I want to have a normal campus romance

"Found it... but also didn't find it."

Maybe it was because Xia Xiaoyao was a good listener, or maybe it was because this matter had been weighing on my mind for too long and I really wanted to find someone to talk to so I could feel better. So I didn't hide anything, but just leaned back on the sofa and recalled my previous experiences.

"That should be when I first entered university. I was immediately infected by the freedom and youthful atmosphere of university. Even though it was very tiring and busy...but the new life that was different from high school still made me pursue various things with pleasure."

As I said this, I looked at Xia Xiaoyao who was sitting next to me. I saw that she was sitting next to me very obediently. She didn't intend to interrupt me and looked like she was listening quietly.

I closed my eyes and leaned back, changing into a more comfortable position.

"During the military training, there were performances at night. I could play the guitar, so Fatty and his roommates pushed me to perform. I didn't refuse. After all, performing on stage means getting priority in choosing a spouse in college. In fact, I did find a girlfriend."

I lowered my head and looked at the pattern on the carpet. After taking a deep breath, I continued:

"She and I added each other on WeChat after the party. We had a pretty good chat at the time. She was very pretty and had many admirers. Maybe it was because I was impatient, or maybe I was too confident at the time. I just received a little hint and confessed to her. But I can be considered lucky... That's how I got my first... and probably my only girlfriend in college."

Perhaps it was because everything went too smoothly. At that time, I thought I was the so-called protagonist. I even thought the world revolved around me and that my future university life would be colorful.

"So...what happened next?"

"Later... I realized I was too naive. I thought that the other person gave me some hints, which meant that she liked me. I thought that even if I confessed my feelings to her, I would be able to pursue her. I thought that everything would be smooth sailing forever."

If I had realized earlier that I was in a honeypot and woke up from the false sweetness sooner, even if the ending of the story would not have changed, my ending might have been more decent.

"I wasn't a particularly outstanding person in college. I wasn't particularly talented or interesting. As a freshman, I was even a little naive. So it was obvious that in this era of fast-food romance, after the novelty wore off, she, who had no shortage of suitors, broke up with me very quickly."

"There was no grand ending, nor any so-called blessings to each other. It was just a few voice messages and a few red exclamation marks on WeChat."

Having said that, I touched the guitar in my hand, feeling mixed emotions. I can’t say that this feeling is uncomfortable, but of course... it’s definitely not pleasant either.

"I was a little dazed after the breakup. I didn't know if it was because I wanted to let her know that I could still live a comfortable life after the breakup, or because I wanted to prove that it wasn't my fault that I was dumped, so I signed up for the school's art performance."

"Art performance?"

After hearing what I said, Xia Xiaoyao seemed to have thought of something, and I smiled at her and then nodded to her.

"Yes, it's the poster I put up when we first met, but the art performance back then wasn't as grandly planned as this year's."

As I spoke, I rubbed my brows, and past memories flooded into my mind like a tide.

"At the time, I was full of confidence and even had a vengeful mentality. I took my guitar to the stage and felt that I was special and capable. But maybe it was bad luck, maybe I was too impetuous, or maybe God thought that my life was too smooth and wanted to wake me up. At the venue, I made many mistakes and stumbled through the whole song."

"Of course, I became a laughing stock at the art performance that year, and this also made me understand something, which is... I am no different from most people. I am just one of the masses."

Perhaps it was from that time that I changed from being outspoken to being introverted, from being reckless to being cautious, from being confused to being...clear-headed as I am now.

Chapter 204 Starlight

Thinking carefully, although I said that I wanted to quit because of the bad environment in the student union, I actually knew that I was just trying to escape from the past.

After all, every student union has to take on the responsibility of preparing for cultural and artistic performances. Even though I have mostly let go of the past, cultural and artistic performances will always be a not-so-good memory in my heart.

But what I didn’t expect was that after going around in circles, I not only didn’t get far, but ended up back at the starting point.

"Phew...it feels much better when I say it out loud."

I took a deep breath and shrugged slightly helplessly, breaking the depressing atmosphere I had created. Xia Xiaoyao also came back to her senses from her contemplation as if she had just woken up from a dream.

At this moment, a pleasant ringtone rang, which seemed very abrupt in this quiet bedroom. Xia Xiaoyao seemed to remember something and took out her mobile phone from her pocket. After seeing the caller ID on it, she couldn't help but frowned.

"Hello, it's me... I'm Xia Xiaoyao."

Hearing Xia Xiaoyao's formal tone, I could guess without even thinking about it that it was definitely something about the company.

"Yeah... I know. Didn't I just say that in the car? Yeah... yeah... that's right, I know."

Seeing this, I was very tactful and did not stay here any longer. After all, Xia Xiaoyao and I have a good relationship, but private matters are private matters and public matters are public matters.

It’s better for me to avoid such work-related matters, even though Xia Xiaoyao’s expression seems to tell me that she doesn’t mind me being here.

But my avoidance was not only to allow Xia Xiaoyao to feel at ease on the call, but also a way to protect myself. After all, the less I do things that can arouse other people's suspicion, the better.

"I'm going to wash my face."

Seeing this, I made up an excuse, walked out of the house, and helped Xia Xiaoyao close the door.

Xia Xiaoyao may not mind it, but I have to be aware of it. Seeing this, I put the guitar in my hand on the dining table and walked towards the kitchen.

In a girl's home, there are two places that boys should try not to set foot in. One is the bedroom, and the other is the bathroom.

I turned on the faucet in the kitchen and splashed some cold water on my face. The cold wind from the window blew on my face, making me feel much more sober.

I couldn't help but lean against the window and look at the scenery outside. The last rays of sunset had disappeared on the horizon as far as I could see, and the glow of the city dyed the distant sky dark orange.

There is no shadow of the moon on the dark canvas. All that can be seen is a star in the distance, hanging alone on it.

I glanced at the lonely star and was about to look away...but I accidentally discovered that there was also a star twinkling next to it, even though its light was much dimmer.

In the blink of an eye, the dim starlight disappeared from my sight. Perhaps the city lights covered its brilliance, or perhaps it was just a momentary illusion on my part.

Seeing this, I don’t know whether it was my unreasonable association or my subconscious behavior.

I turned my body slightly and stared blankly at Xia Xiaoyao's bedroom, but what came to my mind was the night sky that I had just looked at.

But at this moment, I just felt my arm hit something. I turned around and found it was a basket of grapes on the table. I couldn't help but say it was a close call... after all, I almost knocked it over.

Seeing this, I picked up the basket of grapes and opened the refrigerator beside it out of habit. Just as I was about to put the grapes in the refrigerator, I suddenly realized that this place... doesn't seem to be my home, and I was being a little too casual.

Fortunately, Xia Xiaoyao was still in the house talking on the phone, otherwise... I would probably have dug out a three-bedroom apartment with my feet on the spot.

I awkwardly put the grapes in my hand back to their place and was about to close the refrigerator door as if nothing had happened. However, when I saw what was in the refrigerator, I was stunned.

Because what is in the refrigerator is nothing else but a very exquisite-looking cake.

And the name outlined with jam on the white chocolate above is the name I am familiar with.

At this moment, I heard a click of the door opening behind me. I was startled by the sudden sound and turned around quickly, only to see Xia Xiaoyao walking and saying:

"Um, just now I——"

She stopped talking halfway through, her eyes slowly fixed on the refrigerator behind me, and the expression on her face changed from nervousness at first, to helplessness, and finally to a hint of calmness.

Compared to Xia Xiaoyao, my brain is in a mess at this moment, like a small boat sailing in a storm.

Is today Xia Xiaoyao’s birthday?

That's impossible. When I went to Baidu to check Xia Xiaoyao's personal information, I saw her birthday time in advance. She should have already celebrated it!

But I soon came to my senses. Although many people now celebrate their birthdays according to the Gregorian calendar, there are also some people who prefer to celebrate their birthdays according to the lunar calendar, because my family likes to celebrate my birthday according to the lunar calendar.

But...why didn’t Xia Xiaoyao tell me that it was her birthday today?

The most important thing is, on such an important day, why is Xia Xiaoyao's house empty, with no one coming? Even if there is no big fanfare for the banquet, it is normal to invite some relatives and friends.

Maybe they're already on their way? Then wouldn't it be... unnecessary for me to stay here?

Just when I was thinking about whether I should find an excuse to run away quickly to avoid causing trouble to Xia Xiaoyao, Xia Xiaoyao seemed to see my expression and said to me with a smile:

"It's okay. I didn't invite anyone from the company, and my family members are busy and can't leave, so no one is coming today."

"No one is coming?"

After hearing her words, I couldn't help but feel a little surprised. I was about to say...even if the company people don't want to invite and the family members are not around, we can still invite some friends. But the words just came to my lips and I swallowed them back.

"That's not the case. At least... you're here."

Xia Xiaoyao put her index finger on her chin, tilted her head to look at me, a smile on her face, and I seemed to have finally come to my senses at this moment.

"You didn't invite me here specially, did you?"

"Not really. I invited you for something serious, such as...something about the crew."

"..."

That totally seems like a by-the-way thing, right?

"Didn't you ask me to treat you to a meal in the car? This is just the right time."

"Eh?"

No way...

Was it waiting for me here?

But this doesn't seem to be particularly important. What's important is——

"By the way...why did you invite me here?"

To be honest, it's a stupid question to ask, but I still don't want to create any misunderstandings. After all, for most people, this kind of thing is not a big deal, let alone a big event like a birthday.

Even if a girl invites him to dinner alone, it can make many boys have the illusion of "does she like me?", let alone...a birthday?

Chapter 205 Loneliness

We just looked at each other without saying anything else, because we both knew that what I just said was not so much about why I was invited, but rather why I was the one who invited me.

"Because...you're the only one I can invite."

"Forehead......"

I was shocked by these sudden words that sounded like a confession. If I had heard such words in the past, I would definitely have lost my composure.

But now...well, I still feel a little uneasy and a little expectant inside, even though I don’t know what I’m expecting.

"Actually, that's not the way to say it. It's better to say... you're the only one I want to invite."

Xia Xiaoyao slowly leaned against the table beside me as she spoke, seeming to answer my question, but also like she was talking to herself as she continued with what she had just said, looking at the night view outside the window and continued:

"I actually have many identities. I can be Teacher Xia in the eyes of the crew, I can be Miss Xia in the eyes of my colleagues, and I can also be a star in the eyes of my fans. I have so many identities... that sometimes I don't know which one is the real me."

"Sometimes I think, maybe... I am only the real me when I close the door, lie on my bed, and stare at the ceiling. So... even if it's just for a moment, I hope I can be myself on my birthday."

So...after looking around, can I find that among the people attending her birthday party, I am the only "outsider" who is outside of all her social circles?

But am I not also part of her social circle? Am I really the "outsider" she mentioned?

At this moment, I began to question myself. In my eyes, was she the rising star in the music world, or just an ordinary girl named Xia Xiaoyao?

"Ahahahaha... Sorry, I think I said something weird without realizing it."

She smiled at me and twirled her hair with her fingers. I shrugged and said calmly:

"It doesn't matter......"

Revealing your true feelings to someone you are not very familiar with.

If it were in the past, I might have regarded Xia Xiaoyao's behavior as frankness, but now, I would regard Xia Xiaoyao's behavior as...loneliness.

As I was thinking this, I suddenly heard a rapid ringing sound in my pocket. I took out my cell phone from my pocket and found that the person calling was Fatty.

I pressed the answer button and put the phone to my ear, and then I heard the fat man's rough voice:

"Damn it, Xiaolin...where have you been fooling around again?"

"Ahem...what do you mean by fooling around? Um...what happened? Why are you calling me in such a hurry?"

I wanted to argue with him, but I was afraid that if I talked too much, it would lead to unnecessary complications, so I forced myself to change the subject halfway through my speech.

I know the habits of fat people. Basically, those who can send messages rarely make phone calls, and the calls are usually for urgent matters.

"Look at the time yourself. It will be time to close the dormitory soon. Are you going to spend another night out outside?"

After I heard what Fatty said, I was about to retort that I was not having a good night out, it was clearly just an accident! But just as I was about to speak, the voices of Xiao Li and Lao Wang came from the other end of the phone.

"Hey, Brother Lin... Tomorrow is the class of the department head. His class is notoriously strict about attendance. If you want to come back tomorrow morning, you will definitely be too late!"

"Yeah, you skipped his class last time. If you're late again this time, he'll definitely fail you!"

After hearing what they said, my eyes twitched and I suddenly remembered the last time I accidentally skipped class. After Fatty and the others finished talking to me, they didn't say much, just reminded me to come back early and hung up the phone.

"Um...I...why don't I take you back?"

At this moment, Xia Xiaoyao's voice came from beside me. I saw a flash of loneliness and melancholy in her eyes, but soon she returned to her usual smile.

"I'm going to change my clothes, please wait for me."

Go back early...?

That's true. I was lucky last time... Xiao Jingwen helped me make up for one day's leave. But that teacher also remembered me. If I want to do the same thing again, it probably won't be so easy.

If I'm really late for class tomorrow, maybe... I'll really be failed by the department head.