I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

".."

"I'm just an idiot who doesn't understand what others are saying and can't read people's expressions. I'm a coward and I run away... Actually, I've been avoiding reality for a long time, and I've been doing it ever since." As he spoke, he tightened his grip on his clothes with his right hand. "If you stay with me, you'll inevitably experience misfortune."

This was what he had caused. He had been thinking about it over and over again ever since.

"You're not a middle school boy anymore, how can you still say such things?"

He'd been saying incomprehensible things since a while ago. Lin Quanchuan had no idea how to deal with him, a completely different person from before. And since she sent the text message, Ye Hui still hadn't appeared. She had a premonition that it would be difficult to persuade the man in front of her.

"This isn't Chuunibyou, it's guilt."

He'd already told others this once, so it wouldn't matter if he said it again. "There are so many things I regret. But the two things that make me want to pay for the most are the ones I absolutely can't get over."

...

"I've got a good idea!"

From the season of heavy rain to the season of plum rain, after constant thinking, he finally thought of a way to free her from this pain.

If there was something she couldn't resolve, she could simply run away. She had no family to cling to, so leaving her abusive father was perfectly natural and reasonable. She just had to leave, just leave the guy who had been hurting her.

As if he had found a practical way to make her happy, he proposed this method to her with great joy. However, she did not show much interest after hearing it.

"That's impossible." She simply changed the extracurricular books from being placed vertically to being laid flat, and turned her gaze to him beside her. "I can't escape at all."

"You can run. He's not holding you captive or anything. Why can't you just think about leaving him?" She was usually quite shrewd, so why wasn't she thinking positively at this moment? He was puzzled by her cold reaction.

"So, if I really run away, where should I go?" he asked coldly.

"Well..." He was at a loss for a moment. He hadn't thought carefully about what to do next, and just felt that he should leave that house as soon as possible.

"Do you think I haven't thought about it? I've wanted to leave that guy for a long time. But when I realized I couldn't do it, I completely gave up on the idea." She sighed softly, "With no pocket money for travel expenses, no luggage, and no place to stay... The fact that I can talk to you and get to know you now is all because that old bastard is spending money... Well, even though he doesn't spend much on me."

"..."

Compared to before, she seems to have become much more open-minded.

"I always feel that he has a reason for leaving me alone. Otherwise, there is no reason for him to keep me at home." Her eyes revealed a hint of melancholy. It was not as obvious as before, but there was a reason.

"What does this mean?" Although he had some idea, he was still unwilling to think about it in a bad way.

"...Actually, life isn't necessarily the most valuable thing in a person." She showed off the extracurricular book in her hand. It was The Lady of the Camellias, by a foreign author named Alexandre Dumas. "It seems the author is an illegitimate child. Well, actually, that's not what I care about... It's the heroine in the book and what she does."

"..Huh? What on earth is that?" He hadn't actually read the contents. Naturally, he didn't understand what she was worried about.

"To put it bluntly...it's probably like selling me off. No, it's more like making me do something more painful than getting beaten."

He doesn't understand.

Why was there a smile on her face when she talked about this kind of thing? It was as if she wasn't talking about herself... And he couldn't understand why, after such a short time, she already knew so much more than him.

"Then you should leave! No matter where you go, it's better than being with him, right? That old bastard doesn't even treat you as his daughter... I'm really worried about you."

I've never wished for her so strongly. I longed for her to be like me, like a normal person, to enjoy even a modicum of happiness. Why, why does even someone like me feel happiness is within reach... while she still has to endure pain every day that shouldn't be hers?

"I know...but there's nothing I can do about it..." She lowered her eyelids slightly, trying to hide her dejected look. "I'm already very happy to be able to talk to you every day like this..."

"No, it's not enough! This is just what you deserve... It's not something to feel happy about. The happiness you expect shouldn't be like this..." He clenched his fists tightly and began to ask himself why he was so weak, but now he had no time to be depressed.

“I’m really happy now.”

As long as I can see him every day...

"No, it's not enough..." He thought hard and finally came up with an answer, "I've decided to help you. It's better for you to leave here as soon as possible... I'll help you get the money for the trip. And I can also help you with your luggage and other things."

"..."

Looking at his determined eyes, her numb heart seemed to be electrified, awakening her previous thoughts.

"Your happiness should be to live a free and easy life... You said that before, didn't you? Now I will help you. Don't worry about me, I don't care... Really, if you can be happy..."

"No more words."

She hugged him tightly.

This guy always wanted the best for her. He always wanted her to be happy. He gave her so much, letting her taste happiness, bringing a little sweetness to her bitter childhood. She should have given him so much in return, but she had nothing since she was born. The only thing she could control was perhaps the right to like someone.

Thinking of this, she hugged him tighter and tighter.

She likes this boy.

Although she initially relied on him to seek help from others, when these other avenues failed, he remained by her side. She could receive from him the care she had never received before, and from him she could feel the tenderness that could be called a luxury.

It would be great if I could always be with him.

How nice it would be if I could always have his tenderness all to myself.

If only he could tell me that he liked me too.

If that were the case, she could have said that she didn't want to leave.

However, she didn't want to continue being dominated by that bastard. Moreover, since he wanted her to leave and find her own happiness, then she should believe him and go find it.

"Hey...Ruo...Ruoming?"

He was obviously frightened by her action, but he did not push her away. After a brief moment of shock, he took her into his arms.

"I actually don't want to leave."

She seemed to be choking.

"..I don't want to either, but...things are just so complicated." The world does not develop according to people's ideas.

"I know... I know you want me to have a better life. I understand, because there is no one in the world who treats me better than you... I must be very strange, right? I was abandoned by my family... I don't even have family blood in me."

If it wasn't for this fate, if her family was harmonious, would she still have met this boy?

"No..you're not weird at all."

Although he didn't understand the relationship between adults, he knew that none of this had anything to do with her, who hadn't been born into this world of her own free will. She shouldn't have to bear these hardships.

"..Can I trust you?"

"Trust me." She would definitely live a better and happier life in the future. "I'll prepare a lot of things... You also said you knew where your mother was, right? Just go find her."

"..."

"After that, you can forget about me..."

"No, I absolutely will not forget." She gradually released him from her embrace and looked at his face quietly. "I will always remember your face. No matter how many years pass, no matter how much time has passed...even if I only catch a glimpse of you in a crowd, I will still recognize it as you."

".."

"You are my favorite person in this world. Whether you like me or not, this will never change."

"what."

He accepted it. Or rather, he had expected it a long time ago. It was just that he was too shy to say it out loud.

But just when she was about to decide to leave... admitting it openly like this was the best option.

"..Me too.."

The gloom of life

For three days now, a gloomy sky, accompanied by a steady stream of icy rain, had settled here. The air was gloomy and gloomy, and his heart was filled with an inexpressible sorrow. Despite this, he smashed the piggy bank he had been saving in for who knows how long and took out every penny.

He didn't have anything in particular he wanted, so he usually put a lot of money in it, but the denominations were not large, and it just looked like a lot in his hand. But it was still enough for her to use.

"I've been saving this money for a long time... although I don't know why. Maybe it's just because my parents don't allow me to spend it carelessly, so I'm doing this." When he placed the rolled-up money in her hand, he suddenly felt the uneasiness in his heart dissipate a lot. "I've already bought the ticket for you, so it's okay..."

"I really don't know how to thank you."

The backpack on her back was filled with clothes and snacks, all prepared by him. Now they were saying their final goodbyes, and for some reason, he felt like this might be the last time he'd see her. No one could predict what would happen next. Even if he didn't want her to leave, compared to whether she could be happy... this feeling was unbearable.

“No need to thank me…”

He was still thinking about whether there was any way to help her get rid of her pain without sending her away, but even when the long-distance bus arrived, he still had no idea. He could only watch her slowly get on the bus and calmly accept this reality.

Chapter 16: The Gloom of Life

"Where did you hide her?!"

The bastard dad with a fierce face seemed to have noticed their actions, so when he found out that he was the only one returning from school, he tied him up in anger and interrogated him with the same method he usually used to treat her.

At first, they kicked him repeatedly with their leather shoes, sending him rolling around in the dim room. Unable to resist the strength of an adult, he could only offer a feeble resistance, but the pain of the kicks and the constant grabbing and throwing finally sapped his strength. Previously, he had been able to struggle a bit, but now he could only lie on the ground, completely powerless to resist no matter how hard he was kicked.

Seeing this, the bastard took off his clothes, exposed him in the cold room, tied his hands and feet, took out a thin bamboo stick, and beat him on the back mercilessly.

"ah--!"

A sensation of being pricked and burned instantly spread throughout his body. But he couldn't resist it at all. The pain kept coming, and he kept wailing.

"Tell me, where did you hide her?"

The bastard kept asking, a look of pleasure on his face as he lashed her out. The psychopathic bastard had a morbid enjoyment in this behavior, which was why he rarely failed to abuse his own daughter.

".."

However, he knew that if he told her, the bastard would catch her again, so he had no intention of telling her. If she came back here, she would definitely be treated even more cruelly, so he would not reveal anything at all.

"I know you two have a good relationship. How's it going? Did she say a lot of nice things to you?" Seeing that the kid in front of him was quite courageous, the bastard dropped the bamboo stick in his hand. At this time, his body was already covered with many small swollen marks from being beaten by the small stick.

"That girl is just like her cousin's mother, no, it seems she's even better than her. She's already able to seduce men at such a young age." He sneered and sat down in front of him, looking at him with interest. "So? Have you done it? Even though she's so young, I've already seen that she can still seduce men. If I weren't interested in girls of this age, I wouldn't have to go out and spend money."

“..What are you talking about..”

He had no idea what the man in front of him was saying. Although he didn't understand, he could still sense that the guy was saying something jerkish and insulting her.

"You don't have to pretend. I know she often comes to your house... What do you think? Although she's young, she's already quite capable, right? That time someone came to investigate was because of you, right? But it's all useless. Hiding her is pointless. Anyway, I'll find her sooner or later, so you don't have to suffer like this for her, right?"

But he just lowered his head and didn't want to listen to him.

"A spoiled young man like you can't endure such hardship. Why bother?" Seeing this, he stretched out his strong arms and lifted his drooping head upwards, forcing him to look at himself. "...What did she say to you that made you so devoted to her? Does she enjoy it so much?"

".."

"Seeing you're so infatuated, I'll tell you. That girl is very scheming, and she never tells the truth. It's pitiful that you were deceived by her, and you took the beatings and suffered for her, but what happened in the end? What good did she do you?"

In the dim room, the bastard's face looked sinister and twisted. It was the expression common to incompetent adults. No one would look down on him no matter where he was. He couldn't help but laugh as he thought about it.

"...What are you laughing at?" The bastard was confused. Because when he was beating the girl, she didn't cry and beg for mercy like before, and even looked at him with hatred. He had been trying to vent his anger, but her reaction only made the bastard feel more annoyed.

".."

"Aren't you afraid of me? Aren't you afraid of the pain?" This bastard who has no ability at all can't protect anything around him. He has been looked down upon and ignored. He can only regain a little self-esteem by bullying his daughter who is weaker than him and has no blood relationship with him.

He drank, gambled, and even went to prostitutes when he had some spare money. He actually still owed some gambling debts. He had long planned to sell his unrelated daughter out in a few years. That way he could pay off his debts and still have a free time—because he had raised her until now, so he had the right to do so.

But now she was gone. It was like taking away his important source of funds, so naturally that bastard would be anxious to get her back.

"..."

But when faced with that scumbag's questioning, he still responded with contempt. This kind of person is not worth looking at.

"You fucking bastard." The bastard, angered by the look, raised his hand and slapped him. "Hurry up and tell me, my patience is almost worn out. If you look at me like that again, I'll dig your eyeballs out."

He closed his eyes, not because he was afraid, but because he was wondering where she had gone.

"Shit..." The bastard suddenly loosened his grip on his chin, stood up, and fiercely kicked him in the head. He was directly dizzy from the force of the kick, and collapsed straight to the ground.

"I'm going out now to continue looking... I'll come back and ask you if I can't find it. If you still don't tell me..." He didn't finish his words, and instead there was the sound of the door slamming shut.

"what..."

He felt his vision go dark. The wounds on his body burned with pain, and his hands and feet were tied with ropes, so there was no way to escape. And because he didn't know how long he had been held captive, he no longer had the energy to scream or struggle.

Hunger and thirst continued to torment his still young body. Then, a sudden drowsiness came over him, and his perception of the world was temporarily severed.

...

"Student, the school is only open to students on campus now..."

When the security guard was about to stop her, Ye Hui showed her student ID and ran into the school without stopping.

"Hey... run slower... the exciting show has just begun!"

Seeing Ye Hui panting, the security guard, out of common sense, looked towards the stage behind the building not far away, curious about the show currently being performed. What was it that had people rushing to see it? However, he didn't know that the reason Ye Hui was running wasn't to catch the show that was optional for her. It was for something else.

The person she cared about was currently facing an insurmountable obstacle. She hadn't rushed over with the intention of competing with anyone for him... Although she wished she could stay with him for a long time, now wasn't the best time to consider such a matter.

Ever since the young man named Sheji collapsed on a snowy night, his melancholy had intensified, even affecting his temperament and demeanor. She was terrified, afraid he would do something illogical... Even more worrying was the advice of his other personality.