Longmen Memoirs

Chapter 38 Tonight, no one sleeps ([-]) Wei Yanwu

Later, I gradually understood that farewell and departure are common things. We will continue to grow up, continue to meet new people, and also say goodbye to some important people.

Many times there is no direct conflict, and no one does it intentionally, but when we look back, we are far apart from each other, so far away that we have almost forgotten each other's faces and voices.

I walked farther and farther on this road, and when I stopped, I realized that my face had become blurry.

Therefore, I would rather rely on my own strength to open up my future than to be favored by a powerful person, or regard it as a pity for me. My ridiculous dignity has long been riddled with holes, and I have no place to be ashamed of.

------

The old Rat King tells the young Chen Mo a past that is not very new but full of passion and hope.

From the perspective of a gang leader in Xiacheng District, I have a heartfelt impression of the young man who went to Longmen with his sister and a few followers more than 20 years ago and took over the city with his own strength. Inner appreciation, exclamation and admiration.

His backbone, his ambition, his ambition and his uprightness all prove that this young man who was born noble and had a bumpy future could talk and laugh happily in the face of thorns, and be free and confident in the face of suffering.

The past 20 years ago.

That courageous young man, loyal and upright, an admirable and longing leader, he once had all the qualities that all young people in the Yan Kingdom yearned for.

Young, noble, wise, tenacious, knowledgeable, ambitious and unparalleled in loyalty.

The one who has been dead for many years in the eyes of the Rat King... Wei Yanwu.

He once looked like the most positive character in all Yanguo stories and novels.

The Rat King's originally shrewd eyes were covered with a layer of turbidity and mist that only an old man can have when telling this story. His voice was low and slow, with a kind of longness unique to an old man, which seemed to confirm the traces of time flowing on his body.

Facing the indifferent eyes of Chen Mo who was sitting in front of him and the silent eyes of dozens of Sakaz people who surrounded the house, he chuckled softly.

"At that time, we worked together to defeat Cosiche and drove him completely out of the dragon gate. The dragon gate stopped dozens of miles away. The city full of hope was lit up at night. I seemed to see the future waiting for them. , waiting for our group."

"They sat on the wasteland outside Longmen, regardless of their injuries, drinking, having fun, talking, and laughing. I was with them, and I saw the beautiful enjoyment and bright light in the eyes of the two like-minded young people. , they laughed, as if our hands were clean and had never been stained with blood. They laughed as if the time of fighting in the Longmen secret war was so beautiful. They laughed... We have become nothing. Troubled young man.”

"You may not imagine, young man, that I will never forget that memory when I am old." The Rat King smiled and said in a deep voice, "I will never forget it in this life."

"It's a pity that he changed later, became a stranger, and became aloof. Master Edward's death destroyed all his yearnings. This man's heart is broken, he has lost his ambition, and he has lost his energy. Guarding this The unchanging Longmen has become inhumane, ghostly and ghostly, unable to advance even an inch."

The Rat King sighed, his smile looking helpless and melancholy.

"At that time, I still remember that when I asked him what happened, he said nothing, but Laobinghu and I both knew that he killed the second young master. Maybe it was not him who killed the second young master, but the second young master voluntarily died in His hands." The Rat King said: "He was driven from Dayan to Longmen. He voluntarily gave up the terrible battle in Dayan Imperial City and came to this city with his bodyguard and sister. Yan ordered him to take down this dragon gate when he was single and weak. They never thought he could do it, but he did it, but Dayan didn't want to let him go, especially Edward. Their identities were too complicated, no matter what It is impossible for Victoria or Yan to see the two of them closely connected."

"No one can guarantee that the two of them will not do something. Even if they are willing to commit to a corner, this kind of commitment is often of the least value to young people."

The Mouse King's eyes looked at Chen Mo, who was sitting quietly in front of him. Those eyes were too calm, as if there were no waves or emotions after hearing this story.

The old man lowered his gaze slightly.

"He was caught between the pressure of Yan and Victoria. Longmen was too small and too fragile. At that time, he could not even completely control the city. The forces left by Cosiche were still looking for opportunities to counterattack. Once he was allowed to If he succeeds, this city, including me sitting in front of you, Old Sick Tiger, and those of us who follow him, will all fall into a state of eternal disaster."

"He had no choice. The life and death of all of us were in his hands." The Rat King sighed: "Yan and Victoria would not give him any choice, so the second young master died in his hands. .”

"I know what he was thinking at that time... I'm afraid he was thinking that Longmen was still too fragile, the power in his hands was still too weak, he was powerless, but couldn't struggle, he could only watch it all happen. "The Mouse King said: "Edward died because of him, but Edward's death also took away all his ambitions. He began to become realistic, unsympathetic and unjust. He had to take everything into his own hands and be arbitrary. ,imperious."

"He forgot what was the difference between him now and Cosiche back then. He built himself into a majestic ruler. No one could see clearly what he was thinking. I'm afraid even he himself didn't know. He did so much for this city, and in the end, he trapped himself in it.”

The Rat King said, sighing softly: "He never asked us if we were willing to fight Yan and Victoria with them. But I know clearly that even if we are willing, many people will shrink back, like the old and sick tigers , like those who were following him at that time, there was no difference whether he asked or not."

The story told by the Rat King is not too long.

Just from his perspective, he told Chen Mo the past of how an upright and arrogant young man turned into a willful, ruthless and unjust ruler of Longmen.

Including his dilemma, his powerlessness, his struggle, and in the eyes of the Rat King, how he died.

That was more than 20 years ago. The pressure from two countries made the young royal unable to resist. It was the gaze and revenge from Cosiche, who vowed to take back the city that they had taken away.

In the eyes of Yan and Victoria, a dragon gate is not as good as these two young people who are linked together, so one of them must die there.

Wei Yanwu cannot die. His death will bring nothing in return. His death has no meaning. Only when Edward dies will Victoria give up. And even if he dies, the Dragon Gate they have tried their best to capture will return to the science and technology industry. Xi Che's hands.

Wei Yanwu understands this truth, and Edward also understands this truth. Wei Yanwu has to live to defend their dragon gate, and Edward has to die to defend the city.

Edward used his death to save Longmen and Wei Yanwu.

His brother died in front of him, and he had nothing to bury, so he buried Wei Yanwu, who had ideals and ambitions more than 20 years ago, in the cemetery.

Longmen was really too weak at that time. Even now, it cannot block the scrutiny of the two countries. Longmen is just a mobile city, and it is also a mobile city with an unstable foundation.

Chen Mo did not comment on this.

He had never seen the Wei Yanwu who had been there for more than 20 years, nor had he seen how the two young men who hit it off worked in Longmen, which was ruled by others at the time, how they planned step by step, and finally took the city into their hands bit by bit. , and finally turn this city they have high expectations into what they want.

"Edward...is Tallulah's father?"

Chen Mo just suddenly thought of the man standing at the door of the orphanage but never dared to take a step forward, of Tallulah's deep hatred for the family, and of Chen Mo's expectations and timidity when he was a child.

"After Edward died, he betrothed his sister to the nobles of the Yan Kingdom. In order to protect Edward's descendants and his sister, he also wanted to conceal the news." The Mouse King gently rubbed his cane with his fingers: "He knows, What will be the consequences of his decision? His sister will hate him until she dies, hating him for killing her husband, hating him for marrying herself to someone she doesn't love at all, and that's how she got Hui Jie."

"Huijie's birth gave Xiaota a perfect excuse to appear." Shu** said quietly: "But she is a poor child. Her mother does not love her, and her father also fell into disgrace because of this manipulated marriage. Not happy with her."

This story was too ridiculous for Chen Mo.

He never thought that Wei Yanwu, who he had been afraid of for more than ten years, turned out to be nothing more than that. He turned out to be just a poor man who was manipulated in his life at will, unwilling but helpless.

It turns out that the high-ranking Chief Wei was once so weak and miserable.

Chen Mo wanted to laugh, laugh at poor Wei Yanwu, laugh at the chief executive of Longmen who had brought all the blame on himself, but when he raised the corners of his mouth, he found that his smile was so forced and twisted.

For more than ten years, the heavy stone that was weighing on my heart was suddenly lifted. There was no relief, no joy, only emptiness. I don’t know what it feels like to feel empty in my heart.

What Chen Mo must admit is that the story of the Rat King touched him, and the source of the touch was not the helpless Wei Yanwu in his story, but the ridiculous young man who became unrecognizable under oppression.

He was as pathetic as a dog being led around, but he thought he had control over his future.

It was just a period of life before the age of ten that Chen Mo had almost forgotten, but now that he thought about it, he suddenly realized it.

Chen Huijie was unable to get what she asked for, Tallulah was discouraged, and she was helpless.

"Then why did you tell me this story? Old man."

"I just want to tell you that Longmen is not your enemy. Young man, I know there are some secrets hidden in you. Maybe you can easily destroy this city in the future, but Longmen is not your enemy. I have not learned from you. I see hysterical hatred in your eyes. You don't hate this city. If not, I shouldn't be the only one standing in front of you." There was a hint of vigilance in the words of the Rat King: "I know, you and those two The child is a very good friend. He may have done something wrong, so I am standing in front of you today. And you also know that your people cannot take over this city. If you really want to, you can I won’t do it now.”

"I can see that you are not a person who is just angry and regardless of the consequences."

The Rat King whispered, he stood up slowly, looked at Chen Mo's face, and then looked at the Sakaz standing outside: "I don't know what deal you made with him to make him let you come. to this city, but maybe this is also an opportunity, for us old friends who have something to say but can’t say it, we can’t do it, but you can.”

"When he handed Chi Xiao into your hands, you should be able to guess that I will tell you this, and he is also telling us old guys not to meddle in other people's business."

The Rat King raised his feet and slowly walked out of the room. Chen Mo turned around and watched the old man's rickety figure slowly walking through the Sakaz people.

His words reached my ears.

"Do us a favor, young man."

Chapter 39 Tonight, no one sleeps ([-]) Monster

Will Wei Yanwu regret it?

Chen Mo didn't know.

But if it were him, he might regret it, and it would be impossible not to regret it. If he thought about it, he would have to regret these irreversible past events, but he would also be unable to look back.

What has happened long ago is like falling rain and cannot be turned back.

Chen Mo remembered the words of the Rat King. Wei Yanwu killed Edward with his own hands more than 20 years ago. Edward's death changed his temperament drastically and made him realize his weakness and powerlessness. So he became a ruler who looked forward and backward, weighing the pros and cons. Like most politicians, they use interests and numbers to consider gains and losses.

He no longer holds illusory and unrealistic ideals. His ideals have been trampled hard, and his body has been trampled to pieces. The dragon gate full of hope that he longed for has also disappeared into a distant dream. .

What is left is a majestic, indifferent, mean and ungrateful, aloof Longmen chief, who is like a clay sculpture, sitting in the clouds, overlooking Longmen.

This inevitably reminds Chen Mo of the past in the black wall.

He also killed his brother with his own hands, watched him die in his arms, watched the blood flowing out of his wounds, and watched his eyes become a little gray and blurred, with no breathing, no pulse, no Heartbeat.

But I still think of it often.

Thinking of the time when he was still alive, he never had such a person by his side from now on.

Chen Mo thought that maybe he and Wei Yanwu were the same.

At the beginning, he had so many ridiculous and childish fantasies in his heart, those beautiful dreams about Longmen, the innocence that was not destroyed and obliterated, so after entering the black wall, and after 052 died, part of him was buried in the black wall. Under the icy snow.

He used to be so good at telling stories to others, he used to like to quarrel and make noise with people, and he also used to make so many ridiculous and childish remarks when he was young countless times.

But why?

Why did he become taciturn and cold and harsh after coming out of the black wall? When looking at a stranger, he usually only focuses on the most vulnerable points of the person's body. Why did he become so strange and jerky when talking to others?

I don't know what to say, I can't completely trust anyone, and I can't show my emotions on my face. It turns into the stuffy gourd and killing embryo in Sfeldt's mouth.

He has become a person who cares about gains and losses, looks forward and backward in doing things, weighs the pros and cons, and lacks the courage and courage to move forward that a young man should have.

No more unrealistic fantasies, no more innocent and ridiculous dreams.

Will the surviving Chen Mo, the Chen Mo who walked out of the black wall, become like Wei Yanwu later? Will he consider the consequences of doing this to himself, and be able to watch the person who asked for help die in front of him? Turning a blind eye to the suffering and struggles of others, being unsympathetic, cold and indifferent.

But why?

Why did he become such a person?

Obviously I had hope, I had so many beautiful yearnings, and I wanted to be an upright and kind person, but why did I become selfish later on?

Even towards the fox cub, towards this friend whom he had not seen for many years but who still cared about and valued him so much, and who was even willing to give up his future, he became suspicious and indifferent.

Maybe, I have also changed.

Chen Mo thought that he had also changed. From the day he killed 052, from the day he walked out of the black wall and the sun fell on his body but he could not feel the slightest warmth, he had changed subtly.

I no longer believe in the beauty of this land. I long for and fear beautiful things. I become a cold person because I care about gains and losses. I become more selfish because I weigh the pros and cons.

In order to survive, he began to resort to any means.

In the end, he still failed to grow up smoothly, and finally turned into a despicable, selfish, cold-hearted, cold-blooded snake. No matter how kind he acted and how real he pretended to be, he would still inevitably become like this.

When he was in Kazdaele, he deliberately showed off the ridiculous memories in his mind to Thearesia in order to survive. And because he saw Theresia's predicament and his own abilities at that time, he took the opportunity to Connecting himself with Sakaz, using Theresia's relationship with him and the cheap feelings of a friend, he can borrow the power of the Sakaz people to gain benefits for himself.

That's why Kelsey looked at herself with such vigilant eyes, but His Highness, no matter how straightforward he said, His Highness still had that gentle smile, as if he didn't care.

What did you think when you first met Theresia?

Oh, that's it. I feel like she is deliberately pretending to be friendly and gentle, and deliberately pretending to be considerate and kind, so that the group of Sakaz people who follow her are willing to charge into traps for her, using kindness and cheap kindness. The gentleness makes the Sakaz people grateful, and they may think that he is an extremely hypocritical conspirator.

This was the first impression of Theresa, and it was inevitable that he would not have to think about such an incompatible monarch with such dark thoughts in front of him.

But later on, Theresia's kindness and gentleness were indeed her nature. She was indeed a weak guy and a ridiculous idealist who had no monarchy talents and was incompatible with any monarch on this earth.

How do you view Kelsey?

Because he learned about Kelsey's identity and what she wanted, he bluntly stated his purpose to straighten out the relationship between himself and Kelsey, and deliberately became His Highness. The guards left Kelsey unable to find a way to attack him. Later, after realizing Kelsey's fear and suspicion of the Doctor, he took the opportunity to join the Doctor's battle line in an attempt to get the Doctor's help.

It turns out that when I joined the Tower of Babel, I was not attracted by their ideals and wanted to do something for these Sakaz people. It turned out that I spent the time in the Tower of Babel in fear and deliberate. It turned out that everything I did later, those righteous Rhetoric, high-sounding theories and the vision of saving Sakaz are nothing but means and rhetoric to gain profits.

It turns out that I have been living between weighing pros and cons and plotting for more than 20 years, and I have become beyond recognition and selfish.

Chen Mo thought about it and suddenly laughed silently.

In the night, he led the group of Sakaz people, and his smile looked so ferocious, as ferocious as a twisted evil ghost.

But he was so happy in his heart.

Because he is denying his original life of more than ten years. No, maybe from the moment he opened his eyes and came into this world, he has never settled down.

He has been living in fear and fear, being incompatible with this land. He tried to blend in...but he always regarded himself as an outsider, an intruder in this land. Everything here was so strange to him, everything here How not to make him uneasy.

The hand holding the handle of the knife became tighter and tighter.

The dark scales spread over the light armor and gauntlets and covered the entire arm. His eyes gradually lit up with golden light, and the dark golden light swayed violently like a flame.

Chen Mo thought of Longmen back then.

He thought of the strange father, the mother who died because of him, the leafy magnolia outside the apartment, the lead-gray sky of Longmen after the fire that night, and the dust and ashes floating in the air. .

He heard footsteps.

Police officers from the Guards Bureau came out of the white fog and picked him up as he stood in the middle of the street. He held the scarred police badge tightly in his hands. In the warm embrace of the police officers, he looked at the past. My home is going away a little bit.

He thought of the noise he heard in the gym on the first night, of his thin and thin figure among the crowd while queuing up to receive food, of the police officer's fatigue and the doctor's blanket draped over him. I remember their gentle smiles.

He thought of following the migration of the city, following the homeless people wandering around Longmen for several days and nights when no one cared about him, of the darkness and fighting in the resettlement camp, and of the selfishness of people. With indifference, I also thought of the fox cub hiding behind the tent and wiping away his tears alone.

He remembered the boring time in the resettlement camp, the little Wolper who was always following him, and how he shamelessly pretended to be well-behaved by holding a police badge and cheating female police officers of candy and taking advantage of the king. The cigarettes and daily necessities that I dropped in from my uncle’s place.

At that time, he was obviously so cunning, innocent, smart, and happy.