I was the one who was causing the collapse of the iron.

Thinking of this, Xu Nuo put on the badge, and then he asked Jackdaw with some curiosity.

"Judge Jackdaw, do you have any special feelings?"

"How does it feel?"

"We are already lovers, don't you feel happy?"

"No."

"You answered too quickly."

Xu Nuo didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but hearing Jackdaw's calm tone, it was obvious that the badge didn't seem to have any effect on him.

Of course, it is also possible that the other person has no idea what it feels like to be in love.

After all, the description of the badge, illusion, is itself a very interesting word.

Does this illusion refer to the illusion of the suspension bridge effect?

It's normal that it has no effect on Jackdaw. Not only Jackdaw, it must have no effect on Bai Heng and Jing Liu as well. Maybe the effect may be more obvious on ordinary women.

Xu Nuo thought so and didn't care too much. After all, the system said that he made a living by his looks and didn't need these fancy abilities at all.

"If you want, I can try to act like I'm in love. Let's start with the name, honey?"

As if he felt that his answer might not be so good and he did not consider Xu Nuo's feelings, Jackdaw thought about it and called the man tentatively.

This call made Xu Nuo shudder all over, as if a female ghost came to claim his life.

"Judge Jackdaw, could you please speak in a more normal tone?"

"Is my tone abnormal?"

"Okay, what tone do you think should be used when calling someone dear?"

"Including love?"

"Oh, it seems you understand. Do you know the problem now?"

"Honey……"

The jackdaw thought for a moment, then prolonged its voice and called out with great affection.

Well, this is at least a thousand-year-old ghost.

"Forget it, Judge Jackdaw, you should be more normal. If you keep yelling like that, I'm afraid I'll go limp halfway through. It would be better if you could stop talking. I think you might be more elegant when you don't talk."

"Oh... I'm sorry, but I, I don't know why it's like this. Joy, anger, sorrow, happiness, I know these emotions clearly, they are spinning around in my fingertips, but when I try to clench my fist and squeeze them, I can't grab anything."

Is it lost?

But the woman's tone remained calm, without the slightest ups and downs.

Xu Nuo couldn't help but feel a little distressed for the other person. He leaned on the woman's chest, listening to the heartbeat coming from his ears.

There was a warm body in his arms, but it was empty inside, without any human part.

Compared to Snow Clothes who is already a doll, this Jackdaw is obviously more pitiful.

"I tried very hard to remember everything, but I still forget, little by little. But at least I don't want to forget the things related to my sister. I can't believe that if one day I forget my sister..."

"That's why I keep talking, talking non-stop, constantly reminding myself not to forget important things. But there is no one in the Ten Kings Division who can listen to me. I am the judge of the Ten Kings Division, and I must show the majesty of a judge. I'm sorry that it may be a bit nagging, but I must keep talking."

"It's okay, it's okay. You can talk as long as you want. Isn't this part of our deal? I'll be your audience, and you'll satisfy my needs."

The body in his arms began to tremble slightly again. Xu Nuo gently stroked her to calm the woman's inner anxiety.

"Well, I will continue. I have many things to say, about the Ten Kings Division, about my sister, about work, and about the demonic body."

"Don't worry, take your time. We have a lot of time, don't we?"

Time passed minute by minute, and Xu Nuo didn't know how long he had listened to the story told by the jackdaw.

The woman's thoughts seemed a little jumpy and confused, and so was the story she told.

While talking about the distant past, under the blue sky and white clouds, she made a wreath and put it on her sister's head.

When talking about her current job, she kept reminding her sister to be careful and take care of herself, but her sister always hurt her health.

There is also the nightmare deep in the soul, the shattered Cangcheng Immortal Boat, and the burning planet falling from the sky.

Slowly, Xu Nuo's consciousness became a little fuzzy, and then the man fell asleep on Jackdaw's chest.

As if she felt that the boy in her arms had fallen asleep, Jackdaw stopped telling the story. She gently stroked his face, as if she was thinking about something, and then she slowly spoke.

"The mind is clear, without any signs of being infected by the power of the plague. It's not that I don't have sexual desire, but I'm confused and lack a sense of security, so I pursue and yearn for motherhood, and long to be needed and protected."

Feeling the young man's hand tightly grasping his, unwilling to let go even when he fell asleep, the Jackdaw's flat tone seemed to become gentler.

"You should have nothing to do with the Plague Ancestor, but I'm sorry, I still have to enter your dream and take a look at your memory."

Chapter 47 Life is like a dream

The Jackdaw closed his eyes and touched the ocean of consciousness, as if he was sinking into the cold sea water.

A huge stream of information washed over her sea of ​​consciousness. Even though she had experienced dream interpretation countless times, the woman still found it difficult to get used to this feeling.

Anger, desire, hatred, fear, exhaustion, and other emotions flowed through her body. She experienced all kinds of human emotions, but Jackdaw's face did not show any fluctuations, nor any sympathy.

Jackdaw knew that this was what she was missing, the rich and colorful human emotions, but all of this was colorless and transparent in her eyes.

She couldn't understand or empathize.

Where do memories and consciousness go after death?

Will it wander in the universe like a lonely ghost, or fall into the flowing memory garden and be treasured by the messenger of memory.

Thinking is existence, and memory is the evidence of existence. The material that makes up the material world will eventually perish, but it can survive in another way.

Jackdaw no longer remembered how many people's memories she had looked through. Those people had long since passed away. She could not remember their names or their appearances, but the memories of them still existed in her sea of ​​consciousness.

That was their complete life and proof that they had ever existed.

Sometimes Jackdaw would think, if one day he was dominated by one of those memories, would he still be himself?

Does this mean that someone else is reborn in your body?

Am I a jackdaw that possesses the memories of many others, or is the life called jackdaw just a memory that I have?

So...who am I?

Because of the doubt in self-awareness, a dark color of pain appeared on the Jackdaw's face.

Fortunately, this was not the first time she had encountered this situation, and the woman quickly adjusted her mentality.

Memories are just memories after all. Dead memories are just a long piece of data, thin and boring, and unable to dominate self-consciousness.

It doesn’t matter who you are, and it doesn’t matter what your past is. What matters is your mission as Judge Jackdaw at this moment.

Stepping over these illusory memories, Jackdaw raised his hand to touch another flickering light in front of him.

That was Xu Nuo's sea of ​​consciousness, and also the memory she wanted to explore.

Those who have fallen into the evil spirit realm are often mad and confused, and their memories are as prickly as thorns. This is the first time that Jackdaw has read the memory of a normal person.

Maybe it wasn't the first time, but the woman had no memory of the last time she did this.

"So the consciousness of ordinary people is like this, gentle and warm."

The disturbing memories and emotions dissipated quickly like snow under the sun. The crow touched the warm halo and then immersed his consciousness in it.

I opened my eyes and saw a pure white ceiling in front of me.

The body lying on the hospital bed was unable to move at all, and the stabbing pain that penetrated deep into the bone marrow continued to come from all over the body.

Every time I breathe, it feels like a blade is scraping across my trachea, and there is always a strong smell of rust spreading between my lips and teeth.

I could hear the beeping of the heart monitor, but other than that the whole room was as silent as death.

One day, ten days, a hundred days, a year.

From time to time, people in white coats walked past the bed. They turned over and checked his body, talked in low voices, and wrote down something.

Men, women, old and young, whose faces could not be seen clearly, were coming in and out. They had solemn expressions and seemed to be talking about something in a heavy atmosphere.

But slowly, fewer and fewer people came, until in the end there was only one man and one woman left. They stood in front of him, covering their mouths and crying silently.

So who am I? I am 'promise', what am I doing?

I'm waiting to die.

This was the life of a young boy named Xu Nuo, a poor and boring life.

The Jackdaw's eyes snapped open, breaking free of the promised life and regaining consciousness.

However, she did not really wake up, and the woman found it strange that she was still lying on the hospital bed.

Am I...trapped in a dream?

"No, I should say I am trapped in the promised dream."

Jackdaw spoke to himself, and then the woman sat up on the bed.

The quilt slipped off, revealing the body wrapped in a white patient gown. The gown didn't fit her well and seemed to be one size too small. As the jackdaw moved, it was lifted up, revealing a section of the woman's white and slender waist, with her delicate waist dimples and round belly button clearly visible.

Looking up, some thin shirts were bulging high, and the buttons were stretched to the limit, making people worry that they would fly off at any second.

Being trapped in false memories is a common occurrence for Jackdaw, but that is because she is lost in someone else's life. In essence, she is trapped in her own dream.

But in this situation, the person who dominated the dream was obviously Xu Nuo.

However, after all, the dream interpretation method this time was completely different from the previous ones, so the Jackdaw was not too panicked.

And soon, the Jackdaw figured out the problem through its rich experience.

Generally speaking, she would experience and deal with the lives of several people during one sleep, but this time, she only had Xu Nuo, whose life was so brief and simple. She woke up naturally after the experience, which was why she regained her self-awareness so quickly.

I woke up, but the other person didn't, so the dream naturally didn't end and will continue.

Of course, with Jackdaw's mental strength, it is not difficult to break free from this dream by force, but doing so may cause serious mental damage to Xu Nuo.

"It would be nice to stay in this dream for a while. It can be considered as a rare leisure time. Ahem, no, it is a good opportunity for me to get to know him better through this dream. After all, his life is really..."

Thinking back to the life he had just experienced, the crow sighed, and a bit of pity appeared in his heart.

She really wanted to do something to comfort the poor boy and see a happy smile on his face.

But soon, the jackdaw discovered something wrong again.

"I... feel pity and love for him? And this strange feeling that I can't explain, what exactly is it..."

The woman covered her plump chest with her hands, a look of confusion and bewilderment on her face.

Originally, she always felt that her heart was empty, as if something was missing, but now, she found that there seemed to be some inexplicable emotion in her chest.

"Is this... is this happiness? Longing? Or love, joy? Strange... Strange... Why is it like this? Is it because this is the promised dream?"

Chapter 48: Dream Rehearsal

Feelings are abstract and idealistic things, and their existence cannot be proved by any substantial material.

We cry because of sad things and feel happy because of happy things. This happiness and sadness are themselves a subjective and internal emotional state.

The jackdaw's emotional cognitive disorder is caused by reading too many other people's memories, experiencing too many other people's lives, and experiencing too many unpredictable emotions.

This is a self-protection mechanism, otherwise the woman might have gone crazy because of these memories.

Theoretically, this disease has no cure, unless Jackdaw completely abandons those memories and no longer performs his duties as a judge.

"So, because I am now... in a dream constructed by Xu Nuo's consciousness, I share his emotions?"

Jackdaw spoke to himself, feeling a little excited, the woman's heartbeat began to speed up, and his whole body was slightly aroused.

Excited, thrilled, and happy, she enjoyed this inexplicable feeling of being out of control and indulged in these complex emotions.

"Yes... I experience other people's lives in my dreams and can experience other people's joys, sorrows, anger and happiness. Although I can't empathize with them after waking up, those emotions still exist. Although I have regained my self-consciousness now, I am still in the dream of Xu Nuo, so I can have normal emotions."

"Forget it, these are not important. What's important is..."

She jumped up from the bed, stepped barefoot on the tiles of the ward, and skipped to the window like an innocent little girl.

Pushing open the window, the Jackdaw took a deep breath, then shouted to the sunny world outside the window.

"Sister, I miss you so much. I really want to go back to the past with you, to that carefree childhood... I really want to... really want to..."