Longmen Memoirs

Young Chen.

She hasn't graduated from the Guards Academy and returned to Longmen. She hasn't experienced so many ups and downs. Rather, even if she has experienced it, her character will not change her choice. It will only make it worse and make it more difficult. People find it difficult to cope.

Wasn't everything she did so that one day she would be able to change instead of being powerless? In that case, how could she be willing to watch her own actions happen in front of her again?

……

[Tallulah made a mistake, she was destined to make this mistake, and it was her fault, not yours. 】

[In many cases, mistakes should not be punished. Not only do we make mistakes, but we also make many mistakes. We will definitely make some mistakes, and we cannot avoid them. 】

[Harsh rule, harsh people, harsh land, they don’t care about anything, as if right and wrong are their lives, not breathing and swallowing...]

[Hui Jie, listen, doing the right thing is worth a lifetime of hard work, but correcting a mistake is worth risking one's life. Tallulah's departure was a mistake, and I will bear the consequences of this mistake. 】

[Hui Jie, grow up quickly. When you grow up... you will be able to change everything.Maybe, or you believe it, it is true. 】

"No, I won't let you leave so easily." Chen suddenly grabbed his arm. "What you said is wrong!"

Chen Mo turned around.

"You said you made a mistake, you said you killed many people, your hands were stained with blood, and you were carrying a debt. You are not worthy of making up for it. Only your death can repay it." Chen shook her head, her The voice was decisive: "But it's not right, it shouldn't be like this. How can people not make mistakes? How can people do everything correctly? If you make a mistake, you need to pay for it with your own life. If it's your fault, let you It’s hard to escape for a lifetime, so many people deserve to die, Wei Yanwu deserves to die, those rulers, slave owners, oppressors, those kings, powerful ministers, and nobles of the past dynasties, they all deserve to die!”

"But they are all still alive, living better, dying in good health, and even being praised for their virtues, but this cannot be denied or concealed that they have also committed these mistakes, those ugly murders, those vicious enslavements, and those corrupt nobles. .”

She looked directly into Chen Mo's eyes.

"You know better than me what that feels like, and you know better than me how worthy those people are! But you are not the only one who made mistakes on this land. Maybe I will make the same mistakes in the future, and I will too. How can a person be sure that he is doing the right thing in his life when he meets people like you, and how can he be sure that everything he does will not be considered wrong by others."

Chen said and she gasped slightly.

"You are escaping from everything you have done!"

"It is indeed not as simple as falling and getting up again. It is certainly not that simple. It is certainly difficult to correct one's mistakes and make up for one's mistakes. It is so difficult that it requires a person to spend his whole life or even risk his own life."

She pulled Chen Mo's hand harder and harder.

"Yes, maybe we became unfamiliar with each other when we grew up. Maybe the past days will never come back again. Maybe one day, we will be separated again."

"But you never thought about changing anything. You kept saying that you were wrong. You never thought about correcting or making up for it. You just wanted to die. You were just escaping."

She scolded: "You just don't dare to think about your future and face your own mistakes!"

Chen paused.

"You should know better than me. As long as you think about it, as long as you are willing, you can't correct the mistakes of the past, but your road can still be long."

[This is really... wonderful. ] Goudan's words rang in Chen Mo's mind: [Actually, I think what she said is very reasonable. Although she just can't let you go, but she can think of this in a short period of time, I underestimated her. 】

Chen Mo didn't seem to hear Goudan's noise.

If words could change people's minds, there wouldn't be so many people in the world making mistakes.

He just looked at Chen who said these words. The series of words made her breathe quickly. Chen Mo did not deny that he and Goudan were equally surprised. They both underestimated Chen.

"Do you think I will change because of your words? And then tell you that I was wrong. I should have the courage to face what you said, my... future?"

"I'm not that stupid!"

"then you……"

"I just want to tell you the same thing, tell you what I think in my heart, and then find a suitable excuse for myself." Chen breathed lightly: "Maybe I just want to convince myself, otherwise I wouldn't You can't take that step."

"I can't and won't allow you to leave so easily again. I can't just watch the same thing happen in front of me and do nothing."

She looked up at Chen Mo's face: "Even if it's wrong, let him continue to be wrong. I don't want to think about it so much anymore."

Chapter 85 Keep Chen Gui silently ([-]): Bonfire

[Hui Jie, grow up quickly. 】

[What will it be like when you grow up? 】

[When you grow up, you can change everything. 】

[…Growing up is so hard. 】

----

Bagpipes blocked Chen's path.

The purpose of this girl's visit was so obvious. She stood on the deserted road outside Londinium, with her hands spread out far away. Her long burgundy hair was fluttering in the early morning light and wind. Chen, who was carrying Chi Xiao on his back, had to stop. get off.

"How could you..."

Chen asked unexpectedly, her confusion interrupted by bagpipes.

"I followed you here, and I saw the conversation between you and that person."

Chen didn't speak, just looked at her, as if the indifferent attitude she had always given people in the academy was something people were accustomed to, but she was much more determined than then.

Bagpipe looked at Chen sitting on the motorcycle, and she put away her hands. She wanted to pretend to be relaxed, but found that she couldn't show that expression.

"Do you have to go?" Bagpipe asked.

Chen nodded hesitantly.

"Yes."

"Then you, Chen Chen, will you come back?"

"……I have no idea."

"As expected." Bagpipe was not too surprised by Chen's answer. She just took a breath and said, "Although I knew you would answer like this, Chen Chen, I still felt a little disappointed after hearing what you said."

"Sorry, but I have to go."

"I'm not blaming you." Bagpipe shook his head: "I'm just sorry that I can't go with you. I'm the one who should say sorry."

She suddenly raised her hand and rubbed the corners of her eyes.

"Ah, I originally wanted to say something less sad, but somehow it ended up like this. Chen Chen, please don't laugh at me. Just give me a few seconds. Just a few seconds."

"..."

Chen opened her mouth, but no words came out. She didn't know how to answer. In fact, even she herself didn't know what was waiting for her after making this decision.

She just didn't want to regret it, she just felt that she would never be at peace if she didn't.

Chen had no choice but to look away. She looked at this desolate lower town, the collapsed ruins, dilapidated streets, the prosperous city in the distance, its high-rise buildings, and the prosperous and ancient buildings of Victoria, which were gradually revealed after the clouds dispersed. of prosperity.

She had lived in a city like this all her life.

Chen sighed softly.

Bagpipe suddenly hugged her, hugging Chen who was sitting on the motorcycle. The girl's embrace came so suddenly, which caught Chen off guard. She felt some warm liquid wet her collar with the embrace. .

Bagpipe's shoulders were shaking slightly. Chen hesitated for a moment. She raised her hand, hugged the girl in front of her, and patted her shoulder gently.

There are no words of comfort that can be said, but the depth of emotion is more real than any words.

Chen suddenly felt some regret in his heart.

"Okay, stop crying. What does it look like? Don't forget that you are an elite of the Guards Academy who has surpassed 90.00% of Victoria. Didn't you say that you still want to change Victoria?"

"I just didn't expect it to happen so fast. It's as fast as yesterday. I thought that even if Chen Chen you wanted to leave, you would have to wait until after graduation. Who knew you would leave suddenly." Bagpipe's hand tightened: "I know I can't keep you. If I do, it will make you sad, but..."

"I am sorry."

Chen said softly, she lowered her eyelids, and Bagpipe slowly released the hand holding her.

"You must take good care of yourself, Chen Chen, otherwise I will definitely worry about you. You can't cook, and you never pay attention to your injuries. If you are in the wilderness, it will be difficult to survive if you get sick. What should I do? There are no hospitals or medicines."

"I also took survival classes, okay? If I remember correctly, it seems like I was the one helping you every time."

Chen weakly retorted, although she knew that Bagpipe was worried about herself, but she didn't want people to worry so much.

"So, in short, although Chen Chen you are excellent, I still..."

"I will take care of myself, don't worry about me." Chen said, "It's you. After I left, no one helped you make up classes. I lent you lecture notes to copy. Don't let the professors doze off in class and doze off every time you take an exam. I passed the passing mark."

"That's every time..." Bagpipe retorted softly.

"Okay." Chen said, looking at the bagpipe: "It's not like we will never see each other again. As long as we are still alive, there will always be a day when we can meet again."

one【}

------

The bonfire burned in the night, dispelling the chill in the air, but the warmth it could provide was limited, not to mention the fact that the cold had alternated between intense running.

The damp branches crackled in the flames, and the swaying firelight in the leeward illuminated the two thin figures. There was no sound of conversation between them one meter apart in the night.

There was a portable kettle on the campfire, and the water in the kettle had not yet boiled.

They all seemed to be waiting, but no one spoke first to break the silence.

Chen was covered with a cold-proof blanket. She was sitting on a fallen dead tree. Chen Mo was sitting opposite her. He had only prepared field supplies for one person. Chen's arrival seemed like an accident.

An accident that couldn't be prevented and was caught off guard.

Chen watched him find the prepared supplies at the storage point. His blood-stained hands dipped into the stream, and the coagulated blood turned into bloodshot threads and swayed in the clear and cold water.

Victoria, which is located at the bottom of the central valley of the continent, is not considered cold in winter, but it is compared to a warm city, and the lives of people in the wilderness are much more difficult than in the city.

Every winter is like a nightmare, a nightmare in which many people fall and are never able to get up or wake up. Maybe death is not sad, maybe for those who have difficulty even living, it becomes a sad thing on the contrary. A kind of relief.

Chen Scarlet's eyes looked at him who was silent, and at the long knife at his side that was retracted into the scabbard. His eyes stared at the swaying flames, and the flames seemed to be imprinted in his eyes.

Chen suddenly felt as if he was accustomed to this kind of life, as if this situation had become a part of his life.

She never understood this liar. She had been like this when she was a child. She didn't understand what the liar who always had a smile on his face was thinking. When she grew up, she also didn't understand the silent liar in front of her. What was hidden in his heart? What are you wearing?

It was nothing more than another lie, and Chen was already used to it.

She had never thought about this problem when she was a child, but now, when she came back to her senses and started to think about it, she suddenly realized that he sitting opposite her had already become a blank to her.

There was a void that Chen found difficult to access.

His subsequent life, what happened to him, what he saw, how he survived.

Chen didn't know that even though he kept him in this completely unreasonable way, the distance between them was getting wider and wider. Even when he was in Londinium, Chen never had such an idea. .

These were all self-inflicted. It was obviously a peaceful separation, but Chen didn't want to, so he had to ask for trouble, so that he became the current situation where he was taciturn and could no longer find topics to talk about.

It seemed that there was no room for quarreling anymore, and it seemed that even the little thing left between them had been torn to pieces by Chen cruelly.

[…I beg you, before you return to Longmen, don’t let me end up becoming a criminal in your eyes. 】

Chen thought of this sentence in his mind, but she was cruel and did not agree to this humble and small extravagant wish.

[Origin Stone Disease... Most people who suffer from this disease have only a few years to live. If this is the case, do you still want to catch up? 】

[Remind you, Miss Chen, if you still have things you want to do and dreams you haven’t fulfilled yet, try not to have anything to do with people like me, and try not to touch these disgusting stones.You are different from people like me, you are different from people like us. What you want to do will always be much easier if you are willing, but the premise is that you don’t make mistakes and don’t commit things that you think you can afford but don’t. A fault that I cannot bear. 】

[But many times, your capital cannot let you rely on it for a lifetime. Miss Chen, I have also met people like you. That guy used to be like you, with some unrealistic ideas, but then... he didn't do that anymore. , I can’t tell if it’s good or bad, but sometimes I miss him at that time. He and I at that time were just as naive in that city, holding some childish and ridiculous dreams. I thought this would last a lifetime. .

Later, when I grew up and became a foxhound, just like all grown-up people who look back on their childhood and feel ridiculous and stupid, I suddenly understood that this is not a lifetime. It turns out that people and people have never been able to keep the law. Stay with each other all your life, keep the sweet dreams of the past until you grow up]

[Even if you are asked to follow, you can only become a burden. This word is not nice, but it is very appropriate. This is Victoria. The dragon's hand cannot reach here. You can stay out of it. This is the best result. You don't know Whatever he is carrying, don’t give it to yourself, and don’t cause trouble to Longmen. Have you considered the serious consequences of your actions]

[He is no longer the person you knew. Think about the sword in your hand. That’s not a lifetime. 】

Chen couldn't help but think of what Foxhound said. For some reason, her words lingered in his mind.

The Wolper who was unwilling to accept his help.

What she said seemed as if she had already guessed what was going on.

Chen then replied that she knew.

In fact, she didn't know anything, otherwise she wouldn't have had the courage to follow, leading to the current situation where both parties are in trouble.

What you think is ultimately what you think.

days【>}

This word flashed through Chen's mind. She tightened the cold-proof blanket she was wearing and sighed softly. She watched Chen Mo tear open the compressed military rations. He poured out the boiling water. The food was boiled in the boiling water and swayed out. The rich aroma made Chen's stomach make an unsatisfactory sound.

"hungry?"

Then she finally heard her first words in a long silence.