You don't even want to call me godfather

"Father? How could you…"

Upon hearing this, Koshe's expression turned into shock. He had not expected that his father would know his origins, but this also further confirmed his thoughts that everything before him was just a false illusion.

"Msisha ah Msisha..." Ulysses sighed and shook his head, looking quite helpless. "It seems that you have been through a lot, kid."

"Ah..." Koshe was stunned for a moment. Facing his father, he looked a little at a loss. "No... It's nothing, father."

The two men sat face to face, both silent for a moment. There were often things between father and son that were in sync with each other, so even in the current situation, there was no need for words.

"You are under a lot of pressure, kid," Ulysses said after a long pause, "Why not tell me about the hardships you've been through."

"..." Koshe lowered his head slightly and looked at the ground under his feet. He hesitated for a while before saying, "You are dead, father. You were assassinated by William."

"Humph, that's not surprising," Ulysses laughed, seeming to be very open-minded, "That old fox is really capable of doing such a thing."

"Mother... I lost contact with her a long time ago. Destiny died at the hands of the new prime minister who took over the government. Lappland killed the family's cadres. I couldn't kill her, so I had to exile her. Ange... my love, I sent her away with my own hands. It's not safe for her to stay with me."

Koshei recounted a series of past events that he did not want to face again, and as he narrated, the smile on Ulysses' face gradually disappeared.

"Why are you here, kid?"

he asked.

"No... I don't know..." Koshe shook his head. He raised his head and looked at his father. "I only remember that I died in the Lateran, at the hands of the military commander of the Holy See."

"Huh..." Ulysses took a long breath, stroking his cheek with his hand, thinking about something, "Do you feel tired after going through all this, kid?"

"Yes, father, a little."

Koshe did not deny it, and there was no need for him to lie on this issue.

"Then if you were given a chance to stay in a beautiful world, a world where no one leaves, would you choose to stay?"

But faced with this choice, Koshe hesitated and did not give an answer.

"If you want to get away from it all, kid, hold my hand."

Ulysses looked at him and held out a hand, his meaning obvious.

As if subconsciously, Koshe slowly stretched out his hand and wanted to hold his father's hand.

This choice was very tempting to Koshei. Becoming a godfather too early did not bring him any benefits, but instead made him lose everything he had little by little.

Father, Destiny, Lapland, Ange, Iris.

Oh, and he also has irises.

“No, father,” Koshei suddenly gave up when he was about to touch his father’s hand. He withdrew his hand and clenched his fist as if he had thought of something. “This wonderful life is gone forever. I am destined to never have a peaceful day. This is my fate.”

Ulysses smiled when he heard this. He rubbed his fingers and put down his arms. The smile on his face showed his pride in Koshe's choice.

"Then go back, kid, go back to where you should be, and do what you should do," Ulysses leaned back in his chair, turned his chair around, and faced Koshei with his back. "Sometimes a man needs to persevere and protect those who need protection, and those you love."

Then Ulysses waved his hand, and in the blink of an eye, everything in front of Koshe disappeared.

The surroundings became extremely quiet, with only deathly darkness.

Darkness occupied his dreams, and he rode on the gray cage. While thinking, Koshe found that many purple flowers were blooming under his feet.

Unlike the flowers he knew, these flowers seemed more... dreamy.

Just as he was stunned, a hand reached out to him. He looked up and saw a girl with long dark purple hair, with her palm facing up as if to guide him where to go.

He wanted to grab that hand, but the moment he was about to touch her, everything around him disappeared.

Girl, flowers, road.

His body fell uncontrollably, and the all-too-real feeling of weightlessness woke him up from his dream.

Yes, I should be dead, this is just a dream.

His dreams were a cruel joke, they taunted him, and even in his dreams he knew he was an idiot who would never wake up.

The fall stopped and he felt himself lying on solid ground.

He got up and found himself in a sea of ​​flowers. Not far in front of him was a wide open door, and there was thick fog inside that made it impossible to see clearly.

Go in, a voice in his head told him.

He walked slowly towards the door.

Everything seemed to be arranged by humans. As Koshei walked into the door, the previous fog dissipated in an instant, revealing its true appearance, which was a dazzling light.

"Do you know what's waiting for you inside?"

And just as Koshe took a step forward, a low voice sounded in his ears. It was Msisha, he knew.

"I do not know."

"Farewell to the beautiful world and the loneliness of being alienated from others."

"I know."

"Your family, your friends, it's painful to abandon them."

"I know."

"Are you ready to leave?"

"Yes."

"This is a meaningless choice. Even if you go back, you will perish, and no one will even know about it, and no one will remember you."

"I don't need this."

After hearing Koshe's answer, Msisha stopped and remained silent for a moment.

"You know that in the future when you are in trouble you will deny the thoughts you have now, and you will know that you just wasted the opportunity."

Then He continued.

"I know."

Ignoring the advice in his ears, Koshe walked into the door without hesitation.

"But this is also an option."

After saying this, Msishha's voice disappeared completely.

As Koshei walked into the door, the light in front of him became more and more dazzling, and he couldn't help but cover his eyes with his hands.

Suddenly, the glow disappeared, replaced by a soft light.

Koshe put down his hand and what came into his sight was a strange room. There was a big bed in the room with two figures sitting on the bed. A woman was holding a book, and next to her sat a girl who was about seven or eight years old. The woman seemed to be telling a story to the girl.

“…Angie?”

Koshe recognized the woman's figure and couldn't help but take a step forward.

"Koshei, you're back?"

Hearing Koshe's voice, Anjie raised her head and looked at him. Different from the Anjie he remembered, she was older and more virtuous and mature.

"father!"

Unexpectedly, the girl got out of bed and ran towards Koshei, shouting a name that shocked him.

"Lucia! Don't run around in the room, or you might fall!"

Anjie also threw back the quilt, put her feet on the ground, and sat on the edge of the bed.

The girl named Lucia ran headfirst into Koshe's arms, and he looked incomprehensible and somewhat overwhelmed.

But then, a wave of memories flooded into his mind.

That was a very beautiful memory. Rhodes Island conquered the oripathy, and Angelina's condition gradually improved until she was completely cured. She married Koshe, bought a new house, and gave birth to a lovely daughter.

"But Dad has to go out every day! He doesn't come back until very late! Mom doesn't play with Lucia except telling stories, so Lucia is very bored at home..."

Lucia buried her head in Koshe's arms, rubbing against him and complaining a little aggrievedly.

Koshe was silent. He didn't know why he had to face a new dream even though he had made a choice.

Just like the dream about his father, mother, and Destiny, it was a scene so beautiful that it was hard for him to believe.

"Do you want to continue to stay in the lies of self-indulging or face the reality? It's your choice, Koshe," suddenly, Msisha's voice appeared in Koshe's mind again, "To control the hounds and the cubs, you need a strong enough spirit. If you are sober enough, you have to be ruthless enough, otherwise you will only be immersed in these beautiful things and unable to get out."

'What do you want me to do..., Msisha?'

Msisha's words gave Koshei a bad feeling. He put his hand on Lucia's head and rubbed it gently.

"He lost his humanity and killed his wife and daughter."

Koshe's hand trembled, and Lucia noticed the stiffness of his movement. She looked up at him in confusion.

"What happened to Dad?"

Lucia's clear eyes made Koshe's heart tormented. He didn't think that Msisha would joke with him at this time.

It's not that he is incapable of doing such a thing, nor is he a fool. He understands Msisha's intentions. If he wants to build a strong mental state, he must first destroy it.

But even if he knew that everything in front of him was an illusion, it was really hard for him to kill his wife and daughter...

"Dad... don't you like Lucia anymore?"

Lucia showed a pitiful expression. Although he had the instilled memories in his mind, Koshe also didn't know how to deal with creatures like children.

"Okay, Lucia, stop making things difficult for Dad."

At the critical moment, it was Anjie who spoke up to stop Lucia's behavior. She looked at Koshe and smiled gently.

"Hey~ I was just kidding with daddy, Lucia just needs to be with mom and dad!"

Lucia scratched her face with her hands and smiled happily.

"Well, Dad likes Lucia too," Koshe pulled the corners of his mouth and made a bitter smile. He squatted down, stroked Lucia's hair, and held her in his arms. "This is the only thing I swear comes from my heart."

While holding Lucia, Koshe raised his hands and covered his eyes for a moment, struggling internally.

"Hey hey hey."

Lucia laughed innocently, but the muzzle of the gun suddenly pressed against her chin made her look puzzled.

"But I'm sorry, Lucia. Goodbye."

Koshei put his hand down, tears seemed to well up in the corners of his eyes, and then he pulled the trigger.

"boom!"

"Lucia!" Gunshots rang out, and Anjie fell to the ground helplessly beside the bed. She ignored the pain and crawled towards her daughter's body, "Koshe! Why! How could you uh-"

Koshe took a step forward and grabbed Anjie's neck tightly. He looked down at her, his face stained with his daughter's blood, full of grief and pity.

"In order to return to reality, for the irises, for the hundreds of thousands of people in Syracuse, and only the two of us in my family..." Koshei gritted his teeth, tears gathering in his eyes but never falling. "For this... I must... kill you..."

"Uh... absolutely..." Anjie grabbed Koshe's arm with both hands, her nails dug deep into the flesh, but she couldn't shake Koshe at all. Her pupils shrank sharply as she stared at him, her eyes full of resentment and curses, "Unforgivable..."

"For...myself...I must..."

"Click——"

With the sound of the spine breaking, Anjie's body collapsed weakly, and the nails that were deeply embedded in Koshe's arms loosened and his hands slipped off.

But Koshei did not let go. He still held Anjie's neck tightly. The blood on his face dripped onto Anjie's face. He slowly knelt down, rested his forehead on the corpse in front of him, and cried silently.

His hands were shaking and bare, but he was neither a cruel man nor a crazy one.

Koshe raised his head, and the Anjie in front of him had turned into his own reflection without him noticing.

The reflection looked younger, showing him when he was still a godson. He looked at himself with disgust and disappointment.

That look was a torture more unbearable than death, but this sense of self-blame and guilt was like a curse, as if telling him that days like this would never end.

He couldn't bear it any longer.

It didn't matter whether it was Msisha or Idhaila who created this dream, he only had one request.

Don't let him have such meaningless dreams anymore. He doesn't want to lose something that is so rare to have.

Koshei loosened his hand, and the reflection in front of him disappeared. He took a few deep breaths and fell backwards.