Longmen Memoirs

Chen Mo replied as he breathed out smoke.

"But what I'm trying to say is not that because he had a family and we killed him, we were wrong."

"Because they are enemies, and because I want you to survive, but in addition to being enemies, they are also human beings. We kill them because they are enemies, not just because of what they have done. What, but burying them is because we are also human beings like them. Even if they don’t see it that way, they would like to cut the infected people into pieces, but we ourselves cannot forget this.”

"That's what you told the soldiers too?"

"The soldiers had objections but did not refuse. This is the most essential difference between you and them, I hope."

Chen Mo did not refute, he said: "You haven't experienced a real war, so you may not understand that there is never right or wrong on the battlefield. On the battlefield, people will gradually forget many things, lose their comrades, and even lose their original selves." , because the positions are different, so don’t be merciful to the enemy no matter what. Be worthy of those who sacrificed for this, and be worthy of those who choose to follow you. Be worthy of their trust and expectations, and their efforts must make them survive. After death, in order not to get lost in the war and forget who you are, burying your enemies is the best way."

"you……"

What did Shuangxing want to ask? She didn't know whether she should speak. She was not Tallulah. She was not that familiar with Chen Mo. She still had doubts about Chen Mo.

“A little bit of experience.”

"You can figure this out."

Chen Mo said that he actually didn't expect Shuangxing to understand this truth right away. He didn't understand this truth in the past, but Chen Mo hoped that Shuangxing would remember these words when he faced the same problem again in the future.

"Sometimes killing is the easiest way to solve a problem, but it is not necessarily the best way. If it is inevitable, it is best not to let yourself get used to it."

"...I can figure it out." Shuangxing replied, paused, looked at Chen Mo and whispered: "Maybe you are right, Chen Mo."

This was the first time that White Rabbit called out Chen Mo's name, as if to show that at least Shuangxing now recognized him as one of them.

Chen Mo reached out and took out the amulet.

"Say yes, return it as it is."

Froststar didn't hesitate.She held the amulet in her hand and returned the photo to Chen Mo.

"This one……"

"Keep it to yourself, I think you need this more than I do."

"it is good."

Shuangxing did not refuse. She glanced at the photo in her hand. The person the person in the photo was waiting for died in their hands not long ago.

Shuangxing wouldn't think about this before. He only saw enemies and the evil deeds committed by the Ursus people against them. What she thought about was how to keep more infected people alive and how to protect the people she cared about.

She didn't think about it, and she didn't have time to think about it. Those Ursus soldiers who died under her own hands also had their own families and were people that others cared about. Even when she heard others praise her, the Winter Death God After the title, she was once proud of it.

But should we really be proud?Shouldn't we be proud of being feared by our enemies and making our enemies tremble?

But is there really anything to be proud of in killing people and taking a life?

Life should be heavy, even if it is sometimes extremely cheap and not precious.

Shuangxing suddenly thought of his father, and wondered whether he had been disappointed in his father's eyes when he and Tallulah were talking, disappointed that they showed off their power and ideals, but forgot , in one's own ideal, how much do you have to lose, whether it is your own or someone else's, your hands are full of blood.

Father, doesn’t he want me to be that kind of person?

He thought of the tall figure of the patriot. People felt reassured by his father's existence and admired his father's bravery on the battlefield. But Shuangxing suddenly remembered that she had never heard her father boast about his achievements. When she grew up, she also He was never seen smiling again.

Froststar remembered something that she had ignored before.

At this moment, she seemed to finally understand the old stubbornness in her mouth.

But why, he never taught me this or mentioned it.

Chapter 19 Nuanxue

[013, Did you know that sometimes the snow in Ursus is warm? The warm snow and the people in the snow are just as warm as the snow today.

I know you are smarter than me, 013, you have always been smarter than me, you have been helping me, without you, I would have died long ago, but, 013, I am also afraid.

I'm afraid of death, and I'm afraid that one day I won't be who I am. I'm afraid that when I leave here, there will be nothing outside, no one is waiting for me, and I don't know where to go or what to do in the future. What.

Will I still be me after I get out? I don’t know, 013, I am different from you, because I feel that I am not as brave as you, nor as smart as you.

If it's you, 013, even if you encounter these bad things, you must know where to go and what to do in the future.

It's a pity that in the end, you refused to tell me your name, but it doesn't matter, 013... you have to live well. 】

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Chen Mo had a dream that had not appeared again for a long time.

The dark building in the dream, the high black wall hidden deep in the wind and snow, the faces of the people could not be seen clearly, and the snow was stained red with blood.

He thought that he should have forgotten these, forgotten the past that can no longer be turned into a nightmare, but the facts proved that Chen Mo was wrong, he could not forget, but rarely thought of it again.

Chen Mo had never seriously thought about what the big Ursus boy in the black wall said. At that time, he had no time to think about it, no time to think about every day that required a desperate fight to be distracted by meaningless things. He was so shaken that now it is difficult for him to recall what the boy said.

He could only vaguely remember that 052 once stood behind him with a shield, blocking the falling wind and snow in the cold winter and the blood dripping like raindrops.

The snow is very cold, but the blood is warm. Warm blood can get cold surprisingly quickly.

Chen Mo couldn't even remember what 052 looked like or what he said. He only remembered that he loved to laugh, and he used to love to laugh.

"you are here."

It was two days after the capture of the picket stronghold. That victory finally rekindled hope in the camp. Although the blizzard still did not stop, the atmosphere in the camp was much better than before.

Alina's infected person education group has been quite effective, and now the entire camp knows that there is an infected person teacher named Alina.

Her reputation even surpassed that of Frost Star among ordinary infected people.

Alina organized a small seminar with many women and infected people who had a certain education and were keen to learn.

It was said to be a seminar, but in fact it was more like what Chen Mo remembered the nuns and teachers doing in the orphanage in Longmen.

They didn’t know how to start. They had no lesson plans, no experience, or even specific directions, so they could only discuss with each other to make up for the shortcomings. In the process, they collected everyone’s opinions and learned from each other’s strengths.

As a result, a mood of progress gradually emerged in the dull camp. There were more smiles and conversations. Most of the infected people would use some of the truths and stories told by the education team as jokes in their daily lives. in the conversation.

They are willing to accept new things, which is a good thing, although Alina herself seems not used to being called Miss Team Leader by every infected person who knows her.

She became busy, so in the past few days, Chen Mo rarely saw her again. However, in Chen Mo's opinion, Alina herself enjoyed it. Perhaps she had always felt that she could not help Tallulah in the past. , was afraid that the relationship between herself and Tallulah would bring her trouble, and also felt that Tallulah walked too fast and too far, catching her off guard.

It is inevitable that this will give rise to some small inferiority complex and a slight weakness compared with Tallulah.

With Alina's character, she will probably never mention it to anyone. This girl can convince herself, but persuasion does not mean that she does not want to make changes. In the past few days, Alina has smiled a lot more, not as good as Chen Mo. When I first saw him, he just looked gentle, hiding something.

Now this deer seems to have finally found her niche. Maybe she is just not used to it for a while, but she can do it well and she is also making progress.

People cannot and should not stand still. As long as time does not stop, people must learn to move forward.

Shuangxing sat down next to Chen Mo and gathered the corners of his cloak.

She seemed to have come specifically to find Chen Mo, but after finding Chen Mo, she was not so anxious to mention it. Instead, she just sat next to Chen Mo, looking at the bonfire lit in front of the two of them from a distance.

Behind the tents in the camp, you can occasionally hear the voices of the infected talking, the footsteps passing by, and the snow drifting in from outside the valley, accumulating a thin layer on the rocks on the hillside not far away.

You can't see the wind and snow outside the camp here, but you can see the snow drifting in, sometimes accompanied by a gust of cold wind, and the bonfire is swaying in the sound of the wind.

"Are you looking for me?" Chen Mo asked. "What's up?"

"The snow outside has become much lighter today. The snow monsters think the snowstorm is about to stop. Based on our past experience, if the snow does not get heavier tonight, it should stop tomorrow morning."

"It's a good thing."

"That's right." Froststar nodded.

"If we are going to leave tomorrow, we should be ready tonight." Chen Mo mentioned.

Froststar was a little surprised.

"I haven't informed everyone yet." Shuangxing replied. She turned her head and glanced at Chen Mo. He was not looking at her. Shuangxing's eyes fell on the two weapons Chen Mo placed beside her. She stayed for a moment and then looked away.

"I came to you just to talk to you about this."

Her gray eyes reflected the light of the campfire: "Although the supply problem has been temporarily solved, the sick people in the camp have not yet improved. If we set off at this time, if we encounter any accidents on the road, the team that has just seen improvement may return again." There will be problems."

"But if we don't set off, we won't receive any progress from the guerrillas. We don't know what their situation is now. Will our stopover have an impact on the original plan?" Chen Mo asked.

Froststar was stunned for a moment, but did not refute.

"I want to hear your opinion. You haven't attended the meeting since you came back. Now the soldiers are asking me about it again. It would be better for you to hide here and relax by yourself."

"You want to ask too?"

　【@

It seemed that the soldiers gave her a lot of trouble, or pressure.

“There’s nothing to covet in this camp?”

Chen Mo smiled, Shuangxing stared at him, and his expression became serious.

Chen Mo, who noticed her gaze, sighed lightly.

"Okay, I take it back." He said: "Actually, I just want to be lazy. After all, I don't really want to brave the heavy snow to stand guard, and hasn't the problem of the camp been temporarily solved? I don't think I should be able to queue up. It’s only when it’s put to use.”

"that's it?"

Shuangxing asked suspiciously, as if he didn't quite believe it.

"I heard from Alina that Tallulah often asked to stand guard. I don't have her determination, so please spare me."

"Well...she does this all the time." Shuangxing replied with a slight hesitation, then looked at Chen Mo: "If you want me to believe it, it's best to change your story."

"...More importantly, if you and I were present at the same time, whose orders should the soldiers follow? It's fine for the moment, but as you said, if there is a disagreement between us, who do you think the soldiers should agree with? What do the warriors think of you and me, and what do the wendigos think."

Chen Mo asked calmly.

Froststar didn't answer for a moment.

In fact, it goes without saying that she also knows who the soldiers will listen to now, and maybe they will agree with her as a leader for a while, but what if she and Chen Mo really have differences.

"You think I would be embarrassed by this."

"You probably won't." Chen Mo didn't think about it, "But I have to think so, Shuangxing, because you are the current leader here. I can provide you with advice, but the person who makes the decision should be you yourself. ."

Shuangxing didn't answer. After a few seconds, she suddenly said:

"...You may be more suitable to lead everyone than me, Chen Mo."

Her palms hidden in the cloak clenched gently: "I must admit that I still have many shortcomings. If it weren't for you this time, I might just watch the infected people in the camp go on like this. It was the same last time. I know it was You reminded Yang Ge and the others."

"Really? I don't deny that if it were me, I could do better than you."

Chen Mo said that Shuangxing didn't seem to expect him to be so straightforward and said nothing more. Both he and Shuangxing became quiet for a while.

After a while, Chen Mo spoke again.

"I am now saying, let me replace you as the leader of this team because I am more capable than you. Do you agree?"

Chen Mo asked suddenly. He didn't look at the frost star, but looked at the bonfire in front of him.

Stretch out your hands in front of the firelight.

"Put the lives of everyone in this camp, including those you care about and the Yeti team, in my hands. Let me make the decision for you. You can rest assured, Froststar."

"If you can lead everyone to survive, I can..."

"I can't guarantee, you know, none of us can guarantee that the things we encounter in the future will be better, so I can't guarantee that I will be able to take them alive. Even if I think so, there is nothing It always backfires.”

Chen Mo interrupted Shuangxing's words and added softly: "Don't place your hopes on others, Shuangxing, this is stupid, and don't think about letting others do things for you that you can't decide, because The people you care about may not be that important to others.”

"you……"

These words made Shuangxing couldn't help but turn his head and glance at Chen Mo.

Chen Mo was also looking at her, and when he looked into those calm black eyes, Shuangxing suddenly discovered that there was no firelight reflected in his right eye, and his right eye was dim.

Frost Star was startled.

"your eyes……?"

"I can't see it."

"Does Tallulah know? [@#

"I haven't had time to tell her yet, but it's nothing, it's just an eye." Chen Mo replied lightly: "Back to the topic we just talked about, Frost Star."

"What I want to tell you is that in fact, no one is born with many things in this world. No one is born to lead others. No one is born to be good at fighting. No one is omnipotent. In childhood, people are also omnipotent. They know, but then it’s them who decide who they want to be.”