Anime, starting from Re:Zero (Zero - Starting Life)

"As a hired tutor, I really shouldn't say such things. But Rudy, I don't want you to become the kind of person you're currently dissatisfied with and disgusted with. Didn't you say that the Knight always taught you how disgusting the nobles of Asura were, and how much he hated them? But, how different is he from the nobles he hated when he committed small-scale crimes and indulged himself? I remember you said, 'Don't do evil, no matter how small.' Please at least don't forget what you said."

Teacher Luo Qixi continued:

"As your teacher, I'm not really worried about you because of this situation, Rudy. I believe that even if the outcome isn't satisfactory, you'll be able to pull through and thrive with resilience. What I'm worried about is that the family tragedy will change your original aspirations."

Rudeus burst into laughter:

"Thank you, Teacher Luo Qixi, I will keep it in mind."

That's indeed the case, Rudius then realized that he actually wanted to forgive Paul and his father, because he always felt that Paul had awakened, corrected himself, and was working hard, just like himself.

But, just as someone else's grave sins don't make my own small sins harmless, my desire to atone for my sins doesn't mean I can forgive others' sins, right? These are two different things, right?

I used to think that as long as I forgave my father, my sins would be forgiven as well.

So, I will not forgive him.

I can't forgive him.

Of course, only as a son.

I will only forgive him if he takes responsibility, atones for his sins, gets punished, gets forgiven, and sets an example as a father should.

But as a son, I should also help him in this process, and I want to help him.

Rudeus thought so.

But his abdomen couldn't help but churn.

Gawain threw him out of the window, and after Rudius finished vomiting and rinsing his mouth, he pulled him back and gave him a basic detoxification shot.

Rudeus smiled awkwardly:

"Sorry, I'm a little stressed."

No one had any objections, but Teacher Roxy seemed a little hurt, probably thinking that Rudeus said that after listening to her thoughts.

At this time, it was Sylphy who raised her hand:

"Uncle Paul's crime should be handled by the judge, right? I don't quite understand, but I feel like Aunt Senesi is really innocent."

[Note: The author feels that this viewpoint is only suitable for Sylphy, who knows nothing about the law, the unspoken rules of society, and only understands simple public order and good customs.]

Everyone was a little surprised.

Sylphy and Seness's relationship was so close that they almost recognized each other as godmothers. Who would have thought that this little girl would be the first to attack the kind aunt who was clearly the victim:

"Rudy just said it, Uncle Paul has been bullying Aunt Lilia for years, even when Aunt Senese was around. When I used to go to Rudy's house, I'd often see Uncle Paul touching Aunt Lilia's butt or breasts. I thought he was just joking, so Aunt Senese would sometimes pretend to be angry and sometimes ignore him."

"But that's actually...cooperation? Anyway, it's a bad thing!"

Sylphy mumbled and repeated the unfamiliar words that Rudy had mentioned before, but she couldn't remember the specific pronunciation.

"Aunt Senes must have known that was wrong, right? But why didn't she stop it? She and Aunt Lilia are very close, aren't they? Uncle Paul usually respects and fears her, isn't he?"

"Also, Auntie Senesi told me that she is a follower of the Miris religion and she also explained some of its teachings to me. Even though I only know a little bit, I understand that what Auntie Senesi did is against both the teachings and the law."

"She must be at fault for shielding her husband's reckless behavior!"

After making this declaration with great vigor.

Sylphy's momentum instantly collapsed. She raised a finger and made a promise with everyone:

"But...but you can't tell Auntie Senesi about this right now, okay? If she gets upset, it might hurt the baby in her belly."

Everyone couldn't help laughing.

This made little Sylphy blush with dissatisfaction.

Rudius also gradually calmed down.

What? It seems to be true.

Then our family should really apologize to Miss Lilia and make amends to her as much as possible so that she will not continue to suffer from the hurt she experienced in the past or new hurts.

It turns out I don't understand it as well as Sylphy.

They are clearly from a civilized society, but maggots are still maggots.

I have known and felt that my father's behavior was not good for a long time. If I were just an ordinary child, these things would not be my business, but I am a NEET who is almost forty years old and wants to atone for my sins and change.

So, I also have a share of responsibility.

Rudeus smiled:

"Thank you everyone, I feel much better now. I'll go home and have a good talk with my family after bothering you for one night."

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

Only Gao Wen was still struggling with another problem.

Chapter 42 Big Brother (Seeking Tickets)

night.

After washing up, Rudius came to the guest room wearing old pajamas that Gawain could no longer wear.

When Rudeus first met Gawain, Gawain and Sylphy lived in this slightly small room.

However, the layout of this room was completely different from when Rudeus first saw it. Gawain and Sylphy's old things had been moved out, and the interior of the room had been rearranged, becoming a monotonous style similar to that of a fast hotel. Even the sheets and pillows had been replaced with new plain ones.

But when Rudius came in, the empty desk by the window was already occupied, and it was Gawain sitting there.

Rudeus was a little curious:

"Brother Gao Wen, do you have anything to say to me?"

In the previous conversation between the four people, only Gao Wen did not express his personal opinion throughout the whole process, but everyone was not surprised. When talking about similar topics in the past, Gao Wen usually just listened without speaking, and it seemed that he did not have many opinions or ideas.

Gao Wen nodded and admitted:

"Almost. And I'll sleep with you tonight."

Rudeus almost blushed, no, he blushed like a bubble teapot. He was just a little surprised. He didn't expect that his relationship with Brother Gawain was so good that he was willing to spend one less night sleeping with his sister.

After closing the door, Rudius, as a Japanese, was quite familiar with the plot of brothers sleeping together. When he was still living a normal life, he often had night talks with his eldest brother, or took his younger brothers to talk and rest as an older brother.

Rudeus sat down on the bed and asked curiously:

"What does Brother Gao Wen want to say?"

Gao Wen directly exposed:

"Rudeus, you don't really want to go back, do you? A battle without fighting spirit cannot be won."

Rudeus smiled bitterly and said:

"But I can't run away. If I run away now, I'll probably become a useless person, unable to move forward, hiding in my room forever."

In Gawain's memory, Rudius had no such experience, but since he said it, then let it be. Gawain continued to explain:

"Stupid, if you don't have the fighting spirit, then you should have it."

"There are two reasons why you're hesitant. First, you think you've figured out your thoughts, but you haven't. Second, you still have problems with your own positioning."

Even Gawain could see this. To be more precise, in his opinion, Rudeus's current predicament was no different in essence from research or combat.

If you don’t have the confidence to write down the answer, it must be because your previous thinking was lacking.

If you don't have the courage to fight a battle that you are sure to win, there must be something wrong with your understanding of your own strength.

To Gao Wen, this was common sense.

Gao Wen said frankly:

"I can't help you with the first point. I only know that you want to keep your life the same as it was yesterday, or even better. However, you can't pretend that what happened last night and today didn't happen, and you can't expect your family to ignore it."

"But I can help you with the second point. Rather, Rudeus, we've already discussed this topic over two years ago. I've never heard of someone completely forgetting important knowledge in just two years."

Rudeus smiled helplessly:

"No, Brother Gao Wen, it's normal for ordinary people to forget what they learned yesterday."

Gao Wen did not refute:

"But you are not an ordinary person, are you, Rudeus? What I want to remind you is that you are being self-righteous and humble again."

"Even your so-called determination not long ago was intended to use your own power to reshape this matter into the way you wanted it, wasn't it? Even in the process of reshaping, you will follow a method that you believe is respectful to Senis, Paul, and Lilia, and is also in accordance with the laws of the Kingdom of Asura and the canon of Milis."

Rudeus didn't quite understand:

"At least this time, this is the kind of thinking that any normal person should have, right? Respect family, respect the law, and respect religious teachings?"

It seemed like this was the first time Gawain smiled at Rudeus alone, but this smile was different from the one he showed to Sylphy, Roxy, or everyone else. It was a smile that didn't seem to belong to the concept of "human," a smile of superiority.

"But you can disrespect them, right? Normal people respect the rules of the world because they need to submit to them in order to be protected by them. But, Rudeus, ask yourself, are you truly respecting the rules in your plan?"

"You're just respecting yourself."

"Even if you trample on one or more of the things you want to respect, you can definitely reshape the life you want, right? Feeling guilty can be remedied later, right? It would be simpler and less stressful, and wouldn't make you want to run away or give up."

"You find it difficult only because you are fighting against yourself, right?"

"You couldn't listen to the entire family meeting, couldn't hear Paul's subsequent remarks, couldn't see Senis's reactions, couldn't see Lilia's reactions. Isn't it because you refuse to accept their personal opinions? All you want is for them to behave the way you want them to."

"Admit it, Rudeus."

"You have grown into a strong person with your true self, you just haven't fully awakened yet."

"I don't know where you get the idea that everyone is equal. But in this world, that notion is undoubtedly wrong. If that weren't the case, why would swordsmen work so hard to train? Why would magicians study so hard? Aren't we all striving to become stronger than the others? If everyone is equal, then wouldn't becoming stronger be impossible?"

"But I agree with part of your point. The vast majority of the so-called powerful people in this world have no value in existence. Their value is far less than that of honest farmers working the land. They make no contribution to civilization or the future."

"Rudeus, you are different."

"Your existence can bring immense value to the advancement of civilization. You can propel civilization forward. You are a strong being. Your life is more important than any other life, and your will is more important than any other life."

"This is a fact, you should accept it, but don't be disturbed or affected by it."

"This is a natural byproduct of becoming stronger."

"According to your moral values, Rudeus, if you cannot understand and master the great power you possess, if you cannot control and manage your own powerful nature, then you do not deserve the power you have now."

"I respect you, Rudeus. If you are unable to become a strong person and accept yourself as a strong person, I will help you abolish your enormous magic power."

"I allow you to escape, Rudeus."

"You can become the person you imagine yourself to be, a weak person who submits to the rules and is struggling with how to face the unbearable true face of her family."

"I promise you, Rudeus."

"Even so, you will get the life you want."

Rudeus showed a polite and cheerful smile:

"That's not possible, Brother Gao Wen."

"I've practiced so hard to get to where I am today, I won't give up."

"Yes, I won't run away."

Rudeus finally figured it out.

He did not completely agree with what Gao Wen said, but at least Gao Wen was right in part.

He ran away simply because he couldn't accept Paul's actions. He felt that Paul's sudden confession would destroy the family, even if it was right, but he couldn't accept Paul destroying the family he recognized and cared about without his permission. It was that simple.

Thank you, Brother Gao Wen.

Even though I am older than you, you are my elder brother.

The next day, Paul surrendered himself in Roya City.

Chapter 43: Marriage

The news was very abrupt.

I guess everyone who knows about this will be shocked.

According to Senis and Lilia, Paul just came home last night and mentioned that he would not be going home that night, then changed into his usual patrol clothes and left again. They thought that Paul planned to guard the door of Roltz's house all night.

As a result, Paul walked all night to the city of Roya, and as soon as the noble court of Fitoya opened, he applied for a guilty plea trial in the name of the junior noble Paul Greylat.

The person is still being detained in court.