I changed green tea

I seem to have accumulated too much inhumanity in front of him.

I opened my mouth, wanting to say something cold and cruel to push him away.

But I can’t quite put it into words.

In the past days, I have been walking alone most of the time. Apart from my parents, who would care about my feelings? The only place where I can vent is DOTA. But in order to win DOTA, I still have to control my temper, after all, I want to get points.

Girls rarely show concern for me, and it seems like no one around me cares about my feelings.

When I was watching "My Goddess", I also fantasized about having a Belldandy by my side, who could know the kindness in my heart and would be by my side with just a phone call, even if I had nothing and was a poor student.

Just be gentle, attentive, hardworking and motivated.

But I am not as ambitious as Belldandy. My roommates know that I write books and even laugh at me. How can your books make money? Oh, it must be harem novels or x novels.

I have refuted it several times, but others still say the same thing, so I just think about it.

My life isn't full of ups and downs, just some slight prickly pains from trivial matters.

There are many small stories that illustrate my loneliness, but I never seem to have thought that Belldandy did not come to me, and I became Belldandy...

Of course, I am still far from being as gentle as Belldandy. In terms of appearance, I subjectively think Belldandy is still the most beautiful, but in the current situation, to some extent, there are still many similarities.

I only thought from a male perspective, which was too cold and hard, leaving no room for negotiation. In my heart, I could only suppress my understanding and comfort for him and reject any breeze that blew in.

I understood some things too intuitively, and I was a little too high up.

With the sense of superiority I inherited from Mu Mingxue and my current moderate success, I seem to be walking the old path of waiting to be sold at a high price?

When you hate your original self, do you really hate Mu Mingxue's soul, or do you hate your former humble self?

I clearly had dreamed day and night that there was someone in this world who could take care of me in every possible way and let me feel the sweetness of love, and I was willing to give everything for it. Although this thought was fleeting, I didn't expect that after I became a goddess, I was still unwilling to save the strange yet familiar self who was actively looking for direction.

If I deny myself? Then my original body + Mu Mingxue's soul are really meaningless? ?

This is obviously an outrageous statement!

If this goes on, Mu Mingxue's self-confidence might really be exhausted by me.

He is already very optimistic, extremely optimistic. His worries about gains and losses, his flip-flops, really don't make me feel much warmth from him.

I clearly gave him this warmth before, why is he afraid now?

Why? Qin Huan? Why? Mu Mingxue?

Yes, because in terms of social status, I am Mu Mingxue!

The hidden evil in the blood, disguised as kindness, is trying to make the former Mu Mingxue shut up completely.

I am eroding the edges of Mu Mingxue's personality that are different from mine.

This kind of spiritual exploitation and invisible oppression is even more suffocating.

What right do I have to hate my original self?

What qualifications do I have to deny Mu Mingxue's current situation?

Some of his remarks were extreme, but some of them were true.

I am completely denying his values ​​and even further denying his existence.

When I became the beneficiary, the scale of fairness was completely in my hands, and I was setting the hierarchy and rules in emotions... Now, my relationship with Mu Mingxue is not equal.

Just friends?

I am just giving alms, treating it as a memorial arch with my name engraved on it to show my kindness.

What is my thought: You have lost everything? Well, stay with me, and let me give you some benefits. Now you can enjoy the dividends brought by capital, why not? What have I done to you that is not good? I have already given you a share of the pie, you should know how good I am to you, right? Look, look at how great my kindness is! Can others do this?

Not enough, far from enough.

The relationship between us must be one of increase and decrease. I can discuss things with him in a more tactful way and be more gentle.

I clearly know how he feels, I can clearly think of it, so why doesn't he do it?

If I were to be a bad guy, I should have cut off all ties from the beginning.

But I have chosen to be a good person, I have already put the banner of "I am doing this for Mu Mingxue", and superficial kindness is not enough. Mu Mingxue will never be able to be independent, and the pressure will completely destroy her spirit.

What's even more frightening is that in the past three days, my sympathy for Mu Mingxue has decreased significantly, because I have been able to convince myself that I have been good enough to him and there is no need to give him anything more.

My reason for refusing is indeed very legitimate. Everyone has the freedom to love.

But my mentality, my behavior, and my series of words and deeds were like a series of daggers that pierced his emotions and were very hurtful.

It’s not that Mu Mingxue is greedy.

Why am I so cheerful and talkative with Jiang Yuncun? Because he is my sponsor, because he plays Dota, and because he likes the violent aesthetics in anime. All these are true, but subconsciously, isn't my chatting with him a sign of my success?

I finally decided to take out the darkness hidden deep inside of me, clean it up, and let it bask in the sun.

I finally started to criticize myself and stopped going further down this path.

I looked at the thin back of the former Mu and now Qin Huan.

I enjoy the supreme glory brought by female roles, but I also abandon the softness of women...

Almost home.

Mu Mingxue got out of the car, still with her head down, looking at the ground. Without waiting for me, she left in silence, losing her cheerful self.

I followed him and wanted to reach out my hand several times, but I hesitated.

It’s actually very simple, just reach out and hold him, just reach out your hand.

Standing at the elevator entrance.

I gritted my teeth, thinking it was time to face my mistakes and say sorry.

When the elevator came down and opened, a young couple walked out. They were arm in arm, smiling and talking about which movie they wanted to see in the afternoon. I subconsciously retracted my hand and missed the opportunity again.

Mu Mingxue pressed the button for our floor.

But the next second, a middle-aged man rushed in hurriedly. He went to a higher floor than us.

That is to say, if I hug him now, this middle-aged man with sparse hair and a greasy look will see it.

I feel a little ashamed.

Let’s talk about it upstairs.

But once I entered the room, while I was still anxiously untying the laces of my high heels, he had already gone upstairs, and the more anxious he became, the tighter he tied his shoes. When I raised my head, I heard the sound of the door closing, a thud, which sounded somewhat dull in my ears.

I hurried up the stairs, walking with the wind, trying to express my point quickly.

But the words were on the tip of my tongue, it was clearly a simple apology, but I stood in front of his door, unable to say them.

Can't I be more manly?

But what if I admit my mistake and he becomes even more demanding?

But it was obviously my fault.

I found my throat was a little dry. I never thought that admitting mistakes could be so painful and tangled.

Obviously I think clearly...

Chapter 75: A moment of tenderness between yin and yang (3/)

After I stood there for a few minutes, I steeled myself and was about to knock on the door to end my scratching thoughts, when my cell phone rang again, at just the right moment. It was Mu Wan again.

She told me very briefly that the electronic version of the contract had been found and sent to my WeChat, asking me to take a look to see if there were any problems.

Huh, I finally found an opportunity to talk to Mu Mingxue.

I used to be a reserved and self-glorious person who was high and mighty and charitable. Now, even if I know I was wrong, it is very uncomfortable for me to nail my yesterday self to the pillar of shame and apologize to Mu Mingxue sincerely.

It turns out that I am not that pretentious. Do I really think I am noble?

The nitpickers on Tieba and Blog are stubborn and refuse to change even when they are wrong. I used to sneer at this kind of behavior, but how many people can stand up and take the blame when they are wrong?

Most people stick to their own opinions, not to mention that what is in front of me now is a completely ambiguous matter. If I don’t say I’m wrong, no one will think I’m wrong, and no one will know...

"Mu...Mu Mingxue." I knocked on the door and raised my voice.

"What's wrong?" He didn't open the door, but just leaned against it.

"Mu Wan sent me a contract. Would you like to take a look at it together?" I remained restrained and spoke in a normal tone. It wouldn't be too late for me to show a little tenderness after I opened the door.

"No need, just watch. I'm in a bad mood right now, a little tired, and want to sleep." At this time, Mu Mingxue was probably too disappointed with my performance just now and turned me away.

I could force the door open, but wouldn't that make it seem like I'm desperate to get his forgiveness?

I took a step back, looked at the contract first, and wrote a chapter of the novel. I happened to have some inspiration now. As for Mu Mingxue, he was always there. At worst, I could talk to him in detail when I called him for dinner in the evening.

My mentality is a little unstable now. I am dodging and hiding, afraid that there are eyes out there who might laugh at my timidity.

I always feel that I have plenty of time and can explain everything clearly. I don't want to rush. I want to admit my mistake gracefully, and then consider changing my mindset and take the initiative to hug Mu Mingxue.

I know I'm still a little arrogant, but you have to give me some time to humble myself.

I returned to my room and looked at the contract that Mu Wan sent me. This electronic draft contract was only two pages long, which was really short among contracts.

After reading it once, I found that the penalty for our breach of contract was quite small. The only requirement was to put the logo of the "Yuncun Qianli" new media and to have some linkage with the official account. The rights related to the videos we shot will belong to the company within three years.

For commercial video shooting, it is necessary to negotiate with the company.

After considering the brand relevance, the company will appropriately propose the shooting of some commercial video advertisements. Both parties can negotiate. This agreement will only take effect after at least 3 months of original content production, and the value of the commercial video will be considered.

This fully respects my original enthusiasm.

If we violated the rules and withdrew directly without negotiation, the penalty would be a symbolic 30,000 yuan and the recovery of all subsidies and investments. Can this be called a punishment? This kind of punishment is almost as light as a feather.

The investment amount is written very clearly. For the first investment within this year, additional investment will be made based on the quality of the video and comments. The maximum amount is 200 million, and the contract is one year...

This kind of discount is really no different from pie in the sky. It can't be said that way. Angel investment is just a meal. Everyone is of the same mind. Investors have this idea, so they will invest. As long as you can come up with some gimmicks and business canvas...

But then again, even if Jiang Yuncun really has money, his hot money has nowhere to go and he wants to find a project to play with.

I am still very grateful. The image of Jiang Yuncun and Mu Wan in my mind has improved a lot.

I will definitely return the favor.

Mu Wan and Jiang Yuncun trust me so much, of course I am not just trying to become famous or make money for myself and Mu Mingxue, but more importantly, to repay you for your kindness on the Golden Stage.

It's fine to support Yulong and die for you, haha, it's not that excessive, but we must ensure high-quality video content, with more abundant and detailed information to cite, and we must also urge ourselves to continue to improve.

Such a contract is really not a constraint for me, but a great boost and recognition of my ability.

If Jiang Yuncun and Mu Wan didn't regard me as a rising star full of potential and hope, how could they give me this level of hospitality?

Money can open up my Ren and Du meridians, and it can also open up my inspiration. More importantly, this money is based on my passion and pursuit! Of course I won't be lazy. I called Mu Wan back and said happily that this contract is really good and tolerant.

"After all, I recommended you, and Jiang Yuncun is a very easy person to talk to if you like him. He just wants you to create excellent original works, and he doesn't have any other requirements. He didn't even want you to sign a contract. I think it should be more formal and have some constraints, but it's almost useless. Our goal is to stimulate your creative enthusiasm.

Cultural products are different from other things. As long as you have an idea, everything can revolve around you and the whole project can be completed. Moreover, according to your current video clicks, there are very good pearls in front, and the ones behind will not be far behind. "

Mu Wan's words really touched my heart. My sense of superiority quickly rose. After all, it was my writing style, after all, my eloquence, after all, my work!

Only I can get such investment, and only I can get Mu Wan's favor...

It was a relief that I was able to stay calm and not dance around like a child.

The one who praised me this time was Mu Wan. The upper limit was 200 million. I thought there would be a lot of conspiracies and tricks in the contract, or at least some traps common among capitalists, but what I had in front of me was a smooth road and a fertile land.

After hanging up the phone, I immediately turned on my computer, fed my previously digestive novel a mouthful of sweet sugar, and finished writing two chapters of the novel in one go.

I immediately started thinking about the next script, reading the news, reading forums, and reading x site...

Thinking is constantly accumulating, and quantitative changes lead to qualitative changes...

The afternoon passed quickly, until it became so dark that I had to turn on the lights. Then I remembered that I still had to apologize to Mu Mingxue and it was time for dinner.

I straightened my clothes, walked briskly, pushed the door open, and found that Mu Mingxue's bedroom door was open. Mu Mingxue had already changed clothes downstairs. When he saw me coming down, he didn't act as humble and enthusiastic as before, but just looked at his phone.