The North American Gourmet Demon Handbook

"If I didn't know you well, I would have thought you were provoking the Church, Julio."

Julio was choked with anger and took a deep breath.

Then he patiently said, "Observe carefully the way Agent Mackenzie looks at Li! She often stares at Li in a daze! That look of love and hate, entangled and unable to stop! It's definitely nothing else but the look a woman gives a man!"

"I'm telling you, there's absolutely no mistake. I've seen plenty of those looks from infatuated men and women in nightclubs!"

Julio was almost swearing.

"Yes, yes, even during the Fern Town operation, you ran out and got drunk, and luckily escaped the FBI's heaviest operation to date. Of course you know that, and what you said makes the most sense."

Lopez's perfunctory attitude was superficial, just like he was sending away a naughty kid from a relative's family.

Julio was furious: "Fuck you! I can't talk to you Catholic faggots who only know how to fuck little boys!"

"If it were the Middle Ages, this sentence would be enough to send you to the stake. At least I would throw my gloves in your face." Lopez took a deep puff of his cigar, exhaled the smoke slowly, and then said lightly.

"Praise the great federal government! Praise modern civilization! Praise democracy! Praise freedom! You pre-modern antiques who can't even understand a woman's eyes should have been swept into the dustbin of history long ago!"

Agent Julio looked pissed.

"Huh, the garbage dump of history?" Agent Lopez looked at Agent Julio coldly.

"Isn't it? You've already been consigned to the dustbin of history! Even the Democratic Party is more like the Catholic Church than you!"

"Did you come to work drunk last night? What nonsense are you talking about?" Lopez was amused.

"If you don't believe me, I'll count for you!" Julio angrily counted on his fingers.

"When it comes to spreading ideology, the Democratic Party is greater than the Catholic Church. If you disagree, take a look at what the global media is discussing right now: Catholic ideology or Democratic ideology?"

Lopez puffed slowly on his cigar and sneered, "Far-fetched, what else?"

"The Democratic Party is more powerful than the Catholic Church in launching the Crusades."

"Crusaders? What drunken talk are you talking about?" The Argentine even forgot to smoke his cigar.

"When did the last crusade launched by the Catholic Church take place? Was it the fall of Rhodes in 1521?"

"It was in 1683, when His Majesty Pope Innocent XI funded the Polish-Austrian coalition to relieve the siege of Vienna," Lopez corrected.

"Okay, even if it's 1683, that's over 300 years ago! And what about the Democratic Party? Not counting the minor Arab Spring incidents, it was still 1961!"

"1961?"

"The Vietnam War was a war that brought no strategic benefit to the United States. In short, it was a crusade launched by Democratic President Kennedy to spread democracy!"

"That does make some sense. The Vietnam War is indeed like the Crusades." Lopez couldn't help but nod.

Julio pressed the issue, "Asking you white people to atone for oppressing black people, even if you're Argentinian, is that like the Vatican selling indulgences?"

"That's really not something you, a person of color, should say," Lopez said with a laugh.

“That’s not something a white person can say,” Julio scoffed.

But after what Julio said next, Lopez couldn't laugh anymore.

“Isn’t elevating George Floyd, a criminal, into an idol similar to the martyrdom of Jesus and the ascension of the Son of God?”

"I demand that you take back what you said." The knight of the Holy See said in a firm tone.

The federal agent was not to be outdone: "The Democratic Party and the Catholic Church have as much in common as you could wish for."

"Cardinal families have held the cardinalate position for generations, and Democratic political families have held the senator position for generations."

"Only you grassroots fools believe in God, not the top leaders. Only grassroots voters believe in the Democratic Party's ideology, not the top leaders."

"I demand that you take back what you said." The knight of the Holy See repeated in a stiff tone.

The federal agent remained unmoved. He stretched out his palm, and then, one, two, three, four, five, he bent five fingers in sequence and clenched his hand into a fist.

"Let's see. Missionaries, indulgences, cardinals, the Assumption of the Son of God, the Crusades... let's see what's missing... What do you think the Democratic Party is if not the Catholic Church?"

"So, the Church of the New Age hasn't declined at all. They control America, the kingdom of heaven on earth—oh, not in the past four years."

Having said that, Julio slapped his forehead and extended an index finger from his fist.

"That's right! Even for playing with little boys, the Democrats set up an Epstein Island. Isn't that a priest's confessional?"

At this time, the Vatican's knight Lopez finally couldn't bear it anymore and punched Julio in the face.

"It's fine if you insult the Democratic Party, but why insult the Vatican? The Democratic Party is the Catholic Church, so what is the Republican Party?"

Julio elbowed Lopez in the chest. "Damn it! Of course the Republican Party is just a bunch of messed-up Protestantism! America is full of those Calvinist barbecue maniacs. Isn't the KKK's stake a descendant of Calvin? It just so happens they're also Reformed by heritage!"

The two men quickly started fighting each other.

Author's words: Thanks to Yuansheng Laji for the reward, urging votes and recommendation votes

Thanks to book friends 30600563, Polar Bear, and Little Apple 112633 for their recommendation votes

207 Test

Of course, Li Shanze didn't know that Kate was driving on the way, nor did he know that a fight was breaking out in Kate's office.

At this time, he had just left the carriage and was supporting the old knight with a broken knee and moving towards the old knight's house.

It was a small stone hut.

The square hut made of gray sandstone is close to the edge of the oak forest, and the gaps in the wall are filled with rye straw to resist the winter wind and frost.

The stalks still retain the golden color of harvest, as if time had been coated with beeswax.

The golden color also dilutes the cold green color of the walls, preventing the cottage from being too cold in late winter.

However, after making his guess, Li Shanze always felt that there was something else behind the "natural" indentations in the gray sandstone on the stone walls of the cottage.

The crooked lines formed by the indentations looked like some kind of witchcraft circle.

It's a pity that Charlie isn't here.

Li Shanze, who knew nothing about witchcraft, once again had this thought in his mind.

There is a cast iron cross nailed to the door lintel. Although the translucent parts reveal that the owner of the room often wipes and maintains it, there are some spots of rust on Jesus Christ on the cross, which looks darker than the bloodstains.

The door was not locked. Li Shanze supported the old knight and slowly pushed open the oak door, which was made particularly heavy to prevent wind.

The moment Li Shanze opened the door, a raven's tail feather slowly fell before his eyes.

"Ah, it seems no one visited me today." The old knight looked at the raven feather and took the initiative to explain.

It looked as if the old knight had arranged the feathers himself.

Li Shanze felt that the old knight exerted force subconsciously.

He wanted to bend down to pick up the feather, but immediately realized his current situation and pulled back his strength.

When he went out to arrange the crow feathers on the door lintel, he certainly didn't expect that when he came back he would not be able to bend down and pick it up again.

The old knight was very optimistic. "No, to be exact, you are the first visitor today. Welcome to my home in Lanchester County, Mr. Agent."

The furniture in the room is very simple, but it is kept clean, simple and refreshing.

The table and chairs were made of ash wood, and on the table lay a Bible.

A single bed, a fireplace, and a stone-hewn shrine.

There are also three clay pots on the windowsill, with some flowers and plants in them. That's all this simple room has.

In any case, it is hard to see where $200,000 in cash could be hidden in this simple and plain little house.

Especially since the old knight never locks the door when he goes out, even if he has cash, it probably won’t last for a few days.

While Li Shanze was looking at the layout of the room, he supported the old knight, helped him to the bed and made him sit steadily.

"You refuse to go to the clinic, so what are you going to do with your knee? Is there a surgeon in the Amish village who can treat your knee injury?" Li Shanze asked proactively.

"It's okay. I just need to pray to the Lord. As long as I get the Lord's favor, this little injury will heal on its own." The old knight answered naturally. It didn't sound like a broken knee, but more like a cut on his hand by a knife.

Li Shanze understood the old knight's wit.

Although the old knight sounded like a foolish and devout fanatic, what he really wanted to say was that as long as his holy light returned, he could use it to heal his knee.

Li Shanze just didn't quite understand why the old knight suddenly started beating around the bush instead of speaking directly.

At this moment, the old knight suddenly began to recite the scriptures: "After Moses received the Ten Commandments on Mount Sinai, his face shone with light from his conversation with God. The Israelites dared not look directly at him, so they had to cover his face with a veil."

Li Shanze looked at the old knight warily, not knowing what was wrong with him. He was mentally prepared for another fight - to be more precise, ever since he came to this village, Li Shanze had been mentally prepared to fight his way out.

"Alas, you are indeed an unbeliever. This is the description of the Exodus in the Old Testament." The old knight sighed, still looking like a preacher. "It talks about how Moses saw the Lord and then became like the sun, shining on its own."

What kind of riddle is this? Could the Riddler please get out of Philadelphia?

Wait, I remember this old man said he didn't like the Old Testament... and here he suddenly brings up the Old Testament, saying his face is like the sun and he covers his face with a veil...

No, the statement that Moses' face was like the sun was his own creation. In fact, there was no such statement in the original text that he recited.

Uh, do you mean draw the curtains to block out the sun?

Li Shanze looked at the three pots of plants on the windowsill and the dark blue curtains hanging beside them.

Li Shanze thought of the moment when the snowdrops collectively saluted the carriage when they entered the village.

This made Li Shanze suspect that there were wizards from the Genmanmi sect in this village.

So Li Shanze stood up calmly, walked to the window naturally, pulled up the curtain, covered the window, and also covered the three pots of plants.

"Ha, that's right. Now I don't have to worry about anyone eavesdropping." The old knight's voice was obviously relieved and showed a bit of joy.

"You are such a bright young man. Don't you really want to join the church and experience the Lord's grace?"

Li Shanze ignored the old knight's nonsense to persuade him to join the church, and instead asked, "Did you know that someone was eavesdropping on you, or was it through these pots of flowers?"

"I don't know." The old knight said calmly, "I've just lived here for twenty years, so I have my doubts about some things."

"Twenty years have passed, long enough for me to know that if I want to say something that is inconvenient for others to hear, it is best to draw the curtains." The old knight smiled.

"Don't you mind being monitored?" Li Shanze asked in disbelief.

"My life is very simple. I preach, meditate, reflect, pray, chant scriptures, practice martial arts, and help villagers. I never forget the Lord's teachings for a moment."

"I live a gospel life with a clear conscience. What can't I tell others about or show them?"

The old knight answered frankly.

"Does it also include the two hundred thousand US dollars you embezzled through smuggling and the inexplicable tithes paid by residents?" Li Shanze sneered.

"I've said it before, these are gifts from the Lord. I haven't taken a single cent." The old knight remained calm. "So using them to overcome the Lord's test is only fitting."

"However, before I give you the money, I need to confirm a few questions with you." The old knight said seriously.

"I don't think you can hide money in this little house, let alone $200,000." Li Shanze shook his head, "I want to see the money first."

Although finding out the details of this place has become Li Shanze's top priority, he still pretends to be greedy and eager for money.

Showing false vulnerability is never a bad thing.

"Oh, so, we need to recite the scriptures. For example, the Gospel of Matthew."

The old knight sighed deeply, then began to recite scriptures to himself.

“Do not store up treasures for yourselves on earth, where moth and rust consume, and where thieves break in and steal; but store up treasures for yourselves in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes, and where thieves do not break in and steal.”

After he finished reading this passage, he heard the creaking sound of gears turning above his head.

Immediately afterwards, green dollars fluttered down.

In this small ascetic-like house with few pieces of furniture, a green snow began to fall.

Although every snowflake is the same size, there are many different styles of snowflakes.

Not just Benjamin Franklin, but Ulysses S. Grant, Andrew Johnson, Alexander Hamilton, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, and George Washington.

Green snowflakes soon covered the table, piled up on the bedside, and fell all over the floor.

This simple little house of a hermit is filled with the stench of money.

"I'm sorry, but a large portion of it comes from tithes, so the denominations are different," the old knight apologized without any sincerity. "But two hundred thousand dollars, no more, no less. They are yours now."

"How about you answer a few questions for me while you're free to collect the 'Dead President'?" The old knight smiled. "Just consider it a favor, okay?"

This old guy is not very honest. He didn't tell me before that the money would be scattered like this and I have to pick it up myself.

What is this, humiliating others for fun? Is this still chivalry?

Li Shanze narrowed his eyes.