I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

Having said that, I still have to think carefully about how to scare away this blind date.

Things that have not changed

"Um...Jia Yin, it's better to let go of my arm. If you hold it like this, it will make me feel more sore."

Although I don't hate this feeling, I still have an inexplicable resistance to this somewhat ambiguous posture.

"Ah... Really? Sorry."

Jiayin immediately let go of my hand after hearing what I said.

"It's okay, it's okay. You mean well..." I stretched my arms. "By the way, Jiayin, where do you want to go?"

However, Jiayin did not answer me immediately. After thinking for a while, she answered me.

"Hey? That place? It seems a bit far away, and it doesn't have anything special..." I asked her puzzledly after hearing the name of the restaurant.

"Because it's very close to my original home, I want to go and take another look." After saying that, he looked at me and smiled, but in my opinion, there was a hint of sadness in that smile.

"Can you come with me?"

The inquiry from Jiayin is also an invitation.

I think I have no other choice but to agree.

Chapter 23: Things That Haven't Changed

It's not a very big store. Although I haven't stepped in yet, I can see the interior decoration from this distance. It seems to have been renovated recently. The walls are based on warm colors such as orange. When I approach the door, I can faintly hear soft music. These things all give people a sense of security.

"This is it. I used to come here often when I was in junior high school... I wanted to introduce this place to you, Shaji, back then, but..."

She didn't finish her words, but quickened her pace and entered the store before me.

"Sheji, come quickly and look here."

There were not many customers in the store at this time, so after avoiding the clerk's gaze, I walked towards the wall where Jiayin was.

Unlike the surrounding walls, the walls here are densely covered with something. Looking closely, they are all notes written by others. Some are wishes, some are words of encouragement to oneself, and some are confessions to others.

However, the chances of such a confession being seen are probably low, and even if it is seen, no one would know who wrote it.

"I wrote my wish here too... It's been a few years, I don't know if I can still find it."

Jiayin said to me while looking at the note above.

"Since I wrote it myself, will I forget it?"

After thinking about it carefully...it seems that I really will forget.

If I were to look through my diaries from the past few years, I would be surprised because I would feel that they are not something I would write at all.

So....

"I will forget it," Jiayin answered me. "I really will forget it. Whether it's my original intention or my memories, if I don't pay attention to some things, I will definitely forget them."

After hearing this...I didn't know how to respond for a moment.

"Well, let's order first and then look carefully before the food arrives."

I said this and glanced at the clerk who was still smiling despite being ignored.

"I'll look for it with you, okay?"

After thinking about it, he added this sentence.

"Yes, that's fine... Ah, rather, I'm very grateful."

"You're welcome."

At this moment, I couldn't help but think.

If I had known this place earlier, what would I have written down? Would I have written down my wishes, my hopes for the future, or what I would say to myself now?

Well, it's a pity that there is no such thing as "if" in the world.

..............................

"I haven't found it yet." Jiayin smiled at me helplessly.

"Oh, I couldn't find it." I said to her with the same expression.

"Although I feel a little regretful...but there's nothing I can do." Jiayin quickly accepted the reality.

"After all, it's been a few years. Maybe it was lost during the renovation. Don't worry too much about it."

I said and sat down.

"Well, I can only give up." Jiayin said and sat opposite me.

"Um... let's... start eating?" I felt inexplicably nervous sitting opposite Jiayin while eating.

"Haha, your expression is really cute."

"No...no..." He scratched his cheek out of habit.

"Well, never mind. Let's finish eating quickly. I have somewhere else I want you to go with me."

...............................

Because it was already late when we arrived at the restaurant, it was around three in the afternoon when we finished our meal. The temperature had risen a little at this time, and the sunshine on our bodies still made us feel somewhat comfortable.

"Are we going to your house?" I asked Jiayin who was leading the way.

"Yes, but now it should be called the original home."

She spoke in a nonchalant tone... I think she was just pretending to be calm. I don't know what happened to her family, but when faced with something filled with memories, it's natural that she would feel a lot of emotions.

...........................

"arrive."

Jiayin told me briefly and then stopped.

However, I didn't see any buildings... No, there should be buildings here, but now I don't know what project has been launched, and this place has been surrounded by iron plates and has become an area under construction.

The roar of machines continued to come from the construction site, as if announcing something.

I think it's a sign of someone's memory being shattered. It's impossible to ever see their childhood home again.

"Well... let's go. You can see... this place has become... it's already like this. And there might be danger, like falling objects from high places or something, right?"

I looked at Jiayin, whose face looked a little strange, and felt a little at a loss.

"Hey, Sheji." When saying this, Jiayin bit her lip, wondering if she was holding back tears.

"Well, I'm here."

"Why..." She muttered to herself as she approached the iron fence with the words "Be careful" printed on it.

"Why can't I find the things that carry my memories? I just want to take one more look...why..."

Why... Because everything changes with time, even memories.

Because we can't keep anything, we want to keep it.

Memories are fleeting, and the things we remember can no longer be reproduced. Whether it is our memories or our original ideals, if we leave them unattended for too long, they will gradually decay.

However, when I wanted to fix it, I found that the opportunity to fix it was already lost. This feeling...

"it does not matter."

I reached out and touched Jiayin's head...even though it felt a little inappropriate in this place.

"Memories don't disappear, they just get forgotten temporarily, just like when you put your things randomly and can't find them when you want to find them. Those seemingly forgotten memories are actually still in your mind and have never disappeared."

Jiayin didn't say anything.

"Actually, I didn't recognize you when I first saw you, but when I heard those words, all my seemingly forgotten memories came back. And now when I think back on those things, it feels like they just happened... So, don't worry about your increasingly blurred memory. Sometimes all it takes is a few words to awaken those precious memories. Right?"

In response to my speech and questions, Jiayin shook her head.

"That's not the case..."

"Good news?"

"Memories... I have always kept them in mind and will not... I will never forget them." She said with her head still lowered.

“........” I don’t know what to say.

"But... I just want to look at the things in my memory. Whether it's the words I wrote or the places I once lived, these memories are clearly in my mind, so why can't I find them..."

"It's okay. Remember when I said we should change together? We've changed a lot compared to our past selves, and we'll continue to change. Other things are changing just like us..."

"Don't say anymore..." Jiayin quickly wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes with her sleeve, "It's okay, it's just sand in my eyes... It's quite dusty here... Let's get going quickly."

As he said this, he walked away quickly.

Isn't it because of the blurred memory but because of the changes in things that I shed tears for...

I shook my head and quickly followed Jiayin.

....................

Then Jiayin and I went to the amusement park again...the one we had been to with Xiaoye, Liu Yan and others.

Looking at Jiayin's relaxed brows and her smile while playing on various amusement facilities, one really would think that the tears she shed not long ago were caused by sand in her eyes.

But it definitely won't be that simple... Jiayin...maybe she is stronger than I thought.

.........................

"Are you going back?" Jiayin asked me.

It was already around eight o'clock in the evening, and I sent Jiayin to the door of Brother Nan's apartment.

There was no light in the room, it seemed that Brother Nan had not returned yet.

"Well, it's getting late after all... Did you get your keys?"

I asked with a little concern.

"Yes. Don't worry."

As she spoke, she smiled at me again, and the smile looked particularly pure under the light of the street lamp.

"...Well, then, I'm leaving."

"The country." Jiayin called me after I turned around.

"Huh?" I turned around, but before I could adjust my vision, Jiayin suddenly hugged me.

It was a big hug.

"Thank you for today," Jiayin said to me. "Sheji, you've always been very reliable. It was like that when we first met, and it was like that during the time we spent together. You've always been very reliable."

“........Ahhh…” I was so shocked that I couldn’t utter a word…and I didn’t know what to say at all.

"Although you say you've changed a lot, but... well, I feel that no matter what, you're still the Sheji I know. You won't change no matter what, at least in my heart."

“…” I stood there in a daze.

"Goodbye then." Jiayin said, letting go of me and leaving quickly.

...This feeling... No way...

I reached out and touched my cheek...it was hot.

It's only natural at this point...

Could it be that my old love has rekindled... Well, how is that possible?

Maybe... maybe I'm just simply worried about her.

Thinking this, I set out on my way home.

【True Title】

The true feelings are self-evident

[Easter eggs?]

[I hope to be able to meet the person I love again one day. When that time comes, I will definitely tell him my feelings, no matter what the outcome.]