Longmen Memoirs

"You're welcome," he said, then suddenly: "You've never said that before."

"People will change." Chen Mo said: "If it were me before, I would have tried my best to survive, but now I find that some things can't be done without working hard, and some things can't be done even if I risk my life. Come on, we are not students in school, dreaming about the future life, we are mercenaries, brother Si, people who hold their heads on swords, you can't always expect me to hide here all my life and be safe and smooth sailing. , even if I wanted to, Black Steel is not a charity shelter."

"Although what you said sounds right." Sfeldt's expression became strange: "But why do I sound so uncomfortable?"

"Good advice is hard to hear, brother Si." Chen Mo said: "If you think you are indifferent, then it means I am right. It is the problem if you are not in agreement. Didn't you tell me to try a different way of life? , I’m trying.”

"What you call a test is to find a random student among the students to contact you. What kind of test do you think this is? You have nothing to do." Sfeldt shook his head and sighed: "You, When did you become so enthusiastic?"

"We are just an ordinary student and instructor."

"Hey, is this ordinary thing you're talking about serious?" Sfeldt's mouth twitched, as if he was disdainful.

"What does it mean to be serious?" Chen Mo asked pretending to be confused.

Sfeldt picked his ears.

"Okay, ordinary. I often hear people say ordinary. Foxtail and I also have a very ordinary relationship as colleagues. Who and whom were not ordinary people at the beginning."

"You are so ordinary, but you are not serious."

"I dare not say that." Sfeldt waved his hands seriously: "I am a serious person, and ordinary people are serious people. There is nothing to say."

"..."

"I can't help you." Chen Mo was helpless.

"Concession, concession." Sfeldt bowed his hand: "With my level, brother, I will definitely be a Jinshi in Yanguo. You can't say that I am normal."

Chen Mo couldn't refute.

Sfeldt's proud expression gradually faded away. He pulled out the chair in front of Chen Mo's desk and sat down, resting his hands on the back of the chair and looking at Chen Mo.

Chen Mo sat on the bed, subconsciously took out the cigarette from his bag and put it in the corner of his mouth. He looked at Sifeldt and handed the cigarette to Sifeldt. Sifeldt shook his head.

"I'm not used to it."

Chen Mo lit the cigarette. He didn't use a lighter, he just stretched out his index finger, and a cluster of flames ignited and extinguished on his fingertips.

Sfeldt looked at the flames at his fingertips, and the white smoke drifted away.

"Smoking less is not good for your health." Sfeldt said, hesitating for a moment and then asked: "To what extent?"

"Fortunately." Chen Mo replied: "I can't take my life for the time being."

Most people need to use a staff to use spells. Only a few people and a special case do not need to use a staff as a medium, because they themselves are the best carriers of the Source Stone.

Infected.

"To be honest, I suddenly regretted bringing you back. Maybe I should have let you stay in Kazdale." Sfeldt said tangledly: "If I don't bring you back, you don't have to consider staying." Regarding black steel, Colombia is not much better than Kazdaele, but after all, I have to be familiar with it here. I thought that if you did something stupid, I would still have the opportunity to tell you the truth, but now it seems that there should be no Is it possible?”

"I will always come back, Brother Si, it's not your fault." Chen Mo said, "Actually, you knew I was an infected person at the beginning, right? I came to Black Steel because I knew I was an infected person. I didn't think twice about it. I want to go somewhere, so I joined Black Steel with the mentality of giving it a try. It’s been so long, and there’s no point in hiding it anymore. I will leave sooner or later, and Black Steel won’t let me leave easily, because I am Infected people are the best excuses for trainees here, and my two years of missing in Kazdale can just make up for this gap."

"That being said, then Longmen..."

Sfeldt hesitated to speak.

"I am an infected person, Brother Si, I know it."

Sfeldt fell silent. He suddenly didn't know what to say. In fact, he could have said some bad words, but he suddenly felt it was inappropriate and opened his mouth. The jokes and humor were blocked again.

There was only this big boy in front of him who had just grown up and looked at him.

"There's no need to try to hide it for me anymore, Brother Si."

Chen Mo's words made Si Feierte stunned, and he slightly averted Chen Mo's gaze.

"It doesn't matter, it doesn't take much effort."

"But you can't hide it from me forever." Chen Mo shook his head. He held a lit cigarette between his fingertips, and the morning sun had not yet penetrated the dark clouds in the sky.

Sifield wanted to say something else, but Chen Mo interrupted him.

"When I was a kid, a child told me that she wanted to protect someone for her whole life, but after all, she couldn't protect her all the time, because people will encounter many unexplainable things in the future, and a lifetime is too long." Chen Mo said, "So... Let me become an infected person in Kazdale, you don’t know anything, Brother Si.”

"What do you mean? You don't treat me as a brother!" Sfeldt said loudly. He looked a little angry and stared at Chen Mo.

"Actually, I have always been curious, why is it me?" Chen Mo asked: "It's strange to say that, Brother Si, you were my spell guide at the beginning, and you were not just my spell guide. Just think of it because of Foxtail. But I don’t understand why you value me so much.”

"Isn't it necessary?" Chen Mo asked.

"Of course not." Sfeldt replied without thinking, looking at Chen Mo seriously: "Why do you ask such a stupid question? The reason is not important, brother. What is important is that people will always encounter so many people in this life. Individuals, friends, brothers, lovers, no one is important to anyone from the beginning, except your old parents, and it just so happens that none of us have such concerns."

"You must ask me why, how do I know? In turn, I ask you, you are always thinking about Longmen Longmen, why did your girl value you so much in the beginning?"

"As expected, I can't compare to you, Brother Si." Chen Mo was speechless: "You are a Jinshi talent."

"I'm not joking with you now." Sfeldt shook his head: "I'm serious. Please be serious. I won't ask you what you encountered in Kazdale, and I won't hold you accountable for using this." I will tell you what you want to do if you get appointed in this way."

他 说:

"Have you ever thought about your future?" Sfeldt said: "We brag together, go to nightclubs together, get drunk together, chat and fart together, and we are so drunk that you carry me back, and then the next day We are making the same mistake again. I really hope that this kind of life can last forever and forget all the troubles. If you stay in Black Steel, you can come to my wedding in the future. I will also go to your wedding. I I want to be your master of ceremonies, everyone is in suits and ties, and I will speak freely about my feelings at your wedding. I must have a lot to say. We want to buy a house in the same neighborhood, and I can also be the godfather of your child. Tell her about our glorious history, your scandals.”

"I think this is your future."

He looked at Chen Mo as if he were looking at his own brother. His eyes were too gentle, not gentle enough to look like the cunning Sfeldt.

"But I know that you have many things hidden in your heart, and you have to do it, but I know that you are an infected person, a damn infected person!"

His voice gradually became lower.

"Then tell me now, have you ever thought about your future? You said that girl in Longmen. In fact, it's not just that girl who remains in your heart. She is just an excuse. Brother, what you really think about is the one in your heart. It’s a hurdle you can’t get over because you don’t know what kind of person you should be.”

He said, paused again, and sighed.

"...I shouldn't ask, but I brought you back after all. Since you have said some things, I just have to explain them clearly. I also have some things that I have always wanted to say but have never been able to say. Now I only have We, only I know about your affairs, you can forget about it later, or you can just pretend that I didn’t mention it if you don’t want to answer.”

This sentence is like foreshadowing.

"Something has changed since you came back from Kazdare. I can't say whether this change is good or bad. You just looked cold before, but now you feel like a different person to me." He said: "Yes, that's right. It seems that you have become more like a human being. You can speak human language, have a sense of the world, and have learned to care about others. But in your heart, at least you wouldn't hide it before, but now you tell everything Hidden deep in my heart.”

He stared at Chen Mo's chest and finally slowly read out the line of numbers.

"...013, you remind me of this line of numbers again, of those guys in the past who did one thing before others and another after others. Ha, that's really stupid, isn't it?"

Both he and Chen Mo knew the meaning of this line of numbers. Sfeldt had also seen the black code on Chen Mo's chest with his own eyes, because when he was rescued, he watched the surgery with his own eyes and covered it up with his own hands. The source stone on Chen Mo's waist eroded, hiding his identity as an infected person. If it was left to others, Sfeldt would not worry. He could only be at peace if he watched it himself.

But he never told anyone, just like he used his authority to investigate Chen Mo's resume and tamper with the information he left at Black Steel, he also never told anyone.

Otherwise, he really thought that everyone was blind. If he hadn't publicized Chen Mo's suspicious bloodline everywhere, how could he not have attracted the attention of other people and the higher-ups? He just didn't know what method Chen Mo used to conceal his identity as an infected person. Joined Black Steel, but he has kept this secret.

Perhaps from the first time he decided to hack into the information database for this guy, he knew he would never look back.

"Look at what the hell you are doing now. You are burning bridges, being treacherous and ungrateful." He used several idioms in succession, like resentment: "You think I am useless, so you are going to do your job." Great cause, I have become a burden to you, you want to leave me alone and go do your 013."

Sfeldt is really sharp, so sharp that it catches people off guard.

He looked at Chen Mo and asked in a low voice, with the corners of his mouth raised as if to mock.

"Am I stupid or are you stupid?"

Has Chen Mo thought about the future?

What is the future, such as becoming a scientist, doctor, teacher in the future... It is similar to what you want when you grow up, ranging from big dreams to small career plans. For example, 09213, she wants to open a security company in the future, so she When she came to Black Steel, such as His Highness, she hoped that Kazdale could find a future that belonged to her, such as Scout, Doctor, and Kelsey. Their ideals were temporarily pinned on Theresia, and such as Wolper, Her current ideal is to beat herself once, although she thinks too much.

Someone asked Chen Mo about the future. If someone asked him when he was a child, he would probably be able to tell a lot of thoughts, but now, he suddenly doesn't know how to answer.

Sakaz's ideals belong to Theresia and the Tower of Babel, 09213's ideals belong to himself, as well as to Sfeldt and many people Chen Mo knows now.

Maybe he could become a part of their ideals, but their ideals did not belong to him after all. Even his original little dream of returning to Longmen was finally shattered by his identity as an infected person.

He knew very well in his heart that Sfeldt was right. Returning to Longmen and Tallulah had become his obsession. He could no longer tell whether he was missing or obsessed.

Although what Kelsey said was incredible, no one could tell whether it was good or bad. He no longer took chances.

He still wanted to avoid the topic and just casually used two innocuous words to deal with it, but Sfeldt's burning eyes finally made him give up this idea.

It was a look that I had never seen before. It was quite similar to Sfeldt's red eyes when I saw him again, but now they are much calmer than then, still blue, like It's the sky and the sea.

"No." Chen Mo said, "I haven't thought about it."

"Don't you think the word "future" is too far away? Brother Si, tomorrow is the future, next week, and next year is the future. It is never definite because we don't know what will happen in the future. I I know what you mean, but I don’t know how to answer you, Brother Si." Chen Mo said: "You know that I will go back to Kazdaele sooner or later. Some things can only be done by me personally, and some things can only be done by me once they are done. There’s no turning back.”

He seemed to remember how 052 in the black wall asked him if he missed home. He didn't dare to think about how he answered at that time.

Because it doesn't make sense, or because it just can't be thought of.

Many years later, Tallulah, who will undoubtedly be bewitched and replaced by the black snake, will be like Chen Mo now, not thinking about his future.

When Alina met with misfortune and the integration movement fell apart, she sat in the confinement room in Rhode Island and wondered how she would repay her sins in the future.

She was bewitched by the black snake, but she was the one who did those things after all. If she had not agreed, if she had not been disappointed, how could she have remained silent.

She escaped because she didn't dare to think about it, and because she had already accepted her failure and left her body to fate.

There were many things that Chen Mo couldn't tell Sifield.

There is no way to tell him that there is a monster hidden in his body. There is no way to tell him that he may kill many people in Kazdare in the future, killing mountains of corpses and seas of blood, and killing rivers of blood. There is no way to tell him, because He couldn't even guarantee himself what would happen in the future.

Chen Mo can use many people, and he doesn't care whether he uses them or not, but there is no need to involve Sfeldt. He is a small security operator of Black Steel. He does not have such big ambitions, and he does not care about the Sakaz people. Life, death and future, because Colombia is his homeland, and he is not an infected person, so he does not need to worry about his future.

He has a good job, generous remuneration, no worries about food and drink, and he is heartless. He is like a fish in water at Black Steel. Not surprisingly, he will own a farm of his own when he retires.

This kind of ordinary and peaceful life is what he deserves.

But what about Chen Mo?

Ah, it turns out he is a monster.

It turns out that he is a poor god, an indistinguishable bastard, a wandering ghost.

What is he?

Where is his home?

The road home has long been buried under the heavy snow, and there is a violent wind and snow in front of me. At the end of the wind and snow, there is an isolated black building, which is the beginning of freedom.

His past is in the old apartment, in the resettlement camp where human feelings are cold and warm, in the narrow sky of the orphanage, and in the bustling streets of Longmen.

His future lies in the depths of thorns densely covered with Origin Stones, and his future lies in the bloody fighting and the treacherous fog.

I saw natural disasters ravaging the earth.

I see all living beings miserable and confused.

I saw him walking alone, scarred and riddled with tons of sins and ghosts.

I saw him holding a sharp blade in his hand, with his feet in hell, looking up at the world, and cutting off the shackles of destiny that have enslaved people for thousands of years.

He is a high-altitude God who holds authority and overlooks the world.

It should be so.

No.16 Chapter Cat, Snake and Fox ([-])

"You know I have to go back to Kazdare sooner or later. There are some things that I can only do personally, and there are some things that once done, I can't look back on."

Chen Mo replied like this. The cigarette burned to the end in the ashtray. The smell of smoke was reminiscent of the fog on the battlefield and the choking feeling of suffocation.

"Can't look back? There's nothing that can't be turned back. Don't you have a saying in Yan country... turning back is the shore." Sfeldt retorted: "How do you know it's not the shore if you don't look back?"

"What is shore?" Chen Mo asked back: "Okay, brother Si, I know you like Yanguo culture, but you don't understand the meaning of this sentence. In my opinion, turning back to shore is a word that deceives yourself. Brother Si, you If you don’t even understand what’s in the sea, how can you turn back?”

"You're a Colombian, so don't fight with me." Chen Mo said: "Actually, you know in your heart that I must have done something in Kazdale. I can tell you, maybe more than you think. "

"The status of an infected person is quite good. I don't dislike it. After all, it's useless even if I dislike it. It's better to accept it. After all, I have been an infected person for a long time. I haven't survived like this for many years."

"I won't stay in Black Steel forever. Maybe being infected is a good thing for me."

"shit!"

Sfeir said something special: "Go to the street now and say this to me in front of everyone. See if anyone believes you. 10 minutes, 10 minutes at most, no more. Police Department The people will come and take away you, this monstrous guy."

"Colombia, Victoria, Yanguo, countries big and small on this land, who would have such an idea as you, an infected person ****, becoming an infected person means losing everything you have now, now you tell me... A good thing?"

He looked at Chen Mo as if he were a fool.

"I can't figure out what kind of magic the Sakaz people cast on you to make your outlook a little abnormal. Go see a psychiatrist and don't resist treatment."

After he finished speaking, he paused again and shook his head.

"Forget it, forget it, it's useless to say anything now. It's hard to persuade the damn ghost." He said: "You have your own ideas and you have calculations in your heart. I'm just a little angry. When you decided to go It would have been better for me to shamelessly hold you back in Kazdare than to be like this now."