Shadow of the Evil God

"This example is too extreme." She glanced back.

Cesar followed her to the top of the wall. "I know that, but I think Garcia can explain a lot." He thought for a moment and added, "What do you think of your profession?"

"It's none of your business what I think."

"I just want to know. Can you just treat it as me seeking knowledge as a student? My good teacher. Or should I call you my good sister?"

"Okay, which period?"

"Can you tell me about the beginning?"

"At first, you can't just sit back and kill your own kind. After all, you don't know anyone and have no grudges against them. But you still have to fight them, hacking and stabbing with your sword, making yourself and your horse covered in blood. When you hear the sound of artillery fire, you have to disperse and move forward, watching in horror as some people suddenly become fragmented and scattered all over the ground, hoping that the next one is not you. When you return to the camp after the battle, some people are mentally traumatized, while others can adapt..."

The mercenary captain fell silent, leaning against the battlement of the city wall and gazing at the gray sky, his scattered red hair fluttering like a flag in the cold wind.

"Then I guess I can't find a reason to make myself more resolute," Cesar said, breaking the silence. "Garcia's case is indeed extreme, as if people use nation, faith, honor, and merit as justification to do anything. But maybe that's just how it is. Once you find the right reason to convince yourself, bleeding becomes easy. The stronger your resolve, the sharper the knife in your hand, and the easier it is to pierce someone's body."

"It seems like you've never given an impassioned speech to anyone. The only time you cooperated with the high priest, you looked a little dry," said Cecilia.

"I lie all the time, but it's always...for myself," Cesar defended.

Seeing him trying to find ways to defend himself, Cecilia suddenly smiled. Her smile was bright, and an inscrutable glint shone in her azure eyes. "You're so clever, Cesar. You always find a way to question the things others have dedicated their lives to, as if those passionate speeches were all lies to you. But if you constantly doubt and question everything, where will you end up?" she asked.

"I thought you wanted to discuss this with me, teacher, since you yourself sound like you're not standing anywhere."

"If you're just trying to make a living, then you don't need it," she said, spreading one hand. "Because I'm just a mercenary captain, I do things for money. Doing things for money means that sometimes you work for one side, sometimes you work for another. If you insist on finding some ideal or belief to convince yourself, and stand still, you're only asking for trouble."

"I understand."

"Now ask yourself, my good disciple, just ask yourself, what do you feel when you see the wreckage and the bodies scattered over there? Right now, at this moment."

Cesar met her gaze. "Honestly, I didn't feel a thing."

Chapter 71 I usually don’t count other people’s accounts

"At least you knew to wait until after the event before expressing your feelings," said Cecilia, her voice always full of inspiration. "Not bad, and worth encouraging."

"You are such a comforter."

"Comfort? I just don't have the habit of questioning other people's ideals and pursuits in life." The mercenary captain smiled with a hint of sarcasm.

"Is that so? You're the kind of person who's judging other people's beliefs the first time you meet them."

"Maybe it's prejudice." Cesar said to himself.

"You still know it's prejudice? Be nice to others, apprentice. It's not only swords that can hurt people. You can shake others with a few words, but if the listener can't get over it, then you are handing out

A murderous dagger."

......

The streets of Noyen were unbearably cold at night. A chilly wind howled over them, sending needle-like snowflakes cascading down from the depths of the leaden clouds. Snow covered the roads, and walking in areas where the snow was thick felt like wading through mud. With some effort, Cesar finally reached the temple gate, stepping his snow-soaked boots onto the slippery stone steps.

By the time we got there, it was completely dark, and we couldn't even see the moon. It's become increasingly quiet here lately, but perhaps "dead silence" would be a better word.

The wounded were already weak, and with the increasingly harsh climate of Noien, and the siege tightening supplies, many dying soldiers died in the night, unable to speak again. War, after all, is not a momentary affair. Even after a battle has passed, it will still come back to exact its due in the dead of night, unseen by anyone.

When the heavy snow passes, the moat connected to the Joshua River will be covered with extremely thick ice, and the situation will change drastically.

Apparently, Sean had summoned many people to the castle to discuss countermeasures. The temple was deserted, with only a few retainers still tending the few patients, resting against the wall. After Cesar arrived, he heard no one speak for a long time, as if he had entered a crypt. He wandered around the main hall for a while, feeling the passage of time stretch out until a monk still guarding the temple broke the silence.

"You really don't miss a single day, Lord Cesar. No one would want to go out on such a snowy day." He turned his head and saw Brother Kallen walking towards him in the hazy moonlight.

Perhaps because of the dimness and silence of the temple, Cesar's mind was slow, and he felt half asleep. It was a while before he realized he had misjudged her. The sky was overcast tonight, gloomy and dark, and naturally, there was no moonlight to speak of. But her long hair, usually loose and silvery, shone in the hazy moonlight filtering through the clouds. Now it was only slightly white, giving the impression that it was moonlight filtering in through the cracks in the window.

"In a day or two, the situation will be different," he replied. "Since I can still walk a few steps outside, I should cherish it."

"You don't seem as confident as the rumors say," said Kallen.

"Today's rumors, like the speeches in the square that day, were fabricated to appease the people."

"I heard that the facts are all correct. It was indeed you who refused to leave the city to fight, so none of the soldiers you recruited were harmed. It was also true that you taught those non-commissioned officers who were just trying to make a living more accurate artillery shooting skills, which allowed them to receive honors." Karen said again.

César studied her for a moment. When people retell a story, whether consciously or unconsciously, they often incorporate their own subjective opinions, but hers was the exact opposite—quite similar to the way he had used words to describe the structure of geometric figures a few nights ago.

This is difficult to describe. It gave him the feeling that her body was still in the world, but her soul had left it, just like a dead person leaving the living and no longer living in it.

"That's certainly true," Cesar said, "but a different narrator would give the story a different meaning. A while ago, you collected stories from defeated soldiers, and they thought I was a cowardly noble young man, so they naturally didn't believe Noyen's explanation to appease them. Now you see the decorated artillery captain, and the story came from them, so they'll naturally do their best to elevate my image."

"What about you?" Kallen asked.

"I'm not good at fighting on horseback, so of course I can't go out of the city to fight. There's no other complicated reason. I only know how to teach people mathematics and geometry. It's like grabbing a stone on the road and handing it to someone who stretches out their hand to ask for something."

“It sounds like you feel you’re being pressured,” she said.

"Indeed." Cesar shrugged. "I was just a kid who was pushed onto the stage. I didn't know anything. I could only pretend to be calm while singing everything I knew on the stage, regardless of whether it was appropriate or not."

Kallen narrowed her eyes slightly. "You always claim to be harmless and passive, but is that really the case? If you were harmless and passive, everyone in the world would be lifeless statues."

Cesar felt as if he were being cursed in a roundabout way.

"Have you ever insulted people who come to the temple in this way?" He did not get angry and asked directly.

Kallen shook her head slightly and said, "They only want to make me lose my place in reality, but you want to make me lose the place where my soul can be. Even if we are exiled alone in the wilderness and ruins, we can still have a silence in our hearts that is far away from the world. But if the soul is damaged, it cannot be saved no matter where we are in this world."

Cesar tutted and replied, "It seems I have committed a great sin in your case."

"Am I talking about good and evil?" Kallen said, "I personally don't like to judge others by good and evil. What I want to say is that most people desire to have authority and give orders to others, officers commanding soldiers, husbands commanding wives, parents commanding children, and so on. People

When they use authority to satisfy their desires, they need those who obey them to kneel down and show their obedience, so that they can feel the pleasure of stepping on others’ heads. Therefore, they always want to get something from the oppressed. Even murderers think they have the right to control others.

Life and death, and to get adequate response from the victims.”

"so?"

"But you're different."

"Am I different?"

Kallen nodded and said, "I've listened to your story for so long. I feel that you don't seem to have any concept of power or authority. You don't seem to want to gain anything through your outstanding abilities, or force others to obey you."

"That doesn't sound bad," Cesar said.

"But those who crave authority aren't as dangerous as you." Brother Kallen's expression remained calm. "You express doubt about everything. After your doubts, you try to see through others. Then, using your insights to express your doubts, you shake their once-firm beliefs, concepts, and pursuits. You don't seem to want to gain anything from this. You don't want to gain any authority, nor do you want to force them to submit to you. So, in my opinion, you simply want to destroy other people's ideas. You don't even take pleasure in it. You just feel that you should do it, and you can do it, so you do it."

Hearing this, Cesar thought not only of Gouzi, the Faceless One who had eaten him and made a pact with him, but also of Gouzi, her nature, and the pact he had once wanted to reverse. Even so, he didn't think Brother Kallen was entirely right.

Indeed, his first attitude toward things was skepticism, but he expressed skepticism not because he felt it was his duty, but because he wanted to uncover things that could not be doubted. Now that he had gradually reached his current status, he didn't feel anything special, because this change in identity was just a minor episode—he could go from his previous identity to the fictitious Count's son, Cesar, and of course he could also become the next fictitious identity.

To him, first and last names were merely interchangeable labels, as were the identities behind them. While this monk remained guarding this now meaningless temple, accepting his fate, he might have already earned knighthood in the Great Temple of Xiel, then departed from the Great Temple for his next destination, transitioning from a temple knight to an apprentice of the Origin Mage.

Sister Kallen couldn't see what was going on in his heart, nor did she know that he secretly felt that their personalities were completely opposite, like a needle and a thorn in the side of wheat. Of course, perhaps she had experienced many emotions like this in her heart, but if she hadn't, she wouldn't have been able to judge him so much - she was very perceptive.

Cesar shook his head.

"I heard you say yesterday that some of the wounded were more than just ill, at least not in a worldly sense. Could I get more details?" he asked. "I didn't see the person you mentioned in the main hall."

"Things involve a level beyond the mundane," said Kallen.

"The secular world is also part of this war." Cesar felt like he had been waiting to say this for a while. "During my time in the barracks, I dreamed one night of a man who looked like a beast. I felt this was a revelation, something I needed to explore."

"Aren't you a skeptic? Why do you believe in prophecies and revelations?"

"I didn't believe it before, but recently I think I should doubt my prejudice." Cesar said to her, and then began to tell her about the inexplicable disappearance of the military wizard.

He thought he would need some time to convince her, but she actually agreed.

"Since the siege is coming soon," Kallen said, "and since your own life is at stake, there's no need to say anything more. I'll just lead you there. At least you have no ill intentions in this matter. But I sense a lie in your words. If you need me again in the future, I'll remember this. I don't usually hold grudges against others."

Author's words: Writing two books means both are stuck. I haven't slept for more than 30 hours and I feel like I'm going to have schizophrenia.

Chapter 72 You Should Keep It

Cesar watched her petite figure in a blue robe gradually advance, passing between rows of empty beds and disappearing into the deep darkness. The temple was short of patients, and those who remained were already asleep. It felt like an abandoned hospital, and Sister Kallen was a drifting ghost.

The monk led him to a dark room. Cesar stood outside the door and looked in, but he could not see anything. Compared with this dark room, the main hall with only the brazier burning seemed to become sunny.

Brother Kallen lit a candlestick, and by the dim light, Cesar saw a soldier lying on a crude wooden bed in the dark room. He appeared intact, unharmed, but in reality, he was terminally ill, his posture terrifying. His skin was pale, stretched across his bones like a thin membrane, looking brittle and tight, as if it would break at the slightest touch.

Because the skin was stretched so tight, the pale lips were also pulled up, and when the soldier slept, you could see his two rows of neat teeth, which were completely hidden by his mouth. His hands were stretched like claws by the skin in his sleep, bent and hunched, but no veins were visible, as if the blood vessels were shriveled and dried up.

It certainly doesn't look like a worldly disease, at least it doesn't seem like it.

Cesar was lost in thought outside the door, trying to remember the curse of this scene and talk to Phils later. At this time, Karen said, "You saw

"Is his disease incurable? If you have anything you want to confirm, just ask me." She said, reaching out to close the door.

"Why is it closed? I want to check for myself."

She paused, turned and stared at me, "You have been listening to me tell you what I am saying.

When did you go and find a soldier to confirm it yourself?"

"Perhaps now," Cesar explained, trying to dissuade her from gripping the doorknob. "The soldiers who rode out of the city that night were so hostile to me that I don't want to try to convince each one individually. But he's incredibly important, and he's also ill in bed, and it doesn't look like he'll be well again for another few days."

Kallen still held the door handle, not letting him in.

"The curse on him might be contagious. I'm not sure how it works yet, so I've isolated him for now," she emphasized. "So, just listen to what I have to say."

"Does separating him mean leaving him here and watching him slowly die?"

"I've noticed you're particularly adept at doubting other people's motives and actions. Your words are like stabbing someone with a dagger," Kallen said without surprise. She seemed accustomed to his way of speaking. "However, unlike what you might think, I will bring him food and medicine, and check his condition."

Cesar pondered the meaning of this. He noticed that there was more to the story than she had suggested.

"Is it just you? No one else?" he asked.

"Everyone has their own job, and I just do what I should do in my position," said Kallen.

"I know the war is coming and everyone is busy, but that's not what I'm talking about. You're relying on this useless robe to take care of cursed soldiers. You don't even seem to understand what the curse is. Why would you risk being infected by doing this?"

Kallen stared at him. "According to you, I should have thrown him into the dark room to die, and then succeeded in arousing your suspicion? Besides, does what I'm doing have any impact on you? I will send everyone who is sent to this temple of mine on their final journey. Even if my ability is limited and I can't save their lives, at least I will let them know that they are not abandoned."

Cesar thought of the people from the Great Temple. They had just finished their financial affairs when they were called by Count Sean to ask for help and discuss the war with the Sassulei people.

"At least call those who came from the Grand Temple and ask them a few questions, especially the high priest," Cesar said again.

"I understand that I've burdened the people of the Grand Temple too much just to stay here, but this is my right, so I won't let go. Besides, asking them to put aside their own affairs and work hard for me is not right."

"Is this all for you? No one would ask you to look after such a person."

"I grew up in this temple. I've been doing this kind of thing since I was old enough to understand, and it won't change now."

"Don't you have any doubts about the way you live?"

Sister Kallen remained unresponsive. She showed no signs of fatigue, no complaints, and even no sign of numbness. It was as if she were simply discussing her daily routine. "Of course I don't question it. Just go with the flow and do what's best. That's how I've always been," she said.

Cesar squinted at her, feeling as if he were gazing into the distance, even though she was actually quite close. Before he could speak, Kallen added, "I can roughly guess you're about to object again, Master Cesar. You really love to express your disapproval. First you questioned my beliefs, and now you're interfering in my life."

"I thought you were holding on to this soon-to-be-abandoned temple, at least for something meaningful."

“Need meaning?”

"I think it's necessary."

"Then I don't need it." She said indifferently.

Cesar thought of the rumored Sister Kallen. It was said that when her mother was still alive, she had been praying for her mother at her bedside, and after her mother passed away, she continued to pray at the place where her mother was buried. It all sounded like this soon-to-be-abandoned temple, and the nature seemed similar—it was meaningless, but she didn't seem to need meaning.

To her, neither her life nor her mission needs any meaning.

Of course, he wouldn't act like the man before him. After all, he didn't even take his name and identity, the two most inseparable temples, seriously. Thinking of this, he felt unhappy. Sometimes, people just felt unhappy for no apparent reason. After all, it was as if this person's existence was specifically designed to deny him.

Kallen actually smiled, a smile that was a bit dazzling. "I seem to sense the emotions welling up in you, Lord Cesar. Are you unhappy?" she said. "For someone like you who questions everything about others and seeks to shake up their lives, is it rare for you to feel unhappy about things that have nothing to do with power and coercion? Is it because you feel that people are still living their lives, simply because they are constrained by a higher power?"

Cesar told her a little irritably.

"I thought you weren't one to be sarcastic."

Kallen nodded and said, "I really wouldn't, or rather, I never would have. Perhaps your actions have brought out something bad in me. I was living a good life, but some people think they can question everything and everyone, whether related to them or not, without even needing to receive anything from others, simply because they want to question. I think this kind of thinking is harmful, or do you want to question even this?"

Cesar turned to the half-lit dark room

"Then how can I get in?"

"Even though you've given up questioning others, you're still determined to get in? Why, now you don't want me to relay the story to you?"

"I'm very particular about... details that you might not understand."

"Just tell me

.” said Kallen.

Cesar shook his head. Seeing her staring at him, he picked up the dewclaw wrapped in cloth. "Take it to the patient. Maybe it will have some effect."

Kallen agreed and took the wolf claw. It seemed that as long as he didn't barge in, everything would be negotiable. When she brought it to the patient, something strange happened. It was originally wrapped in cloth, like a glass sculpture, but it suddenly bloomed with blood-red light, covering the patient on the bed.

In the light of blood, the man's face looked even more terrifying, and his face became more sunken and thin.