Longmen Memoirs

"Xiaota has already found her own path."

Winter in Ursus never ends, the weather never gets warmer, and spring never comes.

The days of waiting for the winter snow to melt are so boring that it makes people almost crazy. The thin moss and tree roots cannot fill their stomachs, and the houses made of straw sheds cannot keep out the cold. The wet branches will make a crackling sound when burned in the fire.

No one will provide help to the infected. They are not rebels, nor are they the "brave cauldrons" of Mikhail the Great's period. They do not have their own cities, and they do not have much soil and fields.Their bodies were covered with Origin Stones, they held few weapons in their hands, the snow melted in their mouths and turned into water, and their stomachs were filled with grass seeds and bark. They had nowhere to go. The infected and people in the city Being divided, various countries are also suspicious of each other because of their different races. Only when they are hungry and cold in the snowy fields, people will become simpler.

Chen Mo stayed there. Apart from staying with Tallulah and using his own power to save a few people, he could not do more. He could not point them in the direction, could not protect them from the cold, and could not provide them with food.

Ino and Sasha, Froststar and Alina, Patriot and Shieldguard.

They needed change and support. The confidence they had finally built up in their hearts was gradually being worn away in the cold winter. Tallulah gradually lost weight from the fatigue day after day. She began to think that this road has no end. When will the road end? He doesn't know if he can still reach it. This road is really unclear.

The snow failed to melt, and even her heart was about to freeze. Chen Mo could only watch her working hard to support her day by day, but with that thin back, he was unable to do anything for her, nor could he win victory for her.

She is not a princess, and this is not Kazdaele. There are not so many people behind her to support him. She is too lonely, just gritting her teeth and holding on.

She can't do anything by herself, and the infected, who have no food and clothing, and can't even fill their stomachs, what can they do to change it? Even the guerrillas and Mr. Patriots are just settling for the status quo. .

Hope is fading day by day, the fire is drowned in the wind and snow, the ideal is far away, the faith is weak and weak, but the reality is always cruel and ruthless.

The infected need weapons, they need food, they need shelter, and they need allies to stand behind them.

Tallulah needed recognition and supplies, and sticks and pitchforks alone couldn't change reality.

They need Ursus to have fewer warships roaming the snowy fields every day. They need Ursus' army to not notice their growth. They need Ursus' government to be unable to oppress the infected. They need time and land.

It is a bad thing to make a promise that cannot be fulfilled, and hope without results is poisonous. The Ursus Empire only covered up their atrocities and lies with a lot of bread and bedding. Deception is the beginning of another kind of rule, but Beiyuan People on the Internet are having a hard time, and they will report to the pickets when they see an infected person. This maliciousness may come from their worries about their situation.

They need too much and they will bleed, but they shouldn't bleed in vain, they always do.

Ursus would not give them time, Tallulah needed victory to strengthen her faith, and the infected needed victory to show them that there was still hope.

Chen Mo took back his hand and looked at Xiao Mo, who was very similar to her. He seemed to see Tallulah when he was a child, the Tallulah in his memory, holding her in his arms in the attic on the third floor. She always had endless things to say. , they once looked at the city outside the attic window together, the tall buildings in the city in the distance.

[Tallulah... Justice is not a light word. After these two words, you have to give up a lot of things, bury many bones, and bear many sins. It is more bloody and cruel than imagined. Once you embark on it, This is a road that, whether you like it or not, you can't turn back. 】

【I hope you never find your own justice. 】

But you still found it, just like me, we all embarked on a path we never imagined, and were influenced by fate.

"She does not【/#

ps: Adjust your work and rest time.

Chapter 20 Dragon Gate Love Story (End) Around

"She's not coming back."

Chen Mo gently touched Xiao Mo's head, and his fingertips flowed through her fine and smooth silver hair. The soft touch reminded him of how he had touched Tallulah's head in the same way many years ago. silver.

But after so long, Chen Mo has grown up, and Tallulah has become farther and farther away from him.

Have you ever regretted the day you left Beiyuan? When Chen Mo was 16 years old, he met Scout when he was in Kazdale. They had many conversations, but what impressed Chen Mo the most was the day he was attacked at the Sakaz camp. , they deliberately concealed everything they did from His Highness in order to find out the spies in the camp.

The glass shard that carried a certain boy's dream was finally placed by Chen Mo in the infected camp in Beiyuan, at Talulah's bedside.

They all have their ideals. Someone has to do the hateful things, and someone has to be willing to be a bad person. No one can stay bright and beautiful forever. The reason why she looks desirable is because someone does it for her. What she should have done.

All changes, all changes, all great causes are accompanied by sacrifices. Behind seemingly just causes, there are often countless corpses buried behind them. Behind the halo of great people are mountains of corpses.

Once the general succeeds... thousands of bones will wither, corpses will pile up, and rivers of blood will form.

Chen Mo has seen too many wars and darkness, from Black Wall, to Black Steel, to Kazdaele, to Dragon Gate, to Londinium, to Ursus...

This world is too cruel, and precisely because it is too cruel, you have to pay a higher price to change it. Idealists are not bad, but the ideals of idealists will one day face this cruel reality. Will collapse.

[Once Tallulah learns everything, she will keep chasing you. She will not forgive you for what you have done. No matter right or wrong, she is an upright person with too much fantasy. Chen Mo, I ask you, will you one day do it for yourself? regret for his behavior. 】

【Won't. 】

[I need a reason, otherwise I can't make a judgment. 】

[I am an outsider, Mr. Bodrocasti. I am different from you. I am not a leader, and I am not indispensable here. Tallulah will go further with your company. 】

[You know better than me. I heard Froststar mention the quarrel between you and Tallulah. She did not agree with you punishing the infected who left the team. You are right, especially for an organization like the infected who is in danger. You must have strict discipline and be cautious at every step. You are worried that the infected people who have escaped will shake the morale of the army and betray your position, but Tallulah is not wrong. You cannot deny that they are not soldiers, they are just a group of ordinary people. Your strict military discipline does not apply to them. Excessive criticism will only make them resist and fear, which is counterproductive.They needed time to understand their situation, and Tallulah needed time to understand the reality. 】

[Ursus will not give us time. Tallulah must adapt as soon as possible. She must force herself to recognize her situation. If she cannot do it, she will not be able to bear this responsibility. 】

[Is that why you haven’t recognized her for so long? 】

[I have seen too many people who have the same naive illusions as her. I will not dissipate anyone's unrealistic words and entrust my life to such rhetoric. 】

[She just needs time. Please give her time. I believe she will not let you down. She has never disappointed you. As for the rest, Mr. Patriot, I have a request...]

Chen Mo took back his hand and looked at the face that looked familiar to Xiaota when he was a child.

"When Xiao Mo grows up, he will understand why Xiao Ta will not come back."

"Why will you understand when Xiao Mo grows up?" Xiao Mo puffed his mouth and shook his calf hanging under the sofa.

It seems that Tallulah loved to do the same movements when she was sitting on the bench in the orphanage as a child.

Chen Mo smiled.

"Only when Xiao Mo grows up can we find Xiao Ta in person." Chen Mo said, "When Xiao Mo grows up and finds Xiao Ta, then we can ask Xiao Ta why he didn't come back."

"Will Xiaota tell Xiaomo?" Xiaomo said uncertainly.

"Xiaota will definitely tell Xiaomo."

Chen Mo glanced in the direction of the kitchen. Chen Mo was busy in the kitchen. The apron she wore in front of her fell on Xiao Mo sitting next to me.

Chen and I both found Xiaota, but neither of us could bring her back.

Chen Mo opened his hand. Xiao Mo hesitated for a moment, let go of the pillow in his arms, and leaned against Chen Mo.

"You haven't told Xiao Mo why? Why did Xiaota tell Xiao Mo." Under the warm light, Xiao Mo looked up at Chen Mo, who had a faint smile under his black hair.

"Because Xiao Mo and Xiao Ta are relatives. Didn't Mommy tell Xiao Mo? Xiao Mo looks exactly the same as Xiao Ta when he was a child."

"Are Xiao Mo and Xiao Ta similar?"

"Yes." Chen Mo nodded: "Xiao Mo has seen the photo of Xiao Ta when he was a child, right? The one we saw together last time."

"I have seen."

"Isn't it similar to Xiaota?"

"Then, do you still like Xiaota?" Xiao Mo asked suddenly. Chen Mo turned his head in surprise. Xiao Mo lowered his head slightly: "When Mommy left, I asked Aunt Xingxiong where Mommy went. Aunt Xingxiong said, Mommy is looking for you, but I know that Mommy is not looking for you, Mommy is looking for Xiaota."

Her voice was getting lower and lower.

"You said you wouldn't lie to Xiao Mo again." She raised her head and met Chen Mo's eyes with her red eyes: "You also went to find Xiao Ta, right?"

"Correct."

"The day Mommy came back, she cried so sadly." The light in her eyes dimmed, staring at her silver hair hanging by her ears: "Did Xiaota do something bad, so you all want to bring her back? .”

"Who told you?" I don't know where Xiao Mo heard it.

"Grandpa." Xiao Mo said, "Grandpa said that Xiaota did a lot of bad things. Did Xiaota really do a lot of bad things?"

"Xiao Ta didn't do anything bad." Chen Mo said softly and wanted to reach out and pinch Xiao Mo's face. Xiao Mo turned his head and Chen Mo's hand fell in the air.

Only then did Chen Mo realize that the little girl in front of him was really different. She didn't look like a little girl. She was really similar to Xiaota, with the same sensitive mind and hiding many things.

"Xiaota just did what she wanted to do." Chen Mo said: "In the eyes of many people, what she did was wrong, but Xiaota saved many people. Xiaota is a kind girl. Mommy and I I want to bring Xiaota back because I am afraid that it will be difficult for her to live alone outside. In recent years, Xiaota has not been living a very good life."

"Think about it, Xiao Mo, when you lived in a warm house, Xiaota might be walking in the heavy snow against the wind, snow and cold. When you were eating a sumptuous dinner, Xiaota's pot was cooking something difficult. While you were eating wheat husks and roots and watching TV, Xiaota could only sit in front of the fire in the snow, staring at the flames in a daze." Chen Mo said:

"You grow up every year, you have new clothes to wear, and you have mommy to accompany you, but Xiaota has nothing. She keeps moving forward in the harsh wind and snow, not knowing where her next meal will be, or where she will be next. You should stay there to avoid the cold, Xiaota once grew up in Longmen like you, she is so pitiful."

Xiao Mo listened quietly to Chen Mo after saying something about Xiao Ta. She slowly lowered her head, seeming to think of her own experience with Xiao Ta. She and Xiao Ta looked very similar, but Xiao Ta had been outside all these years. Live a lonely life.

"Xiaota is so pitiful, why doesn't she come back?"

"It looks pitiful in the eyes of others, but Xiaota doesn't feel that way."

Chen Mo thought of the girl who met him on the first day standing in the snow.

She was still the same as usual, standing under the hut in the fine snow, looking at herself who had returned with Alina. She may not have thought that she would meet her again at this time and place.

She rushed over and hugged herself, as if she had done it many years ago, but she had grown up and grown taller. Everyone was looking at her, looking at Tallulah who was different from the past. Only when she was in front of her could she occasionally Act like a child.

I thought she had changed, but in fact she had never changed. Her embrace was still so warm and strong, and the fragrance of her hair reminded me of memories from more than ten years ago.

[I may have come back a little late, Tallulah. 】

[I've been looking for you, where have you been?Why can't I find you, idiot! 】

I thought I'd never see you again.

She tried her best to hide the crying in her words, but the sound and the moisture falling on the side of her face still wet her clothes that were frozen by the winter snow.

"Xiaota has always been a strong person. She is stronger and works harder than anyone else." Chen Mo said softly: "Xiaomo, everyone in this world can say that Xiaota is not good, that she is wrong, that she is a villain , Deny her, but you can’t, neither you nor me nor Chen, we are Xiaota’s relatives, so people in this world can oppose her, but we can’t, do you understand?”

Chen Mo may not have the position to say this to Xiao Mo. In these years, he has not fulfilled the responsibilities that a father should have. To Xiao Mo, his existence is a big blank.

But she didn't blame herself. She was too sensible, so sensible that it made people feel distressed. She was also so similar to Xiaota when she was a child, that the resemblance sometimes made Chen Mo afraid that one day she would take the same path as Xiaota.

"I see."

Chen Mo's hand gently squeezed Xiao Mo's face, and Xiao Mo leaned slightly on my shoulder.

"Xiao Mo has actually always wanted to meet Xiao Ta, right?"

"Ah."

"Mommy and I both want to see her." Chen Mo said: "Sometimes I think about how great it would be if Xiaota came back one day. We would live together and accompany Xiaomo to grow up, and Xiaota would teach her Xiao Mo has a lot of knowledge, Xiao Ta is very smart, she knows many, many stories."

"Will Xiaota come back? Can Xiaomo still see her?" Xiao【%

"Yes, maybe, when Xiao Mo grows up, we can go find her and bring her back." Chen Mo said, "So... Xiao Mo needs to grow up quickly."

"Then, will you leave again?" Xiao Mo suddenly pulled Chen Mo's sleeves: "Will you leave again like last time?"

"No, I will stay with Xiao Mo this time."

"I haven't decided whether to forgive you yet." Xiao Mo said, turning around: "If mommy doesn't forgive you, I won't forgive you either, so you have to ask mommy to forgive you, and then I will forgive you."

"Will you help me?"

"Yes." She said, and shook her head: "I'm not helping you, I'm helping Mommy. You can't bully Mommy."

"I promise." Chen Mo raised his finger.

"Come here." She waved to Chen Mo. Chen Mo leaned down and she whispered something in her ear.

"Do you know?" Xiao Mo asked.

"Understood." Chen Mo nodded.

Dinner was very ordinary. Chen Mo didn’t know if Chen heard the conversation between Xiao Mo and me, but she probably heard some of it, but she still pretended not to know anything.

Xiao Mo sat in the center of the dining table for some ordinary home-cooked meals. He was very quiet during the dinner. Occasionally Xiao Mo would say a few words.

In the bathroom, Chen adjusted the water temperature while Xiao Mo sat in the bathtub.

"Is it cold?" Chen asked.

"not cold."

"What did you just say to him?" Chen asked curiously. In fact, she heard the conversation between Chen Mo and Xiao Mo, but they were a little far away. She only heard something vaguely.

Also heard the small tower.

"He? Who is he?" Xiao Mo asked in confusion.

Chen knocked her head.

"Don't pretend to be stupid. Haven't you been asking me when she will come back? Now that she is back, you are acting stupid again? I don't remember teaching you this."

"Mommy, don't hit me on the head, I won't grow taller."

"How old are you?" Chen rubbed her silver hair. "Why do you pretend you don't know him today?"

Xiao Mo stuck out his tongue.

"I haven't forgiven him yet." Xiao Mo turned around and said, "If mommy doesn't forgive him, I won't forgive him either. Xiao Mo will always stand by mommy."

"Are you willing to do it?" Chen asked funnyly. "Since you are on my side, why are you so happy talking to him?"