I changed green tea

I regard Qin Huan as my own support, and I want to be good to this person unconditionally. He carries my family, memories, social status and certain spiritual home. I believe in traditional fatalism, and I gradually develop the entanglement and weakness of a woman.

But if Jiang Fengqi didn't say anything...

I really don't understand. I'm really just spinning around in circles like an idiot. I've really become a woman. The subtle habits that come into being are very scary. Women's thinking is subtle and silent. I don't know how to resist at all.

There have been no villains in front of me before, whether it’s Jiang Fengqi or Jiang Yuncun, Qin Huan is a scumbag, but I still have to carry him with gentleness.

Why on earth should I go and call Qin Huan to task?

If I treat him as a child, shouldn't I be sincerely happy for him when he gets married and starts a family?

If I treat him as a scumbag who I have to love, then shouldn't I completely correct him into my shape?

But I didn't do anything, I was running away.

The reason is that I have lost the courage to think in certain ways, and weakness has taken over my irrationality. I have no choice. I am just a woman, and this ridiculous idea has actually taken root.

I really want to thank Jiang Fengqi. I must thank him. His Jack pot fired a powerful shot in my heart. With a boom, it broke the cliff of my heart that was already full of womanly flowers.

If he hadn't aroused my anger, the sudden burst of rebellious thoughts, perhaps I would have become a lost lamb, standing in front of Qin Huan or him to be slaughtered, and then I would have been flattered by this man who used to be a green tea girl, and would have run into him headfirst and fallen down in a daze.

There was a dull roar of thunder in the sky. After I walked along the street for 10 minutes, the first bean-sized raindrop fell on the ends of my hair. I looked up. It was a torrential summer thunderstorm. I was soon soaked through. The trees on the roadside were not lush, and the raindrops accurately penetrated the gaps and locked onto me. I didn't want to hide in a store. My skirt was vaguely showing off my extremely luxurious ice-cold body. I hailed a taxi, found the bus stop, and watched the rain flow along my stockings, as if everything was soaked in water.

Listen, listen to the cold rain?

The rustling sound reminded me of countless damp memories. Why on earth am I enduring such a life? I clearly have countless choices. I don’t know if this choice is a bad one, and whether making money is really that important to me.

This is where I lived when I started working. It was a loft. I didn't live in a damp basement, nor did I live in a cramped house of more than 100 square meters divided into 8 rooms. My life was completely rich, and my spiritual world was extremely fulfilling.

I did work hard, but in the end, all these efforts were like the rain, meaningless.

My care can be used by Jiang Fengqi, and my weakness still comes from my gentleness. I thought that my meaningless disturbance and artificial kindness were like a breeze. If Jiang Fengqi hadn't scolded me so directly to wake me up, I would still be dreaming.

I thought I was climbing a mountain, but in reality, I was just slowly falling into someone else's trap.

As long as I am a waste, no one can use me. Although this statement is very biased, at least I can get rid of this circle. I remembered what I had said to Qin Huan over and over again before: I am not interested in this.

I was so confident at that time, why have I forgotten it now?

I need this rainstorm, I need Jiang Fengqi to be a bad guy, I need to feel the oppression. My life has been too frivolous during this period. All my setbacks are nothing more than those emotions, not a miserable life.

95 ㈨０⑨

I can continue to work out, continue to write novels that no one knows about, continue to stay in my dorm, and continue to indulge in campus life. Now these things can still be used as material and inspiration.

What I was thinking about at that time was just this small piece of world.

For Qin Huan, I went further and further away and left myself in the wilderness. I thought about many things, but forgot that my dream was dota anime and novels.

When I was in elementary school, I wanted to be the owner of a small shop in front of the school so that I could eat sausages for free.

When I was in junior high school, my dream was to be a network administrator in an Internet cafe so that I could play with computers freely.

My dream in high school was to become a professional DOTA player and win the TI trophy.

When I went to university, my dream was to live a life of idleness and wait for death, and not feel any shame or regret about wasting my time.

I was still grinning foolishly when I got into the car. The driver thought I was mentally ill and my makeup was smudged. He asked me if something happened and whether I wanted to call the police.

I left a mark on the seat of his car, and feeling a little embarrassed, I added an 8 dollar tip.

I finally remembered about self-criticism, and finally recalled that I should reflect on myself three times a day.

I went home and took a hot bath. I felt dizzy, but luckily I didn't have a fever.

Qin Huan sent me several V messages, and Jiang Fengqi was still waiting for me on the other end. What I said before that it didn’t matter, actually it did matter. The previous irritability and reliance on the game were all false.

I don't remember any details of my Dota playing process at all. I just mechanically treated Dota as entertainment. I no longer have the passion I once had in my mind. Even if I played Fallout 4 for a whole night, I was just using the wasteland to escape myself.

I'm not enjoying the game, I'm not immersed in it.

I watched myself, who had infinite possibilities, being locked in such a framework.

Qin Huan was free as a bird in the sky, he never considered anything else, he just did whatever he wanted to do. He was now so free to control his youth and indulge in his unbridled desires, he thought he was invincible on my emotional battlefield.

When I woke up the next day, I happened to unbox Immortal II.

I didn't think about it for long, and going back to my original life... It's not difficult as long as you have the mindset. The two endings Jiang Fengqi mentioned are the ones I can't accept the most.

What I fear most is my own degeneration and casualness. Freedom is by no means indulgence, but independent thinking.

The worries and fears I've had during this period have made me completely lose the ability to think. At this moment, I finally understand that Jiang Fengqi is disgusting, Qin Huan is also disgusting, but the most disgusting one... seems to be myself.

Chapter 133 Farewell, My Dream City (2/)

Fortunately, it is not too late now. After waking up, I sent a message to Jiang Fengqi, "Thank you, Mr. Jiang, for enlightening me when I was most confused. You pointed me in the right direction. Without your words, I really don't know what to do. Thank you again, your scolding woke me up, and I seem to know what I should do~"

I threw the clothes that I hurriedly threw on the ground yesterday into the washing machine, took out my mobile phone, uninstalled x blog, and looked at my music. It hadn’t been updated for a long time.

I didn't wear any makeup, just tied my hair up casually, wore a loose T-shirt and denim shorts, and started calling Jiang Yuncun.

There is no need to worry about whether Jiang Yuncun is in cahoots with Jiang Fengqi, no need to wonder what Jiang Fengqi is like, no need to play tricks with Bai Zhi, no need to hear Mu Wan's voice again, and no need to blame Mu Wan for playing me around. They are all right.

It is reasonable for a rich man to want to have some fun and watch a girl who is not worldly slowly corrupt and degenerate. The purpose of playing cat and mouse is to have enough fun before eating.

Who is whose accomplice, who is doing bad things, and what role I play, it doesn't matter, I am still a virgin, I still have inspiration, I haven't wasted my life, I won't be stupid enough to return the reward that Jiang Yuncun should give me, not all wanderers have lost themselves~

Start a new life?

No, go back to the old life.

Before making the call, I stretched, thought for a moment, and ordered a sandwich and hot milk. The last episode of Cowboy Bebop was playing silently on the computer interface.

I called Jiang Yuncun.

"Hey, Mr. Jiang."

"What's wrong Mingxue?"

"Let me tell you something. Due to personal reasons... I may not be able to continue working for you." I smiled.

"Ah? Mingxue? You? What did you say?" Jiang Yuncun was extremely surprised. "Are you going home to rest for a while? Yes, you have been working hard on writing scripts recently. You have already done so many episodes..."

"No, Mr. Jiang, I won't continue in the future. I will send you my x-blog account password and I won't take it away. You can seal it or destroy it, it doesn't matter. I will write another script for you in the next two days, which will be my last ripple." My voice was relaxed. I gave up everything that was like a dream now, gave up the x-blog account worth millions, gave up the opportunity to become a hot topic and make appearances, and gave up expressing my beauty in front of the camera.

Things that I thought were impossible before, things that I felt were too cautious and worried about gains and losses, now I have completely let go. My desire for material things has dropped rapidly again. I know the price. Before, I accepted it in silence, whether it was Jiang Fengqi or him, but now I can no longer remain silent.

Jiang Fengqi didn't know, and even I didn't know, that after he said that, I had only one choice before me, and that was to leave, to leave this circle, no matter the fame and fortune or the influx of hot money, no matter the glamour or the feasting, no matter the decadence or the chaos.

I don't need to see it anymore.

Why couldn’t I give up Qin Huan before this?

Because I couldn't give up the gem in my hand, and I couldn't give up this circle, it made me expand rapidly, and made me feel like an opinion leader. I could do anything on xbo and call the shots as long as I wanted to.

My comments were all well received, and I was praised everywhere. My willfulness is cute, my foul mouth is real, my abstraction is art, and my complaints are the truth.

Immersed in an unknown carnival, I felt that I was not alone. I felt that I could control Qin Huan, I could control many things, and I felt that my platform was unbreakable.

I am deeply immersed in success and circles, and the dream represented by Qin Huan satisfies this need of mine to some extent.

"Mingxue? Are you kidding? Our business is booming now? Your clicks are so high, and you tell me you're leaving?? What happened? Is it because of Qin Huan? Or Jiang Fengqi? Who bullied you and what did they say? Mingxue? Tell me if you have any problems, I will definitely help you solve them!"

"No need, Mr. Jiang, it's okay. It's nobody's business. I've been working for so long during the summer vacation, and I feel your ability. On the other hand, I think it's enough. My script is indeed solidified and there's not much to it. I want to experience a different life, not like this one now."

"Mingxue, what will the company do without you? I invested in you, and the entire team revolves around you... We can discuss everything. Are you still uncomfortable with Bai Zhi's matter?

Don't be like this, Mu Mingxue, we have just started to get started, don't we have the same aspirations?

Are you just going to walk away like this? That's irresponsible of you. You can't be so childish. I need your script, but I need you as a person even more."

Jiang Yuncun's words were sonorous and powerful, but at this moment, my mood was like a bird flying with the wind, with its wings spread and its knees facing the breeze. I knew that this was selfish, ridiculous, childish, willful, and youthful. I must be a fool in the eyes of others.

"The company is good, and you are good too... but please respect my choice. I am not just making a hasty decision, I have considered it carefully. I also have things I need to try, and my horizons are too narrow right now. Maybe one day I will come back and help you write the script."

"Mu Mingxue... I can hear that now, nothing I say can persuade you, right? Every word you say is about you. I am no longer your like-minded friend. You are beginning to feel distant towards me. You have made up your mind to leave, and I really can't keep you.

I don't know why you suddenly became so disheartened, and there is no trace of attachment in your words, but I still choose to respect you.

You are also qualified to try new things. After all, we haven’t signed a contract. You can take your blog account with you. Update it when you want. If not for your career, at least for those who are waiting to see you…”

"They were waiting to see me, and I didn't even have time to see myself..." I smiled. "I want to travel."

Should I go to see the snow on Long Island or to listen to the wind in Lordaeron?

“…My door is always open to you.” Jiang Yuncun sighed helplessly, but still said such nice words.

I think I should care about his feelings, because he is very kind to me.

But now, I want to live for myself, be a little selfish, and quit at the peak of my career.

Others don't need my space, I give it to myself~

Qin Huan became the kind of person he wanted to be. The story that failed to come true with Mu Mingxue came true with Qin Huan.

What about me? I should also work hard towards the person I want to be. The sun is shining and the sky is clear.

When I was Qin Huan, no one could deny my freedom and casualness, and no one would give me concise care in an unattended corner, but I was not alone. Those who should go to Kaer Morhen can always find their own way.

Now I am like a young person who completely relaxes after knowing his results in the college entrance examination.

Jiang Yuncun’s rationality, Jiang Yuncun’s truth, and Jiang Yuncun’s care cannot keep me.

Farewell, Jiang family, farewell, my dream city~

Chapter 134 My Little Perfection (1/)

"Mu Mingxue, are you still pretending? I advise you to take back what you said right now, or if you regret it a week later, I will charge you interest." I didn't find Jiang Fengqi's reply so funny. If it was an ordinary girl, it would be...

But it was him.

Actually, I can’t explain why I have such a strong resentment towards Jiang Fengqi. When I think about the possibility of being touched by him, it feels like a night demon in the dark night scratching me to pieces with one claw. It’s really creepy.

What's more important is that Jiang Fengqi is too knowledgeable. The desires in the hearts of men and women are so typical and so ridiculous and humble when presented to him. You say he understands it, and he even says it out loud. He is not a fool and is very smart. The most hateful thing is that half of his intelligence is shared with scheming.

What is our tradition? The tradition is that you can let me give you something in private, but the formalities must be maintained. Jiang Fengqi is a good guy who stripped you clean. How can you let me stay?

As soon as I closed my eyes, I thought that if I stayed, I would definitely be exposed. It might not just be Jiang Fengqi, but Qin Huan as well... The door he invited me in was inlaid with gold, but inside was hell. He said it bluntly, and I could not accept it no matter what.

"Okay." This was the only thing I said in response. I didn't have any other emotions, and I didn't want to have any other emotions.

"Keep pretending to be calm, silly Mingxue. I wonder how long you can keep pretending." Although it was just words, I could still see Jiang Fengqi's disdain. My previous behavior was a bit too disdainful. After all, dignity cannot be eaten. If I can't write novels, and only have beauty and the dream of becoming an Internet celebrity, then just give it to me. It's a pity that I am not Mu Mingxue after all.

I took a deep breath and went to the website to exchange for a leave application.

I said in the group, "No more updates today."

"What the hell? Author, what have you been doing lately? You've been wasting time updating twice a day, and you haven't updated anything today."

"Yes."

"Did your grades get bad this month?" K asked.

"This guy updates too slowly, so he deserves the poor results. Never mind, I still have some pocket money left from last month, so I'll give you 1000 blades as a reward. Guarantee me 18 words." It's always like this under the moon.

"Well, I'll give 1000 too. You haven't spoken in the group recently. Money can indeed stimulate creative passion." Long Teng Sihai sent a smiling emoticon.

"No, no need to reward me. I'll reward you when I update more. I've been in poor condition these past two days and can't even guarantee 18 this month. No matter how many blades I have, isn't it a waste?" After I sent this message, the group fell silent. The book friends who had been talking nonsense and discussing abstractly about which Fog and three-wheeled vehicle in Arknights was the best were silent for almost a minute.

"You... are the author?" K typed these words with confusion.

"??? You don't want money? You used to chase us every day to ask for razor blades, saying that you only care about money...Are you okay? I want to give you a reward but you don't want it? Are you really not in good condition? Otherwise, I'll just transfer it to you through WeChat?"

"Really, no need. I'm going out now. That's it. I'll ask for it when I get to 18 words."

"If you don't want to write anymore, tell us as soon as possible. If you have any difficulties, you can tell us. As long as it has something to do with money, we can think of a solution."

"Thank you, Long Teng. It's just a matter of mentality. I've adjusted myself. I'm still the same me. I work hard and save money. I'm still the me who only cares about money. Now I'm just raising leeks~"

I closed QQ with a smile. Compared with Qin Huan, the feelings I have for the readers in the book club are pitifully little. They only know me through words, but they can still give me some warmth to a certain extent.

As for why I didn’t write today and instead asked for leave, it’s of course to... play Dota.

That day, I played all night. When I played the first game, I was not in the state yet. When I played the second game, I started to throw roulette. When I played the third game, I started to command my teammates. When I played the fourth game, I started to scold people on the line. In the fifth game, I was furious. In the sixth game, I found a way out. In the seventh game, I doubted my life and chose a support to take advantage of the situation and was beaten up by the opponent. In the eighth game, I chose the big brother and gambled everything, betting 500 tokens to double the points and begging my teammates to let me win a game. In the ninth game, I thought that if I won, I would play another game. In the tenth game, everything went smoothly and I started to sing the sakura tune of my hometown. In the eleventh game, I looked up and it was already dawn.

I saw the sun at five o'clock in Hangzhou, how about you?