K424 of the Collapse World

"My memory as the Second Herrscher has been fully awakened, mixed with Lan Feng's memory and Kiana's memory, forming the current me... a contradictory existence. Because I am in the consciousness space, I can observe these three memories at the same time from an objective perspective. Once I leave here, I am afraid that I will once again become that confused and stupid self and fall into the abyss again."

"Well... that's exactly what it's going to be like later on if you don't plan on making any changes."

Lan Feng nodded, his face somewhat gloomy. He had almost guessed what the girl in front of him was going to say...

The girl paused for a moment, then raised her head again, looking at Lan Feng with a hint of gratitude in her eyes.

"It is only with your memory that I can get to know Tesla and the others, develop feelings for Kiana, be cared for, and feel the long-lost taste of love and being loved... However, in my own memories, the people I cherish most are my enemies... I don't want to deny my past self, but I also don't want to do anything to them. I don't know... What should I do!"

At this point, the girl's voice was filled with tears, and the tears in her eyes could not be suppressed. She remained on her knees, slowly crossed her arms in front of her chest, as if praying, and faced Lan Feng in front of her.

"So, I have a request."

"..."

"Because of the existence of the Herrscher's consciousness, I cannot end my life. Please kill me and put an end to it all. I don't want to forget the hatred I once had, but I also don't want to take revenge on them... on this world. I beg you... Lan Feng, end my pain... Then, the control of this body will all belong to you. If it were you, you would be happy to accompany them instead of me, right? Just like you expected from the beginning..."

The girl sobbed and begged the young man in front of her. As a few strands of purple hair suddenly appeared, her azure right eye had completely turned into a fiery gold color, and a cross-shaped mark appeared in the center of her pupil. With her emotions completely collapsed, the image of her consciousness began to deviate, gradually approaching another appearance in her memory...

"This is your decision..."

Lan Feng remained silent. He looked at the crying girl expressionlessly and slowly raised his hand.

"How sad."

240 Heart Knot

"According to the routine, I should have slapped you hard, then scolded you for being an idiot who didn't value your life, and then tried to help you untie the knot in your heart and return to the gentle and strong you you used to be. But the situation is special now, and I don't want to beat up a crying girl, so I'll skip this step."

Lan Feng raised his hand slightly and reached out, grabbed the girl's collar, pulled the girl who was kneeling on the ground up, and made her look directly into his eyes.

Lan Feng's frosty face was reflected in the girl's slightly dull and empty pupils.

"Do you really want to die? Remember not long ago, a little scare would make you cry. Are you not afraid of death now?"

"Yes, that kind of thing... I've experienced it once before. Due to the rules set by 'God', the Herrscher as a messenger of God cannot commit suicide, so... please..."

The girl answered in a low voice, with a pleading look on her face. Seeing this, Lan Feng snorted, loosened his grip on the girl's collar, and pushed her away.

After calming his breathing a little, Lan Feng's expression became calm again.

"Yes, you are Sirin... but you have my memories, and a very small amount of Kiana's memories. To you, Cecilia is the enemy who took your life, and also your mother. This entanglement alone is enough to drive a person crazy, not to mention that you also have my memories and have established deep bonds with so many anti-entropy people, but in the end you found that they were all your enemies... I can basically understand how upset you are right now."

Hearing this, a glimmer of hope flashed across the girl's empty eyes.

"If you can understand, then please..."

"I reject."

Lan Feng said without hesitation. He just stood there, watching the girl's eyes gradually change from dim to empty, and with a little confusion, she stared blankly at the expressionless Lan Feng.

"But why......"

"There are many reasons, but if I had to choose the most convincing one, it would be... I can't bear the power of your body."

"......What?"

"I'm so sorry. Mortal souls are so weak. Just now, in order to demonstrate the power of creation to Otto, I only mobilized a little of your original power, but it was instantly backfired by the Houkai energy and was directly bounced back to the consciousness space. Even... well, that's it."

Lan Feng said, spreading his hands and shrugging helplessly. In response, the girl stopped crying, lowered her head to think for a while, and then walked forward again.

"That's not a problem... I can forcefully disperse the Houkai energy that belongs to me before my consciousness disappears. This way, there will be no hindrance when you take control of your body."

"Tsk, if that happens... that means all my strength will disappear. In this case, it will be impossible to escape from the Sky Mandate headquarters, right? Am I going to be locked up here and wait for Otto to beat me into a pulp?"

Lan Feng frowned and said, with a hint of impatience in his expression. But the girl didn't hear that Lan Feng was refusing on purpose. She thought about it seriously again and gave her answer.

"In that case, I can temporarily take over your body, regenerate the Herrscher Core in your body, and fight my way out of the Destiny Headquarters. Then, you can kill me. Don't worry, I should still have my self-awareness by then, and I will definitely not fight back..."

"enough!"

Furiously interrupting the girl's proposal, Lan Feng rushed forward, grabbed the girl's collar again, and lifted her up slightly.

"Are you so determined to die? You clearly asked me to kill you, but before you died you still wanted to help me solve the problem...? Are you sick in the brain?! Is this a spirit of dedication? You're more like a saintly woman!"

Looking at the expressionless girl, Lan Feng resisted the urge to slap her hard and said these words almost in a roar.

"But...if I don't help you solve the problem, you won't agree to my request..."

"That's enough, shut up!"

Letting go of the girl and letting her stand on the ground again, Lan Feng took a breath and patted his forehead gently, forcing himself to calm down again.

Faintly, the hand that Lan Feng had just used to hold the girl suddenly emitted light particles. In response, Lan Feng calmly put his hand behind his back and spoke again.

"I've said it before... If you stay the same, that's what will happen. But why don't you try to change?"

"Change?"

"You mixed the three memories together, and that's why you became out of control like before, right? In that case, don't be so greedy... Why don't you try to give up something? Why do you have to force yourself to carry such a thing?"

Hearing Lan Feng's suggestion, the girl lowered her head and shook it vigorously.

"Give up? What should I give up... The incomplete memories of Kiana have basically no effect on me. I can only choose from the memories of Xilin and Lan Feng. But how should I choose?!"

The girl suddenly became excited, and her mournful voice echoed in her consciousness. The slight ripples in her blue and golden eyes seemed to be telling of her pain...

"Giving up your memory is equivalent to denying my feelings for Kiana, Tesla and the others. As the subjective consciousness of the Second Herrscher, I will kill them without hesitation! But if I give up Sirin's memory... that would mean denying my true self! If I do that... wouldn't I become a fake with nothing?"

As the girl cried, her eyes filled with tears.

Tears welled up again. Suddenly realizing something, she wiped her eyes vigorously, trying not to look so out of control. In front of her "other self", she didn't want to appear too embarrassed.

Law enforcers also need dignity...

As she browsed through her memories, the girl did not think there was anything wrong with her current thoughts. She was the second Herrscher, so how could she cry like this in front of a human?

Under the influence of Xilin's memory, the girl's temperament was gradually changing. Seeing this scene, Lan Feng just sighed, and a hint of realization appeared in his expression.

"So this is what you care about... Tsk, sorry, it seems I shouldn't have called you a fake before. I almost forgot that you are not only a naughty child, but also a glass heart..."

Lan Feng said this and walked closer to the girl again.

"Regarding your identity as Xilin...you are neither willing to accept it completely nor to deny this so-called 'real self'. You can't make a choice, so you plan to die?"

"..."

"Well, indeed... In this case, it's not something that can be solved by simply saying 'I want them all'. You have to give up one of them before you are willing to give up the idea of ​​dying, right?"

The girl continued to remain silent, as if she agreed with Lan Feng's words. In response, Lan Feng raised his hand and placed it on the girl's shoulder.

"You are such a stubborn person... Since you can't let go of your feelings for Kiana and Tesla, why do you insist on being a Herrscher? Ha... Don't you want to give up your true self? What's the point of being a Herrscher? Is it because I called you a fake before?"

"..."

"Let me be clear with you. I hope you give up Xilin's memories. You have clearly experienced love and being loved, and you also have family and friendship. Do you really want to just abandon all of this? Compared to this, Xilin's memories... apart from endless hatred, pain and loneliness, what else did those memories bring you?"

The girl's lips trembled, and a flash of attachment and confusion flashed across her eyes. She shook her head again and broke free from Lan Feng's hand.

"You're right. My father passed away, and my mother died of illness. Even though I was adopted by Cocolia's mother, I was eventually captured and taken back to the laboratory. I was tortured, and my only friend Bella was killed... Indeed, my memories are filled with pain and suffering. However, if I give up these, I will only have those false memories, and even become another person. In that case, what would I be?!"

Lan Feng sighed again and no longer approached the girl with eyes full of grief and anger. He just stood there and spoke softly.

"It's not someone else. You...are Shiris?"

"...!"

Hearing this name, the girl was stunned for a moment. But the next moment, she laughed miserably, with a hint of bitterness on her face.

"Shiris... I think this name should belong to you, Lan Feng... During the time when I was taking your place, I was completely dependent on your memory to control my actions, and even my thinking patterns were probably the same as yours. In that case, this identity... should also belong to you..."

——pia!

Following the crisp sound, the girl turned her head and touched her slightly red cheek. Surprise flashed across her eyes, and then she closed her mouth and stopped talking.

Lan Feng slowly withdrew his hand and snorted.

"Sorry, I can't help it... Do you remember? What did you say to Fu Hua when you first met her? What did you say to her when you saved Kiana?"

"I......"

"It's not me who made the promise to them, but you! Besides...you keep saying that you are fake when you leave Sirin's memory. Then let me ask you, as Sirin, is the relationship between you and Kiana also fake?"

240 Heart Knot >>

"No, it's just..."

"Just what? In the final analysis, you just can't bear the pressure in your heart, so you want to use death to solve the problem, right? There must be a limit to cowardice! As long as you are alive, there will definitely be pressure from all sides, and no one is exempt. With your mentality, everyone in the world might as well commit suicide."

"It's different if I... Hey! You?!"

The girl was about to say something in rebuttal, but when she looked up, she saw that the young man in front of her had begun to emit blue light spots like dust, which were slightly spreading outwards...

"Tsk, it's over so soon..."

Seeing the girl's astonished expression, Lan Feng lowered his head, looked at the blue light rising from his body, smiled bitterly and shook his head.

"Hey! What on earth is this...?"

Raising his hand to stop the girl who rushed forward in a hurry, Lan Feng spread out his hands, letting the light particles around him gradually become denser. His palms began to gradually become illusory from the fingertips...

"Hehe... Don't be nervous, Shirley. By the way, please allow me to continue to call you that. As you can see, I'm afraid I'll disappear soon, disappear in the true sense of the word..."

"What did you say...disappear? Wait! Why?!"

The situation before her eyes was beyond the girl's comprehension. She didn't understand why the spirit body existing in the consciousness space would collapse like this? Unless...

The girl's pupils shrank, and the calm expression she had maintained for a long time collapsed again.

"Are you committing suicide? Idiot! Idiot! You were trying to persuade me just now, but why are you doing this yourself?!"

Lan Feng showed a bit of helplessness on his face in response to the girl's roar.

"Don't be silly. How could I do that by myself? Actually, because a certain being likes you very much, I'm afraid that everything I did for you before has made it unhappy..."

"Some existence? It? What are you talking about?!"

Ignoring the question raised by the girl, Lan Feng exhaled, walked forward again, raised his translucent palm, and gently touched the girl's forehead.

"I still couldn't change your mind in the end. I'm not a competent grandfather... Then, how about you treat it as your friend's last request? Give up your identity as a Herrscher and stay with them..."

Lan Feng spoke softly, but the girl was thinking about something else. Suddenly, she hurriedly waved her hand to interrupt Lan Feng's words and raised her head.

"Some...existence?! Wait a minute! Lan Feng. If it is some unknown existence that threatens your consciousness, you might as well merge it with my consciousness right now. I can let my 'soul' be devoured by you. In this way, your consciousness can be preserved, and what I said before will be..."

Facing the girl's suggestion, Lan Feng covered her temple with a headache. With this action, more blue particles rose from her body, and her figure became more and more illusory...

"What do you mean by this? Dedication? You'd sacrifice your life for others, but you can't stand seeing others sacrifice themselves? What a selfish concept... Do you think you're great? Yes, you can end it all with self-satisfaction, but others should endure the pain and self-blame, continue to live on, and clean up the mess you left behind? You wish!"

Hearing this, the girl's pupils shrank after her thoughts were exposed, but she still shook her head hesitantly.

"But, you..."

"What do you mean by 'I'? I didn't do this for you. This ending is entirely my own fault. I forced you to become Shirley because I couldn't let go of Kiana and the others. That's right, I forced this on you! And you, obviously want to go back to your original life, but you can't let go of those things that have passed away... I say it again, you are Shirley! Not Sirin!"

"—!"

The girl was stunned. Finally, she changed her mind from not compromising at the beginning, and began to think carefully about whether she could give up those memories that belonged to "herself"...

As more and more light spots appeared, the soft light dyed the space bright blue. Lan Feng's body began to become transparent. Seeing the girl's pensive look, his expression gradually calmed down, and a faint smile appeared at the corner of his mouth.

"My departure is a foregone conclusion. It is something that cannot be changed. There is no point in merging with you. What to do is entirely up to you. You can listen to my 'last words'. Or you can go back to being your Second Herrscher. That's about it."

"How cunning..."

"what?"

"If you leave, I will be left alone. I can't kill myself in the consciousness space, so I can only face reality... However, after accepting Xilin's memory, I will definitely seek revenge when I return to reality in this state! But now I have been stained with your color, and I can't hurt them no matter what, so I can only... What do you mean it depends on me? By doing this, you have completely blocked my choice! You are so cunning... Lan Feng!"

The girl lowered her head, her silver hair mixed with purple covered her cheeks, and her facial expression could not be seen. Only a teardrop running down her cheek revealed her current mood.

If she cried before just because of her own helplessness and worry, then now, she is really crying for others...

In response, Lan Feng clapped his hands in praise and gave the girl a thumbs up.

"Hey~ You're pretty smart... It seems like it was just the Honkai that lowered your IQ. You're right to understand it this way, and now I can rest assured..."

The light particles dissipated, and his body became increasingly faint. He paused for a moment, and his voice had become as ethereal as when he was a shadow.

"Speaking of which, this is really giving me a headache. I was thinking of taking this opportunity to say goodbye to you properly, but who knew... ah, you are such a troublesome girl!"

As he spoke, he slowly raised his

Before his hand completely dissipated, he placed his already translucent hand on her head, looked at the girl who closed her eyes to hold back her tears, and whispered softly...

"Death is the end of life, but it cannot end the soul. I will not die, I will just leave this world... If there is a chance, we will meet again... Shirley."

The whispers gradually became quieter, and finally returned to complete silence. At the same time, the touch on her head also disappeared. The girl opened her eyes in astonishment, looking at the empty pure white space after the blue light particles completely dissipated, and burst into tears...