I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

制束

What is the so-called ordinary? Can we classify people as ordinary simply because they have not achieved success or fame? That would be too arbitrary.

The reason why I had this idea was actually because of myself.

Because I feel that I am actually just an ordinary person.

Yet, in the eyes of others, I am a more special person than others. This is something I had never considered. However, after quickly reflecting on my own experiences, I feel that it is not wrong. After all, it is impossible for others to have experienced all of these things.

However, I haven't experienced everything others have. Does that mean that the people I once thought were ordinary weren't actually ordinary, but I just didn't notice their unusual qualities? Or perhaps it means that there are no ordinary people in the world, or that everyone is ordinary.

"Don't you think that the reason you think the people around you are ordinary is simply because you don't understand what they've been through?"

I raised my doubts to Feng Rongqing in front of me.

However, she was not bothered by this question. She hesitated for a moment and then a smile appeared on her face again.

It seemed that she had already figured out the answer.

Chapter 23: Restraint

It was the end of school, the day after get off work, and the streets were bustling with traffic, the sidewalks crowded with people. Although they were all residents of this town, not many of them were familiar to me... Perhaps the reason they seemed so unremarkable was simply because I had no connection with them. It was as if they saw me as just another ordinary high school student.

"Shaji-kun is indeed a thoughtful person~"

"...Thank you."

I could still tell she was praising me.

"But when I say ordinary, it's relative—" she said, pointing at me. "You and I have only been in this world for a dozen years. And in those ten years, it took nearly six years just to grow up to the age of thinking, and the remaining nearly ten years were spent in a school where special people are not allowed. Just considering the number of students in this town, there shouldn't be many who can have special experiences."

“…”

I don't know whether to agree with this.

"And unlike you, who's so reluctant to interact with others, I'm quite good at making friends at school. However, no matter who they are, whether they're top students with excellent academic performance or delinquent boys and girls who've been exposed to the so-called social atmosphere for a long time, there are very few stories that can catch my attention. I feel a little sorry to say this, but to be honest, the stories they think they've told are so complicated are just trivial in my eyes."

As she spoke, she placed her left index finger and thumb together to indicate that those events were only a tiny part of her perspective.

"And now you can look around you," she said, glancing around. "Besides students like us, people who have already entered society are practically everywhere. Their experiences can't be much more ordinary than ours—but we are not the same kind of people as they are, because they've experienced more time than we have, and naturally, their experiences have been more complex. So to answer the question of whether you're ordinary, you have to compare yourself to those around you."

"...Okay, I get it." I didn't see anything strange about her idea, so I decided to just agree with it for now.

But what really concerns me is...

"So, how much do you know about me?"

"Oh, you finally want to know?"

After I asked this question, she suddenly changed the subject and seemed to have been waiting for a long time.

"I can only answer this question for you when I'm in a good mood."

"...So, how can I be happy?"

I always feel that this routine is familiar.

"First, please treat me to dessert."

. . . . . . . .

The chocolate and fruit-decorated cake had just been brought to her, and before I could get a good look, she had already cut it in half with a fork. Then, she forked the larger piece, brought it to her mouth, and took a big bite, leaving the corners of her mouth stained with chocolate crumbs and white cream.

This way of eating is a bit too generous.

"...You ate without hesitation..."

"Hmm?" She wanted to reply quickly, so she swallowed the cake in her mouth. "What do you mean? Is there any reason for hesitation?"

"...like taking a picture and posting it on social media, or using the decor here as a reference."

"That's pointless," she scoffed. "As for style... I'll study it systematically in college. Looking for inspiration in everyday life might lead you astray."

"Is it really that serious..."

"To give an analogy, it's like asking someone who only knows a few characters to study a text without a dictionary. They'll assume they'll read many unfamiliar characters, and then it'll be difficult to change their pronunciation once they learn the correct pronunciation."

“That seems to make sense…”

Then I won't care about her behavior.

"By the way, why aren't you eating?" She glanced at the drink in front of me. "Is it because the cake I ordered was too expensive?"

"No... I just don't feel like eating sweets right now. By the way, if you eat this now, will you still have an appetite for dinner later?"

"It's okay, sweets are in the other stomach of girls."

This answer is truly timeless. What genius came up with it?

"Does that mean I'll treat you to dinner again?"

"That's right." She nodded readily. It felt as if she was the one treating. "Besides, you're going to have dinner out anyway, right? I can still stay here with you. If you think about it, you're the one who's making the most of it."

"I don't think so." Besides, "I've learned to cook for myself now... There are still enough ingredients at home for me to do my best."

"Eh? I didn't know that. I didn't expect you could cook for yourself... Isn't it troublesome to prepare the ingredients and then wash the pots and dishes?"

"...I thought it was troublesome at first, but after making it a few times, I found it acceptable." This is my honest opinion. "As long as the dish isn't too complicated, there aren't too many dishes to wash."

"Oh, I think I'm curious about this." She said as she swallowed the cake, "If I have the chance, I must try your cooking in person."

"...Cooking for two is a hassle, so forget it."

"Hey—I'm really unhappy when you say that."

"..." Although I really wanted to say, "Does your happiness have anything to do with me?", I suddenly remembered our previous conversation, "I'll make a bento for you when I don't think it's too much trouble."

"...You still have this skill?"

"I do have two lunch boxes at home, but I can't guarantee whether the food inside will be edible."

"Oh, don't worry. I'll accept it no matter how bad it tastes." She finally relaxed her brows. "Well, to express my gratitude to you, I'll tell you something I know~"

"..."

"I know you transferred schools once, back in junior high. You only attended junior high for one year before that...right?"

"...did we meet once during this period?"

I've never told anyone about these things, and even just recently remembered them. So, if she hadn't known about me since junior high, then she had the ability to read other people's memories. Obviously, she could only agree with the first scenario.

"Ahaha~ That's all I can reveal." She looked at her empty fork before digging into the other half of the cake. "You must have a lot of questions, and I can tell you responsibly that I know the answers to most of them."

"...That's impossible."

I really can't imagine someone who could know everything I've done since junior high school. And judging by her tone, it seems she knows things even before that... But such a person definitely doesn't exist in my mind.

Ah... I almost forgot I'd forgotten a lot of things from before. So maybe this guy and I were close before. But from our previous conversations, I didn't seem to notice that at all...

"Well, believe it or not~" She didn't have any excuses for my doubts, "But you won't suffer any loss if you try to make me happy. I can guarantee you that."

"..." This was the first time I met someone like this. "Since you know so much about me... why did you choose to find me at this time?"

"Well...because it would be fun to touch you right now."

This is another one of those words that hides some information.

"So, what you said before—"Ah~ I'm your fangirl" and so on was really just to confuse me, right?"

"Actually, I just wanted to see your reaction... After all, you're the kind of person who can refuse even if someone confesses. So I wanted to see how you would react to an admirer... But you didn't react much either. How should I put it... As expected of you~"

"...Uh."

This guy even knew about Kanon's confession to me... What on earth is going on?

"Oh, I think I accidentally let something slip. But it's okay~" she said as she stood up and reached for the napkin. "I've been interested in you for a long time, so naturally I know a lot."

"..."

It was the first time I felt completely suppressed by someone.

Even when facing Ye Jin, this had never happened before... Was it really because his skills were not good enough? Or was this opponent of a completely different type?

"Don't look at me like that. I'm not your enemy." As if she saw through my thoughts, she smiled kindly. "You'll definitely thank me when the time comes."

“…”

"Okay, let me see if there are any good restaurants nearby." She said and took out her cell phone.

"No need to look, I know a good place... just follow me."

"Oh~" She put away her phone obediently, "Then I'll respectfully obey."

述忆

When did it all start...

Gradually forgetting previous memories and those who seemed important to me.

"You're such a nice person! You're so polite to someone like me who makes random requests and is unreasonable."

"So you mean I can lose my temper with you?"

This is what's called "taking advantage of others and acting ungratefully"... However, my good temper from the beginning prevented me from getting angry at her behavior. It's such a sad story. If I had a more aggressive temper, perhaps no one would dare to do this to me.

"The only thing that can make you angry is...something you don't like."

"That's unfortunate. I really don't like what you're doing right now." I responded in a tone that I thought was disgusted.

"Don't you just enjoy being bullied by pretty and cute girls? Ah, actually, as long as it's not excessive bullying, you can accept it... But in this case, generally speaking, it should be shaking..."

"Okay, stop talking." Why is this guy talking nonsense and accusing others of innocence out of thin air?

"Okay, okay, if you don't want to talk about it, then don't." She immediately dropped the topic of conversation, very considerate. "After all, it's your treat today, so I can still meet your request—and you can even make more outrageous requests~"

"I'm not interested in you personally. I'm just a little interested in what you know." No, I don't say I care a little, but I care a lot. I care so much that I wish I had the ability to peek into your memories.

"How rude—I'm not that bad looking, am I?" she said, turning around to look at her legs and buttocks. "Although not as pretty as your girlfriend's, I still think I'm quite attractive. There are many people my age who are attracted to my looks. Not only are there love letters, but there are also people who want to touch me for money, or do things like that."

"...That's probably due to something else."

This kind of dress would make people think she is a rather frivolous girl. But because I don’t know her very well, I can’t say whether she is really as she looks.

"I know, it's because of the way I modified my school uniform—but what's wrong with changing an unattractive school uniform to suit your own taste? It's just that if I do that, I'll be seen as a frivolous girl. So, shouldn't we girls wear men's clothes?"

"...I also know that judging a person by appearance is wrong..."

"That's not the case. It's just that those guys can't control their desires and want to find someone to have sex with. So everyone looks like a cracked egg to them, and I'm someone they can easily bite into—but on the contrary, I care about myself more than the average person." She hesitated for a moment. "By the way, I'm wearing safety pants under my skirt."

"Even if you put on a chastity belt, it has nothing to do with me."

"You're really aloof... But that also shows you're a good man. You're not attracted to any girl other than your girlfriend."

"...I think I already said I don't have a girlfriend."

"Well, there's no one else here, so it's okay to chat a little. Ye Hui is indeed the object of admiration of many people, and those people would never dream that someone like you would get there first, right?"

"Huh? What do you mean by getting there first?"

"Hey, stop playing dumb~" she said, poking my armpit with her finger. "She's been to your house several times, right? And she's given you gifts and snacks many times too. The place you hold in her heart is definitely not something that can be replaced by just being an ordinary friend."

"...But that doesn't mean...anything."

Maybe I haven't been facing this problem.

"So, you two really aren't together?" She looked like she was just beginning to believe this.

"Haven't I already told you this a long time ago? But you just refuse to believe it and keep making wild guesses."

“Why——! Why?! Aren’t you two a good match? And you have such a good relationship! Why, why is this happening!” How can I describe it? It seems that there is really no way to describe her current behavior. “Could it be that you have someone else in your heart? Who is it?! The one named Lin Quanchuan, or her sister, or there is someone else somewhere I don’t know——”

"..."

It turns out she doesn't know everything about me. This makes me feel a little more at ease.

"Aha, I was kidding." She suddenly calmed down and said, "I've already said that I know you quite well, so of course I know who you like."

"...Really? I don't believe it."

How could she possibly know the answer to a question I didn't even know myself? She was just bluffing to get me to talk. I'd already seen through this childish trick.