I will never give in to Miss Death

"Um……"

I know where this is.

I sighed quietly in my heart.

The biggest difference between me and ordinary people right now is probably that useless ability of "being able to see the god of death".

"Ding Dong! We're on the fifth floor."

"Come."

After Lu Xinjian and I got out of the elevator, the man took me to a ward marked "5301".

When I opened the door, a ray of bright sunlight shone obliquely from the window not far from the bed.

This ray of sunlight fell on me and also on the girl who was lying on the bed in the ward. Her face was a little pale, but overall she looked very energetic.

"Xinmeng, the author you are looking for, and..."

Taking me into the ward, in the sunshine, Lu Xinjian introduced the girl in the bed wearing a hospital gown:

"And your hero."

"..."

……

【Thank you for the Yan Di reward from Qizhijun!!! Thank you very much (=oωo=) mwo will continue to work hard!!】

No. 102 What you have is the power created for this purpose!

The little girl on the hospital bed looked to be the same age as me. She had two pigtails and the skin on her face was a slightly sickly pale color.

The same age as me here means the same age as I look, which is about 12 years old.

If I remember correctly, Lu Xinjian's daughter Lu Xinmeng is 15 years old this year and is about to graduate from junior high school and enter high school. The little girl on the bed is about the same size and height as me, and is obviously the "malnourished" type.

Coupled with her hairstyle... double braided ponytails and a small round face, she looks even younger.

How is this hairstyle made? I think I can check it out online and try to make it when I have time.

"Hello."

Under the gaze of the little girl on the hospital bed, I slowly walked over and said, "I...nice to meet you. My name is...Yin Nuoer."

Why am I a little nervous?

For some reason, when I saw the girl lying on the hospital bed, looking a little weak but obviously in very good spirits because she saw me, I always had a very strange feeling in my heart.

On her body...inside her left chest, my heart is beating.

Her former heart continued to beat in someone else's body, maintaining her blood flow and her life...

I really don’t know whether to describe this feeling as “shocking” or “amazing”. It’s just like... it feels like I’m looking at a relative of mine, but not exactly.

I think I am the only one in this world who can understand this feeling.

"Hello."

As I watched, the girl on the bed raised her right hand, the only part not connected to the machine, and slowly waved it at me: "My name is Lu Xinmeng. My father told me everything. I like the book you wrote very much."

Just like her appearance, the little girl on the hospital bed had a soft and a little hoarse voice. It might be that the continuous hospitalization and surgeries in the past few days had overdrawn her physical strength and she hasn't recovered yet.

The little girl's position on the bed was between "lying down" and "sitting", with a pillow behind her back. She was wearing a hospital gown with the area above her abdomen exposed. Her chest and wrists were connected to some testing wires. Several machines at the head of the bed, whose names I couldn't remember, were making a steady "beeping" sound.

"Thank you...thank you."

It was the first time I was praised in person like this. I felt a little embarrassed. I awkwardly grabbed the hair by my ear and rolled it up out of habit: "I thought it was badly written..."

I don't know when it started, but I have become accustomed to having long hair and a strand of hair hanging down on both sides of my face. I have also become accustomed to unconsciously curling and touching my hair when I feel embarrassed.

The development of novels is a process of gradually compromising with the market and adapting to the trends of contemporary society. At the beginning, the "novels" of our parents' generation were almost all martial arts. At that time, most jobs had holidays and there was no such thing as overtime. Parents could go home to take care of their children at five or six o'clock every day, and there was no such thing as overtime or evening self-study for children. Therefore, the society at that time was "slow-paced". Traditional martial arts and urban emotional novels had just developed, and there were very few types to read. Basically, no matter what name you gave it, as long as the content was acceptable, people would read it.

Later, with the emergence of online novels, people's pace of life quickened. Adults had to work overtime and children had to take tutoring classes in the evenings, so they had less time of their own and even less time to read novels. Online literature began to involute, just like the "Novel Psychology" that Editor Tu Zi sent me, only novels with unique plots that capture readers' appetite can survive.

My novels are pretty much the kind of works from that period that have "an acceptable plot but nothing special." The names aren't special, the plots aren't new, and there aren't many readers. It's the type that you can earn some pocket money as a part-time job, but a full-time job is a dead end.

If such a novel were published in our parents' generation, it might have become popular, but now... it's impossible.

I originally thought that everyone read my books with the idea of ​​"having some fun", but I didn't expect that there would be fans like Lu Xinmeng.

"Not bad! Really, not bad at all, much better than those weird books nowadays!"

Seeing that I might be a little "depressed", Lu Xinmeng retorted on the spot: "The most difficult time for me was when I read your novels... I had the courage to survive by reading your novels. The bravery of the protagonist, the strength of Nuo'er's sister, and the people in the books, each one seemed to live in front of me. When I knew that Yaedang had closed down, I almost... I almost died because of this..."

"At that time, Xinmeng knew that her father had taken down the website to help her with her medical treatment. She was so angry that she refused treatment for several days, thinking that she was dragging down the author."

A middle-aged woman nearby said helplessly: "He woke up in the intensive care unit but didn't speak. He didn't listen to anyone's advice."

Is that so?

I glanced at Lu Xinjian beside me calmly.

His daughter’s treatment costs money, and it’s a terminal illness. She can’t wait for a heart, and it also costs money to support hundreds of employees in the company. The father is forced into a corner and can only choose to sell the company’s assets to save his daughter. But after selling the company’s assets, the company’s Yaedang Novel Network can no longer hold on. His daughter happens to be a fan of a novel author on this novel network. She doesn’t understand her father’s approach and refuses treatment...

I am caught in a dilemma and no matter which way I go, it will be a dead end.

After hearing this, I felt that I could understand a little bit how Lu Xinjian felt when he cried in the vegetable market that day.

Because... he couldn't see any hope at the time, he was really "desperate" and "gave up on himself."

For the sake of his daughter, he betrayed his past and denied all his previous efforts, just to see his daughter's smiling face and let her live. In the end, not only did the situation not get better, but it also led to misunderstandings between his daughter and his wife...

Imagine that as a father, one day you are told by the doctor that your daughter's illness will be in danger if you don't pay the money. Your wife who is taking care of your daughter in the hospital also complains about you, a big boss, why you are so incompetent. You have to make the painful decision to sell off the company's assets under pressure. You know that doing so will definitely make hundreds of people in the company resent you, and you may be sued later, but you have to do it for your daughter. After that, you force yourself to smile and prepare to go to the vegetable market to buy vegetables for your family like an ordinary old father. Your wife calls and says that because of your behavior, the novel website has closed down, and your daughter can't see the author's updates. After knowing this, she is now refusing to eat or drink and has been admitted to the ICU...

Will you collapse...

“I really couldn’t do anything at that time.”

Hearing this, Lu Xinjian just smiled bitterly: "I am also desperate..."

Really? No wonder you treat me with such respect.

I turned to Lu Xinjian and smiled sheepishly.

Most people would probably be extremely desperate in that situation.

But there was a girl at that time... a little girl with a sweet appearance, petite figure, soft voice, like a daughter. She went to the roadside and bought a string of marshmallows, gave it to the father, and said, "Although I don't know what you have been through, but even if life is bitter... we can at least make ourselves sweet like this."

I think... maybe I was already regarded as an "angel" at that time.

The most important thing is, that day was also the first day that I became a little girl. It was also the day when the Grim Reaper girl Yin Xiamo took my original body to the hospital and took away my useless organs so that I could donate them.

It is conceivable that after encountering the encouragement of such a cute little girl, Lu Xinjian, as an adult who has experienced countless cruel realities, would probably think in his mind things like "the child is too naive", "it's impossible, there is no hope", "comfort is just comfort after all, there will be no miracle at all", and then he turned around and received a call from the hospital - a heart for transplantation had been found, and it was a young man, and he should come back quickly to sign for the surgery.

At this time...what kind of changes will occur in this father's heart?

In addition, after investigation, it was discovered that the person who provided the heart to his daughter happened to be the brother of the little girl who comforted him and bought him marshmallows. What would the father think?

If it were me... considering the other person as a "lifesaver" would be considered a light punishment. I would probably want to take this little girl home and raise her as my own daughter, right?

"It's okay, everything is over."

Seeing that the topic in the ward was gradually becoming a little "sad", I hurried over and sat down beside the bed. I took out the excerpt notebook that I found when I was sorting out my "brother's" belongings from the bag behind me and said, "This is for you."

"what is this?"

The girl took the notebook in one hand and opened it.

"His previous excerpt notes."

I told the truth: "They are all excerpts from some obscure novels and poetry collections."

Before this, I had never had a friend who had undergone a heart transplant and needed me to visit.

I just vaguely remember that there are restrictions on food for people who have just undergone surgery. I don’t know what the specific restrictions are, so when I came, I didn’t bring any fruits or drinks for Lu Xinjian’s daughter Lu Xinmeng.

I was thinking about it in the car just now, and I feel that the only thing I can give her as a "gift" is probably this mood notebook.

"Come, let me take you home... Those beautiful ideals that were once promised, expected, not seen, and not remembered, withered away with the footsteps in the pain..."

In front of me, Lu Xinjian's daughter said softly in the ward: "We will spend the rest of our lives on the road, because the road is as long as a lifetime..."

"This song is selected from the novel "The Lost Aurora", written by Qing Geman. The story is probably about a mythological story, the love story of Aurora, the goddess of dawn."

The girl nodded and turned to the next page reluctantly.

"Give time to civilization, not time to civilization."

“Make yourself happy, that’s part of the plan.”

After reading this, the girl looked up at me.

“The Three-Body Problem, by Liu Cixin.”

I nodded. "A science fiction novel."

To be honest, the fact that my previous novel didn’t become popular actually has nothing to do with my frequent updates. It was mainly due to my “literary youth syndrome” and the fact that the title and subject matter of the book were inconsistent with the mainstream of today’s society.

Just like the naive ideas I had when I was a child, wanting to be a teacher and educate people, bringing knowledge and laughter to children and students, I also did a lot of homework when I was writing the novel.

For example, continuing the orphanage’s naming method, using computer random numbers to memorize the dictionary.

Buy a thick dictionary, press two random numbers every day, and memorize the words on the page you randomly press.

If you memorize two pages every day, you can memorize more than 700 pages in a year. In two years, you can memorize even the thickest dictionary.

Although in most cases I would memorize a page today and forget it after two or three days, I still have a general impression of the content on that page of the dictionary, which at least helps to improve my cultural level.

Similarly, I also thought at that time that beautiful sentences like excerpts would help improve my writing skills - since I want to be an author, I have to be responsible to the readers. Not only must the plot be good, but the writing must also be very beautiful.

However, just like most people who are determined to become teachers and educate people with great ambitions, and want to have good relationships with their classmates but find that most of the students in the class are just slacking off and don't listen to what you teach at all, according to the current social trend, if a novel wants to be successful, it is not necessary to memorize a dictionary or have good writing skills.

The sentences that I had copied down before were not of much use.

"Thank you... thank you."

After flipping through a few pages, she discovered that this nearly two-centimeter-thick notebook was filled with carefully written beautiful sentences. Lu Xinmeng seemed to have found something she loved. She carefully closed it and held it in her arms, her eyes reddening: "My dream a long time ago... was to become an author."

I was stunned: "Huh?"

"I have so many ideas and so many stories I want to write..."

Holding the notebook in one hand, the girl's voice trembled a little: "Really...thank you."

"She adores you."

Lu Xinjian beside him explained: "It has always been said that... Uncle Ai Loli of Yaedo is a very talented author. He writes stories seriously every day, and his writing is much better than many authors on the rankings, but no one reads them."

"what……"

I felt even more embarrassed: "Not really. I know my reasons. The rhythm and subject matter do not conform to modern standards."

There is a reason why many books are on the list, for example, some pretentious and face-slapping literature. Perhaps some people would like to see that I can be on the list because the writing is so poor, but when it comes to really writing, I don’t think I can reach their "rhythm".

It's the word "rhythm". Most books pay attention to rhythm, tension and relaxation, rise and fall, tension and relaxation, ups and downs, foreshadowing before the climax, smoothness during the climax, naturalness after the climax, and then continue to foreshadow...

Maybe those authors have very good writing skills, but for the sake of rhythm and to update more, they choose to give up polishing the words and focus more on laying the groundwork for the plot and the "service nature" of the novel itself. This is also a way of thinking.

All we can say is that best-selling authors have grasped the point that readers like about their current novels, while authors of niche books have caught the attention of a small number of readers.

Just like my previous book, if I must say something, the background shows that there are more than 300 readers who subscribe every day, and the monthly royalties are only a thousand yuan, but among these 300 people there are people like Lu Xinmeng... little readers who silently support me behind the scenes, rarely speak, but get excited for the protagonist's counterattack, are pleased for the heroine's efforts, and cry for the passing of minor characters.

——I think it is worth it to meet such readers.

"Well, when this book was being written, Noel's brother was also involved, right?"

After Lu Xinjian finished speaking, Lu Xinmeng raised her little head and looked at me, her big eyes full of expectation: "Your brother must have given you some advice when you were writing, right? Or maybe he has written a book himself but it was not published? Since your sister can write such an excellent work, your brother's literary level must be very high, right?"

"Uh……"

I didn't understand what the little girl meant for a moment, so I could only mumble, "Yes... yes."

"real?!"

Hearing my admission, Lu Xinmeng was a little excited. She stretched out her hand and covered her right chest: "Then... this heart, in my body, in my life... can I also write words like that?"

This……

Perhaps he felt that the topic had gone a bit off topic and the atmosphere was getting even more awkward, so Lu Xinjian quickly came over and said, "Ahem, well, Xinmeng, don't you have a gift for Sister Nuo'er?"

"Ah yes!"

As if she suddenly realized something, the girl on the hospital bed slowly moved to the bedside table, opened the drawer, and pulled out a large bag filled with gorgeous clothes.