Longmen Memoirs

Those seemingly good memories from the past are fine if you don’t think about them, but the more you think about them, the more sad they become and the more you can’t get rid of them.

But Chen forgot how she should ask these questions.

She couldn't think about it. She only knew that she was holding back a lot of resentment and anger, and maybe worry and longing. She couldn't explain clearly.

Feelings have always been difficult to explain.

Chen Mo saw this thought from her clenched fist hanging down by her side. Her body was trembling slightly, and in her red eyes, besides surprise, there was anger.

Maybe there should be a hint of surprise.

She had reason to be angry. She was a selfish person like Chen Mo who broke his promise and abandoned them without a word before running away and hiding in a safe place to live a happy life.

In her eyes, Chen Mo became such a person, abandoning Tallulah and failing to protect her.

Chen Mo promised Chen that time, but he failed to do so. Later, Chen couldn't help but think about whether Xiaota would not have left if he had been there at that time.

Maybe Chen's anger was only temporary, because she finally grew up and was no longer the child she was before. Just like Chen Mo and Tallulah, the three of them had already left the orphanage.

Their childhood has come to an end and they have embarked on their own lives. They are also qualified to choose their own lives instead of being restrained by others. She will see all this clearly and be completely disappointed with Chen Mo.

Chen would be such a decisive person, and Chen Mo had understood this since he was very young.

The person next to Chen stopped and walked to her and asked what she was talking about. She turned around, said a few words, and threw down her umbrella. Chen Mo saw her intention clearly, but it was precisely because of this.

There was a trace of panic in his heart, unreasonable panic and panic, just like a child who had done something wrong. An apology might be useful, but apology was a way to solve small mistakes, just like when he begged for mercy when he was a child.

The trace of panic and nervousness was so absurd that Chen Mo now found it ridiculous.

Why would he feel panicked?

Just because he couldn't stay in the orphanage, just because he left without saying goodbye.

What does Chen know?

What does she have to feel aggrieved and angry about?She didn't.

Chen Mo suddenly thought of his childhood, and those blurry and broken memories were gradually awakened.

Chen hated him and he knew it.

Tallulah is not a child who needs protection, but in Chen's eyes, she will always protect her. This is not only something they agreed on from the beginning, but in her eyes, it is more like a responsibility.

No matter what mistakes you make, you will be forgiven. No matter where you go, you will be corrected. No matter when or where you are, you will never be alone.

I will accompany you and correct you, just because you are the most important person to me.

We all know mistakes, but mistakes cannot be changed by knowing them. Sometimes we will do something even if we know it is a mistake, just because there is a reason to do it. Maybe in the eyes of others, Xiaota is not an important person. .

The reason why Keren is important is because she only seems important in the eyes of specific people, and is so irreplaceable. No one can ever truly replace another person. The so-called replacement is just that the previous person is forgotten.

Chen Mo understood this truth when he was very young. When the empty wooden box was gradually covered with soil, she told Chen Mo this truth, and Chen Mo lost her.

In Chen's heart, the most important and irreplaceable person became the person she was obsessed with called Xiaota.

Most of her anger and dissatisfaction came from Tallulah.

If it had just been when we returned to Longmen, if Tallulah could still be in Longmen at that time, Chen would also be there.

Will it be like what Chen Mo thought many years ago, that they will sit down and talk about some of the things that have happened over the years, listen to each other's changes, some trivial things in life, and occasionally complain.

Chen Mo will listen patiently and express his own opinions. Although what he does later will become [sin] in Chen's eyes, so what?

He would reconcile with his childhood past and feel relieved, instead of meeting Chen Huijie who he shouldn't have met in Londinium after settling his grievances with Longmen.

They have embarked on different paths, and their lives have quietly changed. They have been on the same road since childhood, but they parted ways at a fork in the road.

Just as the melody of this music coming to an end expresses, when we part, we embark on our own lives.

'But since it fell unto my lot (But I have been through too much) '

'That I should rise and you should not (so it's me who gets up before you)'

'...and perhaps be welcome back again (and maybe we can meet happily)

But since it has so ordered been by a time to rise (but life is destined to be like this)

And a time to fall'

'...'

Chen Mo's life is different from his. Chen Mo's life has long been irreversible, but Chen's life has just begun.

Chen seemed to see what he was thinking and suddenly quickened her pace. She pushed the door open and went in, but could not find the figure there.

The heavy rain wet Chen's clothes, and raindrops fell on her blue hair. She stood in the warm and bright light, looking at her companion outside the window. The other party pointed at her with a rare eager and anxious look. behind.

Chen Mo ran away.

He underestimated his position in Chen's heart.

The sadness, loss, and regret in this world all prove the value of someone's past existence. We don't need so much beauty in life, and there really isn't that much beauty.

The rain did not come suddenly, but the people who appeared in the rain caught Chen Mo by surprise.

Chen Mo still remembered their last meeting ten years ago. In the small room of the orphanage, Chen Mo held Tallulah's hand. The warm sunshine fell on them, but tears could not stop falling from the corners of his eyes. slide.

No one could make a sound, only guilt, self-blame and confusion. At that time, Chen Mo made a promise that he could not fulfill.

In the middle of the narrow corridor, with the gray sky overhead, heavy rain was pouring down, and the cold raindrops hit the skin, cold and penetrating.

"stop!"

Chen's voice was still so sharp and decisive, covering up the sound of rain all over the sky. Standing behind Chen Mo, the heavy rain soaked her whole body in an instant, and the cold rain slid down her face. She clenched her fists tightly, and the rain followed her. Arms dripping.

Ten years have passed, and there is no Longmen anymore, but in a foreign country, in a narrow corridor, in the heavy rain.

Chen Huhe's tone sounded like he was arresting a prisoner.

Chen Mo suddenly stopped, but could not turn around or take another step. If Chen Mo had not been able to shout this, maybe he could really treat all of this as never before, as he thought. occur.

But that is just self-deception after all.

He and Chen were only ten meters apart, but no one had the courage to cross it. The distance of ten meters seemed to confirm the distance between them in the past ten years.

Maybe Chen Mo should turn around, just like what he thought before returning to Longmen, and say "Long time no see" to Chen, a light word like "Long time no see", maybe the alienation and isolation caused by these ten years can be turned into clouds.

But Chen Mo couldn't convince himself no matter what, how could everything he had experienced in the past ten years be told in just one sentence after not seeing each other for a long time.

He shouldn't blame anyone, but he still couldn't help but feel hatred in his heart, unreasonable hatred and resentment, hatred for the person behind Chen, and resentment for Chen.

But what right does Chen Mo have to blame Chen? After all, Chen Mo was a child back then. Rather, even now, facing all that, what choice can she make? The best and worst choice is to turn a blind eye. However, this is of no use.

He has nothing to do with Longmen anymore, and there is nothing left between him and Chen.

The three people who were in that orphanage have now embarked on different paths.

But Chen Mo forgot that since she was a child, Chen had been a neat and straightforward person. Everything she had experienced in the past ten years could not be brushed aside by him saying "Long time no see".

Chen watched him and Tallulah leave one after another. Chen Mo's departure felt like betrayal to Chen, while Tallulah's departure felt like a feeling of loss and powerlessness to Chen.

Chen watched them walk away from her, leaving her alone in the huge dragon gate. The city, no longer full of laughter and laughter, became lonely and empty.

In the eyes of others, she is a young lady from a wealthy family, but only Chen himself understands how she grew up.

There is little happiness in her life.

Chen, this name is like the three words Tallulah. It has been engraved in Chen Mo's heart many years ago. He can't forget it no matter what. He has tried to forget it all, forget what happened back then, and forget it. Think of it as a childhood play, and when you grow up and become strangers to each other, you will never remember it again.

But in this world, in the beginning, there were only three of them. In that small orphanage, in their childhood, in those ten years, only these three people appeared.

The world of children is the clearest and cleanest, because there is no deception or cunning. After one day, all the unpleasantness will disappear.

And Chen Mo was an uninvited guest who broke into their lives uninvited and messed up what had happened. At the beginning, there was only Tallulah in Chen's world, and they only had each other. But then Chen Mo Met Tallulah.

So Chen Mo became another person in Tallulah's world, and therefore, became another person in Chen's world.

To Chen, Chen Mo is not that important, but to Tallulah, he is very important, so he has become an important person to Chen. Chen Mo knows this, even though Chen would never say such things.

Just like when Tallulah tricked Chen into teasing Ms. Lan Min when she was a child, perhaps it was because of her own life that she was used to hiding her thoughts in her heart. She was unwilling to tell others and never shared them. As long as she knew and understood, she would Okay, but in life, she will always show such intentions or actions.

That was the first time that Chen Mo understood Chen's thoughts and suddenly realized that Chen Huijie was such a person, a person who was good at hiding his heart and a sensitive person.

But the difference is that she has never built a high wall, so Chen Mo can see clearly. But it is precisely because of this that Chen Mo feels panic and overwhelmed.

Chen Mo couldn't turn around to face Chen, so naturally he couldn't see the flickering emotion and hatred in the red eyes staring at his back.

Chen gritted his teeth and looked at his back. Only the cold raindrops hit him, but they could not cool down the heart that was burned by anger. The beating heart could feel its trembling more than ever.

Chen had a lot of things to say to the person in front of him, but when the day came to see him again, he found that he could no longer think of what he wanted to say, only his eyes, and only his eyes.

She had thought that she might see this guy one day, but she never thought that she would be so close to him in Victoria. Chen, who was so close, was not prepared at all, and chased after him the moment he noticed what he was thinking.

But looking at Chen Mo's back, Chen suddenly realized that time had gone so far and that back looked so unfamiliar. In his memory, he was once as tall as himself, but now he could only look up at his back.

Chen suddenly remembered that when they looked at each other through the glass of the showcase, that face was obviously unfamiliar, but Chen could recognize him at a glance, and in his eyes, Chen also saw the same idea. Because of this, she had the courage to walk in.

But after walking in, after seeing him again, what should I say.

Chen is no longer the little girl you were. She has learned a lot in the past ten years and understands what it is to be a human being. Those are just nonsense from childhood. How can they be taken seriously? In the adult world, even promises will be false. Only you are right Only when others are useful will they keep their promises, and people will live wearing different masks.

What's more, in ten years, what kind of person has Chen Mo become?

If it was just because of impulse, of course she could go up and question loudly, but she has learned to calm down, because she knows that even if she goes up to question him, she will probably get only lies and sneers.

The naked lies and sneers seemed to tell her that she was still the little girl before.

Chen Mo did not turn around, but Chen felt a sense of relief. If he really turned around after his words fell, Chen should understand that he no longer cares about everything that happened before, and that is when he should be truly disappointed. .

But Chen forgot that there is such a thing as disappointment. How can there be disappointment if there are no expectations at the beginning.

Most encounters are so ordinary and unprepared, lacking joy and surprise. There is so much romance in the world that people can share, and most of it is just man-made.

The rain fell on the ground and splashed on Chen Mo. At the end of the alley, you could occasionally see pedestrians and vehicles passing by, holding umbrellas. Cars passed by and splashed high with water. The sound of the cars was drowned in the heavy rain, and the lights of the cars were drowned. It was hazy in the thin rain and fog.

In the far corner of the city, the tops of tall buildings are looming.

The sound of footsteps was very light in the heavy rain, so light that it was difficult to detect, but in Chen Mo's ears, it was so clear.

ps: I'm going to start cutting, you guys need to be prepared

Chapter 39 It’s only lies that hurt people

No one has ever known how Chen Huijie spent the past 20 years of her life.

In people's eyes, she is one of the most popular young ladies in the world. She can get whatever she wants. Her temperament is countless times higher than that of ordinary people. Of course, her life should be beautiful and carefree.

But only Chen himself knows.

She would rather not have the identity of the so-called Miss Chen family, she would rather be a child of an ordinary family.

Her life is as wonderful as no one thinks.

She has never experienced the care and love she deserves since she was a child. She has no family affection, no expectations, and no ordinary people's warmth and life.

Her mother didn't have much affection for her, and her father didn't love her either. Reprimands, scoldings, strict rules and punishments were the only impression the Chen family gave her.

She is an unloved child and has become the broom star in the eyes of many people.

Yes, she is a broom star. Because of her, her mother left, and the young master of the Chen family became depressed and crazy all his life. Because of her, Xiaota left, and she was not welcomed in the Chen family.

She shouldn't have been born into this world.

Her birth was unpleasant for everyone.

Wei Yanwu looked down on her father and the Chen family. Her mother looked at her with more self-blame and hatred. When Chen was a child, she didn't understand why her mother hated her. She hated that she shouldn't have been born. Her birth felt like a betrayal.

Later she understood.

As she grew up, she understood why Tallulah's surname was not Chen, why her mother loved Xiaota more than herself, and why her father and the Chen family hated her.

Because she is a child who was forced to give birth to two people who did not love each other at all. She is the mother's betrayal of love. She is also the shackles Wei Yanwu placed on the Chen family and his father that they cannot break away from throughout their lives.

They were all forced, so no one really wanted her to appear in this world. She was a superfluous person.

It would have been better without her.

Chen Huijie, Huijie, what a nice name, but her life is exactly the opposite of these two words.

After finally breaking up with the Chen family and losing everything, Chen didn't have much pity or regret in his heart. He just felt relieved. He was finally free from the dark and numb mansion compound.

She never liked it there, but when she was a child, she didn't have the courage to take that step. It wasn't until Xiaota left that Wei Yanwu began to teach her swordsmanship and principles.