Longmen Memoirs

She sighed and slowly pushed Chen Mo down. The condescending Chen looked down at Chen Mo lying below her and held his palm tightly.

After a long time.

Chen Huijie, who was lying on the bed and clutching the sheets, bit her lips unwillingly.

--------

"I still remember you always hated me when you were little."

Chen Mo looked down at Chen who looked up at him.

Chen held his shoulders, and her smooth arms had a warm touch. Her hair was scattered behind her, and one strand fell on Chen Mo's neck. A corner of her head was pressed against the side of Chen Mo's face.

"It's the same now."

Chen glared at Chen Mo who said this, but held his hand harder.

"Hypocritical, self-righteous and full of lies that make you want to punch you in the face."

"How could you fall in love with someone like me?"

"I don't know, love is love, liking is liking." Chen leaned on her, the softness in front of her pressed against her chest and deformed: "Then why are there so many?"

"I suddenly feel that I am very lucky." Chen Mo's hand gently stroked the girl's smooth back, and his face rubbed Chen's neck: "Although... maybe someone like me is not worthy or worthy of what you do for me. "

"It doesn't matter whether you think it's worth it or not." Chen replied: "I won't regret it, you are a soft-hearted Chen, not in this life."

“I never thought we’d get to where we are now.”

"You are thinking of her, I know." Chen said, and the atmosphere seemed to become much quieter because of these words. "If you were facing Tallulah instead of me, would it still be the same as it is now?"

Chen Mo was stunned. He seemed to be able to feel the uneasiness and hesitation in Chen's heart when he said this.

Will it be different?

"No." Chen Mo said, "Whether it's you or Xiaota, there will be no difference."

Chen lowered his eyes.

"...Liar."

"I'm here."

"Don't make me feel like I'm taking something that rightfully belongs to her," Chen said softly.

You are a bad guy and nothing good will happen to anyone who meets you.Chen suddenly remembered what the Longmen people said about her.

"We will find her, Chen. I know you have always felt guilty, but you also know in your heart that Xiaota's departure was not your fault. Neither you nor I had the ability to prevent this from happening. "

"If only it could be as easy as you said."

"I have the same responsibilities as you. You can't bear these alone. No matter it's better or worse, I will bear it with you."

"Heh..." Chen chuckled, and she rested her head on Chen Mo's shoulder: "How could I remember that you didn't say that before? Did I hear it wrong?"

"You heard right."

"You didn't ask for my opinion or if I was willing, so I said you were self-righteous." There was a warning in Chen's words.

She let go of her hand and looked at Chen Mo's face.

"I don't want to wait until later to regret that I didn't do anything in the first place. I remember when I first met you on the street, I thought I was hallucinating. You looked different from how I remembered you. In fact, Even I almost forgot what you look like, but for some reason, I still recognized you at a glance."

"I don't know what I feel, surprise and anger, but more of all, I am afraid. I am afraid that you will disappear in front of me after I blink. I am afraid that what I see is actually an illusion. I am also afraid that after entering Then I realized I just recognized the wrong person.”

Chen said softly: "But after I went in and found out that you had escaped, my first feeling was luck and panic. I was afraid that you would disappear in front of me again. Obviously I had found you, and I didn't want to wait for another one." Ten years, 20 years, when I am old, when you are old too, then I will see you."

"If that's the case then, it might really be too late."

She raised her hand and ran her fingertips across Chen Mo's young face.

Neither of them could wait for the time Chen said, and they were both lucky enough to see each other again when they were young.

Time is not cruel enough to let them pass by, leaving all those regrets and reluctances in their old age and throughout their lives.

The next life, the next life.

Who can say clearly about that kind of thing, that kind of thing is just deceiving oneself and others.

Chen Huijie cannot wait for the next life, nor does she care about the next life.

"I used to feel that I should hate you, hate you for leaving, hate you for suddenly appearing again, hate you for breaking into my life and disappearing before I could react, hate you for not keeping your promise, I have always hated you you."

Chen's fingertips landed on the side of Chen Mo's face, with a kind of tender nostalgia in his red eyes.

She withdraws her hand.

"You disappeared for almost 12 years, and you appeared in front of me just when I was about to forget you." She hugged Chen Mo tightly with her hands: "Only then did I realize that I have more yearning in my heart than hatred."

"I'm very conflicted, maybe even I don't want to admit it to myself." Chen said: "Actually, I have always liked you. I like that you appear in front of me when I want someone to accompany me the most. I like that you talk about Those absurd and interesting stories, I like your shameless retorts after pretending to be beaten by me, I also like you walking with me on the streets of Longmen Street, pushing me to do things that I have always wanted to do but didn’t know when I was hesitant. Something you dare to do.”

"You always look like you have a playful smile and don't care. You always hide your secrets in your heart and don't want to mention it to anyone. I don't like the way you always like to lie. I don't like the fact that you don't want to even if you are hurt. The way you show it, I don’t like your wishful thinking in front of me, and I don’t like you approaching Tallulah.”

Chen said softly, as if talking to himself.

"Sometimes I envy her. No matter what she does, you will always stand by her side. But the more this happens, the more guilty I feel. I have already received enough, and I don't want to take away what belongs to her. "

Chen Mo stretched out his fingers to lift the hair from Chen's forehead, and gently pressed his forehead against Chen's.

"It's because I missed you, Chen." Chen Mo said, "It's because I didn't consider your feelings or your thoughts. It was also my wishful thinking that I made the right decision for you without thinking about you. Maybe I have thought about it, but I didn’t dare to accept it.”

Because I am also afraid that I am just wishful thinking, because I am also afraid that in fact, I am really not that important in your opinion.

I think if you don't think about it, you won't be disappointed.

You may not know, but when you told me why you still don’t understand, I was happy in my heart. Of course I could understand, I just couldn’t convince myself.

Convincing myself to destroy another person who loves me.

"Tallulah never felt that you should feel guilty towards her. She never resented you for getting more than she did, nor did she feel that you took away what should be hers."

"Actually, on the day you came, she didn't want to see you. She told me that she didn't know how to face you. She felt that she had abandoned you, just like you, but I could I can see the desire and expectation in her eyes. She is looking forward to your arrival. She has been waiting for you to come to her. She knows that you will definitely come back, so she is waiting for you, but she is also afraid, afraid that you will blame her for this. "

"During the time you came here, she has been teasing you, not resenting you."

Chen Mo thought of the scene that day, those long-broken memories.

He looked at Chen in front of him.

"She's afraid that you will ignore her, but what's more afraid is that you will be upset because of it, and that you will feel that you have done something wrong." He hugged Chen tightly in his arms.

"Xiaota has never forgotten that you are always her favorite relative, no matter how long it takes or what happens."

Tenderness is more like a fatal knife than pain. At least the latter is short-lived, but the former is often... unforgettable.

"I……"

Chen wanted to say something, but she suddenly didn't know how to answer. She had believed in the guilt for more than ten years. She let go of Xiaota's hand, Xiaota's fault, Wei Yanwu's words, those things she wanted to say. The words turned pale before this unexpected answer, but soon, the paleness was replaced by something more firm.

"I'll find her!"

Her words were like a firm oath.

"Speak for yourself, Chen. We will all find her. Do you feel better now?"

Chen Mo's eyes reminded Chen Mo of the look she would show every time she was so angry that she wanted to beat him up.

"Did you tell me that on purpose?!"

"You actually know these things in your heart, you just don't want to think about it. Chen, if you knew this before, what would you do? What can you do?"

Chen said nothing.

"You will leave Longmen at all costs, but you can't leave. You can't leave that city and look for traces of a person alone in the wasteland. It's harder than finding a needle in a haystack. You may not be able to do it, and you may even die on the road. .”

"Life is very fragile, Hui Jie. Maybe because of an accident, a word, or a choice, we will lose our lives. All things, thoughts, visions, and regrets will be in vain, so life becomes precious and difficult. , I didn’t expect to meet you again in Londinium, and my first reaction was to let you go, because I knew what I was doing and I didn’t want you to be involved.” He said: “I know you Even after so many years, after seeing you rushing out the door with me, I knew that you had not changed at all and would not give up easily. The more I said, the more you wanted to get involved. You never No one likes to be kept in the dark, and no one likes to hear lies.”

Chen Complex looked at Chen Mo and gradually calmed down.

"You told me now."

"I'll always know later."

"That's true, but now I'm... very angry!"

Chen suddenly pressed Chen Mo on the bed.

Chen Huijie, who was "alone", raised her fist.

"Hmph, let's add in all the old and new grudges, let's settle the accounts!" She raised her eyebrows and warned: "I'll be gentler, you'd better know how to deal with it."

The raised fist stopped in mid-air.

Chen suddenly frowned, lowered her head to look, and clicked her tongue in displeasure. She stretched out her other hand and pressed it down with a look of disgust.

He looked at Chen Mo with a gloomy look.

"...You're dead this time!"

Chen Huijie is in her early twenties, impulsive and irritable. Her appearance is like another high wall trapping Chen Mo.

Chen Mo inside the wall couldn't get out, but Chen Huijie outside the wall wanted to walk in.

ps: In Terra's world, this kind of love always seems precious, but it can't cover up the ups and downs of the world.

Chapter 91 Cause and Effect

The time spent with Chen was so short that it made people feel nostalgic, so that Chen Mo felt a trace of regret in his heart, but this regret came and went quickly.

He never thought that his relationship with Chen would end with such an unimaginable outcome.

Maybe if he had come to this point earlier, he and Chen would be able to leave more, but Chen Mo also knew in his heart that even if he could turn back time and take him back to half a year ago, he would choose the same way to deal with himself and Chen. relationship between.

The encounters that occurred when they were young are more and more likely to be worn away as they grow up. Human feelings often have their limits and shelf life. Fortunately, the shelf life of his and Chen's relationship was longer than they expected.

Chen Mo thought that if he didn't meet Chen again in Londinium, it would probably be another ending when they met again.

"I am leaving."

Chen looked at him from behind, her neck buried in the knitted collar. She did not tie up her long hair, and her long blue hair was scattered behind her. Her red eyes were filled with warm light. Under the warm light of the entrance, her look was so beautiful. Zhang Lengbing's face had a rare gentleness.

She looked at Chen Mo without saying a word.

They all knew that this day was coming. Although Chen tried his best to delay the time, time always passed too fast.

Chen Mo had something to solve, and Chen knew in his heart that he couldn't follow him.

She was actually quite accommodating to Chen Mo. Rather, Chen Mo was sober and rational at heart. She knew what she should do when.

She knows what is right and what is wrong.

But she has a strong temper, but it is difficult for her to speak softly at this time, even though she has actually said a lot in the past two days.

"Don't you have anything to say to me?" Chen Mo seemed to see what Chen was thinking.

Chen, who crossed his arms, let go.

"What do you want to hear?"

"Such as farewells and reminders."

Chen Mo actually didn't expect Chen to say such things. She was hesitant and dissatisfied in her heart【+~

"..."

Chen pursed his lips and said nothing.

When Chen Mo turned around and reached out to hold the doorknob, Chen's voice suddenly sounded from behind.

"and many more!"

She called out Chen Mo.

Chen Mo turned around.

"I have something to tell you."

Chen Weiwei turned his head away and hesitated for a while but still couldn't speak.

Chen Mo put down the heavy knife in his hand.

In fact, she didn't need to say anything, Chen Mo suddenly reached out and hugged the girl in front of him. She was so nostalgic, and her duplicity was so hard to let go of.