Longmen Memoirs

But in the past two years, she would always ask herself the same question repeatedly in her heart: Do you regret it?

Regret?

The word regret has always been meaningless, because it alone cannot change anything. It is called regret precisely because it has already happened and cannot be undone.

But humans are very complex creatures. Even if they know they cannot be changed, they will still show the same emotions. Because humans, first of all, have feelings, they can never deny their own sensibility, and they can never remain rational.

She couldn't be sure whether she would regret it, because she would not have another chance, and even if she could go back to the past, she would make the same choice.

Tallulah has always made a clear distinction between individual and collective, love and responsibility.

The story of rebelling against the world and becoming the enemy of the entire world for someone sounds heroic and even moving, but when you think about it carefully, it is a kind of selfishness, a hugely irresponsible selfishness.

She couldn't do such a thing, and she couldn't throw away the lives of countless people behind her, selfishly blocking everything for her own selfish desires.

She is not a tyrant, unable to make all-or-nothing decisions, nor is she a wise master, because she knows that she cannot do anything on her own.

Her dream was so huge that even if she blocked everything with her own strength, she wouldn't be able to stir up any waves. All she could do was to believe in her dream as much as possible until one day, she would drown in her dream. She had already made that preparation.

But things in the world are always unpredictable, with unpredictable turns and unpredictable fates.

Tallulah lowered her head, the light in her eyes dimmed, replaced by a trace of nostalgia. She held a yellowed photo in her hand, as if she saw a familiar face smiling in front of her. The face in the photo Stop at eight years old.

Still the same, stupid and silly.

Tallulah breathed a sigh of relief.

On the top of the 72nd-floor command tower, the tall figure standing behind her stood as quietly as a mountain. His face was covered by a ferocious bone mask, and his sight was as sharp as a frost blade. .

His tall stature made it easy for him to see the photo in Tallulah's hand, but he didn't ask aloud.

Although he knew very well what the leader was thinking at this time, he would not ask or mention it. Just like when he chose to stand behind this young man, everyone should be responsible for their own choices.

For better or worse, this is the price they should bear.

"Victoria's reaction was a little faster than we expected." Tallulah put away the photo and put it in her arms.

"As expected...as expected."

His voice was hoarse and heavy, like the fiercest cold wind blowing on the northern plains of Ursus, but no one would have any doubts or contempt for him because of this.

"We should have been prepared for this before the Rhode Island arrived, but now it seems that Kazdaele has begun to be wary of us. Do we have to be prepared?"

"Have officials from the empire been here?"

"Three days ago, the liaison officer of the Third Army visited me."

"Ta... Lula..."

"I know what to do, patriot. The empire cannot be trusted. What's more, with our current situation with the empire, there is no possibility of cooperation." Tallulah said: "Compared to this, the other group of people who came with them On the contrary, it makes me more interested.”

Tallulah looked down at the city in the dark night, thinking of the meeting three days ago.

She sighed softly.

"Besides us, there are many infected people in the world, but there is only one integrated movement."

"It's...the infected...organization." Patriot easily understood Tallulah's words. "Ta...Lula, not...everyone...will...agree...with...your ideas. This...is...not...surprising."

Not everyone is willing to reconcile with ordinary people, and not everyone is willing to forgive people for the evil deeds they have done to them. There has been too much hatred accumulated over thousands of years, and values ​​cannot be easily adjusted.

"I can understand that people need time, time to forget, and time to accept." Tallulah replied softly. "I just feel regret and pity."

"You...have...done...well enough..." Patriot did not retort: ​​"No need to...be entangled, people...are...very stubborn creatures...Once an idea is established...it is difficult to...be... break in."

"But we have no choice." Tallulah said: "No matter what happens next, once we are connected with the infected, it will definitely be involved in the integration movement."

Patriot was silent for a while. He could not refute Tallulah's guess, because with the current scale of the integration movement, once an incident involving large-scale infected people occurs, the world's attention will inevitably be cast on the flourishing integration movement.

Regardless of whether they are involved or not, they are still to blame, and the most embarrassing thing is that they cannot prove themselves, because once it is proven that the infected person has nothing to do with them, the integration movement will lose its foundation, but equally, they cannot use Strength to counter the doubts from the outside world.

The integration movement will be brought to the forefront.

"Your... considerations... make sense." Patriot said. "What...you...want...me...to do?"

"Can our army stand up to Ursus' army?" Tallulah asked.

"...It's absolutely impossible..."

"I guess the empire can't bear it anymore." Tallulah said: "There have been countless spies and spies that have infiltrated into our area over the past year. When the empire makes up its mind to take action, our situation will be even more difficult."

"We... need... time..."

"The empire also knows that we need time, and they will not give us time." Tallulah shook her head. "No one will help us this time."

The Patriot paused slightly for a moment.

"Victoria pulled her hand too fast, and Kazdaele was also impressed. I think the empire has probably guessed the secret agreement between us and these two countries, so they chose this time to come."

"Do you...do you suspect...it's our...internal...reason?"

"No, there may be internal reasons, but I'm pretty sure that the empire should have noticed something a long time ago. It's just that the war hit them too hard, leaving them no time to take care of us."

"What is the empire's request?"

Tallulah paused and spoke in a complicated tone:

"They are interested in Longmen."

"Dragon... Gate..." The Patriots hesitated for two seconds: "Their... target... is not just us..."

"We all know Ursus. The emperor's ambition is greater than we thought. The war two years ago was regarded by him as a shame. Now he wants to wash away this shame with his own hands, and we are likely to be pushed into his In front of the chariot.”

"What a mercy." Tallulah pinched her fingers and raised the corners of her mouth mockingly: "Should we be destroyed now or be destroyed later."

"What are you going to do...?"

"I will not surrender." Tallulah turned around, looking up at the tall figure of the patriot: "I will not accept any demands from the empire. We have experienced more difficult situations than this, and this time, we are equally They'll get through it, even if it's a war, and if they want it, I'll let them get it."

The Patriot knelt on one knee in front of Tallulah and raised his right hand to his chest.

"As long as...you still firmly...believe in your...path, the...shield guard...and I...will...always follow...behind you..."

"Patriot, Froststar is on Rhode Island now."

"Ah... Lina has already... informed... me."

"Next, that ship will become the key, and the Empire may attack them. I hope you can understand that I cannot call Froststar back at this time, and the relationship between us and Kazdaele cannot be severed."

"This is...her choice...choice."

"Not only that, that ship must go to Longmen. I will arrange for the Kingslayer to go there first, and they will become our bargaining chip." Tallulah seemed to have made a certain decision:

"If necessary, I will go to see Wei Yanwu in person."

After losing someone you can rely on, you have to learn to protect yourself.

Chapter 56 A day at Penguin Logistics ([-])

Many years ago, when I opened my cell phone, my address book was full of people I knew and didn't know. In recent years, I have gradually lost contact with them. After many years, there has been no news from them.

People often say that after a person dies, everything about him will disappear from the world little by little. At first, some people will remember that you have been there, but later, no one will deliberately remember it anymore.

Everyone will live their own life, and the past is the past, and no one will stay where they are.

Just like Texas now.

Chen Mo was really happy for her.

This girl who had always been indifferent, cold and silent had a new life. Her cold eyes occasionally shed a warm light in the joyful atmosphere, reflecting the faces of everyone in this small dormitory. .

She seemed to have found a new life, and the wolf who lost the pack found a new home in the tossing and turning life, although she was still taciturn, even though she was still not good at expressing her feelings.

But at least there was finally some color in her eyes, instead of the indifferent attitude and helplessness about life and death and the future when he first met her.

She gave up on her destiny and chose to live by the name Texas.

It reminded Chen Mo of himself.

I have also tried to give up my name and choose to live as another person. From Columbia to Kazdaele, from Black Wall to Black Steel, I have changed countless names and adopted countless identities. But in the end, I I was not prepared. After catching up with the past, I suddenly realized that I had been living in the past all these years.

I desperately want to move forward, and keep moving forward, but I realize it later, just like when I was in the black wall, I tried every means to forget in order to survive, but after I left, I desperately wanted to remember. .

So he fell deeper and deeper, and before he realized it, he was pulled by the past and could never break free.

Maybe Vina was right.

She had already seen it clearly when she was in Victoria. Like her, Seria probably already knew what kind of person she was.

I know the cowardice hidden deep in my heart.

don't run away from...

They are always reminding themselves, consciously or unconsciously, not to escape, not to escape from their past, and not to escape from their future.

But the future is too far away, and the past is within easy reach.

People will always make the same mistakes intentionally or unintentionally. Some mistakes are very deep, and some mistakes are irreversible even though they know they are irreversible, but they still do it without any reason or reason.

Just because I want to, just because I know that I can't escape or face it.

I have lost a lot of things over the years, and I have also gained them, but when it comes to what is left between gain and loss, maybe nothing is left.

Ordinary is a word that makes people feel helpless and yearned for.

When I was young, I was unwilling to be ordinary. Because I lost everything that mattered most, I started to fear the word after I became alone. I was afraid that I would not be able to keep anything or protect anything, so I did not want to be ordinary.

But when I grew up, I realized how precious these two words are. It is better to say that I started to look forward to this word after being extraordinary. The best thing is to get a better ending.

But often the endings depicted in those beautiful stories are far from reality. In reality, there are no heroes who save beauties, and in reality, you can be awesome without being ruthless. You won’t meet an old man who gives you everything. There are no martial arts secrets that are too low on the cliff, so that if you want to stay alive, you have to spend too much effort to struggle.

Most things are useless in blocking your life. Most people don't care whether you live or die. In most lives, there is little luck.

Injuries will bleed, explosions will cause sparks, and flesh is no match for steel.

this is the truth.

"What's wrong?"

Texas' voice was as cold as ever.

His pale golden eyes looked at Chen Mo, who was sitting on the sofa. Sitting next to her, he chattered with her about what he had seen in the past few days and his thoughts about Texas, and started to complain about his work intentionally or unintentionally. , hope to go out with Texas next time.

Croissant was sitting cross-legged on another sofa, flipping through the souvenirs and amulets she had placed on the seat, which were said to be of great commemorative value. She had just met Xiao Mo, but her familiar personality made her quickly start to interact with the little girl. He talked about the origin and value of everything on the table.

But... Chen Mo felt that most of them were bragging, such as the animal teeth that were said to be blessed by the Snow Saint and the bamboo sticks that were obtained from a large shrine in the Eastern Kingdom.

Chen Mo didn't remember that Dongguo Shrine had the service of asking for bamboo sticks.

This Fengho girl seems to be starting a new business of her own.

The capable angel was much better. Sitting in front of the sofa with her chin propped up, she stared at Chen Mo with a smile, then at Texas, and then looked at the sky. Chen Mo always felt that something bad was brewing in that head. thing.

She had to think so, because there was a hint of "I want to cause trouble" hidden in Angel Angel's smile, and it became more and more obvious.

"Nothing..." Chen Mo shook his head and silently picked up the teacup. The coffee placed on the coffee table had cooled for a while.

It is worth mentioning that the Texas and empty water glasses looked like they were for couples. Chen Mo glanced at them briefly and confirmed the conclusion he had just drawn.

Lily is infinitely good.

"boring?"

"It's quite interesting." Chen Mo took a sip and looked a little reserved: "Is this how you spend every day? Xiao Mo and I didn't disturb your rest, right? I just heard that you just came back today."

"It's okay, the way back is easy."

"Travel frequently?"

"Occasionally, not a lot."

"It seems like you have adapted to this job." Chen Mo put down his cup.

"Fortunately, apart from being a little noisy, it's not a nuisance and it's not annoying either."

"Don't look at this Texas guy who is living so freely now, but thanks to me always protecting her." Angel Neng suddenly stopped talking and said.

"Don't you know, godfather? When Texas first came here, he didn't understand anything and didn't speak much. Most people couldn't get along with him. He always had a cold face and didn't know how to deal with others." The capable angel raised his fingers one by one: "How can someone with such an unsociable personality like her be able to get along in the company? Apart from being able to fight, she can be said to be useless. If I hadn't taken her with me, where would she be?" I can survive until now."

Chen Mo no longer expects the capable angel to stop calling him godfather, which is an ambiguous title.

"Is that so?" Chen Mo was not sure.