A journey of seven souls escaping from the basement

Page 93

suicide?

The words full of negative emotions that he saw for the first time, especially those filled with words like suicide, made Yabu unable to pretend to know nothing and let it go. He frowned and sorted it out absentmindedly. After looking at the desk for a while, my attention returned to this diary.

"...Mark."

——[If the doctor has a tendency to seek death, mark this diary in red. 】

As the mark took effect, the diary was marked with red. The red color was actually no different from before, but at this moment, in the eyes of Zabu who was affected by his emotions, the whole diary seemed to be red and bleeding.

"Doctor..." Yabu closed his eyes and patted his head several times with both hands as if his brain was about to explode. Then he hugged his head and propped it up on the table, murmuring in a low voice, "I'm sorry... ."

I don't know if he is sorry for having to look through the doctor's diary, or for something else.

After a moment, he slowly raised his gaze and looked at the red diary again. Without hesitation, he reached out and quickly read it in front of him.

[Recently, a child named Elena was added to the family. 】

This was around... July?It's already November. Did the doctor start writing a diary so early?

But before it was Yabu's turn to think about it carefully, the next paragraph in the diary made his hand holding the diary tremble unconsciously.

【I can feel that Yabu feels no pain anymore. 】

..........

√,√,√

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*In order to ensure that the only prey is captured, no amount of time is spent setting the trap.

*All accidents are nothing but countless invisible necessities.

**? ity: 27%

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Chapter 166 Exposed, detonated

Yabu always thought that he hid it well. Although it was difficult to say about the pendant, at least the doctor should not know about his loss of pain.

He didn't want the doctor to worry because of him, so he secretly practiced hard when no one was around. What kind of feedback should be given to various interactions, the size of the feedback, the intensity of the feedback, and even whether his body should respond when in pain. He has tried to practice twitching. Although it is not perfect, at least it will not be obvious to others that something is wrong.

[His sensitivity to pain is a bit slower than before. I pinched him once just after he came out of the sarcophagus, so I know what his reaction should be. This change is very small. , but I can feel it. 】

【I can feel that Yabu feels no pain anymore. 】

But now it seems... The doctor has long known that there is something wrong with his body, but he has never revealed it.

[But he didn’t seem to have told me about this.I understand that everyone has their own secrets. I don’t want to say it and I shouldn’t delve into it, but why?why did not you tell me? 】

[Why, he wanted to team up with that strange kid to lie to me. 】

[Zhao Bu is very kind to me, I understand, but...what does he think of me? Why would he rather lie to me with a child who suddenly came here than tell me? 】

【Why?Why?Why? ...(The handwriting gradually becomes scrawl and sticks together)]

Most of the entire page was almost filled with the three words "why". Even just looking at it, Yabu could feel through the handwriting on the note that the doctor kept writing these three words repeatedly. To express my emotions, I could hear the rustle of the pen tip rubbing against the paper.

[(Messy smear marks) That’s it... I shouldn’t be like this. Maybe Yabu also has his own difficulties. Maybe Yabu will tell me in the future. Maybe, I will never write this diary again]

[But... let’s record it a little bit. 】

【Today is the first day that Yabu lied to me...so be it. 】

The doctor used the time when she was deceived instead of the usual way of recording dates in a diary. She was probably expecting that the number of days would not increase again. She comforted herself in her diary, hoping that one day she would no longer be deceived by Yabu. This is the last time she writes in a diary that normal people would not write.

But it is obvious that whether it was the paper with words still written on the middle back page when Yabu opened it at random, or the Yabu who stood here and experienced all this and understood that he had never confessed to the doctor, it was clearly stated Writing this diary did not stop there.

This feeling of betraying the doctor's trust made Yabu feel a little breathless, but this feeling also urged him, making him drag his increasingly heavy hand to open the next page of the diary.

[Today is... the 67th day, 7 hours, 23 minutes and 19 seconds since Yabu lied to me. If we count from the moment Yabu came back, it might be more. 】

The words written at the beginning have directly revealed the emotion in the doctor's heart, as if he was using this method to express his dissatisfaction. The doctor deliberately made up a number at random even for seconds, and made up an accurate time. Said he was very concerned about this.

By the way, Doctor... she probably made up the numbers at random, right?

In the second diary, it seems that two months have passed since the first day. Although the doctor did not stop writing this diary as she said before, the time span is still long enough.

And if the doctor touches this diary again after such a long time, it can only be like what was written in the last diary. She is feeling uncomfortable and has no one to communicate with.

like...

"I'm sorry..." Yabu, who had been isolated for a while, felt somewhat familiar with this.

Just like myself these days.

But it only lasted a few days for him, and nearly two months for the doctor. Although the pain could not be quantified with simple numbers, looking at the huge time difference between the two, Yanbu no longer knew what he should do to make up for it. own fault.

[I was led out of the house by Elena. I guess at this time, Yabu had probably carried me on his back and left secretly with the pendant. 】

[He is still working together with that kid to lie to me. 】

[(messy graffiti)]

Not only the loss of pain... but also the fact that he secretly used the pendant, the doctor had known about it for a long time.

[Did I press too hard?I know that everything I have now is due to Yabu accepting other people’s commissions for me. I know that living the current life but still asking Yabu to stop using the pendant to complete commissions is a selfish act]

[But I am selfish, I am selfish...]

[I really... don't want him to continue using the pendant. What I want to see is a living Yabu, instead of just looking at him one day and seeing him as a cold corpse. , you may not even be able to see the body]

[If the prerequisite for living life now is that Yabu must face life-threatening danger, then I would rather not have Yabu take this job. 】

[But what should I do, what should I say, should I say it directly?Tell him that everything now is not what I want, I just want you to accompany me?Tell him that I hope you can no longer carry out this commission and that we can find another way out? 】

[If I tell him, will he think I am being unreasonable?Obviously everything he has now is achieved through his hard work, and he even lost his sense of pain and almost died in the process. But now I say that this is not what I want. Will he feel that I am teasing her and disgust me? 】

[I don’t dare to try...Although Yao Bu said he would always accompany me to achieve my goals, I don’t dare to be sure, and I can’t be sure, what does Yao Bu think of me? Maybe I To him, it's just a drag. 】

[Will Yabu come back this time?Or will the one who comes back be the same Yabu who was so close to death that he was no longer human like last time?Or in other words, never to return? 】

[Ya Bu, will you never come back? 】

[What should I do, what should I do...]

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*? ity: 30%

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Chapter 167 Will pain make him care more about me?

【Today is the 70th day that Yabu lied to me】

[Zhang Bu is back. He seems tired, but he doesn't appear to be injured. 】

[However, I still found some tiny pinpricks on his wrists and neck, and he seemed...afraid of me. 】

[He lied and said that he had read some books in the past few days. People with amnesia may not dare to express their feelings, so he asked me if there was anything unhappy about me. 】

[I have sad things, things that I dare not talk about... Of course I have them, but judging from all the signs that Yabu is showing now, he must have met me from another time, and that me I also did something very outrageous to him. In this case, should I really say something to Yao Bu? 】

[Does Yabu really want me to tell him what’s on my mind now, or is he simply testing me in this way because my future self has done something outrageous? 】

[I... don't want to be thought of as someone else, even if that person is myself in other times. 】

"..."

He ignored a problem, or in other words, he couldn't think of such a problem at all.

Yabu discovered that his behavior had a very serious perspective problem.

All the previous actions of Yabu have been based on the fact that the doctor did not know that he was using the pendant. But if we say that the doctor knew everything, knew that he had used the pendant, and knew that he had encountered people from other points in time. In his own words, from the doctor's perspective, everything Yabu did could produce another interpretation.

This question became a knife that cut off the communication bridge between the two.

[Today is the day No.70 that Yabu lied to me...]

[Today is the second day that Yabu lied to me about No.70...]

......

From then on, probably because the doctor felt uncomfortable about himself at other points in time, and he didn't want to be regarded as the doctor at other points in time but didn't know how to say it, so he started writing something in his diary almost every day.

Sometimes I would write down some of my thoughts today, and sometimes I would talk to my diary and complain that I still hadn’t communicated with Yabu today. The doctor, who had no one to communicate with, seemed to have gradually begun to rely on writing a diary.

From time to time, there will be situations in the diary where small things are constantly being analyzed by her, and the results are almost always negative.

Moreover, this kind of text that exudes chilling negative emotions becomes more frequent as the time of the diary goes by and almost accounts for the majority of every article. The doctor's psychological condition begins to change as time goes by. Gradual wear and tear.

But as Yabu kept turning back the pages with a heavy heart, he suddenly caught a glimpse of a record that seemed a bit routine at the beginning amid these negative emotions.

[Today... When Yabu was knitting a sweater, I tried it and my hand was pricked. 】

[It hurt a little. Yabu helped me put a band-aid on the wound. 】

【It feels so good to be cared for...】

Yabu remembered this day. At that time, he was knitting a sweater in the living room. The doctor who was sitting there seemed to be knitting a sweater by Yabu. She gave her fingers a few strokes, and now there are still small red dots stained by the doctor's blood on the sweater.

It seems...this diary also occasionally records some ordinary daily life?

But this thought didn't last even for a moment, and was completely shattered by what happened on the pages of the book. The feeling of the entire diary began to make Yabu feel a little creepy.

[Looking at Yao Bu’s concerned look, I felt inexplicably more comfortable. I didn’t know what was going on in my mind. I understood that there was no direct connection between being hurt and feeling better. , but, but...]

【(Some dried blood drops)】

[I secretly scratched my finger with a razor blade...]

[This is wrong, I know this is wrong, but I really can't control it. I really, don't know, watched the blade cut open the skin, and the flesh at the wound was pulled to move to both sides, warm. The blood was gushing from it, and besides the pain, I could feel some...expectation. 】

【栠Buhe...will he find that I have an extra wound on my body?Will he be anxious?Will you be sad? 】

【And because of this, do you care about me even more? 】

Negative emotions were as dry and rotten as sludge, and accumulated in her heart. Such emotions accumulated to a peak, a threshold, and when she was about to collapse, she accidentally got a tiny release due to an accident. Her brain processed it incorrectly. This kind of behavior is regarded as a good medicine to save oneself, and the abnormal behavior starts to migrate from the spiritual level to the physical level.

Just like what the doctor wrote in his diary at the beginning, the doctor has become a little abnormal, even more abnormal than before.

From this point on, it was like a watershed. The contents of the post-doctoral diaries were full of records of self-harm.

The doctor's diary has almost become a record of self-mutilation.

【Today is the day No.90 that Yabu lied to me. 】

[Zhang Buhe didn’t notice any more wounds on my fingers. 】

[I feel a little lucky that Yabu didn’t notice my self-harm, but I feel contradictory and uncomfortable about it. I look forward to Yabu discovering it. 】

[I hope that Yabu will find out that I am injured, I hope that Yabu will ask me why after discovering these wounds, I hope that Yabu will say something to me because of this, I hope... I hope... to be cared about . 】

[(Some dried blood stains)]

[It's night now, and I secretly made a small cut on my wrist. 】

【Will Yabu find out tomorrow? 】

......

【Today is the second day that Yabu lied to me about No.90. 】

【Yabu didn't find it. 】

[(Some dried blood stains)]

【Today is the day that Yabu lied to me. 】

【Yabu didn't find it. 】

[(Some dried blood stains)]

【Today is......】

......