Longmen Memoirs

Chen Mo could no longer remember how he went back at that time.

The black car, with its pale and dazzling lights, was getting farther and farther away in the rain. Its scarlet taillights were blurry, slowly leaving him behind, farther and farther away.

His words seemed to still echo in his ears, colder than the rain all over the sky.

Chen Mo stood there blankly. The lights in the orphanage suddenly became so distant, and the childish singing was drowned in the violent storm. He tried hard to hear it clearly, but he couldn't hear anything.

Chen Mo walked into the house. Tallulah looked at his returning figure. She walked over and took Chen Mo's hand.

A touch of warmth came from the cold hands, bringing Chen Mo back to his senses.

"I've counted to a hundred," she said softly.

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

Chen Mo tried his best to show a smile, but when the smile fell to the corner of his mouth, he found that he didn't know what kind of smile to show now, so the smile dimmed again.

"You look very lost...What happened?" Tallulah asked: "Ms. Kamia came back early."

Chen Mo was about to speak, but then he remembered what the man said to him.

他 说:

[They are different from you... You are an insignificant person, I can't let you get involved... You don't have that ability, and I will never allow them to have any interaction with you.

There is another option...listen up...

...You have no right to choose...but what I tell you are facts, and you know it in your heart. 】

What I want to say【<&

"It's nothing, I just got a lesson from Ms. Kamiya. You know I get a lesson often."

"Are you crying?"

Are you crying?

Chen Mo subconsciously raised his hand to wipe the corners of his eyes, but when his fingers touched his eyes, he realized that there were no tears about to flow out from his fingertips. He suddenly realized something.

"You're lying to me, aren't you!"

Tallulah's voice was much louder, she was almost questioning.

"No." Chen Mo opened his mouth to retort.

"You are obviously lying to me, liar, liar!!" She shouted loudly, attracting the attention of everyone in the orphanage. The singing stopped and everyone looked here.

Tallulah didn't care about anyone's eyes. She just looked at Chen Mo, her red eyes seeming to force him to tell the truth.

But what is the truth, is it really that important?

not important.

How could he say it out loud? Even if he did, it would have no effect at all.

We are all children. In the eyes of adults, our lives can be changed at will, and we have no ability to resist.

At this moment, Chen Mo never expected why he couldn't grow up.

But if I grow up, can I still come to the orphanage?How to meet Tallulah and Chen again, if we never met, why would I want to grow up.

We cannot wander around the world, join hands in rivers and lakes, or even leave this huge city.

All of this seems to have been destined for a long time, and it is destined that our lives will follow this trajectory, and the name of this trajectory is destiny.

"Tallulah..." Chen Mo pressed Tallulah's shoulders, forcing himself not to tell her the truth no matter what.

He tried his best to smile, but he couldn't see how far-fetched and funny that smile looked in Tallulah's eyes.Like a bad clown.

He seems to have liked doing this since he was a child, and later became more and more like a real clown.

"It's okay, I won't leave." Chen Mo said softly: "I promised you, didn't I?"

The rain outside the window is getting heavier and heavier, but the room is quiet. Only the flickering candles cast their swaying shadows on the wall, without any trace of overlapping.

When Chen Mo said these words, his heart hurt like a knife. He couldn't imagine what Tallulah's expression would be like when she realized her lie. He could only look forward to that day. It would never come, but he had to face reality, and in reality, time would never stand still.

Tallulah didn't answer, and Chen Mo watched her leave alone. She ran so fast that Chen Mo couldn't even keep up with her footsteps. She walked into a dark corridor, and the sound of footsteps going upstairs echoed in his ears.

He could only stand there alone, like a toy abandoned in the corner.

The nuns quickly realized something, so the singing stopped, and soon several nuns took the children back to the room.

Lady Teresa knelt in front of him.

"What happened? Did you have a fight with Tallulah?" she asked softly, always so gently.

Chen Mo could only hang his head, not daring to face her gentle face.

"No." I said, "I just can't stand her character more and more. We can't stay together at all."

Chen Mo was like a child quarreling with his friends when he gave this answer to Ms. Theresa.

"Aren't you always good friends? It's not good to quarrel. No matter whose fault it is, as a boy, you should apologize first."

"I do not want it!"

Ms. Theresa noticed Chen Mo's clenched fists. She took his hand and gently moved his fingers away.The broad palm wrapped around his hand.

"True friends are able to understand each other, right? Don't regret it until unnecessary misunderstandings occur. I believe that as long as you speak it out properly, you will definitely be able to reconcile. You and Tallulah have always been very good friends. My friend, you don’t want to have any misunderstandings between you and her."

"Ms. Theresa..."

Ms. Theresa didn't understand what happened at all. She could only give Chen Mo such persuasion, but Chen Mo couldn't tell her the truth.

"go quickly."

She patted Chen Mo's shoulder gently.

Chen Mo stood in front of Tallulah's door, but he still didn't know how to say it to her. He stood there for a long time, and finally gave up and wanted to turn around and leave.

But just as he turned around, the door suddenly opened.

What he couldn't see was that Tallulah in the room was already standing at the door when she heard his footsteps. She had been waiting for Chen Mo to knock on the door, but Chen Mo didn't after all.

She suddenly opened the door and hugged Chen Mo from behind.She hugged her so tightly that Chen Mo knew that he couldn't break free no matter what.

"I don't want you to leave!!!"

Hot tears wet Chen Mo's back. Tallulah's head pressed tightly against his shoulder. Chen Mo's body suddenly stiffened, but even so, what could he do.

I want to protect her and continue to live with her like this. What I think...but it's just what I think.

"Tallulah...listen to me."

"I don't want to listen!"

She held Chen Mo's arms harder and harder, fearing that if she let go, Chen Mo would disappear.

"Talulah!!!"

Chen Mo had to increase his voice.

Her hands suddenly stopped moving, and only the faint sound of sobbing mixed with the violent storm outside the window fell into Chen Mo's ears.

"I will return."

"Will definitely be back..."

[If you can come back alive, I will tell you what to do next... You have to live a dark and cruel life... I will not teach you right and wrong, nor will I care about whether you are good or evil... Even if you have to grit your teeth, you have to endure it. 】

"You have to wait for the day when I come back, be good, don't get sick, and don't be angry. You still have a long way to go in your life, and you will meet many people in this life. You and Chen , not just me..."

"I don't want it!!" Chen Mo was interrupted by her before he could finish his words.

"Tallulah, I'll be back, I promise!"

"I will never believe you again, you lying liar!" Her roar sounded from behind Chen Mo.

"Liar!!"

Chen Mo opened his mouth, but all that echoed in his ears was the slamming of the door closing and the warmth he wanted to keep but couldn't.

He was unable to change anything, and he did not dare to look back at Tallulah's current expression. He was afraid that he would not be able to bear it and make another promise that he could not fulfill.

His childhood was bright white, deep black, and finally gray at death.

They all cherish each other, and cherish each other more and more, but because of this, they are destined not to stay together forever.

Something wet Chen Mo's eyes. Chen Mo raised his head hard. He couldn't show weakness, at least not in front of Tallulah.

I am such a cowardly and hypocritical person, but I have been weak once. That time I lost the last light in my life. I thought that there would never be an angel in my life who would lower his head and kiss me. Forehead, I was wrong, maybe, what I met was not an angel.

She was just a hypocritical devil, quietly hiding next to me, but showing a gentler smile than an angel.

and so--

Let your smile and sadness become the most important marks in my life.

【$

【Many years ago, a person and an incident have never been forgotten...

In the past few years, some people and some things have been fragmented in memory...

Over the years, there have been many people and many things, but now I can’t remember anything, and they have all been forgotten in the blink of an eye…]

------

From that time on, Chen Mo and Tallulah never said a word again.

They seemed to have become strangers overnight, raising their heads to see each other and lowering their heads to rub shoulders.

As autumn gets further and further away, two songs from last Christmas are heard again in the orphanage.

Tallulah would no longer stand quietly behind Chen Mo and put her hands into the bags of his clothes. She would be far away from her and would not look towards him.

They sat on both sides of the long table, looking at each other from a distance, and then deliberately looking in the opposite direction, waiting for nightfall to return to each other's rooms.

It might snow tomorrow, but Chen Mo is no longer looking forward to it.

Just like this Christmas in the orphanage, he didn't receive any gifts, but the postcards he wrote were put back in the drawer.

Chen Mo couldn't open his mouth to defend himself, and he didn't have the confidence to make Tallulah listen to his defense. Maybe it was just as well.

Go back to the beginning, when Tallulah first came, pretending that she didn't sneak out of the room on that rainy night, and follow the gap to see the stranger who had just arrived.

All this is because of a small curiosity, and it is drowned in the upcoming separation. When the sea water rushes up, no one knows what happened. At least by then, no one will feel it anymore. More uncomfortable.

"Wake up..."

In the vague confusion, someone was shaking his head and sitting on him.

Chen Mo opened his eyes drowsily and saw clearly the figure sitting on him.

In the dim room, under the dim light, Chen suddenly appeared on him, sitting on his waist with his legs crossed.

She was wearing a red cotton-padded jacket, and her face was filled with excitement and blush that Chen Mo couldn't see.

Chen Mo was probably dreaming, he thought so, but just when he wanted to close his eyes again to keep himself away from this terrible nightmare.

Chen saw his movements, and she suddenly used her hands to grab Chen Mo's ears as he was about to put them back on the pillow. She often did this.

The cold touch and pain awakened Chen Mo from his dream again.

"Why are you here!"

Chen Mo no longer felt sleepy and looked at Chen sitting in front of him with wide eyes.

"...Get up quickly."

Chen Mo shouted excitedly when he heard Chen Mo's voice.

Chen Mo hurriedly reached out and covered her mouth. In her wide eyes, Chen Mo saw her intention to struggle.

"You're sick. Just wake up others."

Chen Mo hurriedly lowered his voice to stop her from struggling. He knew that these children would probably make a fuss after being woken up.

"I'll let go, don't scream, you know?"

She nodded, and Chen Mo wanted to loosen the hand covering her mouth, but Chen Mo suddenly opened his mouth and bit his palm hard.

"hiss……"