A journey into an infinite dimension

"But this matter is my fault. I accidentally held you to my level."

"So, we can put an end to this ritual. Since I can't control it, becoming stronger will only cause trouble for myself."

However, what she said made it impossible for Kaya (Yukisaki) to feel happy at all because of her praise.

Miss Ge Jiuye, is there any way to regain control of this cursed spirit?

However, in this situation, Kaya (Yukisaki) did not end the ceremony immediately out of haste, because he knew very well that once the ceremony was completed, nothing could be salvaged.

Only while the connection still exists does he have the qualifications to do anything.

————In the final analysis, I am just too weak.

If it were Lord Gaya, there might not have been a situation where this creation got out of control.

Gritting her teeth slightly, Kaye [Xuesaki] thought unwillingly.

[Well, based on the remaining level of contact, there is a way to try it out, but it's quite risky for you.]

Looking at Kayeh [Yukisaki]'s mood at the moment, Kakuye blinked her deep and boundless eyes and said lightly.

[As long as we prevent this cursed spirit from being born as an independent individual, we can regain control of it.]

The specific method is to make you the core of this cursed spirit, so that this cursed spirit can possess you. In simple terms, it means becoming a "jinchūriki" or "living spirit."

[However, to achieve this, you first need to make physical contact with the cursed spirit while it's still in its fetal state, then establish conscious contact with it, and resist all the negative emotions that are nurturing it. This is the prerequisite.]

[Although I can help you digest most of your negative emotions, the remaining small amount is meaningless if you don't handle it yourself.]

As the one leading this ritual, you should be well aware of the immense amount of negative emotions that nurtured this cursed spirit. Therefore, even though it's only a small portion, given your mental strength, the probability of success is essentially negligible. Furthermore, if you fail, the immense weight of 'death' will crush your mind, ultimately leading to either mental debility or madness.

Even so, do you still want to do it?

'...'

Hearing this, Kaya (Yukisaki) fell silent.

The probability of success is extremely small, and the consequences of failure are equally serious. No normal person would agree to this completely unequal risk and success rate.

Even though his pride would not allow him to do so and he was unwilling to let this matter end in such a failure, his emotions, rationality and reality made him end the ceremony immediately and minimize the losses.

It's all because I'm too weak...

Although I am very unwilling, I am just an ordinary person after all, an ordinary weak person.

Even though his silver teeth had bitten his lips and the taste of blood soaked his tongue, he was completely unaware. The pride that was inevitably generated by surviving that extremely risky training, successfully mastering part of Jiaye's power, and having the qualifications to perform this ceremony alone, was now shattered by his full powerlessness and unwillingness.

Something in her heart seemed to be fading away as the connection faded. The light in her eyes gradually dimmed and Kaya [Yukisaki] slowly changed her hand seals, preparing to end this ritual that was doomed to fail.

However----

[However, if you succeed, you will be able to possess your own power even without relying on the power left by Jiaye.]

Intentionally or unintentionally, as if it was just a casual sigh, Ge Jiuye's words rang softly in Jiaye (Xuesaki)'s mind, causing him to suddenly pause in the movement of his hands.

'What's the meaning......?'

[After all, Jiaye's body doesn't need this kind of possession, so the object I've chosen to possess is your soul and consciousness. Therefore, even if you return to your original body, this power will not disappear.]

Where Kaye (Yukisaki) couldn't see, a hint of success appeared at the corner of her mouth, and Kakuye said with a smile.

"This is the prerequisite for truly embarking on this path, but—well, don't worry about it. Let's finish the ceremony quickly. The longer you delay, the bigger the trouble you'll face later."

'...'

The prerequisite for truly embarking on this path; the power that belongs only to me————?

In an instant, countless memories of the past when he had to compromise himself and succumb to reality because he did not have enough strength suddenly surged up from the depths of his mind.

————She had been facing the world of vengeful spirits since she was a child. Even though she was the second daughter of the Xing Zhihua family and possessed huge financial resources and power, these worldly things could not have any effect on the vengeful spirits. Therefore, her life was never as perfect and complete as outsiders imagined.

Basically, he has experienced everything that Yuri has experienced in that world, and because he can also see some things that Yuri cannot see, which are higher-level and more terrifying, his life has never been good.

If he didn't have a sister who trusted him and loved him deeply, he would have gone crazy long ago.

The reason for all this, apart from his natural eyes, was more because he was too weak.

All tragedies are caused by the lack of ability of the parties involved.

And now, an opportunity to gain power is before Kaya (Yukisaki), even if the possibility of success is slim; even if the consequence of failure is death, but life is a gamble called "choice".

Take a different path, make different choices, and then take responsibility for those choices.

Different people may have different opinions on this, but Kaye (Yukisaki) believes that life is a gamble.

From not knowing what impact passing through the body of a vengeful spirit would have on oneself, to facing the harassment of a vengeful spirit, what countermeasures should be taken to escape safely.

He has been playing a game with reality all along, and every bet is his destiny.

He has never lost, so he has come to this day and encountered the biggest gamble he has ever encountered in his life.

Therefore, he is faced with two choices at this moment.

Ignore Ge Jiuye's words, end the ceremony immediately and find a way to deal with the uncontrolled cursed spirit.

as well as---

"Miss Kakuye, do I need to end the ritual to contact the cursed spirit?"

Although losing the bet would be a disaster, Kaya (Yukisaki) never gambles without a chance of winning.

Even if he has to make a choice, he will create a chance of winning for himself, even if it is only a tiny bit, but it is definitely not 'zero'.

[Conclude the ritual, then summon "Motara God." Within five seconds of the ritual, if you encounter the cursed fetus of the cursed spirit, leave the rest to me and your own will.]

With the corners of his mouth rising more and more and a hint of recognition flashing in his eyes, Kakuye said to Kaya (Yukisaki).

Then.

After getting the correct steps, Kaya (Yukisaki) took a deep breath, and the seals in his hands began to change rapidly, while he also chanted the ending blessing softly.

"———〈Use fear as your body and hatred as your spirit, and reveal your true nature to all spirits〉———"

"———<In the name of the God of the Underworld, please appear>———"

"————<Izanami>————"

Chapter 284: How Do You Want to Die? [Want to Die Once?]

who I am………

There is no light

There is no temperature

Invisible to the eyes

Deaf ears

The body cannot feel anything other than cold and wet

unable to move

Unable to speak

Unable to blink

In a world filled with cold liquid, like the bottom of the deep sea, there is a thought that sways weakly like a candle in the wind.

It’s so hard… to bear…

My mind is blank

There is only nothingness in memory

Only numbness remains in consciousness

The spirit felt a tearing pain

In the soul, countless 'deaths' are repeated and replayed over and over again.

starve

撑死

累死

痛死

Laugh

Crying

Killed by a knife

Stabbed to death

strangled by a rope

Killed by an axe

quilt-----

Countless deaths, over and over again, are played out as if they were personal experiences.

There is no end, no destination, only endless repetition, repetition, repetition...

Can't get used to it

Unable to adapt

Can't refuse

Unable to escape

I can only accept it numbly and feel it stiffly.

Unable to truly die, and unable to give up.

Why………

Why can't you give up?

Why can't I die?

Why do we need to experience these?

Why can't we choose to escape?

[Because you have the obsession to do this.]

In the blank mind, a touch of color gradually spreads and blooms.

Who are you……

【First, remember who you are. 】

who I am?

[You've already started to remember who you are, haven't you?]

I am, me?

[Yes, you are not someone else, you are you. ]

who are you?

【I am you, the one who is experiencing all this. 】

————No… It’s so scary… So painful… So lonely… So cold…

I'm with you.

I'm so scared...I don't want to die...

【No one really wants to die, but death is not something to be afraid of.】

You lied——

【After death, you won’t feel anything.】

【Whether it is the pain before death. 】

[It's still the so-called nothingness, coldness and loneliness. ]

These are things that can only be felt while alive.