I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"........"

His head naturally tilted to one side, and then coincidentally, his eyes met Rinsenkawa's.

"...Don't look over here, it makes me sick."

"..." He is still as disrespectful as ever.

"...Hey, Miss Rin." I pretended not to hear what she just said, "What is happiness to you?"

"...The creature called Isaji can disappear from this world, never appear by my side again, and never be able to speak to me. This is the greatest happiness for me."

"..."

Such ruthless words... I'm almost used to them, but I still hope Miss Rin can curb her talent for this a little.

"I... seem to be losing track of what I need. I don't even know why I'm alive... let alone understanding the meaning of happiness... The more I think about it, the more exhausted I feel."

"...Then how about you just shut up and engrave the contents of the textbook into your brain, which is as simple as a single-celled organism."

"...In short, just study hard?"

"Oh, if you want, you can follow your own habits and eat the book."

"...Ah, sorry. I won't bother you anymore."

She seemed to be memorizing her lessons, so casually chatting with her like this would only make her angry. All she had to do was turn her head to the side and face the wall.

"...I've already memorized it. If you have any silly questions, I can answer them for you."

"That being said." He turned his face away from the wall, which had just been facing it for a short while. "But there's no way there's an answer to this kind of thing."

"I really don't know how to explain how a fool like you can be happy."

"..."

"But for me, happiness is actually very simple. All I need is to be with the people I love and to be able to read books without any worries every day."

"...In other words, your future husband will support the family, and you will stay at home?" What's the difference between this and me saying that someone will support me in the future, and then playing games unscrupulously.

"I always feel like you are slandering me."

But isn't that what you meant...

"...Well. But Miss Rin, do you really have someone you like?"

"Why not?"

He refuted me lightly. To be honest, it still surprised me.

"...Well, it's nothing. I thought you had no interest in love like me."

Now it seems that I am indeed different from the people around me. Perhaps compared to Yao Qiong, I am the one who is more abnormal.

Signposts aren't the only things that guide the way.

"Our lives come from the God who controls the entire universe. Without this, you and I would be nothing more than a handful of dust drifting in this desolate place."

"Then let me ask you this: stars, the stars that spread light throughout the universe... if you can't explore the end of the universe, and simply burn out your life in a fixed place, aren't you even less valuable than the dust in the universe?"

"OK, that's enough—"

I curled the script into a trumpet shape and held it to my lips. Then, I shouted to the two people performing, "Remember this feeling. The conversation between the planets and the stars isn't simply anger, but an argument. The planets' tone needs to be infused with a hint of sadness and a sense of injustice."

The two looked at me and nodded.

"Let's stop here for today. Thank you all for your hard work." After glancing at the time, I announced this.

There were only a few minutes left before the club activities ended. With the days getting shorter, leaving school early had almost become the default rule for all clubs.

"You've worked hard too—" "See you tomorrow, Sheji-senpai." "See you tomorrow, junior—" "Isn't Sheji-senpai going on stage?" "...He doesn't like acting." "And he's taught us a lesson before..." "Wow, is this true..."

It seems that my glorious deeds will be passed down here... I wish it hadn't been so conspicuous at the time.

"It seems like you're almost fitting in here..." Senior Sun said, handing me a cup of hot tea. "Your teaching style is different from mine... But since this is the story you came up with, it shouldn't be wrong to follow your ideas."

"That's not necessarily true. A good writer isn't necessarily a good director." I retorted, noticing the other members who were leaving were saying goodbye, so I couldn't help but respond, "See you tomorrow, see you tomorrow~"

"See you tomorrow--"

After watching everyone leave, the senior finally breathed a sigh of relief. "Come to think of it, Yun Zi told me some time ago that she has always liked me. And I also learned from her that you have noticed it for a long time, but you didn't tell me about it."

"..."

What is this, a complaint? I studied his expression uncertainly.

"How on earth did you, who has never been able to leave helpless people alone, resist helping her? I'm actually very curious about this."

"...Maybe it's because she didn't ask me for anything like that."

Even if I were to ask for her help, I'd definitely be rejected. Senior Lu Yunzi has a strong sense of self-esteem, I know that... but he just lacks decisiveness when it comes to love.

"...What if she had told me earlier..."

"Who knows." There are no ifs in the world.

"Perhaps I wouldn't have gone to see you during the summer vacation, and I wouldn't have met Hui again. I might have ended up with Yun Zi, and still felt I had no talent for writing... My fate might have been completely changed just like that."

"...Is it really that exaggerated?"

Even though he gave a light-hearted response, he actually felt deeply touched inside.

"Of course. I could give you many more examples like this... If we hadn't met in the bookstore, you and I wouldn't have had any connection, and you wouldn't have stood up when the club was not united... Not to mention what happened later. All of these changes are because of you."

“…”

Is it all because of me?

"It's not just me. Everyone around you should have the same idea. Ever since they met you, their lives have changed."

"...but I don't want them to change."

"That's impossible. People always change. Even if you don't try to change them, someone else will eventually do it." After a brief pause, "The direction you've chosen has always been correct, so I'm very grateful to you... If you hadn't come to help, even if I had met Hui, there would still be misunderstandings, and we would have parted ways on bad terms."

"..."

"You're more like a signpost than a candle, truly... You're only a rough guide, but if a lost person follows the path you point, they'll most likely be on the right track."

It seems like someone has made a strange analogy again.

Chapter 32: Signposts aren't the only things that guide the way

In the end, I decided to make my current time a little more fulfilling.

"I might have to go to the drama club to be busy for a while for the cultural exhibition." During the break, he wrote a script while applying to Miss Lin who was standing next to him.

"Isn't that great? If you can convince them to cooperate with our club, I'll let you go."

This request is really...

"...Then how about sponsoring the props? That way, the drama club's ticket revenue can be allocated to our club, and we can use that money to pay for our mission."

All sales from the cultural exhibition had to be reported, and clubs with higher rankings would receive larger budgets. Although some of the funds were generally taken by clubs that didn't live up to their reputation, at least 40% of the quota still went to ordinary clubs.

However, the tea ceremony club has no shortage of budget, and it does this simply to avoid the embarrassing ranking last.

"...I don't even care about that kind of income."

"..."

By the way, if you performed a show the previous year and it received a good response, you can be exempted from the competition and may even receive a medal.

"Then go get another medal."

"...That's easy to say, why don't you go."

“I can’t sing.”

I'm glad we were able to resolve it smoothly last year. This year, without Rin Hanekawa's interference, I might as well not participate at all.

"Speaking of which, if you help the drama club like this, won't they give you any benefits?"

Why did he reveal the face of a profiteer at this time?

"Given my friendship with my seniors, there's no need to put forward any conditions."

"...Your behavior is typical of turning your elbow outward—"

Having said that, where else can your elbows go if not outwards...

"Just relax a bit this year. Don't worry about rankings or anything like that... after all, your sister isn't pushing you to do anything. Just look at the fruits of others' labor and then complain about them."

"...Actually, you're just afraid of trouble."

"...That being said, there's really nothing much to show for the tea ceremony..."

"Well, it's nothing actually." Miss Lin suddenly coughed twice. "Thinking about it carefully, it's okay if I don't participate."

"Oh, it's so nice of you to understand how tired I am."

"But...when the cultural exhibition comes, you have to go with me."

"No problem. Not to mention taking you for a walk, it's okay to bring a few more people." He responded casually.

"How many more people do you want to bring? Of course, just me is enough." His face seemed to be filled with anger.

"...Oh."

Anyway, it’s better to agree to her first.

............

Although it felt like a long time had passed, it was actually only about three days since we last met.

"Compared to Xiao Hei, I still think calling her Xiao Hua is more suitable."

After all, the fur color is not solid.

Wait a minute, let's assume it's from the same school as us. If it's called Xiaohua, then can we call it "Xiaohua classmate"?

Well, I was just kidding.

She will definitely still stubbornly call it Xiao Hei... I couldn't help but sigh as I gently stroked its fur.

However, the reason why she stubbornly called this guy Xiao Hei was probably because what happened at the time had dealt her some blow... Although I don't know exactly what that blow was, I can feel that it was probably caused by the first time she knew what death was.

When something important to you disappears due to "death," it leaves an indelible mark on your young heart. Without guidance, it's likely to lead to a change in mindset.

"...even though I haven't changed much..."

"You are here today, Sheji."

"Oh, I was sick a few days ago and didn't come to school. And the teacher was watching very closely, so it was very difficult for me to escape this time."

Actually, I came out today just to see her and check on her situation. Then I told her that I had something to show her at the cultural exhibition.

"Great... I thought you wouldn't see me anymore."

"How could that be? You are not my enemy, why should I hide from you?" This guy thinks too much.

"That's great... How should I put it, I feel relieved to see you in person again."

"..."

This guy's straight balls always fly towards me for no apparent reason, and I don't know how to respond.

"Come to think of it, you've been to my house once before, right? Back then, my family didn't really understand you and even kicked you out... Well, I want to apologize to you on behalf of my family."

"Oh, that thing..."

I thought they wouldn't let Yao Qiong know. Although it's good to clear up the misunderstanding, Yao Qiong's apology makes me feel uncomfortable.

"It's okay. I wasn't a good student anyway. It's only natural that I'm suspected." And, most importantly... "Besides, I was also wrong in one aspect. Actually, there's nothing abnormal about you, Yao Qiong."

"Eh? But you clearly said before..."

"That's speculation. Anything you say without a clear understanding... is just a hypothesis. It's wrong to say that your experience is strange compared to others..."

I need to take back what I said before... I can't let her realize that she's different from everyone else. If I keep dwelling on this, she might become even more confused.

"But...I do have some differences from others."

"I have it too. Everyone has differences... but that doesn't make someone abnormal."

Even if it was just a lie, I didn't want her to be crushed by the harsh reality. If forgetting the past would bring happiness, why did I have to tell her the truth and make her recall the past?