories are fine, but if you're planning on making a career out of comics, you definitely can't just rely on short stories. And if I were to be in charge of the important plot arrangements, the audience would just feel like, 'All visuals, no substance.' So I'm not the best choice."

...If Ye Hui's talent is called a sword, then a loser like me is not suitable to be a scabbard and cannot bring out his talent at all.

"...So, if you're determined to follow the path I suggested, then you should quickly find a good script writer so that you can fully utilize your drawing skills..."

"If that's the case, then I won't be one."

"....?" What...are you changing your mind now?

"Why?" Of course I was puzzled.

"You're still asking why?" Ye Hui looked a little angry. "It was you who kept telling me to try being a cartoonist, but in the end you refused to even help?"

"...It's not that I don't want to help, but I simply don't have the ability..."

"Liar."

"....." He was interrupted before he could finish his words.

"...I didn't lie to you..."

"You're lying to me, saying you have no talent or anything like that, and that you don't have the ability to organize a long story. You clearly wanted to overturn your previous idea before, and then said that the previous idea was more suitable for a long story. Now you're denying it?!"

"....." Is this true? It seems that there is...

"Um...ah, that was just a casual remark..."

"Ah, Sheji, you're always like this. You evade the crucial point!" She moved closer to me excitedly. "You're just talking to yourself, right? You always sway the conversation to your side... Really..."

"...Feel sorry..."

It seems I was too anxious...

"I'm so angry because you always underestimate yourself... You think you don't have something you clearly possess, and you never think about getting it even though it's clearly within your reach... Really... You have such a troublesome personality..."

"..."

Huh? I'm being called a troublemaker...

"I tell others a lot of truths, but I never tell myself... I'm told to be more confident, but I act like this. Isn't that completely unconvincing?"

"......"

Who says you have to be a good person to reason with others? I just can't do that, but I still have to say it.

"So...don't do this again."

She lowered her head slightly and spoke to me.

"...What?"

"...pretending to know everything and then just making decisions based on your own judgment...this is so reckless, I really, really don't like it."

"..."

I didn't expect things to turn out like this. Could it be that I was really inconsiderate...did I not understand what Ye Hui was thinking at all?

"Well, I won't do that again..."

Probably not.

"...Really?"

She raised her head and asked me, her eyes looking very serious.

"Um... um..." I nodded quickly.

"...Really? My reason for learning to paint is simple. I just think there are so many beautiful things in the world, so I want to use my brush to preserve them. I don't have any special purpose, it's just that simple."

"That's it..."

Then why not just learn photography...Okay, I'd better not ask this question, otherwise it will definitely make her angry again.

"But the students around me who studied so-called art only did so to reduce the academic scores they needed to get into university. The teachers also taught techniques that could be used for grading. In my opinion, it was difficult to connect that with art, and it was certainly a far cry from my original concept."

"..."

Is that why she says she's different from others? Apparently, I misunderstood her.

"Painting isn't just about making it look like the real thing. Many people think a good painting should be as close to the real thing as possible... but such a painting is completely devoid of emotion. In the eyes of an artist, a leaf is more than just a leaf. To me, the gaps between leaves under the light are like stars in the sky."

"......"

"The painting is a medium. It carries the artist's emotions... That's why you can see the blazing upward growth of a sunflower, and the twisted soul in its cry... If the intention from the outset is to show the painting to others, then something will be deliberately hidden..."

"So, I wanted to draw manga, not because I wanted to be a manga artist, nor for any reason other than to win a title. I simply wanted to see if this 'medium' could allow me to express my emotions... so I gave it a try without hesitation. And it's precisely because I recognized your talent that I wanted your help... If I don't have your help with future creations, there's no point. And I won't be interested in getting involved in manga again. Do you understand?"

"...Oh, I see." I nodded quickly.

"But...why did you have to do a love affair for the first time?"

I'm still a little confused about this. If you want to express your emotions, fighting is obviously a better way to let them out... Oh, she seemed to have said that she doesn't like fighting scenes. I wonder if this speculation is correct...

“Well—”

She deliberately prolonged her voice, looking at me while backing away. When she was a certain distance away from me, she turned around, leaving me with only her back with her long hair fluttering.

"I won't tell you~"

...Are you still holding a grudge?

I sighed helplessly, pushed my car and followed.

"Is it because you know you are not capable enough?"

...For the first time, I began to waver in my thinking. "Is this really the right thing to think?" I couldn't help but think this way when Ye Hui lectured me.

"No, no, don't guess randomly."

Maybe the decisions I made before were wrong.

But then again, what is right and wrong?

"...Can't you just tell me like that?"

"Of course not—"

Well, let's put these troublesome things aside for now. Anyway, tomorrow will still be a leisurely and boring holiday.

Agreement and Decision

What is always being promoted is often actually lacking.

People who emphasize how great they are often just don't want to face up to their own mediocrity. People who are conceited actually lack a lot of things, and those who think they know everything have no idea how ignorant they are.

In a world where anyone's words can be easily read online, sparks are bound to fly between self-righteous people. As a bystander, it's more like watching the farce unfold as a joke, rather than just enjoying the fun.

People rarely reflect on their own shortcomings, and even when they do, they find it difficult to acknowledge their real flaws. They often believe that while they're not perfect, they don't have significant flaws. However, when it comes to others, they become unscrupulous, especially in an environment where they aren't held accountable for their words. Naturally, they'll bluntly point out mistakes in others' comments...but they're no better, as they're inherently ignorant and their comments aren't necessarily better than others'.

Therefore, people who don’t want to face themselves, people who are self-important, and people who don’t realize their ignorance always appear on various comment platforms and show their ignorance through comments.

"People's words are not to be trusted"

I believe in this, and I don't even care about the opinions of celebrities, so naturally, I don't take the opinions of anonymous people seriously. Treating it as a joke really makes me laugh... Knowing that there are still so many stupid people in the world makes me feel relieved.

Well, having said that.

Although I advocate giving up in my actions, I still believe in "being careful with my words" in my words.

As the name suggests, it means trying not to reveal anything when speaking, and leaving some room for maneuver and explanation. For example, adding words like "it seems" or "maybe" to make you sound weak actually weakens the subjectivity revealed in your words.

Although it is very useful in most cases... However, after I answered the teacher's question about the formula well, I was asked again whether I had fully mastered it. I then answered "I have mastered it... probably" and was judged as failing because I lacked confidence.

It can be seen that the academic community does not recognize ambiguous conclusions.

"...Just send it here."

My thoughts were interrupted by Ye Hui's farewell words.

"That's it..."

By the time I realized what was happening, I had already followed her downstairs. I had just said everything I wanted to say, as well as everything I hadn't thought to say. So, it seemed like there wasn't anything else I needed to say.

"Then...goodbye."

It's time to go home, even though I still have nothing to do when I get home.

"Yeah~" She waved at me too.

"Oh, right." After I got on the bike, I suddenly thought of something and turned around. "When the results come out, let's go to the bookstore together to buy some comics and check them out."

"Hmm..." For a moment, he showed a helpless reaction.

"Since you say so, Sheji... then, let's just leave it as it is. I have no objection."

"Well, that's settled."

"Goodbye—" "Click—"

"Huhu——"

As my legs began to exert force, the sound of wind gradually began to enter my ears due to the increasing speed.

"I hope that day comes sooner."

After we agreed on a time, this thought suddenly occurred to me. Trying to trace the origin of this slightly familiar line, I couldn't help but connect it to Rinsenkawa's words, "I wish summer vacation would end soon."

Compared to the future, where exciting things will happen, the time leading up to that day seems long and boring. The summer vacation I'd been looking forward to at school turned out to be so dull. It seemed like it was just a break from the constraints of school, but I'd gotten so used to being constrained that even a little freedom felt off... Human habits are truly strange. I can't imagine what will happen once I enter society and completely break away from school.

Come to think of it, there's a reason Rinsenkawa is looking forward to school starting... Bored at home, she's been playing games and doesn't want to talk to Rinsenkawa. Only when she sees me does she finally open up. No wonder she's been so talkative since she saw me. If she doesn't find someone to talk to more, she'll probably become aphasic after summer vacation...

Looking forward to the start of school... It seems that time at home is quite boring for her, and there must be something attracting her at school.

Hmm...did she forget her favorite book in the activity room?

Chapter 34: Promise and Decision

Things that we subconsciously ignore are usually very important.

The answer you immediately deny is often the correct one. This becomes clear after you review your answers on the test paper after the exam. This theory doesn't just apply to exams; in real life, many people inadvertently engage in the above behavior.

For example, when you are preparing to go out of town, you realize that you did not bring your ID card after arriving at the destination. Or, when you know that you have an exam, you still forget all the review content on the day of the exam. Or, when playing games, you always have selective blindness.

In short, people's attention is easily distracted. And the world likes to play tricks on us. When we are trying hard to accomplish something, more things often appear to distract us.

"I'm back..."

The moment I stepped through the door, I realized there was someone waiting for me. Even though I'd promised to be right back, it seemed like it took quite a while. After all, besides running into someone unexpected at the bookstore, I also ran into Ye Hui on the way, talked to him, and walked a fair distance. So, it seemed like the time it took... wasn't exactly "right away."

"Oh, man, you're back? You're so slow. Did you buy the comics I wanted?"

Ye Jin still looked at me lazily.

"You think running errands is easy?" I said, pulling out the comic and throwing it to her. "Catch it."

"Oh~do!"

She straightened up instantly and caught the book with ease. Her motor skills were surprisingly good... a little surprising.

"Speaking of which, is Xiaoye still in my room?" I looked up at the stairs. "If he's still there, I'll go upstairs."

"Ah, well... she's already gone." Ye Jin said as he opened the book in his hand. "Although I asked her to stay for a while, she said something urgent happened. It doesn't seem like a perfunctory excuse. Maybe she really encountered something."

"Ah, is that so..."

Maybe it's the editing job again... I have to say it's really hard work. After all, people who have entered the working world don't have the so-called summer vacation like students, and normal vacations are probably not that many.

"You don't seem too worried... That's your girlfriend's business." Ye Jin seemed puzzled by my nonchalant reaction. "Is it really okay not to ask the reason?"

"She's not your girlfriend. I'm not worried, so why should you be?" I said, staring at her blankly. Then I took out my comic book and said, "If you have the free time, you should take care of yourself."

"How stupid! People who think like that are easily cheated on, you idiot. It doesn't matter if you don't care about your girlfriend, but if someone shows a better and gentler side than you, your place in her heart will of course be replaced."

"..."

While Xiaoye and I weren't truly in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, we were editor-in-chief and author-in-chief. Ye Jin's words were only about our relationship... but if we were to apply them to a real relationship... I, as her author, wasn't completely dedicated, and my work wasn't popular. Over time, she'd become disappointed in me. Then, a promising new author arrived, and I'd take over responsibility for that newcomer...

"I'll be abandoned..."

What then? What kind of editor would come next? The kind who'd push for manuscripts like a creditor? Or the kind who'd keep a 24/7 surveillance camera? And no matter what, there's no way I'd find an editor as young and beautiful as Xiaoye! Please don't send me a middle-aged uncle!

"you're right!"

I threw the book in my hand onto the sofa. This kind of thing really couldn't happen. Even if there was just a possibility, I didn't want it to happen...

"...Please don't shout."