I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"...Your request is too unreasonable." But I still did it. After all, my luck was there. Even if she didn't deliberately let me lose, I would have lost anyway. "What good does this do for you?"

"Nothing... I just thought it was funny to see you in such an awkward state~"

"You are really great..." Other than that, there was no other words to praise her.

"Then let's start implementing the next plan."

"...Why are you in such a hurry? I see you really enjoy playing with that group of people. Why don't you just continue playing until the afternoon?" It always feels a pity to end it so abruptly.

"That's impossible... I have very little free time. For me, I really can't waste any of it."

"...Is that enough?"

I couldn't help but wonder, and I couldn't help but say it out loud... because I was really curious about what Rin Hanekawa's state of mind was right now.

"Well, seeing them so serious is enough~"

"..."

It was obvious that she was deliberately avoiding talking about her own feelings. I was clearly asking about her current mood, but she deliberately responded by focusing on that group of people.

"Oh, forget it... What's your next plan? Tell me quickly." It's not easy to find good people who will cooperate with others in such cold weather.

"I'd better not tell you now." When she said this, a hint of conspiracy flashed in her eyes. "You should know it clearly by then."

"...Are you going to sell me out?"

"Even if it's human trafficking, no one would want someone like you even if you were offered money, right? Or do you want them to take away your liver or kidney?"

"Forehead..."

"Don't let your imagination run wild. Just follow me."

. . . . . . . . . .

A playwright once said this.

I can't quite remember it, but the gist of it seems to be... If someone reveals a side of themselves you've never known existed, they're probably just acting. If it's not acting, then it's just how they act. If it's still not acting, then it means they're done with you.

Yes, the playwright is me. And this sentence is something I just came up with... As for the reason, my mind is still too confused to clearly understand what I am going through.

"Today I invited an older brother, he is very good at telling stories~"

"..." Although I wasn't prepared, I was sure that the big brother that Rin Hanekawa was talking about was me. And why did she introduce me like that? Because she was talking to a group of kindergarten students.

So the question is, since it is a holiday, why are there students in the kindergarten?

"Boarding is available here... although children of this age do need their parents to spend more time with them. But the reality is that busy working parents simply can't take care of their children on their days off, so they have no choice but to send their children to boarding school."

"..."

The person in charge said that he had worked at the Rin family before quitting due to family reasons. He then took a job here as a kindergarten teacher. Although he's not exactly a teacher...

"And when Miss Rin heard I was here, she came to visit me. Knowing that the children here still stayed here on their weekends and had nothing to do, she often took time out to come here and play with them... Although she always gave people the impression of being unapproachable, she was very gentle with children."

“…Eh…”

She was such a person. If I didn't know about her because she was hiding herself... then she was too clever at hiding it. But thinking about it carefully, I never laid eyes on her, so how could I possibly know about her actions? I couldn't possibly understand what was going on in her mind when she did these things.

"Doing handicrafts? But my sister didn't bring any materials today~"

The look on her face when she interacted with the children was truly like seeing a stranger. Her smile was even as good as Ye Hui's, and it gave the impression that she wasn't the type to be calculating or commanding.

"...Everyone be obedient~ I will let big brother tell you a story now." As she clapped her hands, the children quickly returned to their seats.

"...This is too obedient."

"Maybe it's because they all like Miss Rin. Children like people who play with them."

"....Play with them?"

It suddenly occurred to me that I had been playing along with her, but now it seemed as though she had been playing me in circles.

"Then, please give a round of applause to welcome the best storyteller, Yi Sheji!"

"The young lady is calling you." She patted my shoulder. "I should also go prepare lunch for the children. Just think of it as helping the young lady. Don't be bothered when you are with them."

"...I'll do my best..."

I can see them playing by standing at the door of the room nearby, but they can't see me.

Although she handed me a picture book on the way here, I am not yet proficient enough to tell the story vividly.

"Thank you. Although the young lady keeps saying that this is what she wanted to do and doesn't need thanks... I still want to thank her. Without her, the children wouldn't be looking forward to their day off so much. Of course, my thanks also include you, who came with her to bring happiness to the children."

“…That’s too polite…”

I just arrived and haven't done anything yet.

"Islamic State——! Islamic State——!"

I wanted to say something else, but the shouting outside was getting louder and louder, so I had to come out.

"Ah...what a hassle."

Oh, no, no - now I need to set an example with these kids who are still in their budding stage, so I'd better save this negative attitude for junior high school.

"...Well..."

What would be the best way to make an appearance?——For a moment, I really couldn't think of a suitable answer.

谬赞

"So, after traveling through all the fantastical kingdoms, the brother and sister finally collected the legendary blue bird."

At this point, all the children in the room smiled. As immature as they were, picture books with simple storytelling could still capture their attention.

"..."

Meanwhile, Rin Hanekawa beside him was also listening with great interest, looking completely absorbed in it. I couldn't think of a reason for this.

She clearly handed me the picture book and asked me to tell it, so why did she react like she was reading a story for the first time... Could it be that she hadn't read the story at all? That shouldn't be the case. Back in junior high, our winter break homework was to read the book and write a review... Wait, did those people just copy a review online and never read it? No wonder they all hemmed and hawed when I casually asked them what they thought of the book. I thought they'd forgotten the plot, but now I think I've solved a case by accident.

"What happened next? What happened next?" "Did the little girl next door see the blue bird?" "Yes, yes—"

Ah, it seems that I have spent too much time reminiscing about the past, and I accidentally paused the story.

"Well..." He coughed twice, "After being caught, those bluebirds either changed color or lost their lives. In the end, they still didn't get the real bluebird."

"Huh? How could this happen?"

"...Yeah, how could that be? This means that even if success is just one step away, no one can guarantee that it will be truly achieved. Things that appear to be successful are often not real."

"...Big Brother, I don't really understand." "I don't really understand either." "Are those bluebirds fake?"

"...When you grow up, read more books and then look for this story again, and you will naturally get the answer."

In the past, when I encountered something I didn't understand, I would casually ask questions. But nine times out of ten, I would end up being told, "You'll understand when you grow up." Every time that happened, I would feel resentful, thinking that was just a kid's trick.

But now, as I've grown older, I've truly come to understand those truths. These things truly can't be explained in a few words. Even if I could explain them, it wouldn't be as memorable as gradually understanding them myself.

"...I see." "How can I grow up quickly?"

"Eat more...eat more, don't be picky about food...it should be fine."

Although I didn't do this when I was a child, as an older brother, it is natural for me to teach children this way...ah, finally I have become the person I used to hate.

"However, growth is indeed a long process. Simply eating more can only make the body grow faster... but just growing taller without understanding anything in the heart is not enough."

Ultimately, I decided not to just give them a couple of sentences about their definition of "growing up." Even though it was just a spur-of-the-moment decision, I wanted them to become independent thinkers.

"...Then what do we need to understand?" "Yes." "What exactly do we need to understand?"

"You'll have to find the answer yourself. There are many things in this world that many people can't figure out." Even though many people have tried to find the answer, they haven't been able to find it. Perhaps I'm one of them.

"Well, let's focus on the next story. We're almost done with the search for the blue bird."

Chapter 20: Praise

I once read "The Blue Bird" in its entirety, though the content seemed more like a fairy tale. The various lands depicted in the book certainly captured my imagination when I was in junior high. However, I couldn't, as I had in elementary school, imagine experiencing the same experiences as the protagonists.

From this perspective, the process of growing up is to gradually recognize the cruelty of reality and convince yourself to become numb to it.

I don't know whether young lions will feel sympathy when facing dying prey, but I am sure that when they grow up, they will bite off the prey's trachea without hesitation.

Adults, despite their diverse occupations, share certain commonalities in their ways of thinking. At a certain age, one suddenly finds oneself dreading growing up... One doesn't want to bow to such realities, abandon past innocence, or be hurt by the seasoned adults—yet despite these reluctances, the torrent of time keeps pushing one forward.

"Ah... I'm so tired."

Looking at this group of young children, I can’t help but think of my past self and how they will have to face reality in the future.

Elementary school, middle school, college...it feels like such a long time, but it also seems like a fleeting moment. I once scoured bookstores across the city looking for comic books, rushed to the arcade as soon as I got a little money, and secretly turned on the game console when no one was home...

My past self seems to be very close to me, so close that it seems as if it has been following me with unsteady steps; but I still feel that it is very far away from me, because no matter what, time cannot go back to the past.

"You really are a good storyteller."

"...Please don't disturb me when I'm daydreaming."

I don't want to agree with her praise. It's just retelling a story that someone else has already created, which is far from being storytelling.

I was swinging casually on the swing at the kindergarten gate, and didn't notice when Rin Hanekawa sat on the swing next to me.

Even though I didn't look at her directly, I could tell from my peripheral vision and the sound of the chain that she and I were swaying alternately, one in front and the other.

"I've been waiting for you for a few minutes. I saw you were in a daze for too long, so I disturbed you."

"...So what's next?"

Since she came looking for me, it probably means she doesn't have much free time left today. So, I have to get up from the swing with regret... I haven't played on this kind of ride much since elementary school, and now that I do, I actually feel nostalgic.

"Don't be so anxious—the children haven't had enough fun with us yet. Let's wait until dinner time to leave."

"..." I was silent for a moment after hearing this suggestion, "So, what time is dinner here?"

"It's half past six, and there are still five hours until we arrive."

"...Have all the kids gone for their naps?" I glanced at the gradually deserted classroom behind me and suddenly remembered something. "Speaking of which, we haven't had lunch since leaving Liu Yan's house. How about we find a place to eat together now?"

"Oh, I thought you weren't hungry."

As if the topic had just gotten on the right track, a smug look finally appeared on her face.

"What? So you're so eager to interrupt my daydreaming because you're starving too..." From this perspective, being a respectable person is really a hassle. Even something as trivial as being hungry can't be brought up to others. "Well, then, come with me. There's a restaurant nearby that I frequent... if you don't mind."

"You've put a lot of effort into dressing yourself up today, so there's nothing I should dislike about you."

"So, all the points of dislike are on me..."

Well, forget it. I'm not a very likable guy anyway, so considering we were classmates (from the same school), you were very polite of me not to refuse.

"I don't mind you, actually..." she replied, fiddling with her phone. "I just think you should take better care of yourself."

"..."

"What's wrong with you?" Seeing that I seemed stunned, she asked out of curiosity.

"No...nothing."

. . . . . . . .

"Ah, it's so warm~"

Perhaps this was the advantage of the small shop; the temperature inside was much higher than outside. The shop, which looked like it could only seat ten people at most, was now empty of customers, save for a middle-aged man clearing away dishes.

"Oh, you're here again, little brother." After noticing the two people coming in, he greeted them enthusiastically, "Ah, and you brought a little girl with you. Is she your girlfriend?"

"No, no, she's my senior." To prevent Rin Hanekawa from making a deliberate misunderstanding, I responded first, "We just happened to meet on the road, so she came here because of my introduction."

"Oh, so... please sit down. What would you like to order?" It seemed like a casual question just now.

"I'm still the same as usual..." I handed the menu to Rin Hanekawa, but she didn't take it.

"Then I want to do the same as my junior."

The uncle nodded, lifted the curtain and walked into the kitchen.

"You haven't looked at the menu yet...what if the food doesn't suit your taste?" I was a little worried whether she could finish it.

"It's okay. If you can eat me, I can too." Then he changed the subject, "But I didn't realize you're such an expert at lying."

"...I don't think that's really a lie." Even so, I still looked away guiltily at the table to the side. "I just didn't feel the need to tell everyone everything, so I just said we met on the street."