Longmen Memoirs

She would not leave the Guards Bureau easily, but she was not willing to leave her body alone, and she was not willing to take the risk of losing Xiao Mo.

In the afternoon when Chen left the Guards Bureau on vacation, she was walking on the streets of Longmen. She was full of confusion and uneasiness about the life that was about to be born in her belly. She saw the billboard of Longmen Apartment on Longmen Street.So I bought an apartment in Longmen District [-], lived here alone, and began to learn how to be a mother, how to educate my children, and how to face what was about to happen to me.

Longmen is a cold city, and it seems to be the same for Chen Mo, Chen, and Tallulah. Chen left home and returned from studying abroad. She didn’t have many familiar friends. Naturally, she couldn’t find anyone to talk to her. She was anxious and anxious. The uneasiness, faint expectations and regrets about the Guards Bureau accumulated day after day, making Chen's character more and more anxious.

During that time, Jiu would occasionally take time to come to her home to stay with her. She would sometimes take a stroll on the streets of Longmen, return to the orphanage, and inadvertently ask the nuns for advice on how to become a mother.

Chen suddenly found that she had too much to learn, but Ms. Telangsha and Ms. Lan Min taught her very seriously. She learned different things and recalled many memories of her childhood. It was inevitable that she would think of her own Mother, Chen made a decision that day.

She felt that she should not be a mother like her mother. It was because of such memories and experiences that Chen did not want Xiao Mo to become like herself, so she was trying her best to think and play the role of a mother. A qualified mother.

But... maybe she is not actually a qualified mother, Chen thought. Although she has been working hard, Chen can always see the reluctance and loneliness buried under the bright smile in Xiao Mo's eyes. She is A very well-behaved child, but I couldn't give him a complete home.

Chen never complained about Xiao Mo's birth because of this incident. On the contrary, it was precisely because of Xiao Mo and her company that Chen suddenly realized that she was not alone. Xiao Mo supported her through the journey. During the most difficult period when she first joined the Guards Bureau, she suffered from the difficulties faced by her superiors and the criticism from her peers.

But even so, she knew that there was still someone waiting for her at home, someone who needed her company, and there was a reason why she had to go back.

People often need a reason, or a thought, to support themselves when they are about to fall.

Chapter 15 Longmen Love Story ([-])

Yesterday seemed to be a recent dream. Chen Mo in the dream had just woken up and opened the door to his home as usual. Inside the door was a familiar scene, a somewhat monotonous room, a huge floor-to-ceiling window, and half-drawn curtains. Reflecting the dim sunset over Longmen, the sunset filled the balcony. Clothes hanging on the clothes drying rod outside the balcony fluttered slightly in the breeze.

He had seen similar scenes in the deepest part of his memory, but then he wandered all the way, stopping and walking before he had a rare chance to settle down, and when he settled down, he was mostly alone.

A small house of more than ten square meters is enough to be called his "home". Occasionally there are people who can be called friends around him, but in fact, he can still feel that he is alone.

Chen Mo looked around the room.

There is no one in the living room, toys are neatly placed on the sofa and coffee table, diagonally opposite is the neat kitchen, and the dining table next to the kitchen.

There is a photo in front of the TV cabinet. The photo is a group photo of two people, one big and one small. They are standing in front of a public bench. Behind them is the fence of Longmen Pier. The misty sea of ​​clouds below the pier and the vaguely visible crowds of people in the distance. Mountain.

The little person had dazzling short silver hair. She held Chen's hand and smiled happily. Chen lowered his head slightly and looked at her with a hint of endearment in his eyebrows.

The sound of the door closing sounded behind me.

"Where's Xiao Mo?"

"Maybe she fell asleep. She would go to rest when she was tired from playing. She was a bit sleepy during this period. Children are like this."

Chen took off the uniform that was placed between their hands, and the silver handcuffs were exposed under the uniform. Perhaps he only subconsciously chose this method on impulse at the time, but now Chen found that the handcuffs between their hands were very inconvenient.

She couldn't keep Chen Mo locked by her side forever. If he wanted to leave, he could always leave.

"Are all children like this? You were not a snoozer when you were a child. On the contrary, you were always very energetic." Chen Mo said, as if he remembered his childhood. There were only fragments of memories of his childhood left in his mind, but Chen Mo still I remember, even though I don’t remember it very clearly, that when I was a child, Chen always had an energy that I envied.

"Is it possible that you still know what happened after I went back?" Chen asked back: "I usually went to bed very early at that time."

The tiredness after playing hard, even though it only lasts two days in a week, has always been the most cherished and precious memory of Chen's childhood.

"Did you get scolded after you went back?"

"It was okay at first, but then they got used to it and they didn't bother to pay attention anymore." Chen said, as if remembering some unpleasant memory, he frowned slightly, then relaxed.

"Haven't you ever thought about going back? Go back and have a look?"

Chen Mo knew very well that Chen would not go back. It took a lot of strength for her to break free, so how could she go back, but he still wanted to ask.

Unlike herself, Chen still had a family. Although her family left her with not only regrets, but also resentment and rejection that she should not have had as a child. She had never felt the warmth of her family there. Compared to her, In other words, Chen Mo was a little luckier. At least Chen Mo had felt his family, even if he later lost her.

Chen is both lucky and unlucky. She is lucky that she has not experienced the feelings between family members, and of course she will not feel unresolved and painful when losing her. She is also unlucky because she let go of her only family member when she was a child.

Chen's movements paused.

"They won't expect a bad guy to come back, and I won't go back there again. He has severed ties with me a long time ago." Chen said, "It's good now, I left, but I feel much more comfortable."

She said this, maybe at some point, Chen will recall her childhood, not too good memories, but still worth cherishing.

"Then Xiao Mo, do they know about Xiao Mo?"

"I have nothing to do with him anymore, and it's not their turn to take care of my affairs." Chen said very decisively, as if he had returned to the identity of Longmen Superintendent Chen.

"so……"

"You always ask stupid questions." Chen looked at Chen Mo as if he were a fool.

"Knowingly asking."

Chen Mo smiled, noncommittal.

"But you answered anyway."

Even though he looked impatient, he still answered every question I had.

Chen tilted her head and said nothing. She hung the coat she took off on the stand next to the door.

"Let's go see Xiao Mo?" Chen Mo suggested.

Even if he wanted to go over, the handcuffs between them forced Chen Mo to think about Chen Mo's thoughts.

That's probably the case. In the past, Chen Mo seemed to have never considered Chen's feelings. In everything he did, he never thought about what she wanted to say from her perspective or asked her if she was willing.

"up to you."

The movement when pushing open the bedroom door was very small. Chen was in front of her. She pushed the door slightly open, and the remaining sunset fell on the blue sheets from the window. The little girl lay on the bed, curling up slightly. Wearing a red and black plaid skirt with some wrinkles on the edge, a black and white children's sweater hood is placed behind her, holding the stuffed toy in her hand with one hand, and holding it gently in front of herself with the other hand.

A few strands of silver hair were scattered on her forehead, her childish profile.

There were neatly arranged slippers under the bed. It could be seen that she had carefully arranged her shoes before climbing onto the bed. She was a very sensible girl.

"I really fell asleep." Chen Mo lowered his voice and whispered.

The moment before he came back, he had thought about how Xiao Mo would react when he saw himself again. He would probably be surprised and surprised, but also a little complaining and angry, just like the first time he came back.

But he never expected that Xiao Mo fell asleep. He had to admit that he was a little disappointed just because he couldn't see Xiao Mo's surprised expression the moment he opened the door.

"Yes." Chen responded softly. She walked to the bed, carefully bent down, stretched out her fingers and carefully smoothed the girl's short silver hair on her forehead.

The sound of subtle breathing sounded in the quiet room. The afternoon sunset outside the room made Chen Mo seem to be able to hear his own heartbeat rising and falling slowly with the girl's breathing.

No matter how many times he sees her, it always touches his heart. It is rare for Chen Mo to feel like this.

"Keep your voice down and don't wake her up," Chen reminded in a low voice.

"it is good."

They were like a young couple who came home late, walked into their child's room, and quietly looked at their familiarity【%-

Chen Mo stood beside Chen, the sunset fell on the two of them, Chen's gentle movements and the little girl sleeping peacefully on the bed, Chen's eyes were full of love.

Chen Mo suddenly felt that some unfamiliar yet extremely familiar scenes seemed to reappear in front of him. He could not explain the reason, but it was very much like the same actions his mother had done for him when he was a child.

Chen Mo seemed to see her figure on Chen's body, but when he came back to his senses, he saw Chen's blue hair in front of him, and he was no longer the little child he used to be.

He has grown up and has a family of his own, and they are his family. Over the years, some have been lost and some have been gained, but most of them have lost more than they have gained. They stop and go, and gradually live for the sake of living. When I looked back, I suddenly realized that I had walked such a long way and ended up back where I started.

"Has she always been like this, alone at home?"

"I'm usually alone and rarely go out." Chen whispered. "When I want to go out, I will go out with her. We usually go shopping on the street. She is very well-behaved and never makes any demands on me."

The back of Chen's hand gently stroked the girl's tender side face. She felt a little regretful and guilty in her heart. Xiao Mo was very sensible, but because the more sensible she was, the less she wanted to worry about herself, which made her feel owed and guilty, and wanted to to make amends, but find that there is very little that can be done.

"I can't ask anyone to take care of her, and I can't let her go out and play by herself. Maybe I'm not suitable to be a mother."

Chen Mo knew very well that the reason why Chen Hui left Xiao Mo at home alone was Origin Stone Disease.

As the Longmen police superintendent, Chen will not have extra free time to accompany Xiao Mo, nor can she take the risk of infecting others. Therefore, Xiao Mo can neither go out like an ordinary child nor hire a nanny to take care of her at home.

She couldn't tell others the reason, nor could she answer Shi Huaiya's question.

Chen tried his best to protect her, but most things in this world are not something he can do if he wants to.

"is it serious?"

Chen Mo looked at the little girl on the bed. Her short silver hair was a different color from Chen Mo's and his own. She looked like Tallulah. Both in appearance and personality, she looked very much like her when she was a child. She is also entangled in Originium disease.

Tallulah has been fighting against the disaster caused by Originium Disease all her life. The word "infected" has become the direction of her life, and the child in front of Chen Mo was born with the infection of Originium Disease.

She is lonely, and most infected people are lonely, so they feel afraid and uncomfortable with the intrusion of warmth, and that is why they are so longing for the future they can see, even if they lose their lives.

People usually only need one hope to risk everything. Chen Mo has seen too many hopes, true and false. Sometimes just two words can determine a person's life.

Life has always been precious and cheap.It is precious to those who care about you, but there are too many people in the world, and not everyone will care about you so much. What's more, people's hearts cannot stand the test, and human nature usually changes with the world.

"The symptoms detected by the infection were mild and his condition has been stable."

"What about you?" Chen Mo suddenly asked.

Chen was quiet for a few seconds and said, "It's not serious. I can adapt to it."

Chen Mo did not continue to ask.

"Chen, I realize that I am indeed a self-righteous fool."

"You know it's not too late."

In comparison, Chen has done well enough, but Chen Mo failed to be by her side when they needed him most and when Chen needed him most.

He left Chen alone in Longmen. He always seemed to do such self-righteous things. Foxhound was right, he was a fool who wanted to have his own way and was smart.

Chen Mo held Chen's hand tightly, and Chen turned back to look at him.

"sorry."

Sorry is the most meaningless word. People often say sorry only after they know that they have done something wrong. However, sorry cannot restore anything, and some things cannot be ignored by just saying sorry.

But I still owe Chen an apology.

I have ignored you for so many years and abandoned you on my own initiative, but who could have imagined that it would end like this in the end. We met together and failed to grow up together. Over the years, the three of us have missed each other. The most important time in life.

"No need to say sorry."

Chen turned his head, Chen Mo couldn't see her expression, her back was turned to him, and her voice came softly into his ears.

"At least you're back."

You are back and you are alive, which is more important than being sorry, but I am still afraid that you will suddenly disappear again one day, because I have done this too many times.

The girl on the bed seemed to hear something, her long eyelashes trembled, and she opened her eyes slightly, which were a pair of magnificent ruby ​​eyes.

Her eyes were a little hazy, but as they gradually became clearer, she saw Chen standing beside the bed.

"Mommy?" There was doubt in the childish voice.

The girl slowly got up from the bed and sat on the bed.

"Did I wake you up? I'm sorry." Chen gently touched Xiao Mo's head. "If you feel sleepy, just sleep a little longer."

"It's okay, Mommy." Xiao Mo rubbed his eyes and smiled at Chen: "Why did Mommy come back early today?"

In Xiao Mo's impression, Chen would have to wait until very late to come back. She had rested for a while today and originally planned to get up at night so that her mother could see her first when she came back. For this reason, she had already set the alarm clock .

"Something special happened."

"Did Mommy catch the bad guy today?"

Chen Mo, who was standing next to Chen, subconsciously felt something bad when he heard this sentence.

"I've caught him." Chen said softly and glanced at Chen Mo: "He's a very bad guy."

"Mommy is so awesome." Xiao Mo said happily.

Chen tapped her head lightly.

"Stop pretending, you little liar, you've seen it a long time ago." Chen said. "Tell me, how long have you been awake?"

Xiao Mo looked up at Chen in confusion, and then looked around the room, as if he had found nothing.

"Xiao Mo didn't hear anything. Is there anyone here besides me and mommy?"

This sentence is definitely intentional.

Chen Mo, who was waiting for Xiao Mo to notice him, now realized that Xiao Mo had noticed him a long time ago, but she deliberately ignored him and pretended not to see anything.

Chen Mo's expectations were disappointed. He should have understood that Xiao Mo was just a wallflower.

"Cough cough..."

He deliberately coughed twice, trying to show his presence.

Xiao Mo didn't seem to hear anything and just looked at Chen Mo, but Chen Mo could still notice that one of his hands behind him tightly squeezed the sheets under him.

Her mood was not as plain as he pretended to be. Chen Mo, who noticed this, relaxed a little and looked at her with amusement, wanting to see how long she could keep pretending.