I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"If they weren't in that relationship, how could they have gotten this far? And they didn't care about the rumors or the school's suppression at all. What a great relationship." She paused. "Well, although you didn't give a reason for your leave, you asked for leave right after Teacher Nan said you were sick. We understand how much emotion is involved without you having to say it."

"...?"

I admit that this kind of thing would never happen under normal circumstances. But why didn't I realize it? If I was really dating her, I would be a complete failure. The most intimate contact we had was just a hug.

No, I wouldn’t hug someone casually like most girls.

"And then... when you were in the hospital before, it was Yehui who first found you. If they didn't have such a deep affection for each other, how could they have found you in such a large area? I'm really moved~"

You were talking, but how come you suddenly became so eloquent?

"In these aspects... I am indeed very grateful to her, but nothing has ever happened between us. She hasn't said she likes me or anything... Maybe it's just concern between friends."

Why does this sound like self-hypnosis?

"You're so lacking in confidence." She wasn't too surprised by my reaction, but instead sighed, "Even if she hasn't said it, I think she's waiting for you to say it first."

"Is that right?"

"I think so." She glanced at the pool, then took out the ingredients and placed them in the pool. "After all, girls of this age are very sensitive... It's normal not to dare to confess to the person you like."

"..So, squad leader, do you have someone you like too?"

As I said this, I also washed the ingredients like her.

"Well... I guess so." However, his expression was awkward as he answered, "You have to keep this a secret for me."

"Don't worry. No one would think of coming to me to ask for information. Even if I wanted to tell them, there's no one to talk to."

"You are really...reliable."

She was also quite speechless in the face of my self-exposure.

"I should say I've become passively reliable... But then again, you actually have someone you like, squad leader. It's a little unbelievable."

"Eh? What do you mean? Can't I have a girly heart?"

"That's not what I meant. I mean, in my impression, you're the kind of person who's responsible and loves to study. I thought you'd try your best to refrain from falling in love, which would interfere with your studies and hinder your progress."

"Oh, so you think so..." She nodded, setting down the knife she was using to peel vegetables. "Actually, when I was in high school, I did scoff at the idea of ​​love. I felt that boys my age were very immature, and their way of thinking was very childish. The ideal environment for love is naturally college. By then, both I and my partner would have matured a bit."

".."

"But the world seemed to contradict me. When I thought all the boys around me were like Liu Yan, a guy with no special qualities, unusual behavior, and impetuousness..."

Wow..it seems Liu Yan is responsible for tarnishing the image of the boys in the class.

"Didn't you just show up?"

"Eh? Me?" This answer really caught me off guard.

"That's right. The first time I saw you caring so much about Rinquanchuan, I thought you were a pervert eager to chat up girls. But then I realized I was wrong... You really are thinking seriously about how to help Rinquanchuan integrate into the group. You're also trying to get her to not exclude others in the class. Although she still doesn't have many friends, she's much better than before when she was verbally abusive. And this is all thanks to you. You helped her and changed her."

".."

Do I have such a big influence on her?

"So, I see potential in you. That is, I might meet someone like you, or even better than you... Actually, love doesn't necessarily make you a loser; it just depends on whether your ambitions align."

"..So, you've found it now, right?"

"Ahaha, this is a secret. I won't tell anyone." She ended the topic and said, "There will be a lot of guests coming today. Let's work hard together."

"Ah."

I believe she will find the person she loves. And I also hope that she can get the love and happiness she longs for. I have prayed for the happiness of those around me more than once, and this time is no exception.

...

Compared to the bustling clubs around us, my club seems much quieter. Because we haven't submitted any projects, even the door is closed, but this doesn't mean we don't do anything.

While playing arcade games in a gaming club is quite exciting, it's enough to queue up once just to try it out. Instead of wasting time waiting in line, it's better to spend it on more interesting things.

For example, playing games in your own club.

"..Damn it, I lost again--" "Hehe, you're a hundred years too early to win against me."

Even though Rinsenchuan's words were mocking me, they sparked hope in me. If she said something like, "Rather than the destruction of the universe, I'll never even think about it in this lifetime," and that I could surpass her in just a hundred years, then it wouldn't be impossible for me to try harder and shorten the time by a few decades.

"Oh, guys like you who seem to have lost their cerebellum after playing racing games, you can't touch cars from now on, right?"

“…It’s hard to say.”

Even though it's hard to control the direction in the game, life isn't a game. Besides, you can't use a controller to control how to drive a car in real life.

"Oh, you are quite ambitious... I can already imagine you being stuck in traffic with that junky no-brand car. How pitiful." She couldn't help but smile with her hands covering her mouth. However, whether it was intentional or her hands were too small, she could still be seen smiling even when covering her mouth, and the mockery was much more intense.

"..Who says you have to drive if you want to get a driver's license? Can't I just collect them?" As someone with a collecting hobby, I might really take tests for various certificates when I have time.

"Oh my, this quirk is really unique."

As soon as she finished speaking, she crossed the finish line again.

"No, I think we should change the game. It's too unfair to only play what you are good at." I protested.

"Oh, that's a shame. I'm good at all games~"

"But this is what I'm not good at!" I said, looking at the game discs she bought on the table, "..You are really rich, do you buy everything that is released?" Then she would have to use several rooms in her house to stockpile games.

"What else? I also want to buy the ones that haven't been released yet, but they haven't made them yet, right?"

“..These are all things I haven’t played before.”

"Haha, as a PC online game player, you naturally don't understand the console gamer community."

"Just a quick question...what kind of console did you buy?"

"All."

"Tsk." I shouldn't have asked her such a question. "But even in this situation, you still have time to read..."

"Reading and playing games don't conflict. It just depends on how you use your time... although I've always squeezed my study time."

"You squeezed so much study time and still managed to get that kind of score?!" I was shocked to find a star brawl between some hellish characters. "You should have brought that Tai Chi-like game console, right?"

"...That's not Tai Chi... Never mind, there's no point explaining it to you." She stood up and took out a box from the cabinet. It probably contained that thing. "It can also be transferred to the big screen. Are you sure you want to play this?"

"Yes."

"Oh~ I have to say you're really good at picking. I've barely touched this game since I bought it, so there's still a chance you can beat me."

"...Hmm." Because I know this has only been on the market for a short time, "Then your 100 years is a bit short."

"..You haven't defeated me yet."

...

Why, that's impossible.

"Didn't you say you haven't played it many times?" Seeing how skillfully she operated, I knew there must be something fishy going on.

"But this is the latest sequel... There are previous games, and I've played them before."

"Why are you like this..." I always feel like I've been tricked by her.

"Yeah. Okay, stop dreaming. You can't possibly beat me in gaming. Even if you compete in spending money, I can still give you a week's worth of money in just one day."

"Please..stop it."

First of all, this isn't because I'm heartbroken, but rather because I don't want to let this sway me from using my royalties. However, even with this, I still can't compare to Rinsenkawa's level of spending.

"Then let's not talk about it..." She turned to me, "How about trying another game, one where we don't fight each other? You wouldn't mind playing a game where we can work together to complete a level."

"..I don't have any objection, but we have been playing games here for a long time."

"Let me see...it should be two hours."

"Two hours...don't you have anywhere you want to go? Just playing games is pointless, right?"

"Oh, did I hit you and made you autistic?"

"No, I just want to change my mood." I put down the controller in my hand and said, "How about going together?"

"Are you with me?" she confirmed.

"Yes."

"Well, I'll be bored here anyway if you leave."

She didn't refuse. I thought she would say, "I'd rather stay here alone than with a disgusting slug like you."

"Since you agreed... let me see what places there are to visit now." I took out the cultural exhibition brochure from my pocket. "Now you can go to the chorus and the impromptu rap. You might encounter someone singing along the way..."

"Uh, why do you always sing?"

Don’t ask me, I actually want to complain about this.

"If you don't want to listen to music, there are also language programs here, such as crosstalk and talk shows. It starts in five minutes, and there's a fee."

"Oh, are you sure you don't want to listen to awkward conversation and outdated scenes?"

"..Your request is too harsh. It's not too much to criticize after listening to it, right?" Although there is indeed such a possibility, it is a bit...

"Not interested, not interested."

“…” Why not just say you’re not interested?

"Oh, by the way, didn't you write the script? When does the play start?" She thought of this. Judging from her expectant expression, she must want to go to see it with me.

"..It will start in ten minutes. It's already been set up in the school auditorium. But I don't really want to go and see it--" It's enough for others to just look at what I wrote. It always feels a bit inappropriate to stare at it myself.

"You don't have anything to do anyway, so come with me." She insisted on dragging me along.

"..What do you mean by anyway?"

It's as if I'm usually free.

"Well, it's settled. You, a creature barely more attractive than a slimy mollusk, should feel honored to be invited by me."

"..ah."

Slugs are also mollusks, so I guess I anticipated what she was saying. That's really good news.

"Okay.. then I'll go with you."

However, just as we were talking and laughing at the door of the auditorium, we suddenly saw more than one familiar figure.

"Oh, I've been waiting for you two for a long time." Ye Hui greeted us two first, and then as soon as he finished speaking, another figure walked out of the crowd.

"You two are here too." This is the president, Rin Hanekawa. "It seems like you have a pretty good relationship..."

"...Are these your classmates?" Then, as expected, Yao Qiong arrived. "Are they all here to support your script?"

"..."

It seems that everyone who knew I wrote the script came, and no one stood me up... I was so touched.

The past is revealed

Humans always try to rebel against something, only to learn to accept it after experiencing bitterness, or to compromise only after truly realizing their own inability. Even if they succeed in their rebellion, they ultimately cannot escape the framework of rules—so I can assert that no matter what people do, it is futile. So-called success and failure are merely self-deceptions, rules that satisfy human vanity.

This world is terrible. I have lamented this over and over again, but I am powerless to change it.

Most people are like scavengers in a wasteland of suffering, searching for their own happiness, and even the slightest bit of joy can ignite the courage to live. Is this pathetic or admirable? I can't tell.

The reason I even consider these matters, which have little to do with me, is that my happiness is built on the care of my parents. They constantly pioneered in the wilderness, never feeling sad, never allowing themselves to feel sad, never feeling tired, and never allowing themselves to show fatigue, simply to ensure that I could achieve greater happiness than others. If it weren't for them supporting my childhood, I would have long been blinded by life, gradually numb to the world.

Perhaps in their eyes, I am the most precious treasure unearthed in this wasteland. Yet, I have consistently failed to live up to their expectations, because I am not as valuable as they thought I was. I can never find a way to demonstrate my worth—or perhaps I have already found it, but something is holding me back. Even if I carefully recall, digging deep into the soil where my memories accumulate, I still cannot find the answer.

How should I deal with this? Facing the impending choice.

Chapter 11: The Past Resurfaces

"It looks like a tragedy..." "A planet that has been pursuing freedom is ultimately destroyed." "If only you hadn't tried to persuade other planets in the beginning and had just run away on your own, it would have been fine." "Isn't this plot just a tragedy for the sake of tragedy?" "I think I can write something better than this." "Come on, stop bragging." "The acting is good, and the plot is acceptable..." "Although it's a little worse than last year's." "But I heard that the same person is in charge..." "Huh? Really?" "Although the script doesn't seem to be written by the same person." "Oh, that's it..." "The script must be too bad." "Monologue There are too many, can't you delete some of them?" "There are also some problems with the setting..." "The creativity is okay..." "What a piece of crap." "Just write about the characters... why make it so complicated?" "...I hope it won't be like this next year." "The protagonist is quite handsome, which class is he from?" "The drama club is still great..." "It feels a bit lacking now that Senior Su is no longer in charge of the script." "I think it's okay, and I always feel that this style is very familiar..." "Is it plagiarized?" "Some lines are really awkward..." "...Me too, it's so awkward." "..." "..."

I'd anticipated this, and even if I told myself not to pay attention, my ears kept collecting the comments from those who'd seen it. It felt like a message board appeared before my eyes. Maybe I've just figured it out myself after using software so much... The brain is truly an incredible organ.

"Not bad. Although I don't know much about the universe and planets...but I know you want to express your frustration with rules and restrictions."

“…” I really can’t figure out how Yao Qiong understood it to this extent.

"If I'm not narcissistic, it should also mean that I should cheer up and not care so much... I'm sorry to bother you." She said this to me quickly and left, and then the same cell phone ringtone came from her pocket as yesterday.