The civilization before the collapse, heroes and heroes are reborn with me

This dream has been haunting her for a long time. She has often dreamed of this scene since she first woke up with memories. At first, this door was very far away from her. In her dreams, she could only see it from afar. Then, not long after she returned from the Quantum Sea and obtained the Sumeru Mustard Seed from the pioneer, this door came to her.

Similarly, the faceless girl, like the door, was always staring at her, and would chat with her for a few words before the door got close enough to her.

The girl once said: "Aren't you curious about your origins? So I came here, from the other side of the underworld."

Bianca once thought about asking Bishop Otto for help, but... every time she left the dream and woke up in reality, she would give up the idea, bury everything deep in her heart, and keep it as her own secret.

And this girl was like a nightmare, persistently haunting herself and encouraging herself to open the door locked by countless chains. She told herself again and again that behind this door were all her memories before the age of 8, and as long as she opened this door, she would be able to remember everything.

"I always have the same question, how can you be sure that the memories behind the door are my memories?" Bianca asked in a deep voice.

"Whether it is or not depends on what you think." The girl chuckled and said, "But I think that instead of not believing it, it's more like you don't dare to open the door, fearing that what you just saw is the truth."

Bianca was silent.

"Why did you lose your memory before the age of eight? Why can't you find your relatives until now?" The girl jumped down from the gate, walked to her side, and said in a soft but bewitching voice, "And why did you first wake up in a sanatorium? Before becoming a Valkyrie, you still needed the Bishop of Destiny to be your attending physician?"

"..."

"I've been with you the longest since we were little, so don't I know what you're thinking? Face your heart, Bianca. You've never forgotten how to find your past. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here, right?"

"I……"

Don't you care? Really?

Bianca wanted to tell the girl that she had given up looking for her past long ago, because what was more important was the present and the future that was about to come. However, the girl told her over and over again that her past was not irretrievable, and told her over and over again that her heart longed to seek the past.

She wanted to refute, but she didn't know how to refute.

"You are envious, of course you are." The girl continued to bewitch, "Have you forgotten? You forgot the feeling of being homeless when Rita went home on her vacation. At that time, you realized that you were actually alone. Without the past, you are always lonely."

"Enough!" Bianca just spoke and found that her emotions were gradually getting out of control amid the girl's constant words.

She realized that she had completely entered the girl's rhythm. This girl... understood human nature better than Rita. Or, this girl was trying to manipulate her mind and make her think and act according to her rhythm.

However, he had no way to get rid of the girl from his dream.

Bianca even wondered if this girl was her other self.

Or perhaps, it is the other side of my childhood self that was born in loneliness.

She didn't know, she couldn't be sure.

But even if she realized that the girl was trying to control her mind, Bianca had no way of confirming whether the girl was kind or malicious towards her. She had interpreted for her the famous books she had read during the day, and had also pointed her in the right direction when she was adventuring in the quantum sea.

She was good to herself, but as for her friends, she often made herself assume the worst about them, and even once tried to instigate herself to hurt them.

When the door was close enough to her, she began to try to encourage herself to open the door to the memory of her lost life.

However, no matter how much she tried to persuade him with words, or how she could make herself unable to move or make any sound in her dreams, she never forced herself to open the door on this matter.

In her words, the decision-making power is always in her hands, and only she can open this door.

"Because the guy who originally locked it set it up like that~ I'm just a gatekeeper at best~"

This is how she explained it to herself.

"Who was the guy who locked it in the first place?" Bianca asked.

The girl did not directly answer Bianca's question, but told Bianca that it was that man who saved her life.

"Have I met him?" she asked again.

"You will have a chance to meet each other later."

They will meet in the future. Does that mean that she has never seen the person who saved her until now?

"Oh, how pitiful..."

While Bianca was still thinking about the previous conversation, the girl sighed slowly: "You don't have a past, you don't have any relatives, and even your name is chosen by yourself. Oh my..."

"What do you want to say?" Bianca frowned.

"What exactly do I want to say? What exactly do I want to express?" The girl seemed to think seriously. "Oh, don't think I'm that complicated. I really want to help you very seriously. You have to think about it. We grew up together. From childhood to adulthood, I have always been thinking about you, right?"

Indeed, although the image of the girl has always been vague, her body shape has changed along with his own since childhood, from a child to a girl.

As for the one who always thinks about herself, Bianca doesn't agree with it, but she can't deny it.

Although the girl had been encouraging herself to think the worst of others, such as Rita approached her with a mission, Otto had other intentions towards her, and all the things that happened during her adventure in the Quantum Sea...

Although her words sometimes worked and prevented those who wanted to harm her from doing so, in most cases, her words were subtly undermining her trust in other people.

Bianca knew very well that even if she turned a deaf ear to the girl's words now, as long as the situations she described happened one day, all her trust in other people would probably collapse in an instant.

Rita had confessed to herself very straightforwardly that her mission was to protect her own safety and take care of her own daily life, but the girl also told herself that there were many ways to deceive a person with disguise, and the easiest way to gain the trust of others was to tell only half of the truth.

These words immediately extinguished the joy I felt when I told the girl that Rita was trustworthy.

"You are suspicious of me who grew up with you, but you choose to trust Rita who has only been with you for a few years. Do you think... this is reasonable? You think I am guiding your thinking, but is your thinking being guided by Rita?" The girl's words rang out again, "Of course, you can choose not to believe me, because the choice is always in your hands, isn't it? You and I can only talk in dreams, and I can't affect reality."

"You have been urging me to open that door, so do you... know what is behind this door?" Bianca looked at the girl and asked seriously.

"Hmm..." The girl's attitude seemed to become serious. "I know that this has nothing to do with you. I can say that your past was very beautiful, or I can say that your past was very tragic, but whether it was true or not, you have to confirm it yourself, right? That is your past, a part of your life. Whether you choose to forget it or choose to remember it again, all the choices are in your hands."

"So, since the choice is in my hands, why do you keep trying to urge me to open this door?" Bianca asked again, "And why did this door appear in front of me at this time? Instead of when I was a child, when I was most curious about my past?"

"You'll have to ask that guy about that." The girl spread her hands again. "He set up this door so that it will only be open to you when you become an S-rank Valkyrie and are mature enough. This can be considered as a form of protection for you."

"His... protection of me? Then who is he? Why is he protecting me?"

"You have to ask him for the answer yourself. I told you that you will meet in the future, but not now." The girl turned and looked at the locked door. "I am not urging you to open this door. My main purpose is to urge you to make a decision as soon as possible. After all... that guy was rejected by the world. The door he left behind will not exist for too long. If you don't make a choice now, you will never have the chance to make a choice in the future."

The girl paused for a moment, then said lightly, "This door will disappear. After it disappears, your memory will never come back. Even if you see your past memories again in the future, it will be like seeing the image of another person. It will have nothing to do with you."

Bianca was silent for a long, long time.

"What are you hesitating about? Bianca, you are the strongest S-class Valkyrie who has fought for more than 30 days without sleep and annihilated countless Honkai beasts. Is it really so difficult for you to make a decision about the past? You will know your life experience and even meet your relatives after this. Or, you can choose to let it go completely and live forever under the name 'Bianca Atajina'."

"I……"

Bianca had never felt so confused before. As the girl said, she trusted Rita, and of course she trusted the girl, but... her past...

She thought again of the family of three that she had been dreaming about recently. She had no doubt that it was the girl's doing, but didn't that also mean one thing, that the girl had been hinting at her past, and there was a connection between it and the family of three that she had been showing her?

Would I... be the daughter who was buried under the rubble and abandoned by her father?

She said that her memory was sealed by the person she would meet in the future, and that she was saved by that person. That person believed that her past could only be revealed to her when she became an S-rank Valkyrie and was mature enough. Was this implying that he thought that memory was a bit heavy for her, and that this was a kind of protection for himself?

In addition, although the girl's tone was always light and full of seduction, she was always very serious when mentioning that person, as if she could ignore and joke about other things, but she would not deal with that person's affairs casually.

"Oh, by the way, I almost forgot. You did meet him before you lost your memories before the age of 8, but he sealed them all away. After all, he also hoped that you could have a relatively stable childhood instead of lying on the operating table."

"So, what you mean is that if I completely forget the past, it means that even if I see him again in the future, I will no longer have any related emotions, right?"

"Well, that's about right. Since you can't recognize him anyway, I won't tell you who he is. After all, you don't even remember him, so there's no need to know this anymore, right?"

Bianca was silent for a long time, and finally, she made a decision.

Saint Freya.

"Hmm? Bianca lifted the seal I set? That's earlier than I thought. But, if that's the case, so early..."

Chapter 16: Past Doubts

The next day, at the Destiny training ground.

The girl waved the lance in her hand. Even though she was carrying a lot of weight, she seemed to be unaffected at the moment and her body movements were still nimble.

After the last simulated enemy is pierced through with one shot, the simulation ends.

"Lord Youlandel." A gentle voice sounded behind the girl, "Your combat status seems to be a little off today. Is there something on your mind?"

Yulandel turned around and looked at the adjutant who had been with her for several years and was a few years older than her. Her schedule and daily life were mostly arranged by Rita, but...

"Indeed, I am a little worried..." Yulandel pressed her brows and said that the dream she had last night was just as the girl in the dream said. After she opened the door that sealed her memory, she did recall what happened at that time... Breaking into the Destiny Airport, entering the laboratory to take away the sister who looked like her, and escaping from the Destiny Airport in a flying vehicle with her father Siegfried Kaslana, and finally...

She was hit by a missile and fell from the cockpit. During her almost desperate fall, she saw... light.

Yes, light.

From her perspective, she saw herself surrounded by light, which gently wrapped her up, reducing most of the impact of falling from the snowy mountain, and she also saw the person who saved her.

Black hair and silver eyes...

Why did he seal his memory? The girl said it was for her protection. After waking up, Yulandel thought about it carefully and thought that it might be because her father Siegfried had defected with the important experimental subjects of Tianming. If she kept her memory and stayed in Tianming, there might be many disadvantages...

And it seemed like I had seen that person somewhere before?

However, my grandfather Leopold is the head of the Shanyiat family. Even if I haven't lost my memory, nothing will happen to me as long as my grandfather is around, right?

Could it be that there is a deeper reason?

During the years when I lost my memory, although my grandfather had always been paying attention to my growth, he never mentioned my identity... This shows that my grandfather should also know my identity, otherwise there would be no need for him to pay so much attention to a strange child. But why did my grandfather choose to hide it?

Yulandel felt that now that her memory had been restored, she was now in a state of confusion.

Kiana Kaslana, that was her original name...

What exactly did that person mean by protecting her? She believed that the girl had no need to lie to her, and that person had indeed protected her in the beginning, so there must be some deep meaning behind his doing so.

Then, over the years, I stayed in Tianming as Bianca Atagina, and saw Tianming's various comments on my father Siegfried from an outsider's perspective, and also saw the Shanyiat family's almost crazy hatred towards him.

Honestly speaking, my current understanding of my father is very different from Kiana Kaslana's understanding of her father, because in my daily life I can't help but interact with the Shanyati family, and of course the Shanyati family can't have a good attitude towards my father...

So...what attitude should I have towards my past now? Do I need to tell people around me that I have recovered my memory?

"Would it be convenient for you to talk to Rita? Maybe Rita can provide you with some help or something?" Rita asked.

Yulandel looked at Rita and remembered what the girl in her dream told her. She said that Rita might have hidden some truth from her. So, does this mean that Rita might have known her true identity for a long time?

After thinking for a while, Youlandel finally chose to bury it in her heart and said, "Come to think of it, I didn't see Mr. Leopold today?"

"After all, Lord Leopold is the patriarch of the Shaniyat family. Anti-Entropy's actions have been quite frequent recently, so Lord Leopold has naturally paid more attention to Anti-Entropy." Rita said as she observed Yulandel. Yulandel was not good at lying. Although she would occasionally be teased by Yulandel in return, Yulandel was essentially relatively simple.

It’s not right to say that she is naive. In most cases, Yulandel can judge and analyze the situation rationally. It’s just that she is too straightforward and appears naive.

Could it be... that Lady Yulandel remembered her past memories?

Rita guessed this in her heart. In fact, she knew Yulandel's identity from the beginning. Otto instructed her to protect Yulandel. Leopold also told her many times to take good care of Yulandel. If she had any needs, she could go to Shaniats' house to ask him.

So why didn't anyone want to tell Yulandel the truth about her life? They all cared about her...

But as a qualified maid, Rita knew that there were some things she shouldn't ask, so she finally remained silent and kept her questions in her heart.

The reason why Rita speculated that Yulandel might have recovered her memory was actually because she knew Yulandel too well. Just now when she asked Yulandel if she needed help, Yulandel's method of changing the subject was a bit awkward.

In addition, when Yulandel changes the subject, she will subconsciously turn the topic to another thing she is more concerned about. The relationship between Leopold and Yulandel is quite special, and it is difficult for Rita not to think about it that way.

So, should I tell the bishop and others about my speculation?

Rita thought so and saw that Yulandel still looked a little worried. Finally, she decided to keep the matter secret for the time being. After all, Yulandel didn't want her to know these things, which meant that she might have some ideas of her own, and she should respect Yulandel's ideas.

Then, Lady Yulandel remembered the memory, which might be troublesome to some extent. Leopold didn't know much about the situation in St. Freya, but Rita visited St. Freya many times because of the assignment of Bishop Otto. Rita also knew about what happened to Kiana there.

Otto and Theresa both reached a consensus on hiding Kiana's existence from Leopold, and as an excellent maid, Rita also knew very well what to say and what not to say, otherwise she would not have gained Otto's trust, become his confidant, and be assigned the long-term task of taking care of Yulandel.

But what if...Yulandel herself knew about Kiana? She knew that her father Siegfried had given her name to another clone...

This is a hurdle that not everyone can overcome. Although Yulandel never mentioned it on weekdays, and did not sound very concerned when she did, Rita knew that Yulandel still wanted to pursue her past, but this wish was a bit... too troublesome in reality.

What's more, sooner or later Yulandel will know about Kiana's existence, and they will definitely have a chance to meet in the end.

What should I do when that time comes?

Putting these factors aside, Yulandel's own position will become very difficult to decide. The current hatred of the Shanyiat family towards Siegfried is well known in Tianming. Even if Yulandel recovers her memory, it is impossible to neutralize the hatred of Shanyiat towards Siegfried. There is another hidden story behind what happened back then.

Otto told Rita about this matter clearly, but he did not elaborate on the details. He only said that it was enough for Rita to know this.

In other words, if Yulandel recovered her memory, she would face the crazy hunting of her father by her mother's relatives, and both sides were her relatives, which directly made her position very difficult.

Rita didn't know how Siegfried treated Yulandel as a father, but if we put aside the prejudice of the Shaniat family, Siegfried himself should not be a bad person... No, Rita knew more or less about what happened when Tianming defected. It was hard to imagine what kind of mentality Siegfried had when he came up with that kind of action.

But no matter what, Siegfried is Yulandel's father. During the time before he defected from the Mandate of Heaven, there were definitely beautiful memories between father and daughter. The Shanyiat family has always been friendly to Yulandel, but the hatred between the two sides is almost impossible to reconcile, and Yulandel must be very uncomfortable being caught in the middle.

While Rita was thinking, Yulandel had started training again, but she did not stop thinking at the same time.

She is slowly sorting out the many questions she has at this stage.

Who was the person who saved her? Why did they seal her memory? She also heard about the Shanyat family's pursuit of her father Siegfried, which was also a headache for her.

Also, how is the younger sister who was "rescued" by my father doing now?

When she regained her memory, she remembered everything about the period before her defection. Grandpa Leopold took her to the laboratory. Although she didn't know the purpose of the experiment, her grandfather was indeed concerned about her. Every time he went to the laboratory, he would buy her a lot of things...

The sister in the container who looked very much like her... She had seen it with her grandfather at the time. She asked her grandfather, "Is that her sister?", and her grandfather just gently touched the back of her head and replied, "She is not your sister, and you should not treat her as your sister."