Longmen Memoirs

"Remember it and don't forget it."

Chen gritted his teeth and showed a fierce expression, but Chen Mo suddenly reached out and held her in his arms.

What Chen Mo couldn't deny was that Chen's long-trained body and contrasting expressions and reactions made him deeply fascinated. The lost years in the past and the many years of conspiracy, calculation and fighting on the edge of life and death became the best relationship between them. catalyst.

I don't know how long it took, but Chen suddenly struggled to break away from Chen Mo's arms, flushed, hugged the quilt tightly and shrank to the other side of the bed.

With the dim light outside the window, Chen hid in the corner of the shadow and gritted his teeth and looked at Chen Mo. His bare shoulders and hair were covered with sweat stains that had not yet dried.

"I don't want it anymore, are you a devil? I don't want it anymore!"

Chen's voice was hoarse, with a slight tremor and fear, and he curled up his legs.

"Are you afraid?"

"Who would be afraid!"

Chen subconsciously retorted, but suddenly he seemed to realize something, but he still didn't want to show his cowardice. He could only stare at Chen Mo unwillingly, as if he was wary that he would pass by.

"Then come here..."

"Don't think about it!"

Chen rejected Chen Mo's words without thinking about it, and subconsciously squeezed his body back. As if he thought of something, he shouted angrily: "I absolutely don't want it! Why didn't I realize that you are so nasty before!"

Chen Mo couldn't help but laugh at her angry words, but soon, Chen Mo stopped his smile and looked serious.

"Who do you think made me like this? As the person involved, don't you have to take responsibility? Chen."

"Don't push yourself too far, asshole!"

"Then you come here..."

"Stop dreaming, I won't get over it even if I die." Chen looked determined.

"If you don't come over, I'll have to come over?"

As Chen Mo spoke, he stretched out his hand to hold Chen's ankle. Chen began to struggle crazily, but his strength became weaker and weaker.

"Don't move! Stop! I'm warning you, if you dare to move again you will be finished!"

Chen Seli pointed at Chen Mo restrainedly, but he could not stop Chen Mo from slowly approaching him as he was holding his ankle.

Chen Mo grabbed her trembling fingers.

"you……"

"Let's do it again, Chen." Chen Mo said softly.

Chen looked at him, hesitated for a few seconds, and then whispered:

"The...last time."

"Ah."

Chen took a deep breath and lowered his fingers as if accepting his fate.

"I'm afraid of you."

After a long time.

Chen's frustrated voice mixed with rapid breathing sounded again:

"Chen Mo, you untrustworthy bastard!!! Remember this... you are dead!"

Chapter 27 Snow in Londinium

In the remaining few days, the lives of Chen and Chen Mo turned into an unspeakable chaos, or rather crazy.

They stayed in that apartment, day and night, doing the same thing as if they were tireless.

The emotional outburst was unexpected, but people couldn't muster the courage to refuse. It is difficult for people to think of Chen now, who was restrained in everything she said and did, and could even be described as old-fashioned and stubborn.

As Bagpipe said, Chen Chen's cold demeanor and always-displayed bad face make it difficult for many people to get along with her, let alone become friends.

The past experiences were like a heavy mountain pressing on her body, making her live in a kind of depression, self-blame and powerlessness. Chen didn't like this feeling, so she naturally wanted to resist and do something. What to fight against, and therefore that heavy sense of urgency always followed her, forcing her to spend more energy to struggle and get rid of it.

In Chen Mo's view, all this was just something she asked for. She was making things difficult for herself, wishfully shouldering something called responsibility, and blaming herself for the fault.

She was like this when she was a child, otherwise she would not have said those words to herself, nor would she have voluntarily fallen into our trap without saying a word when she knew that both herself and Tallulah were deliberately targeting her.

She is smarter than she thought, but she is looking for trouble because she is too smart. She values ​​her words and deeds too much, perhaps because of her upbringing, and she also values ​​responsibility too much.

But this kind of Chen is the one Chen Mo is familiar with, and she has not changed much from her childhood. Perhaps the culprits behind her subsequent changes are herself and Tallulah, but ultimately, it has nothing to do with herself. Character also has a lot to do with it.

Chen is a stubborn person, so she should be bound by emotions, but unlike Chen Mo, she has her own clear bottom line and decisive courage.

Maybe it was because of the heavy pressure, or maybe it was just because Chen Mo's goodbye with her made her subconsciously recall everything in the past.

Chen Mo's departure was just the last straw that broke her. She was so impatient that she chose such a ridiculous method in a hurry.

After all, Chen has always been lonely, but she doesn't look like this, but the so-called loneliness doesn't just mean having no friends or relatives.

Loneliness actually lies in the fact that you obviously have relatives and friends, and you are in a lively atmosphere, but you are unable to integrate into the bustle. You look at the feasting, laughing, lights, singing mixed with people's conversations and fall into your ears. But he was surprisingly calm, as if he was incompatible with them, as if he had become a unique third party.

You can only look at your own reflection in the wine glass, feeling pity and ridiculous, but there is no second shadow to accompany you.

Chen has lived in this kind of environment since he was a child, with bright lights, spacious houses and everyone's smiling faces, the rules that seem to be endless, and the sight of someone staring at you in every word and deed, even in your breathing. It should be gentle and gentle, and every word spoken and every look must be carefully considered.

She had longed for the children sitting on the merry-go-round in the amusement park, envied the sight of being able to hold their parents' hands, act coquettishly and make noise. She also longed for the day when she could be as free as them.

But the courage to yearn for freedom and the throbbing to break everything could only be deeply buried under one stern look after another in that spacious mansion, and drowned in one serious reprimand after another. heavy yoke.

Become a burden to Chen.

Until I met Chen Mo and Tallulah, it would be better to say that I came to the orphanage.

Chen is a bird who yearns for the sky but cannot muster the courage to jump off the cliff. Under the bewitchment of Chen Mo and Tallulah, he slowly begins to remember those things that were once beyond his reach, and strives to spread his wings.

She was always lively, just lively in their presence.

She may be a little timid, but only when she is in front of them can she be who she wants to be without any burden, so that she later left that home.

In Chen's eyes, that cold and depressing house was not a home. Perhaps even she herself could not have thought that one day she would regard the place where she had just set foot for the first time as her home. And Chen Mo, of course Become another family member to her.

Chen suddenly understood later, but by then it was too late. A place without familiar people and voices, no matter how familiar it is, is just a strange place with a group of familiar but unfamiliar people.

Chen Mo and Chen told bizarre stories, hiding in a place that only they knew in the drizzling weather, as if only the three of them were left.

All the seeds have been planted in the past, so one day, these seeds slowly grew up, and unknowingly they became what they are now, and unknowingly they were closely connected again. .

The so-called cause and effect may be like this.

If Chen Mo's character hadn't been like this at that time, if Chen Mo hadn't sneaked out of the room on that rainy night, if Tallulah hadn't followed Chen Mo out of curiosity.

Maybe even further away, far away from their "father" who didn't hate them so much, far away from Tallulah who didn't leave that home and sent to this orphanage, far away from Wei Yanwu who didn't soften his heart because of Chen's eyes, far away from that disaster None of this would have happened if it hadn't happened, or even if he hadn't died.

Chen Mo will not come to the orphanage, and Wei Yanwu will not give Chen Mo a chance to choose because of his sacrifice.

And their destinies will not be intertwined in the fragmented and complicated lives, let alone after being separated for so long that even the appearance of each other has become blurred, nothing has happened when they meet again. Change, even closer.

As Chen Mo said, he had no reason to hate Wei Yanwu, nor any excuse to resent the infected, especially when he became one of them.

Wei Yanwu gave Chen Mo a chance to choose. It can be said that thanks to him, Chen Mo got the chance to struggle in this indifferent world, and as he promised, he could keep up with them again.

Ordinary means ordinary.

Ordinary people may be able to live in this world. In Longmen and Colombia, no mobile city will abandon an ordinary person. What's more, Chen Mo has no chance to live a better life, but ordinary people can always only be ordinary people, staying away from disputes. Stay away from infected people and live step by step within the rules set by others. There will never be a chance or possibility to fight against this rule.

Ordinary people live just to survive, for three meals a day, for work, and for other trivial things, but Chen Mo knows very well that Chen and Talulah will never be ordinary people like the residents of Longmen.

Chen Mo knew very well that with Wei Yanwu standing behind them, they would never be reduced to ordinary citizens, and Tallulah would never allow herself to live like this.

Fantasy is always just a fantasy, and dreams always wake up one day.

Chen Mo is an ordinary guy who cannot be more ordinary, and he is also an ordinary person who cannot be more ordinary. He cannot climb to a high position by himself, and he does not have the power to overcome obstacles alone.

He is not even as good as the most ordinary person, because he is an orphan, an orphan who does not even have parents or relatives. He lives because of mercy and good luck. People like him can only become ordinary in the end.

There are too many smart people in this world, and they work hard. The most indispensable thing is people with ability. But no matter how powerful people are, they can only be human. They can't make their wishes come true, and they can't make their words come true. Follow.

What they lack is just an opportunity, an opportunity that they must try their best to get, an opportunity that can pull themselves out of the quagmire and change everything.

Chen Mo got this opportunity, so he had to pay a corresponding price.

The relationship between Chen Mo and Chen came to a final conclusion in Londinium. Chen Mo did not expect that one day the girl who gradually became blurred in his memory would be held in his arms as quietly as she is now.

He thought that they would care for each other without saying anything, that they would become friends whom he had not seen for a long time, that they would gradually become strangers, or even turn against each other, but he never thought that they would reach this point.

"I still remember you always hated me when I was little."

Chen Mo lowered his head and looked at Chen who raised his head and looked up at him.

Chen put his arms around his shoulders, and his smooth arms had a warm touch. His blue hair was scattered on the pillow, and one strand fell on Chen Mo's neck, and one corner was pressed against his face.

"I hate you too now." Chen looked at Chen Mo fiercely and held his arm a little harder:

"Hypocritical, gloating and full of lies, it makes you want to punch you in the face."

"Isn't it because you envy me that my relationship with her is better than yours?"

Chen Mo exposed Chen's cover, and as expected, there was a pain in his back, but it was quickly covered by a palm.

"I don't deny it, I don't want her to learn bad things from you." Chen retorted: "It's just because of how you are now that you make people feel uncomfortable!"

Chen said and sighed softly.The atmosphere seemed to become much quieter all of a sudden.

"Is she... well now?"

"I do not know."

"I thought you guys were still in touch?"

"We will find her, Chen." Chen Mo said, "I know you always feel guilty, but you also know in your heart that this is not your fault. Neither I nor you had the ability to prevent this from happening."

"If only it could be as easy as you said."

"I have the same responsibilities as you. You can't bear this alone. No matter it's better or worse, I will go on with you."

"Huh... But why do I remember someone saying that he always remembered that he promised to stay with her when he was a child." Chen raised his head and looked at Chen Mo with a sarcastic smile on his lips:

"Did I hear wrong?"

"You heard me right." Chen Mo was a little embarrassed: "I know what I am doing, and I really don't want you to get involved, and you shouldn't get in either."

"But I still came in." Chen said provocatively.

"So now even if you want to quit midway, it's impossible."

Chen Mo said that the girl in his arms always reminded him of his childhood.

"I don't want to regret it. Remember when I met you? I thought I was hallucinating. You looked different from what I remembered. In fact, even I almost forgot what you looked like, but I recognized you the first time I saw you.”

"I felt surprised and resentful at that time, but more importantly, I was afraid. I was afraid that after blinking, I would find that what I saw was actually an illusion. I was also afraid that when I went in, I would find that I had just recognized the wrong person." Chen said softly. :

"But after I walked in and found out you had left through the back door, my first feeling was one of joy and panic. I was afraid that you would suddenly disappear in front of me again, even though I had already found you."

Chen raised his head, held Chen Mo's right hand and placed it on his face.

Chen's fingertips fell on the side of Chen Mo's face, with a kind of warmth and nostalgia in his red eyes:

"You disappeared for almost 12 years, and you appeared in front of me when I was about to forget your appearance. Only then did I realize that I felt more joy and nostalgia in my heart than hatred."

Chen Mo held her hand on the side of his face and heard her softly say:

"I'm very conflicted, maybe even I don't want to admit it to myself," Chen said:

"I've actually always liked you. I liked that you appeared in front of me to gloat when I wanted someone to accompany me the most. I liked the ridiculous and interesting stories you told me. I liked that you pretended to be beaten by me and acted shamelessly. To retort, I also like that when you accompany me walking in the streets and alleys of Longmen, when I am hesitant, you push me to do things that I have never dared to do before."

"I know you have always loved lying, but I also know that you have never lied to Tallulah. Sometimes I envy her. No matter what you do, you will always stand by her."

She put down her hands and hugged Chen Mo's waist again:

"But the more this happens, the more guilty I feel. I have already received enough compared to her, and I don't want to take away what belongs to her."

Chen Mo stretched out his fingers and lifted the hair from Chen's forehead.

"But these are not what you want, right? Chen"

Chen didn't answer.