I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"Then it's settled."

While he was wavering, I ended the topic without permission and walked towards the classroom.

"...Um--"

Anyway, let’s get started.

Episode 2 Sprout

"What do you think is the meaning of flowers?"

Ignoring the teacher's lecture in class and focusing on studying the textbook knowledge points, I kept replaying this sentence in my mind.

If I simply gave reasons like reproduction... that would be too boring. Even if I gave more detailed explanations, it would still be nothing more than emotionless rhetoric.

...Ah, trouble.

If someone asked me, I wouldn't want to respond.

So, when faced with a conclusion that can be obtained by searching for information, who would suddenly ask questions? Questions raised at a specific time naturally have reasons for being raised.

If there are guys who don’t understand, just do a few more reading comprehension questions.

"..."

The rain outside the window hasn't stopped yet.

"It's really troublesome."

He sighed slightly, twirled the pen in his hand, and turned his gaze back to the book.

Looking back, I was too naive back then. I didn't realize what this sentence meant...

It seems so easy to understand now...

When she thinks about herself, and sees something that bears some resemblance to her own experiences, she naturally thinks of herself. So, at that moment, the meaning of the "flowers" she inadvertently asked about was actually the meaning of her own existence.

"........"

Perhaps for her, a flower that has lost its charm will only be forgotten and wither with the changing seasons.

Even in my opinion, she hasn't lost her own beauty...well, whatever.

Perhaps I should just be like that guy, not think about anything... and calmly accept reality. Unfortunately, I can't do that... What I want to achieve is so different from what I thought before, and it's precisely because of that thought that I'm in this situation now... If I had taken action sooner, perhaps this wouldn't be so difficult.

"...Isn't this even more troublesome..."

I don’t know how much time I have left...and there are so many things I need to do to change the things around me.

Well, if it's too simple...it would be too boring.

In short, it was because I kept thinking about that sentence...that I came up with a way to change the situation.

flower...

It was because of that sentence that I was able to think about this... how to describe it? I still haven't found the right adjective.

It attracts attention wherever it is placed. It is one of the most memorable objects... to the point where it can even be called a phenomenon.

“If only it were this way…”

If you succeed, everything will be over.

. ...

...In the end, even now...I still have to rely on you. Over the years, what have I really changed? Apart from my appearance...it seems I haven't changed at all.

"what...."

Subconsciously, I covered my face with my hands.

"...hateful..."

Even though I tried many times, it still didn't work...

The sound of rain has not stopped yet.

. . . . . . . . .

"The books I've been reading lately are quite profound..."

I looked at the cover of the book in her hand and started talking as if I had suddenly noticed it.

"...oh?"

He glanced at me with a hint of disdain, then looked back at his book.

"Because it's a foreign language topic, do you think this is a rather profound book?" His tone returned to a cold tone. "If you have nothing else, please don't bother me. get out of class time is short."

"...Well."

It seems that although she is listening attentively in class, she actually wants to read a book.

"Let's chat for a bit."

Ye Hui, who was behind me, was not around because she was pulled away by Xiao Lin, which also helped me a lot. If she was behind me, I would have brought it up during the club activities.

Come to think of it, for some reason...that girl whose full name I didn't even bother to remember always deliberately tries to distance Ye Hui from me...well, let's deal with this matter later.

"Oh? What do you want to talk about..."

"This book is good." I pointed to the book in her hand.

"Lord of the Flies... Lord of the Flies. Am I right?"

I looked at the beautiful cover and read out the pronunciation.

Come to think of it, she had read quite a few books before... If it weren't for some interference, we would have had a lot of conversations about books after we met... However, what I want now is not the right to have an ordinary conversation.

Come to think of it...it's a bit of a pity.

"...So what?" Her eyes shifted slightly towards me and stayed fixed on me. "Could it be that you feel a bit like me, so you feel a little resonance?"

resonance...

"Could it be that in your eyes... I am a bug?"

"Oh, I didn't expect you haven't forgotten your origin. Perhaps you can really compete with the Lord of the Flies to see who is the root of all evil." She paused for a moment and smiled at me. "Don't worry, I believe you will win."

"..."

What kind of existence am I in the eyes of others?

Well, let's just ignore this.

"Come to think of it, this also seems to have been translated as 'No Regrets in Childhood'."

"I don't like it," she stated decisively. "Let's not even talk about whether it fits the story...just the words 'childhood' and 'no regrets' don't connect with the content."

"...Yeah." The topic seemed to have been opened, because I noticed that the book in her hand was slightly closed.

"To put it in an analogy, it's like covering mashed potatoes with a glaze of cream. You thought it was a sweet, creamy cake, but it doesn't taste bad, but it does taste strange because it didn't meet your expectations."

"Wow... this metaphor is really... weird."

She frowned.

"Well... come to think of it, don't people judge things by appearance? For example..."

"Oh, for example, the braid hanging down the back of your neck...it seems like you're trying to be different..." A look of disgust, "It's a bit stupid."

"..."

Why do people around me care so much about...

"It's just to look organized."

To be a little selfish, I think this hairstyle is very handsome.

"...I don't seem to understand."

Her frown deepened.

"Ahem, if you don't understand, forget it." I abruptly changed the subject. "Well, speaking of it, because some words are used so often in certain contexts, they end up taking on positive or negative connotations... For example, childhood brings to mind the innocence of life, so it tends to be positive. And 'no regrets' is even more appealing. Even if they're a villain, as long as they shout "I have no regrets in my life" when they're defeated, they become very charming."

"...That makes sense." She nodded.

"And the reason you feel it's inappropriate is probably because you think such a positive book shouldn't be paired with a dark story...right?"

"...Heh, I just think the translation is too awkward."

“…”

"Consistent in substance and appearance, unpretentious and unpretentious... I think this is what a book should be." She averted her gaze and unfolded the book in her hand again. "A classic should be like this, otherwise, what's the difference between it and those light novels with fancy titles?"

"..."

It seems that I have gained a little bit.

If we infer people from things...the things that Rinsen River has been thinking about should be about the problems of "people".

"...Well, don't worry too much about the title or content of the book."

"...?"

"As long as you open it, you will definitely find the answer."

绽华

People will seek benefits and avoid harm. Even if they are not taught, they will still follow their instincts to do so.

In my opinion, words like "brave" and "facing things head-on" are like mental anesthetics. It is often because of these factors that people who claim to be bright will be at a loss after encountering setbacks.

Since the greatest purpose of human beings is to live, why should we refuse to make our lives easier in the name of hypocrisy? After all, it is natural to avoid things that we are not good at.

She probably just kept running away.

“Instead of worrying about the title, you can actually just open the book and read the contents to find out whether you should continue reading or not.”

Wasting time on unnecessary knowledge is foolish... There are always people who pass off trivial bits of knowledge as wisdom. In my eyes, they're just faceless men.

"...Oh? I'm not the kind of guy who just browses in a bookstore."

"Well, I can imagine." Given her personality, she would probably just buy anything she liked... "But I think I saw you in a bookstore not long ago during the summer vacation."

"...Are you...are you trying to get close to me? You must have made a mistake."

Although the reason is unclear, she seems to refuse to admit it.

No wonder, what I just mentioned was completely different from what she had just expressed. In other words, she would probably disdain it for others, but for someone like me, it was worth "reading through." And I knew the reason... A little thought would reveal the specific details.

However, there is one thing I cannot understand.

What was the beginning of everything...

"Uh-huh...why are you staring at me like that?"

Maybe because he was distracted while talking to her, his tone started to become a little impatient.

"Well, I just suddenly remembered something." In short, now is a good time to bring up this topic.

"...What is it?"

"Come to think of it, Izumi, do you still remember what you did to me the first time?" Thinking about it, it seems like it happened a long time ago, and it doesn't seem to have happened to me. Well, this kind of thing seems difficult to judge.

"Izumi...you...what are you talking about..."

"Don't you remember?" I pretended to remind him and stretched out my right hand. "Weren't you holding my hand and looking at something at that time?"

"Well!"

As if hitting the bull's eye, her previously cold eyes suddenly lit up... Ah, that doesn't seem quite right, but I can't find the right words to describe it. For example, it's probably like the feeling of having your dark past suddenly brought up.

"You remembered it wrongly, absolutely!"

She had no time to pay attention to the book in her hand, and she slammed her hand and the book on the table, making a loud noise.

"..."

It seems that the shame of being exposed is greater than being the focus of everyone's attention for a short time.

"Well... if you don't want to mention it, then I won't mention it."