I will never give in to Miss Death

As I passed by the coconut trees that Xiong Xiong had given me, I looked at the huge leaves above me curiously: “I wonder if I’ll really be able to drink coconut juice this time next year.”

Yin Xiamo joked, "If you like, I can go anywhere and bring a fruit-bearing coconut tree here."

"Ah... forget it."

We pushed open the door and walked into the coffee shop. Just like yesterday, there were a few homeless people and "freeloaders" sleeping in the lobby on the first floor. When they heard us say "Welcome" when we entered, many of them opened their eyes and looked around in confusion.

"Ah... I just happened to have finished my daily tasks."

Elodie, who was playing games on her laptop at the largest table in the hall, closed the screen and turned to me and Yin Xiamo: "How did things go last night?"

I was a little confused: "What's the progress?"

"It's going very smoothly. Noer is like a shell. Only by peeling off the hard outer shell can you touch the softness inside. If you accidentally touch the most shining pearl in the shell, the most beautiful rainbow will burst out."

Yin Xiamo continued, "There is still some breakfast at home, so you can go back without any worries, Mr. Nuoer's editor."

"Oh--"

Elodie dragged out the words, glanced at Yin Xiamo and me with a complicated expression, and picked up the computer: "No wonder I was wondering why the latest chapter she updated yesterday was so soft and not manly at all. It turns out that she was eaten up."

What are you talking about? What are you two talking about?

"You two will have a rest tomorrow. Ouyang Xue will be back to take over. Is she okay?"

As they walked toward the dressing room on the second floor, Elodie asked curiously, "I feel like there will be a lot of people coming to the store these days because of that promotional video."

"Let's ask Sister Ouyang again in the afternoon."

I explained: "Or we can ask Li Chen to take over the shift."

"I mean, can we get Li Jiajia to come over?"

Elodie yawned. "She has big breasts. If she comes to work here, it will just raise the average cup size of our store."

Yin Xiamo and I were silent at this moment.

"I think it will work. Lan Jiajia told me last night that she will come over this afternoon at the latest. If Sister Ouyang is not here, you two can introduce her to the business of the store."

"Ok."

"..."

Elodie changed her clothes and left, and Yin Xiamo and I began to reward and clean up the coffee shop as usual.

Trimming cat hair, debugging the sweeping robot and automatic water dispenser and feeder, testing the store's ordering system...

After spending more than half an hour getting ready, I went outside the coffee shop and changed the sign that read "Under Renovation" to "Open".

It will be a day off after today, come on, Nuoer.

Seeing that there would be few customers for a while, I took out my mobile phone and opened my QQ after cleaning the milk tea equipment on the second floor.

[Sister Nuoer, I really want to be discharged from the hospital to play with you and the cats, but the doctor insisted that I must stay in the hospital for a full month before I can be discharged.]

[I can feel the strong heartbeat in my chest. It belongs to Brother Nuoer. This heartbeat is transmitted to me, so I will live well in place of Brother Nuoer.]

[How do you like the little skirt someone gave you? Has Sister Nuoer ever worn it? ]

First, I went to Lu Xinmeng who was still in the hospital. I simply said a few words to comfort the little girl. I deleted the large number of harassing messages in "New Friends" one by one and started to browse various messages.

Then I saw the new announcement sent by the new editor "Catmint" last night -

[Miguabao Yaedang is about to hold the first offline author exchange conference. The authors who received the invitation letter are all masters with an average subscription of more than 1 on the website, a total of 30 people. In addition, each editor will select 3 lucky authors to participate in this meeting. The participating authors can get a mysterious prize and a website recommendation.]

"..."

……

No, 150 pinching faces is prohibited, and so is eating people

It seemed to me that there were a lot more people coming to the coffee shop on Sunday than on Saturday.

If the coffee shop was just "saturated" on the first day of the new store's opening and "full" on Saturday, then it was "packed" during the peak hour on Sunday.

Starting from nine o'clock in the morning, various young men and women began to come into the store one after another. The composition of the customers ranged from ordinary college students to young people, then to mature middle-aged uncles and bosses who were obviously wealthy at first glance, which could be said to cover all walks of life in society.

Especially around 12 noon, the number of customers coming to the store to eat, pet cats and drink milk tea directly exceeded the "maximum number of diners" of the coffee shop, and even the outdoor seats outside were full of people.

You should know that the temperature in Kamihama City today is close to 38 degrees Celsius. Although the coffee shop is shaped like a big mushroom and the eaves are wide enough to cover the tables and chairs outside, it is definitely not as cool as staying in the coffee shop with air conditioning.

Even in such an environment, customers coming to the store actually voluntarily chose "outdoors" and claimed that "the scenery outside is very beautiful."

The coffee shop is located at the highest point in the Kamigahama River area of ​​Minaminagi District. Sitting outside, you can indeed see the Minaminagi Tower in the distance, the large grassland below the tower, the sparkling sea, and the ships coming and going on the Kamigahama River. I originally thought that there wouldn't be too many customers choosing to dine outside, but I didn't expect that this place would be full of customers on Sunday.

Some people even didn't even sit on the tree stump chairs under the mushroom house. Instead, they found a big rock under the big banyan tree, ordered a cup of milk tea, drank it while playing with their mobile phones. I don't know whether they came here to relax or sightsee.

May is the season when banyan trees mature. If there is any slight disturbance, this big tree, which is at least seventy or eighty years old, will drop a large number of small flowers, dripping like rain, and people under the tree don't mind at all.

"It's quite hot outside, and there may be a lot of mosquitoes. Why don't you all go into the store and take a rest?"

I have advised these passengers who choose to travel outside countless times, but the answer I get every time is nothing more than -

"We are here to support you. We hope there will be more conscientious shops like Shangjing Coffee House."

"It's okay. I don't really like air conditioning."

"I can also see Nuoer on my phone here. If there is anything I need, I will go in."

In desperation, I had to ask Chef Wang in the kitchen to cook more mung bean and corn syrup, add some ice cubes and provide it free of charge to these customers who came from afar to support us.

Based on the highly praised comments on Tong Meng’s online videos, I can clearly feel that the reputation of “Shangjing Coffee House” has changed significantly in the past few days.

In the beginning, when the promotional video was just released, many people were questioning Ouyang Xue's involvement in the "two-dimensional" industry, saying that we were "cheating otakus out of their money" and "cover fraud." The focus of discussion in the comment section below was basically on "did the clerk use the beauty filter" and "over-promotion." Then some people began to mock that "it's so easy to make money in the two-dimensional world." Some people couldn't stand it and argued for a few sentences, and then the two sides started a war of words.

On Friday, as some big UP hosts and anchors went to the site for "inspection" and did various live broadcasts of the situation in the coffee shop, the debate over "beauty" and "two-dimensional" was suppressed, and the focus of people's arguments came to the "quality" of the coffee shop.

[Generally, the quality of stores that focus on the second dimension is not very good, and all their money is spent on publicity and promotion]

[Be careful if you eat this and get a stomachache]

[As soon as you look at the luxury of this store, you know the food is definitely expensive. KFC's egg tarts are 8 yuan each, I suspect they're at least 10 yuan each... What? 8 for 60 yuan? Isn't that still expensive? Cat's claw egg tarts? Oh...]

[Others are cat cafes, and you still expect the food to be delicious? It’s good enough if it’s better than the school cafeteria! ]

Then in such an environment, and because it happened to be the weekend, some curious people tried to call their gay friends and girlfriends, and drove for several hours to come over to "check it out" and try the various snacks in the coffee shop.

The natural result is... everyone who has eaten the food in the restaurant has expressed unanimous praise for Chef Wang's cooking skills.

The coffee shop uses the latest cooking machines for fried and steamed chicken. The ingredients and chicken weight are accurate to the "gram". The quality control of every piece of fried chicken and every steamed chicken can be said to be close to perfection, and it is a special secret recipe - anyway, when I eat it, I feel that it is no worse than those big-brand fried chicken shops.

As for fast food, there is no need to say more. Chef Wang is a chef who has been cooking for many years and has experience working in big hotels. The food he makes tastes exactly the same as the food in the hotel, but our prices are much cheaper than those in the hotel. The price-performance ratio is extremely high, and there is basically no customer who doesn't like it.

Finally, there are the milk tea and coffee on the second floor. There is nothing much to say about this. The production process of milk tea and coffee is very simple and you can learn it once. Even a "kitchen god" like Yin Xiamo can learn to make watermelon juice in two days, not to mention people like me who have experience in making milk tea. Unless they are professional sommeliers or coffee experts, basically no one can tell the difference between these desserts and those outside - not to mention that we also come with 24-hour air conditioning and free cat petting service, so the cost-effectiveness is even higher.

Of course, we have also encountered a lot of unreasonable customers in recent days. For example, some customers ordered shrimp burgers even though they were allergic to seafood, or some customers didn't like chopped green onions without making any remarks, and then made a scene in the store and demanded a refund when the dishes were decorated with chopped green onions. I solved all of these problems with my rich experience as a waiter.

The temptation on Friday and the verification on Saturday eventually led to the madness on Sunday.

During the lunch rush, not only were all the tables in the coffee shop filled with people, the massage chairs were filled with people, but even the dessert area and cat living area on the second floor were crowded.

60 cats were not enough for all the customers. Some cats were so desperate that they hid behind the window glass, but were caught and forced to "go to work" and were touched by a group of female college students until they rolled their eyes.

Today, the reputation of the coffee shop on the Internet has turned into a war between me, Yin Xiamo, Elodie and Ouyang Xue.

The most acute conflict was between me and Yin Xiamo, with everyone arguing about who was the "cutest".

People who like us spontaneously organized themselves into a "fan club" online, spreading the word everywhere and promoting the video on their own, causing the number of views of the promotional video to rise steadily. The term "Shangjing Coffee House" was listed in the top three hot searches on Tongmeng.com many times.

After confirming that the coffee shop is a "holy land of the second dimension", "luxuriantly decorated, with high quality and low prices", "delicious food and rich variety", and "the maid ladies are not over-advertised", all previous doubts disappeared, and everyone uploaded videos of themselves coming here to play with cats and interact with me on Tongmeng.com, which once again pushed the popularity of the coffee shop to another height.

However, as the coffee shop became increasingly popular, the types of people visiting the store started to become more strange and complicated.

For example, at around 1 o'clock, two men wearing sunglasses came into the store and asked to take a photo with me. While taking the photo, they lowered their voices and asked me if I would consider changing my career and taking "photo albums."

Of course I refused, and told these people in a very serious tone that I "would never consider this kind of job."

"Don't refuse in a hurry yet."

It seemed like these two people didn't listen to me at all. They just took out the small bag behind them, opened it, and it was full of red banknotes.

"Trust me, with your looks and as a professional photographer like us, you should make at least this much a month. This is the deposit. We found out from an online survey that you are short of money."

As he spoke, one of the men in sunglasses stretched out his hand and said, "It's not fifty thousand, it's five hundred thousand, guaranteed, for one month."

"This is a new store. Not to mention that it is backed by Tongmeng.com, even if its shareholder is Intel, it can't offer such high wages, and this is the guaranteed price."

"Given the current market conditions and your looks... just to be on the safe side, let me ask you first, are you a woman?"

"Yes."

Although I didn't want to talk to such a person, out of politeness, and with so many cameras watching me in the cafe, I could only keep my expression on my face: "Do I look... like a boy?"

I wish I were a boy, but unfortunately there is no going back.

"No, no, no, not really. What I mean is... if a boy did this, the price might be doubled. Ahem, just kidding."

The man looked mysterious: "So have you thought it through? Just a normal photo shoot, not illegal, no leaks, no hidden rules, and a minimum of 500,000 a month!"

"I've already rejected you once."

I shook my head. “This is the second time. I say it again. I will not consider this kind of job you are talking about.”

In fact, I have already prepared myself mentally for this kind of thing.

After all, my QQ has been harassed a lot in the past few days - when a person's photos and information are made public on the Internet, similar questions are basically unstoppable.

Although I am indeed a little short of money right now, and I really want to save enough money as soon as possible to buy my own little harbor, but... please spare me this kind of thing.

"Well, if you change your mind, you can always come to me."

Perhaps because he saw my firm tone, the man looked a little regretful and handed me a business card: "We are professionals."

I immediately went to the second floor and quietly threw the business card into the sewer.

Through those two men in sunglasses, I can roughly imagine what this world is made of.

Before, those people would add me on QQ or WeChat to harass me online, but I didn’t expect that this time they would come directly offline.

This might be... the price of becoming popular.

"Excuse me, who is Yin Nuoer?"

In addition to "dangerous elements walking on the edge of the law" like the two men in sunglasses, a number of more serious "partners" also came to the coffee shop that day.

"We are from K-ONSHA Mobile Games. We are planning to develop a new card-drawing mobile game. Your voice is very suitable for one of our girl characters. Do you have any intention to develop into a voice actor? Or you can take individual orders."

"Hello, Ms. Yin Nuoer. I am the agent of this pillow. Are you willing to help promote it or put our pillow on the shelves in the merchandise section here?"

"We need to shoot an advertisement with an image of a little girl. Miss Nuoer, are you planning to be the image spokesperson?"

"..."

In the end, I politely rejected all these "partners".

Because I had no preparation or idea in this regard.

My current body...it is no exaggeration to say that it was all given by Yin Xiamo. Although it turned me from a big and strong man into a little girl, but as Yin Xiamo said, this body, this appearance, this image and even this lovely voice are a huge treasure for the current peaceful era.

Before going to bed last night, Yin Xiamo and I chatted about some topics related to "people and society". She gave me an example, that is, there are many kinds of genes in the human body. Some people are prone to obesity and gain weight no matter what they eat. Such people may have a high intestinal absorption rate, or the small intestine responsible for absorbing sugars, fats, proteins and the like is longer than that of ordinary people. Ordinary people only absorb a little bit of food after eating, while people with genes that make them prone to obesity have longer small intestines and absorb everything. Under the same conditions, they will be fatter than ordinary people.

It is difficult to say whether this gene is good or bad, because in ancient times when food was relatively scarce, such a gene that makes you prone to obesity was a "good gene". No one had food to eat, but you absorbed food well and were not likely to starve to death. However, similar genes seem a bit redundant in modern society. After all, in this era, everyone has enough food and the aesthetic standard is generally based on thinness.

Yin Xiamo also said that there are a large number of inactivated fragments in the DNA of ordinary people, such as the self-synthesis of vitamin C, or an inactivated UOX gene in the first chromosome of humans. This means that humans have had the ability to decompose uric acid without gout for a long time, but this gene has been inactivated during the evolution process. That was the result of natural selection in ancient times, but it is a crucial gene for modern humans.

This is almost what Yin Xiamo meant by the “perfect body”. Her “perfection” is relative to this peaceful world and people’s aesthetic standards.

In other words, even though this lady of death apparently killed my original uncle body and replaced it with the appearance of this little girl, but from a universal rational point of view, she turned me into "Yin Nuoer" and it can be said that she gave me the best gift when we met.

Although...it may take me a long time to adapt to this change in personal image and lifestyle.

……

"If they do anything a little bit more extreme, I might have to take action."

After finally getting through the lunch rush, during the afternoon break, Yin Xiamo came up to me and said, "Especially those two guys wearing sunglasses, they are really going too far. They are actually planning to spend half a million to poach Nuo'er. If I don't kill them with one strike, I will at least take away ten years of their lives!"

"My Lord Death, please calm down."

I was lying on the massage chair, touching Ding Man's little head next to me. "I don't think I've ever seen Xiaomo really angry. Will you kill someone when you're angry?"

"Of course I will."

The girl next to him answered without even thinking: "I will kill anyone except Nuo'er without mercy."