Longmen Memoirs

Chen seemed to already know some of the past from that year. Chen Mo didn't know how much Chen knew, whether it was all of it or just a part of it. From a few words, Chen only mentioned the events of that year and mentioned his own pretense.

She didn't ask any questions, and she didn't explain herself.

What to explain? What is there to explain? If she pretends not to recognize him today, he will not go to her. If this is her choice, Chen Mo will accept it.

But she didn't, and she didn't ask. Chen Mo kept waiting for her to ask, because she was such a person in her memory, but she didn't.

Did you underestimate her?

Of course not. Chen Mo has never underestimated Chen. He knows Chen very well. She is a person who will never look back until she hits the wall. She has to hit her scalp and bleed before she lets go. She doesn’t know how to compromise and will not compromise. She Always persistent, persistent and even stubborn.

She is a rebellious person at heart, and she has never given up this option.

Chen Mo followed Chen's pace, neither fast nor slow, and stood beside Chen. It seemed that as long as Chen Mo stood beside him, Chen would feel at ease for no reason.

You can see him by turning your head, and you can touch him by reaching out your hand.

The touch of the skin on his hands seemed to tell him that he was beside her. A person's temperature was not a number, but the temperature left behind when he touched her.

If Chen Mo held her hand at this time, Chen would probably have no objection, but Chen Mo didn't and neither did Chen.

None of them reached out or mentioned it first, and that was enough.

It was like a dream.

Chen suddenly had such an illusion. When she saw Chen Mo's face, such thoughts emerged in her heart. She did not dare to confirm or believe it, but this did not prove that Chen Mo was not important in her heart. On the contrary, it was Because he is too important, people dare not approach him. He is afraid that if he reaches out his hand, he will dissipate like a bubble. He is afraid that if he calls out his name, he will wake up from his dream.

It was not a dream, but reality. In reality, Chen Mo returned to Longmen.

On the day she returned to Longmen, Xiao Mo asked where her father was. Aunt Xingxiong said that Mommy was going to bring her father back.

Chen didn't know how to answer Xiao Mo's question. She stayed for a long time before saying that her father had gone to a far away place. Xiao Mo should grow up quickly and his father would come back when he grows up.

Just like Wei Yanwu told her at the beginning, as long as she grows up, she can bring Xiaota back. Grow up quickly, Hui Jie.

But when she grew up, she also found Xiaota. She failed to bring Xiaota back, she failed to fulfill the agreement she made back then, and she failed to muster the courage to tell Xiao Mo the truth.

What is the truth? The truth is that I killed him with my own hands.

He made a mistake, an unforgivable mistake, and his death was self-inflicted in everyone's eyes.Only a few people know the secret behind his death.

The day Wei Yanwu told her the truth, he asked her if she was ready to know the truth. The truth was cruel, too cruel. If it hadn't been for the inspector coming from Dayan, if it hadn't been for his own depression, if it hadn't been for him carrying the red sky and kicking her, Opened the door to the chief executive's office.

Wei Yanwu will never tell himself the truth in his life.

Chen had already guessed the truth, but she was unwilling to believe it, nor was she willing to assume that direction. Someone had to tell her, and it was better to hear someone admit it than to give up her last chance.

People make mistakes throughout their lives. Some mistakes can be remedied, but some mistakes cannot be undone once they are made. Chen made a mistake. She let go of Xiaota's hand. She has also seen sin. Sometimes sin is not intolerable, and sin is not tolerated. Not all come from evil.

Chen Mo also made mistakes, many of them. Some of them were right for him, some of them were real mistakes, some of which he could do nothing about, and some of which he turned a blind eye to.

Chen Mo is not a savior, nor does he have a great sense of responsibility. He is an ordinary person. An ordinary person can turn a blind eye to the suffering of others. An ordinary person can take the lives of others for his own sake. Most of this world lives like this. He is cautious and cautious, walking on thin ice, protecting himself wisely, weighing the pros and cons, and lacking a ridiculous sense of justice.

This world is neither black nor white, this world is turbid and unclear. The last thing this world needs is a righteous partner. Anyone who has this idea will eventually fall under the cold reality.

The word justice is very interesting. It not only makes people pursue and long for it, but it is also mostly a high-sounding cloak and an excuse for power struggles.

ps: The next chapter is probably about Longmen Love Story and Xiao Mo.

Chapter 13 Longmen Love Story ([-])

[Amiya, Your Highness has taught you a lot of truth, but it is not enough. You have to know that what you see is not necessarily true, and what you hear is not necessarily false. A person's life will be spent in lies and the pursuit of the truth. I hope you can understand. , and remember what I say to you at some point before you actually make a choice one day. ——Kelsey

Crystal Age 1097 in Chernobog]

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The occasional touch from Chen Mo's fingertips made Chen Mo so nostalgic. Along with the warm breeze in the summer afternoon, the breeze carried the strange dragon gate in Chen Mo's memory.

It's probably not a stranger. It's just that over the past few years, he has had a completely different feeling about this city every time, and he has a different identity every time he comes back.

Assassin, wanderer, lonely king...

Chen Mo experienced too many changes in his short life that made him tired. He had too many identities, which proved that he had traveled around this world countless times. He was like a lonely soul who came to this strange world and wandered around in the world. In the various reincarnations, I gradually forget my own face and my last persistence.

He was infected by this world and inevitably became as cold and cold as it.

People are resisting the Source Stone, but they still cannot give up its benefits. This world relies on the Source Stone to exist. People are divided into three, six or nine levels. The weak are always weak, and the strong get stronger.

Classes are clearly defined and royal power is supreme.

[Those strong people of Ursus, I think they are the only ones who are the future of Ursus. I think if they are not strong, they should be eliminated and abandoned. Some people are more suitable for survival and more suitable than them. Achievement. 】

[They will be reborn in the weak bodies of Ursus, cannibalizing their flesh and blood, and become stronger. Under your majesty’s leadership, your majesty’s will teaches us the direction of progress. Your majesty leads Ursus, but your majesty is not Pioneer, he is the leader, he is the faith, we gather under His Majesty's command, the future of Ursus will be prosperous. 】

[The city-state promises its residents a generous life and a stable environment to appease them, let their lives serve an artificial goal, tame the will to conquer in their nature, teach them peace of mind, and make them weak. 】

[If a person wants to live, he should be submerged in violence, recognize the hypocrisy of many morals, and know the pain in the earth. Violence flows in human blood, and nature has already taken root in the body. It is waiting to be awakened, and it will eventually will wake up. 】

[We want to hurt people, defeat people, and destroy people. If this is a disaster for Ursus, then we should bring disaster to others, to people outside Ursus, to people who are short-sighted and content with pleasure. People, they deserve to bleed, and they also deserve to be conquered and destroyed. 】

……

The infection of the Origin Stone has chilled people's hearts. People's hearts cannot stand the test, and most of their wills are not as indestructible as you think.

Any trivial matter, no matter how insignificant, can subtly destroy a person's faith.

Chen Mo's faith has been destroyed many times. After destruction, he expects, and expects new destruction. Of course, people will become numb, so when they think of the past, they can't help but be immersed in it and become unrecognizable.

"Are you distracted?" Chen suddenly reminded.

When Chen Mo came back to his senses, the street lights at the intersection turned green, and he and Chen Chu stood in front of the sidewalk.

"Oh, um." Chen Mo looked at the green light above his head, the crowds passing by on both sides of him, and the vehicles parked in front of the zebra crossing. "I remembered something."

"whats the matter?"

"Insignificant things." Chen Mo changed the subject.

"I don't want to remind you a second time. Since it's an unimportant matter, don't think about it and leave."

Chen did not continue the topic. It was not that she was not interested in Chen Mo's thoughts. In fact, when you fall in love with someone, everything about him will attract your attention.

Chen can probably guess what Chen Mo will think of. That is something she is unwilling to delve into. The more she delves into it, the more conflicts will arise between her and Chen Mo. Chen Mo doesn't want to quarrel with Chen Mo now, and quarrel over the past. It makes no sense at all and will only make them unhappy.

They followed the crowd across the sidewalk.

Chen Mo's eyes paid attention to the buildings on the street, the lattice stone slabs under his feet, shops, supermarkets, small restaurants, convenience stores, cafes, banks, residential buildings, and the gantry that he passed by. Some changes have taken place. This city is indeed very big. But it is also very small. Small people are too small in it, and big people look inconspicuous in it.

But there were some small changes in his mood. Because Chen was by his side, everything became fresh and different when he was with Chen.

They walked together in the streets of Longmen under the sunset, through the corners and alleys of Longmen, and through the ramp shops of Longmen. One day, they seemed to be back to how they were when they were children, holding hands with the same expectations and excitement. Walking in Longmen, where they first met, they held similar moods to each other.

Love sprouts in an instant, and quietly changes anyone inadvertently. When Chen Mo was a child, he did not expect that Chen would be the one who would accompany him in the end. When Chen was a child, he hated Chen Mo, but now they are together.

"Have you ever returned to the orphanage in these years?" Chen Mo asked.

"I'll take a look sometimes."

"We are all gone at that time, right? How are the nuns?"

"Everything is fine. Ms. Lan Min had a serious illness last year and has been recuperating after the operation. Ms. Kamiya is now in charge of the kitchen work." Chen replied, and she glanced at Chen Mo slightly.

"You haven't been there since you came back?"

"I really wanted to go back and take a look, but I never had the chance."

Chen Mo really wanted to go back, but he didn't dare to go back. He didn't know how to face Ms. Teresa. Chen Mo remembered that before he left, Ms. Theresa hugged him and said softly, "May God bless you." .

Chen Mo thought that it might be Ms. Teresa's blessing to him that allowed him to survive countless disasters and narrowly escaped death countless times over the years.

Chen Mo failed to see God. He grew up under God's attention, but God left him as he grew older.

"I heard from Ms. Teresa that in the past few years, an anonymous amount of money has been deposited into the orphanage's account. I have traced the source of the remittance, but I didn't get any useful results. I thought it would be you."

But you have been dead for two years.

"I asked Foxhound, and I always wanted to do something within my power. After all, I grew up there. When the whole Longmen was homeless, it was the orphanage and the nuns who adopted me. I should also do something for them. Order something while I can still do it.”

"Liar." Chen cursed softly, but it was undeniable that Chen Mo was very familiar to her.

Chen didn't know whether he should be happy or disgusted.Chen Mo is still the same person he is familiar with. It is better to say that he is the original person in his memory.

"What a nostalgic title."

Chen Mo didn't pay attention to Chen's words. Chen had called him a liar countless times, but that was when he was a child, but now, he felt nostalgic.

"Ms. Lan Min's cake still tastes bad?"

"She will probably be very sad when she hears you say that." Chen said: "Ms. Lan Min's craftsmanship is not that bad. I have tried the desserts she makes now, and they are much better than before. Ms. Ai Xi said She has been trying to learn how to make desserts and has a thick stack of cookbooks in her room."

"It's not that it tastes bad. It's rare that there is such a thing as cake one day in the orphanage. Everyone cherishes it. It's just that at that time, Ms. Lan Min couldn't wait to show it as soon as she learned it. Now that I think about it, I suddenly miss the cake she made. .”

"Really?" Chen said, "Since I miss you so much, why don't you go back in person? Now you have a chance."

"Ms. Teresa must be in her 50s. Can she recognize me?"

"You won't know until you go."

"That's fine." Chen Mo said, "Chen, let's go back once if we have a chance [//

"no problem."

"I was wondering if the oak tree swing is still there. When you were a child, you loved that swing. When you sat on it, you always swayed very high and smiled brightly."

"I thought you forgot."

"How could I forget?"

Chen was always like this when she was a child. It was probably after she left that dull home and the constraints of strict tutoring that she could truly liberate her romantic nature. She is a very lively person, full of energy and dares to try.But in Chen's house, everything was prohibited, and she was not allowed to do such outrageous things.

She likes life in the orphanage very much, not only because there is Tallulah and her friends in the orphanage, but also because only there can she truly relax, be truly free, and truly do what she wants and likes. matter.

Chen was very reserved when she first came to the orphanage. The harsh words from her tutor in her memory made her restrained and cautious. It was not until Ms. Teresa gently pushed her shoulder that she finally made up her mind and mustered up the courage. courage.

Xiaota was probably happy to see Chen like this. Although she never mentioned it to Chen, every little thing she did to tease Chen was in order to make her feel more comfortable. She wanted to change Chen and make her feel more comfortable. Chen became like himself, finally free, even if it was just a moment of falsehood.

Nothing brings children closer together than having fun.

"I haven't told you. Actually, I noticed the swing in the courtyard from the first day I came to the orphanage. I have always wanted to try that feeling. I have never tried it before. I can laugh out loud when I want to. You can cry loudly if you want to, and when the swing starts swinging, the wind becomes blurry in my ears, and I seem to be able to hear its voice, the sound of the wind."

"No wonder you are so happy." Chen Mo said: "I remember when you first came to the orphanage, you were quite polite. Everyone thought that you were a child of a wealthy family, well-educated and polite to everyone. But then you became the liveliest and most unruly, and no other child could beat you, like a little bully."

"Who do you think you owe it to?"

Chen looked at Chen Mo meaningfully. The side of his face was red and swollen. The angry Chen moved his hands and showed no mercy, especially towards Chen Mo. She seemed to have a natural instinct to beat Chen Mo.

Chen Mo didn't understand why.

"Could it be me?"

"Hmph..." Chen snorted lightly, which was regarded as acquiescence.

"Actually, at that time, the nuns always felt that you looked very pitiful. You looked well-educated but were not suitable for staying in an orphanage. There was a big gap between you and the children around you and you couldn't blend in with them. When everyone was playing together, , you are the only one sitting alone on the balcony looking at them, looking unsociable and reserved, you will not be able to make friends, you are obviously a child but you behave like a little adult." Chen Mo said, feeling a little funny:

"Turns out the nuns were wrong. You always surprise people and do unexpected things."

"For example..." Chen seemed to feel nostalgic and couldn't help but pick up the topic.

"For example, if you climb over the wall and get out, is the wall in the backyard still there?"

"Not anymore. I took a look when I came back. Ms. Teranza told me that the wall of the orphanage was renovated a few years ago and is much higher than before. It is impossible to climb over the wall again."

There was no regret in Chen Yu's words.

Chen Mo glanced at Chen walking beside him. She was no longer the little girl in the past. In fact, Chen was quite cute when she was a child, with short horns and a short and thick tail.

Chen Mo's eyes couldn't help but move to the slender tail behind Chen. The blue tail had fine scales, which felt cold to the touch.

"Now there's no need to climb over the wall anymore."

Chen Mo moved his eyes away and looked at the streets of Longmen in front of him. The cars passing by in the corner of his eye. All the things that could arouse their novelty in the past have gradually become familiar and boring over the years, making people lose their childhood interest. .

When I was a child, catching a cicada would make me happy all day long, but now I no longer do such childish and ridiculous things. The most unforgettable past is also the most irreversible past.

People cannot live in the past forever. People will grow up and lose a lot as they grow up.

"We've all grown up, Chen."

When we grow up, we can never go back to the past. When we grow up, we can come out of the big iron gate of the orphanage as a matter of course, and walk on the streets of Longmen as a matter of course, without having to worry about being discovered, and without having to worry about going back. If you are late, you will be scolded.

Chen suddenly stopped, and Chen Mo also stopped.

Chen turned around, and now she had to raise her head slightly to see Chen Mo's face clearly. The tiredness on his face was strange and familiar at the same time. His short black hair, corners of his eyes, and eyebrows, every part of him could bring back memories of her.