I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"...My parents were going out for a long time, and they were worried that I'd be lonely at home, so they let me stay at your house. But after school, I went to your house but you didn't come back, so I wondered if you were here."

"..Wow, you guessed it right."

We haven't seen each other for such a long time, and she doesn't know what I've been doing lately, so how could...

"It's nothing really. Anyway, brother, you are the type who follows the trend and plays games." She said in a nonchalant tone.

"Huh? I can't call this following the trend, right? I've been doing this for over two years."

"That's why I said you were enjoying yourself. After all, in my impression, it's hard for you to stick to something until the end, brother."

"No, no, no...that's not fair." If there was one thing he could stick to, it was his sheer abandon. He didn't care what others thought, and he made no secret of his worthlessness.

"Well, let's not talk about this for now." She leaned her face closer. "I got out of school early and waited for you for so long that I didn't even have dinner. Can you buy me something to eat first?"

"...Oh, right, there's no evening study session in junior high." That reminded me, "So what were you doing before you came to see me?"

"Watching TV at your house, waiting for you to get out of school."

"Why do you have time to watch TV but no time to cook? I should have a lot of food left at home..."

"Cooking involves my blind spot in knowledge, and I don't have much money on me. The little money I had left was spent on playing games with you."

So why spend money on that kind of thing?

"Forget it, I'll take you to dinner." Since I'd been seeing this guy again for so long, I couldn't just sit here and play games. So I asked a classmate to watch my seat, and then I walked out of the internet cafe with Ye Jin.

"What would you like to eat?"

"It doesn't matter, as long as I can fill my stomach... Speaking of which, won't your aunt and uncle notice you staying in the internet cafe like this?"

"It's been almost a year and they haven't been discovered yet. It doesn't matter."

"Hey..Aren't you attending classes this morning?"

"Just pick out the ones you like... well, you don't have to worry about studying. But you, how did you get into this game? And your skills are so... amazing."

"Oh, you can see I'm pretty good, right?" She said with a smug look on her face. "Actually, I just figured you'd like this game, so I decided to play it."

"Huh?" What is this guy talking about... Because of me? We haven't spoken for a long time, why would she do it for me... Wait, is she cheating?

"Besides, this game is actually quite fun to play... It's pretty good as a competitive tool. There are a few imbalances, but overall it's still okay."

"..Really?" What? Didn't she go there because she liked it? And she said she guessed I would like it..

"Speaking of which, brother."

"Ok?"

"Are you satisfied with your current school?"

"...I don't really hate it." I thought for a moment, "I don't really like it either."

"Really? Anyway, I'm starting to hate where I am more and more. I'm surrounded by boring little brats and self-righteous adults who are always trying to be smooth and diplomatic... It's both pathetic and ridiculous."

Bored brats... probably those who've just graduated from elementary school and entered middle school, still half-baked but self-important. They simply imitate the adult world's flaws, using sheer force to bring the hapless and innocent to their knees... Adults, preoccupied with how to get by, never willing to address the root of the problem, simply relegating these moldy creatures to trash-can classes, out of sight and out of mind, letting them rot.

"..Have you been bullied?"

I really don't want her to encounter such a thing...but if it were her, there would be no way to hide her brilliance. Unlike someone like me who was born a loser, she is destined to shine, a person with talent.

However, mortals do not need such guys around them.

"Have you ever thought about escaping from this prison?" She suddenly stood under the streetlight and looked at me seriously. "You probably don't like the environment you're in, do you?"

She didn't respond directly, but I understood everything. As the saying goes, geniuses are born lonely. Although she doesn't consider herself a genius, she has already tasted the loneliness and pain that shouldn't belong to her.

"...Whether I like it or not, I won't be able to escape anytime soon." That's just how it is sometimes. Even if I know I should flee, it's not just the immature who don't understand. Just finish my studies—that's the idea, not trying to fundamentally resolve the problem, but simply leaving it to time.

"My idea is to just go with the flow and not to make any decisions on my own."

"Is that so..." A look of disappointment appeared on her face.

"But if you have any ideas, I'd be happy to listen."

If it were her, she would probably have some bold ideas.

"...Will you support me?"

"...If it's nothing out of the ordinary, probably."

However, when she asked this question, I seemed to have a slight premonition that she would say something extraordinary.

When wasting time has become a habit

Is a world where conflict and death still exist a beautiful or cruel one? I believe everyone has their own opinion. Regardless of one's own views, there is no way to change others... Conflict probably arises from opposing ideas.

Because words alone are ineffective, they seek to subjugate others through force. However, even if they are beaten black and blue, they will still refuse to accept the defeat. Furthermore, agreement based on force is not permanent and will still sow the seeds of unrest.

From this perspective, the world may be a vehicle for all kinds of calculations and hatred, with occasional bursts of sincerity and kindness. But most of the time, it's indifference... When people lack a specific connection, indifference is bound to occur.

I don't resent this barrier; it's impossible for people to be completely close to one another. Spending time with strangers carries the risk of being hurt, spending time with people who don't follow the rules exposes you to deception, spending time with those who value only force will only lead to hurt, and spending time with those without wisdom means you can only speak to them on their level.

Boring... I am always surrounded by boring people. I don't want to have any connection with them, but these boring people always want me to follow their ideas.

Why? Just because a group of people are walking the same way, I should walk with them, right? But what happens when we reach the end of the road? We'll all go our separate ways.

"So, what kind of life do you want to choose?"

【Conclusion】When wasting time has become a habit

Mortals cannot create legends.

As time goes by, the world today can no longer produce great figures who lead the trend of thought, nor can it produce saints who are extraordinary and transcendent. All it can do is ordinary things.

"Do you think this guy is too good at dodging skills?"

"...He didn't hit a single non-targeted skill. To say he's skilled is a bit of an exaggeration."

"Is there an auxiliary program or something like that..."

"It's possible. But there is still a way to deal with him."

"makes sense..."

Having encountered so many similar matches, I'm less concerned about other people's cheating methods. From a purely pursuit of victory perspective, using cheats to compensate for one's inherent shortcomings is understandable... These people don't have much self-awareness as players anyway, so I just treat them as enemies.

"After all, cheating doesn't increase your IQ."

"Ahahaha~"

Ever since playing games with her, I've always felt like winning has become too easy. No matter how dire the situation, she always finds a way to alleviate it. Even though sometimes I feel powerless, being able to try to turn the situation around with her is a completely different feeling than being helpless alone.

I always feel that it was the right choice to agree with her at the time.

"I want to live on games with you."

...

When did it all start? I always feel like my life is designed by some unknown force.

In fact, there is nothing inevitable in the world... For example, the real reason why my family and Ye Jin's family suddenly became estranged was not because of moving or something like that.

But bringing this up now doesn't seem very concrete, so there's no need to explain it completely... Just know that Ye Jin and I aren't actually related by blood. I've known this for years. I don't know why, but I always stumble upon things I'm not interested in... Ye Jin, on the other hand, seems to be very concerned about the reason for the estrangement between our two families, so she investigated the truth.

As for the reason for coming to see me, it wasn't actually because her family was on a business trip or something like that. If that was the reason, she should have come to see me years ago. After all, I'm not completely unaware of her family's busy schedule. I just can't understand why she stopped contacting me just because of this?

Well, since I wasn't involved, I couldn't really empathize. So, I simply didn't think about it, and I didn't ask. But suddenly, the only person I could accept was taken away, leaving me feeling completely lost. Besides her, it seemed like no one else I could truly talk to. While this might be due to my own self-imposed isolation, I no longer felt the heart to seek out anyone I could talk to.

It felt like I was the only one around, and it took me a long time to get used to this loneliness. I think she must have been the same way... How much effort did she make just to be by my side? Should I put my hand on her head and caress it?

"You said... you wanted to live with me. What do you mean?"

My heart was beating fast because I had presumptuously guessed what she was thinking, and lustful fantasies began to swirl in my mind...even though it was just a single sentence.

"It's just...giving up everything, just the two of us, and going to a place where no one can find us."

"...Isn't that a bit difficult?" If two people suddenly disappeared, it would definitely be a huge incident for both families. They would definitely call the police or something like that. "At least, it's impossible right now."

"Yeah, I can't do that now." Her tone suddenly sounded a little disappointed. "Can time just pass faster? I still have four years to go before I become an adult."

"That's not much of a difference. I only have two more years."

"If you still haven't found your life's purpose by then, will you continue to live with me?"

"..There's no need for ifs. I've never had any goals."

Having accomplished nothing since childhood, I've lost the desire to find my purpose, and the drive to achieve it. I'm someone who only follows the crowd, and ultimately, I'll accept guidance from others... and I just hope that guidance is her.

"If there is a goal, it is the one you set for me. If you want me to be something, then that is what I will be."

When I see someone more dazzling than myself, I'll give up on shining. The desire to be like them no longer exists; it was merely the thought of an immature person. Just to keep the light around comes at a high price, doesn't it?

"Will you be...anyone for me?" A smile finally appeared on her face. "..This really...makes me very happy."

"..."

"Ever since I met you, I've been in a strange state... It's like there's some incredible attraction, and I always feel that being with you can bring me true peace of mind." Her mood gradually calmed down. "I've carefully examined this feeling... It's definitely different from respect or something like that. I was troubled by it for a long time, but now I don't care. Since we are theoretically two completely unrelated people..."

"It's not completely unrelated... well, how should I put it? It feels like I've been played a prank." If I had to put it bluntly, it's probably a feeling of extreme luck. "Besides you, there's no one I can really talk to. Over the years, whenever I want to talk to someone without anyone to talk to, it's like another personality splits off, like I'm chatting with myself. If it weren't for games to relieve my stress, I'd probably go crazy, right?"

"..."

Is it really that serious? Human sorrow isn't universal, so even if someone complains, others won't immediately believe it. I haven't gone crazy yet, so there's a chance I'm exaggerating...

"Don't worry anymore. From now on, you can come to me and tell me anything you have on your mind." Suddenly, I felt a warm sensation in my palm. She gently took my hand and said, "If you think I'm the only one in the world who can understand you, then I'll be that person."

"what..."

How many times had I prayed in my heart for this result to finally come to me? It was like a miracle that the only girl in this world that I could truly say I liked was actually willing to accept my feelings in her lifetime.

"That's great..." I found a way to continue living besides gaming. "Even though I feel it's not possible, I still decided... to try my best for the future."

. . . .

If I could master the game to its fullest, perhaps I could truly create something legendary—but there's no such thing as an undefeated player. The siblings in novels who never lose in games simply don't exist in reality... Even someone as calculating as Ye Jin still has blind spots and errors in judgment. As another older brother, all I have to offer is my exceptional reaction speed and the ability to handle unexpected situations.

Unfortunately, even games based on reality still have some rules. Whether it's network latency, cheats, or uncooperative teammates, these factors can affect a game's success... After all, there's no such thing as a perfect combination.

"Wow, I lost, I lost—" "Damn it, I'm so angry."

The moment you put down your keyboard and mouse, you'll always return to reality. You'll feel hungry, your body will feel tired and sleepy... Even if your brain is incredibly advanced, your body is still that of an average person.

So I have thought more than once how nice it would be if I could attach my soul to the armor.

"Brother, go cook!"

The gaming chair next to me suddenly turned towards me, and then the unreasonable guy stretched out his foot and kicked my chair.

"Okay..." I, who never had a bad temper, became even more easygoing. What was even more incredible was that after she was by my side, I felt less worried. "But I should make time to exercise. I feel like my health will get worse if I keep doing this..."

The joints feel like they are rusty.

"Isn't this what a homebody is?"

"Then at least pay attention to your figure. What if you get out of shape?" I yawned and walked towards the nearby kitchen. "I would also feel guilty if I fed you fat."

"It's okay, it's okay. I'm the type of person who can't gain weight."

"Well... since you put it that way."

Anyway, I had already moved out of the dorm during my college years, and she came to live with me after graduating from high school. Besides being far away from the emperor's jurisdiction, the best thing about living here is probably that I can live at home without any restrictions... Is it really that free?

"Hey, Ye Jin."

Suddenly, I was troubled, so of course I had to find her to seek answers without delay.

"Um...what's wrong?"

"What should we do after this?" Even if nothing happens for the time being, if only two siblings (fake) were to live together in one house, their parents would definitely not approve. Plus, there's a significant age gap... living expenses, future jobs, and so on... If the relationship is further away, there might be more realistic options.

Now that I think about it, being able to travel to another world with my equipment would be quite a blessing. Even if it wasn't a world where games controlled everything...

"What to do...I haven't figured it out yet."

"..Eh?" This was the first time Ye Jin showed his lack of confidence. "If that's the case, then there's nothing we can do."

Only when things happen can we make a decision.

"...Are you really dependent on me?"

"Do you still need to ask at this point? Of course I can't think without you." This is not a lie. After all, after having her, I no longer want to think about important decisions.