I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

. . . . . . . .

【Lingcunsheji】has been added as a friend

I didn't expect him to add me directly without any verification information. This means he must be online now.

[Hello, are you there?]

"I'm here. Who are you? If we're classmates, could you please tell me today's homework?"

Doesn’t this person even remember the contact information of his classmates?

[I’m sorry I’m not your classmate] I replied.

"No, then how did you know my contact information? You're not a scammer, are you?"

"Whatever you want to sell, I don't have any money anyway."

[I'm not trying to promote you. Do you remember the book you wrote? I also used this nickname as my pen name.]

"That novel? Are you my reader?"

[Yes, I am your loyal fan, but I saw that you haven’t updated for two months, so I wanted to ask when you will come back to update]

"Ah, that was just a passing interest. My main job is still studying. After all, I'm about to enter high school."

Wait, is he only a junior high school student? Although technically he's a high school student... I thought he was already a sophomore or junior.

Will you consider writing again in the future?

“I think this is a bit troublesome so I don’t really want to continue writing, but if you want to read it, I can take some time out of my busy schedule to update more in the near future.”

It works... It seems that even though he delays updating, he still likes readers to read his books...

[Don't force it if it doesn't work]

"I still have confidence that I can do it, and I've already learned most of the recent courses."

[That’s great. By the way, I heard your book was selected to participate in an event that will help raise awareness for your book and may even help you get it published as a physical book.]

"....Why"

Why... Actually, my mother mentioned it yesterday, and I just briefly explained it to him.

[Because your book was quite popular at the beginning, you should have received an invitation to sign a contract.]

"I remember that there was something like that. Wasn't that a lie? So it's true?"

[Yeah, we're all wondering why you didn't sign the contract]

"Oh, it seems I accidentally missed something, but it doesn't seem to be a big deal."

[...After all, we readers all hope that our favorite authors can become more famous.]

"I'm just a mortal..."

[Don’t say that. You are actually very talented, otherwise the editor wouldn’t have said he would publish a book for you.]

“I don’t think I’m that popular right now.”

[They have their own reasons, right? If you’re still willing to write, I wouldn’t mind helping you contact the editor to discuss publishing.]

"I find it a little strange that you didn't lie to me."

[Of course not. I was just asked by the editor to try to find you.]

"Is that so? Then can I think about it?"

[No problem, I'll wait. After all, you have your own freedom.]

"No, I just feel like I don't have the right to do this no matter how much I think about it. Even at school, I haven't talked about this with anyone. It's more like I rarely interact with people. The emotions between the lines seem embarrassing to talk about, so I think it's best to give up."

Give up? How could you even say that?

[Don't give up so easily! We all want you to succeed. And since you've agreed to the update, your popularity will surely return slowly, and then you'll be able to justify accepting this plan.]

"It doesn't matter if I'm famous or not... I just can't find something that suits me. Even though I'm in school now, I feel like this environment isn't right for me."

This...is very similar to me.

[I don’t like school either, and I’ve wanted it to disappear from middle school to high school. Even though I’m a little older than you, I’m already a freshman this year.]

"That's you, Senior."

Looking at the words on the screen, I couldn't help but smile. If I could talk to him in person, maybe it would be more fun.

[Stop joking]

"Well, the reason I don't like school is probably because I can't figure out how people interact with each other, plus the things I've encountered before, I just can't seem to get used to this environment."

[I feel the same way too. I always feel like we have a lot in common. It would be nice if we were in the same city.]

"My home is in City X."

The other party replied to me like this. And I just stared blankly at the screen. This city is the same as mine. We are actually from the same city!

[Me too! ]

The excitement and thrill were clearly transmitted through the fingers onto the keyboard.

[If possible, I wonder if we can meet.]

"If we're destined to meet, it's better for me not to reveal my home address."

[Well...yes.]

It seems he's quite vigilant. But then again, with so many online scams out there, it's crucial to be vigilant.

"I'm going to the kitchen now, let's talk next time."

[Well, I'm going to eat too. Bye.]

The conversation ended abruptly. A strange feeling of melancholy rose in my heart. If only I could actually meet him... I always felt like I could get along with this person.

...........

After thinking about it, I decided to put the lyrics of the previous Good News here to show them. Because the space in Pineapple Circle is not enough for me to post like this.

However, this lyric has no specific music to support it, so everyone can just imagine the form of the music.

Achievement: [Singing to Express Aspirations]

Achievement Description:

Lyrics: Yi Sheji Music: Chao[em]e401686[/em] Yigao Music Society

【Singing】Rinquanchuan and Ling Jiayin

The dark clouds of that night hang over my heart

It seems like rain is about to fall to soak away the longing that has been buried for a long time

Recalling the day we met last year

The warm wind blows up the flying catkins

As light as you

But I can't figure it out

Want to reach out and touch

But I can't make up my mind

I hope the breeze won't blow for no reason at this moment

Blow away the distance between us

The words of farewell were never spoken

Maybe I can avoid the day of separation

When I see an empty desk

I realized you've disappeared

Like the willow catkins flying outside the window, drifting away with the wind

If you run as hard as you can

Can we shorten the distance between us?

How I want to hold your hand

Tell yourself your inner feelings

But my legs can't move

Unable to chase your figure

forgive me

I've long been accustomed to being numb

I don't even have the courage to move my legs.

......................

Today's sunlight comes into view

The shining figure awakens long-forgotten memories

Never thought about meeting again

Yet it came so quietly

Invisible like the wind

But I can really feel

Determined to reach out and touch

And slipped away quietly from the fingertips

It turns out that it is the wind that pushes time forward.

Let everything flow without interruption

I still can't say the words to keep you

It seems that everything has become a foregone conclusion

Can you dance with me?

The night will cover us

Away from the stage full of audiences and lights

With unskilled steps

Trying my best to make up for the numbness at that time

I want to hold your hand

Appearing in the public eye

Ignore the hypocritical lights flickering

Entering your field of vision without permission

Just (na)

I've always been in the shadows

Even touching the warm sunlight will feel hot

[Finish]

Xia Meng

What kind of person am I, and what kind of life do I lead? I still don’t have any answers.

However, what is certain is that I am still living this perfunctorily, moving forward aimlessly on this road with no clear purpose.

Perhaps everyone is a lonely traveler, walking farther and farther on the directionless plain. Looking at the lights in the sky, they flicker like a dying fire in the dark night.

In this wilderness, people can't recognize each other, and even the boundaries of self become blurred. The seemingly unbreakable bond, whether it's a constraint or an impediment, at least gives the lonely a little peace of mind, allowing me and others to struggle to survive with this little comfort.