I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"...Hmm... Well, that's true. But I don't have any weird thoughts, and I certainly didn't do anything. I was just saying it!"

It sounds like an admission of guilt.

But Ye Hui naturally wouldn't care.

"So, what were you talking about?"

"This...this..."

Thinking of Ye Hui's previous instructions, Lin Chenru, who vaguely felt that she had done something wrong, couldn't help but become nervous... No, perhaps feeling guilty would be a more accurate description.

“...Xiao Lin....”

"...Um, um...Calm down and let me explain."

"Could it be..." Ye Hui, who had already guessed it, finally couldn't help but want to verify his guess, "Xiao Lin...did you tell him about it?"

"Well...."

Although there is some hesitation.

But Ye Hui still saw it, and Xiao Lin nodded slightly.

嫉绮

"Is that so... You did tell him after all..."

While muttering to himself, Ye Hui was also thinking rapidly. What on earth had he done?

"But...but, there's no need to worry at all." Lin Chenruo said inexplicably nervously, "Well, from what I observed, that guy didn't do anything at all, and in the end he didn't help at all..."

"No...that's not right."

She knew that he was definitely not that kind of person. He could never remain indifferent to what he had experienced.

The apparent calmness is actually just repression.

Although I was worried that he would go to argue with those people without hesitation after finding out...but now it seems that he has been hiding his inner thoughts without letting me know, which seems even more terrifying.

"No? But... it seems to me that he really didn't do anything. You two went home together after school... and he acted as vice-class monitor every day as if nothing had happened. He didn't seem to care about your trouble at all."

"Let's put this aside for now... can I ask you in more detail?"

Ye Hui didn't care about Xiao Lin's words.

In fact, she was not very clear about how he was achieving his goals.

"Hmm... well, it's possible..."

"So. When did you tell him?"

"...big, probably a few weeks ago." She couldn't remember the exact time, "I just felt that the new semester couldn't be the same as before...so I wanted to do something for you."

"But I don't need any help..."

"I do not believe."

Lin Chenruo, who never contradicted Ye Hui, seemed like a different person this time.

"...Xiao...Lin?"

"Why, why are you the only one who gets treated like that? You're such a kind person."

"..."

"Why do others turn a blind eye to this? Why, why do you, the homeroom teacher, clearly a teacher, still not take this seriously?"

"..."

"I just... I just want you to be happier. When you're with that person, you don't have to pretend that you're having an easy time at school..."

"....ah."

“Actually, I’m really happy when I’m around him.”

Ye Hui, who wanted to say this, finally took it back.

"But, did I still do something bad after all?"

"I don't understand..."

After all, I'm only good at some taijutsu. It's completely useless, and I've only been making things worse... Am I really, like that annoying guy said, a useless person?

Thinking of this, Lin Chenru suddenly felt as if the corners of his eyes were getting hot, and the scene in front of him became blurred.

"Eh...strange..."

why...

"Sorry, Xiao Lin."

"..."

"It seems that I care too much about his affairs." Along with the gentle words, Lin Chenru felt himself being gently pulled into her arms.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... Maybe I should have asked him for help from the beginning... or something." Even now, she was still struggling with it. But it was no use thinking about it now, because there was no chance of contacting those people anymore.

"But he is also a very worrying person."

In short, he is a person who is so fragile that he can only pretend to be strong.

"I've been thinking about him all the time, but I've neglected the people who care about me." His hand gently stroked Lin Chenruo's head. "So, there's nothing wrong. Everything you did was right."

"You're not wrong."

Whether she was using her thin body to block me, or trying to drive away those evildoers with an angry look on her face...she was doing things that others did not have the courage to do.

"So, stop crying..."

As usual, the setting sun fell into the classroom and shone on the two of them.

"But...but...after hearing that those people had quit the club, I was actually still feeling lucky..."

Fortunately, I don’t have to feel guilty about my incompetence anymore, and the trouble is over.

"Isn't this a normal thing? Feeling happy for a friend who's out of trouble means you haven't done anything wrong."

"......"

That's not right. It's obviously not like that.

My own thoughts were clearly more extreme... They were clearly thoughts of shirking responsibility.

"Don't blame yourself anymore. You've done something that no one around me has ever done, and no one has the courage to do."

He hugged himself with his arms, as if increasing the strength.

"So, I'm also very lucky to have met someone like you."

“…Mmm…Mmm…Mmm…Waaaaaa——”

What kind of mood is emerging at this moment?

"Eh? Did I say something wrong? Why are you crying so hard...um..."

Perhaps it would take a long time for Lin Chenruo, who was crying, to understand.

Chapter 15: Jealousy

"You really said something quite excessive in a serious manner..."

Out of habit, I hate those unconditional adjectives...but they appeared in his previous sentence.

"It absolutely cannot exist"

The inexplicable words seemed to have touched my nerves.

"Do you think the school is yours or something... You're saying it's completely forbidden, but do you really have the right to exist in that classroom? From what I know, most of the people in that class don't really like drawing, just idle away all day, and have absolutely no goals." I know this because I've spoken to them one by one. "Could it be that those people are meant to be there?"

"Yes, it's just as you said."

To be honest, I really wanted to beat up the guy who was pushing his glasses while responding, but my physical condition is not good enough, so I can only think about it.

"It sounds rather illogical, but that's the truth... Even in a class, there are students who enjoy... no, there are students who don't dislike studying, or who don't want to study, right? So, the presence of those people isn't abnormal at all."

"...Then what on earth did Yehui do to make you come to that conclusion?"

Ultimately, he still didn't say anything that mattered to me.

"Don't be so anxious. I need to make my position clear first, and then I can give my reasons." After a slight pause, he said, "Speaking of which, what do you think the school is for?"

“Isn’t it about teaching and educating people?”

This is the standard answer, but I personally don’t really believe it.

"Well, that's logically true. You seem to have some concerns, so you gave such a standard answer... Well, that's understandable." He pushed his glasses again. "But you've also noticed, or rather, you're thinking this way, right? It's not just us. Almost all schools nowadays prioritize enrollment rates. Teaching is the main thing, while nurturing people is secondary, perhaps even negligible... Whether they're nurturing pillars of society or those who will later use their knowledge to harm society is of no concern to the school... As long as we can increase the number of students who go on to higher education, that's all that matters, isn't it?"

"..."

"Injecting utilitarianism into education has led to a distorted educational system. We are all deeply involved in this, and most people are unaware of it. Well, it's already a rare achievement that we are aware of this... But this problem is simply impossible to completely solve, as I'm sure you understand."

"Well, go on."

There is no fluctuation in my heart.

"So... this club exists to improve admission rates. I don't need to elaborate on this point. I'm sure you've heard about the advantages of arts students from various channels. For students with mediocre grades, it's undoubtedly a shortcut to higher-level schools."

"...Um, so what?"

"So, what we need is people who have this mindset... Even if they don't like painting at all, it doesn't matter. As long as they have the desire to enter university through this method, they can exist in that club or classroom."

"That..."

"And Yehui-san."

After repeating it so many times, I believe he has realized what I want to ask.

"Her position is strange. At least for us."

“…”

"I think the reason she was able to join the club was probably her superb drawing skills... Without much instruction, she has a very high chance of getting into a very good school. Schools that prioritize high admission rates won't want to miss out on a student who can achieve such impressive results without putting in too much effort. Who knows, maybe we'll see her name on a banner someday, becoming one of the school's top students."

“…”

"Well, if she were the obedient type, it would be fine. Unfortunately, although she's usually very gentle and easygoing, she's quite stubborn when it comes to painting... How should I put it? She seems to have a set of ideals that she doesn't want to express, and these ideals are incompatible with our environment."

"..."

"What we need is constant repetition. The content of the practice is entirely for passing the college entrance examination... It requires constant repetition and is extremely boring. Those who don't like painting very much see everyone repeating the same thing, and even if they feel lazy, they don't complain. But Yehui doesn't have to repeat such boring things... because her basic skills are very solid."

"But how could those people pay attention to such things? All they saw was others practicing boring things, while she herself didn't. So their laziness was justified... So for quite a long time before, those people were quite difficult to manage."

"...Oh."

"And her talent is quite outstanding... Even students whose abilities are below hers are far inferior to hers. Do you know what this means? Those students who have worked hard since childhood, when they see that their efforts are nothing compared to others, they instantly don't want to continue painting."

"......"

"It's because of her existence that the art club and painting classroom, which had been going on for a long time without any changes, have become quite strange."

"..."

"Now you understand why she can't exist there."

愠意

"Then I'll be leaving first... Be careful on the road."

After saying these words that did not quite reassure her, Lin Chenru said goodbye to Ye Hui at the intersection.

"Well, see you tomorrow."

Tomorrow will be like usual... She hoped so, looking back at the school. The school, seemingly deserted at first glance, looked different under the setting sun.

It's really beautiful, I want to record it.