Heavy girl? I feel worse than Black Hole Trigger!

Just before the stage lights went out, Toyokawa Shoko saw Wakaba Mutsu as if looking in her direction.

In the darkness, the drum set could be vaguely seen. The drummer raised his drumsticks and lightly tapped the hi-hat cymbals, signaling the beginning of the music. Then, a deep singing voice, as if seeping up from the abyss, gently enveloped my ears.

"'If only my songs about life could make you appreciate life.'"

"'If only my songs about family could make you appreciate love.'"

As the strong tone of the guitar and the steady hum of the bass played, the stage lights focused on the girl in the center of the stage who was holding the microphone tightly and looked extremely petite and fragile even when standing upright.

She looked straight ahead, or rather, at the only person in the audience she wanted to talk to.

"...even though you say that, what you really want is just some sympathy."

"I almost became an ordinary person overwhelmed by desire—"

During the brief pause, she slowly closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"It's me."

The guitar opened the true prelude with a repetitive and stacked melody, and Gao Songdeng closed his eyes and placed his hand on his chest. After one measure, he followed the guitar melody with his ethereal singing voice that was almost chanting:

"Feel the pain and sing. Feel the sorrow and sing."

"Sing to survive."

"It's just a collection of self-centered people..."

The rapid drumbeats suddenly pushed the rhythm forward, and the girl opened her eyes at the same time.

"Songs like this can't save anyone."

"But, I..."

She took a deep, inopportune breath. The abrupt pause caused the music to repeat an extra measure. Toyokawa Shoko heard a faint, confused murmur from someone nearby.

however.

“————I really want to be your god!!”

From that petite body, an unimaginably powerful voice erupted, like a bomb...

The singing, which was close to shouting, even drowned out all the guitar and drum sounds for a moment, causing the speakers surrounding the exhibition hall to emit a piercing tinnitus; the guitarist, whose only outline was left in the shadows, seemed not to be outdone, and swung his arms exaggeratedly, and the melody, so dense that it seemed as if two guitars were playing at the same time, once again took over the music.

The lead singer clutched her clothes tightly at her chest, as if she was trying to rip her heart out. Even from the audience at the back, the wrinkles on her face were clearly visible...

"How can a song like this heal your festering wounds?!"

She opened her mouth as wide as she could, and with an expression even more distorted than her clothes, she uttered a song that sounded like a scream.

"Even if I hug you tightly and scream, how can that change reality in the slightest?!"

It sounds like a question, but also like a sigh; it sounds like regret, but also like venting.

"Isn't it just me who feels refreshed by this kind of randomly roaring music?!"

She gripped the microphone tightly with both hands again, as if she had grabbed the last straw.

"I just want to empathize. But I also want to save you..."

"I'm so powerless. I'm so powerless. I'm so powerless. I'm so powerless."

“…I feel so powerless.”

The sound fades, the lights go out, and a guitar solo bridges the gaps.

The flashing stage lights turned the only four people on the stage into shadows reflected on the background wall.

But no matter how the guitarist distorts the light and shadow with his dense plucking movements, or how the drummer sticks to the rhythm to prevent the drums from being lost, or how the bassist dances softly in the blurred pure white...

Shoko Toyokawa was still staring at the lead singer with his head down in the center of the stage.

Because she just raised her head and took a deep breath, all the gazes gathered into a river.

"——The scars are peeling off and forming scabs."

"Who do you want to talk to? This sounds like a stupid story."

She was nearly choking with sobs, but her voice never paused, the poetic words being bloodily revealed in her uniquely gentle voice. The words were clearly written with such dejection, but the moment this girl sang them, they took on a completely different kind of power.

"'You saved me,' 'I'm starting to want to live,' and so on."

"...Ah, I see. The change is all thanks to you, isn't it? That's great."

The guitar plucked, a clear riff filled the background, and the girl sang softly as if reciting a poem:

“When I was a child, I thought I would grow up to be an outstanding adult one day.”

"Rather, I want to grow up to be a good adult and save myself."

"However, as time passes, I have become only a mottled and muddy person."

"I try my best just to live, singing every day as if I'm going to throw up..."

The girl gently swayed her body. Her voice seemed to rise and fall in a rushing river, making the music that once filled the space seem like a sudden rush of water.

It was obviously extremely dense, but it was completely unable to shake her singing voice which sounded soft at first.

“No matter how many times I sing, I sing as if I were peeling off a scab on my body.”

"——Even though I'm a flesh and blood person, I want to become your god!"

That moment.

Toyokawa Shoko slowly opened her eyes.

The stage light shone diagonally on the girl, leaving two pure white marks on the wall.

In the diffuse shadows, like a pair of wide-spread wings, it slowly descended from the starless night.

...Just like an angel.

But the girl who was enveloped by this sacred light curled up her body tightly.

"How can such a song heal your festering pain?"

The angel's wings trembled restlessly, and the girl felt the pain as if she could no longer straighten her back.

"Even if I hold you tightly in my arms and scream, the pain you feel won't change at all!"

She folded her arms tightly, but nothing could be held in her arms, which were never wide.

"I don't really like this kind of swaying, roaring music!"

She trembled slightly in the falling light, as if the icy June rain had never stopped.

"I just want to feel a connection. But that won't save anyone."

She murmured as if she were crying—

"I feel so powerless."

She lowered her head.

"I feel so powerless."

She arched her back.

"I feel so powerless."

She bent her knees.

"I feel so powerless."

She bent down.

"I feel so powerless..."

Then, she finally stood up quietly.

She was still holding the microphone, but her empty expression as she looked up to the sky seemed to indicate that there was nothing left.

just like.

That day, in the rain, her appearance as she stared blankly at a girl as cold as icy rain.

……

For a moment, Shoko Toyokawa could hardly control her expression.

"————."

But the next moment, a heavy hand gently pressed on her shoulder.

She slowly turned her head and looked.

Baodeng Zheli's smiling profile came into view in the dim light.

……

"I want proof that I've lived."

"I want to get someone's praise or something."

"...Things like that don't matter at all. I'm a declining being anyway."

The gray-haired girl murmured calmly, almost like a sigh.

“I want to sing a song that can save someone.”

“I want to sing a song that can protect someone.”

"I want to sing a song that can save you."

then.

The silence was broken by a sound like tearing breaths.

“…I can’t do that.”

"You can become happy on your own terms—"

The girl finally raised her head with all her might.

The rapidly falling melody seemed to be pushing her toward the sky.

"How can such a song heal your festering wounds?"

"I want to hold you tight and cry out for you, your scars and pain, all of it!"

She opened her mouth ferociously, stretched out her hands towards the light, and shouted at "you" like a song:

"But in the end, you are strong, and you will surely be able to move forward on your own."

"That's enough. But if one day tears roll down your face——"

"Your pain,"

The pen tip fell.

"Your bitterness,"

The pen tip fell.

"Your weakness,"

The pen tip fell.

"Your heart..."

The pen tip fell.

"With my powerlessness,"

Line by line, line by line.

"With my incompetent song,"

One by one, one by one.

"Sing this dirty song for you!"

The flying petals turned into scattered notebooks.

"I'm so powerless. I'm so powerless."

Turn memories into words, and turn words into songs.

"I can't become a god."