Guild Boss's Ambition

As she left, my cursed body also recovered ridiculously.

“What the hell!!!”

“Why! Why! Why!”

Hiss!

Salad

My heart is like the pages of a book in my hands, torn into broken pieces by the unreasonable emotions.

Slurp - Slurp -

The rational words and psychological and rational words all became the most absurd joke in this moment of collapse.

Why does it have to be like this?

Why did she leave me with such a curse when she left?

Is it because I denied my love for her back then?

Was it because I took it upon myself to give her what she needed?

Am I cursing myself?

Is it that I don't want to fall in love with any human being anymore?

Is it that the previous love has not ended yet?

Is it because I don’t want to end my last relationship?

Should I let this pain prove the existence of love?

Do I want to tear myself apart and torture myself?

Am I broken, or is this all just because I'm functioning properly?

Am I falling in love with someone I shouldn’t?

Or is it because this body still wants me to remember it firmly?

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"AC collection, series from books, collection of books..."

"AE Encyclopedia; AG Dictionary and other general reference books..."

"AI index; AM museums, collectors and collections; AN newspapers; AP journals; AS societies and learning groups; AY yearbooks, catalogs; AZ scholars, learning history, humanities knowledge..."

"B philosophy (general theory); BC logic; BD speculative philosophy; BF psychology; BH aesthetics; BJ ethics; BL religion, mythology, rationalism; BM creationism; BP life and death religion, sun and moon religion, atheism, etc.; BQ beast religion; BR underworld religion; BS Genesis; BT dogmatics; BV practical theology; BX naturalism sect..."

in this way.

In the recitation,

I stopped thinking.

……

……

61. Terrible (Ancient Mountain)

(Ancient Mountain)

"Excuse me, I feel a little dizzy. Please leave me alone for a while. Please close the door when you leave."

Senior, she put on that alienating smile again, her eyes were cold and seemed to contain hatred, she looked very painful, but I had no way to save her at that moment, nor was there no way to free her, or like she said, as long as I left her side, she would get better, and her pale face that was sweating would return to its original state.

"Sorry, Senior."

I apologized and immediately turned around and walked away.

After all, this is not a game of house, nor is it a false novel setting.

Senior, she really resists humans.

And I knew this very well before I came into this room.

I had already confirmed this from Xiaolan's serious expression.

But I just couldn't help but get close to my senior, and I had to keep that glimmer of hope to get close to her.

“I’m so terrible…”

"Even though the other party didn't want to pay attention to me, I still insisted on pestering him and causing trouble for him..."

“It’s really terrible for me to be like this…”

As soon as I closed my senior's door, my whole body seemed to lose strength, making my steps shaky, and finally I lingered to a window in the corridor that was closed because of the cold wind.

The view from the window is a vast sky.

There was a wild goose flying in the sky, a wild goose without a companion.

Suddenly, I felt that I had learned to hate the lonely winter when everything withered.

"Hey, little girl, why do you look so unhappy?"

A strange voice sounded behind me. I was startled and turned around to look.

The person who cares about me is Miss Paladin Raftan.

"Nothing, I just encountered something...something I can't figure out."

I responded to her concern insincerely, isolating myself like Anne did.

At this time, I also began to understand my senior's thoughts a little bit.

None of us wants to cause extra trouble to others, especially when the trouble is very big.

At this time, the Paladin gently closed the window that I had opened at some point, and asked, "What is it that you can't figure out?"

I looked at her, who was dignified and beautiful, and fell silent, biting my lower lip.

Because things have become so complicated that I don’t know how to confide in others.

Even I don’t understand myself.

Seeing this, Miss Paladin asked again with concern: "I remember you are the poster girl here, right? Are you unhappy with your work?"

"no."

I quickly denied it: "Everyone in the Stone House is very nice to me. I am worried about other things."

"What's that?"

"That's..." I hesitated for a long time, and finally said it under the encouraging eyes of Miss Paladin: "That's a friend of mine. He is very bad at getting along with people. The degree of his badness has even gone to the point of madness. For him, staying alone in a room with no one is the most comfortable and safest. However, he doesn't look happy at all like this."

"Is that so..." Miss Raftan frowned and asked thoughtfully, "Can you explain it in more detail?"

Considering Anne's own wishes, I dare not reveal too much.

I shook my head and said, "Sorry, that's his personal privacy, I can't tell you, but if there is any way to help him, I'm willing to try it. To me, he is a very important person in my life!"

"Um……"

Hearing this, Miss Raftan scratched her cheek in distress and said with regret, "How can I put it? Healing the soul is the specialty of priests and mind mages. I belong to the martial arts school and have no way to deal with such a delicate thing. However, I believe that no one wants to be alone forever, so please don't give up on your friend easily."

"Actually, strictly speaking, she is not alone. He is just...he is just..."

I tried to make things clearer, but I just couldn't make it into a whole.

So, I grabbed my hair and yelled in frustration, "Ahhh! In short, what I'm struggling with now is that the help I thought I was providing not only didn't help him, but it also brought him a lot of unnecessary trouble! It's completely a case of good intentions leading to bad results! Miss Raftan, do you think I should do less unnecessary work and not make fewer mistakes?"

In response to my question, the paladin lady stroked her chin and thought calmly.

After a long while, she answered seriously, "Actually, as long as you think what you are about to do will help, then you can do it. If you are not sure whether your approach is correct, then you should ask other people for their opinions and seek their advice. In this world, everyone's troubles are always similar, and there will always be people around us who can give us some useful advice."

yes……

Xiao Lan clearly told me to wait patiently for news, so why would a fool like me keep making things worse?

If you want people to praise you, you can't do it like me, right?

but……

Do I want to be praised?

I just……

I just……

"Thank you, Miss Raftan. I think I understand how I should deal with my emotions now."

I put on a hypocritical smile like Senior Annie's, and without waiting for Miss Paladin's response, I trotted out of her sight. I ran and ran until I reached my dormitory room, opened the door hastily, and closed it hastily, forcing myself to smile with the last bit of my smile, not caring if my shoes would dirty the sheets, and buried my head under the quilt.

Some warm liquid slid from the corners of my eyes to my chin.

My heart feels so aching.

I felt extremely wronged, just as I had felt when I learned of my parents' death.

But this time I was clearly just a bystander, and I didn’t know why I was feeling wronged!

But my body keeps telling me I'm so sad...

So sad...

I want to tear the pillow into pieces and cry out loud!

I really wish I could be more useful.

I really wish I could be half as smart as Xiaolan, and I really want to do something for Senior Annie!

I hate this useless self!

I cried so much that the bed was soaked and my throat was dry and sore.

But the strange thing is...

Unlike before...

After crying this time, I still feel so sad.

Tears have lost their healing effect.

"Read novels! Reading novels will make you happy."

So, I found my favorite romance novel. The lovers in the story are childhood sweethearts. They have common childhood memories, and when they grow up, they know all of each other's habits. They can talk about almost anything and have no secrets from each other. The only secret is that they like each other but haven't said it out loud.

Until she turned eighteen, they lived a happy life, more than friends but less than lovers.

It was also when she turned eighteen that a boy who had nothing to do with the story appeared and confessed his love to her.

At first she refused.

However, her childhood sweetheart remained indifferent after learning about this matter──

"Did I feel wrong before? Aren't we in love?"

The girl began to have such doubts.

She wondered for a long time, she observed for a long time──

Until one day, she couldn't help but ask.

"My dear friend, do you have someone you like?"

"No, I'm not planning on dating yet."

Her question did not get the answer she expected, and the other half she expected lied.

Because the liar is a person with low self-esteem.

After witnessing the suitor's excellence, the liar believed that he could not give her a happy future, so he concealed his feelings so that the talented man and beautiful woman could be together.

Later, everything was just as the liar had expected. In his persistent pursuit, she sprouted another seed of love. The new seed sprouted and grew healthily under her and his careful care. Although there were ups and downs, spring, summer, autumn and winter along the way, she and he finally entered the palace of marriage, and both of them found happiness.

The only unhappy person is that lying liar.