I am the emotional sustenance of your deceased

"Have I actually broken the promise I made to my daughter? She rarely asks me for anything, so could it be that I can't even fulfill her few wishes?"

The red light went out and then lit up again, and the sense of security that Su Shi had just gained in his heart kept flickering.

I feel so guilty. I clearly promised Qiansui.

[Is this how it felt when my mother broke her promise to me as a child and didn't make it home in time to have dinner with me?]

Su Shi's heartbeat stopped, and she seemed to see countless boomerangs chasing and hitting her.

Stop smashing it, stop smashing it, you're going to break yourself into pieces.

It turns out that if it were me, I wouldn't be able to do better.

What a failure.

The car behind was urging Su Shi to start quickly, and it was only now that she noticed the green light.

She stepped on the accelerator, and at the same time, she also stepped on her restless heart.

I couldn't help but want to curl my hair, but my hands were on the steering wheel and I couldn't spare the time.

The familiar intersection had lost its daytime traffic, and under the neon lights were countless closed restaurants. Su Shi saw the izakaya where she had taken Chitose to dinner last time.

It closed long ago, when I was working at Sushi...

After finally getting through the agonizing ten-minute drive, Su Shi pushed open the gate of the yard and walked along the outdoor corridor to the door of the house at the corner.

The people next door and around here have already turned off the lights and gone to sleep. This is indeed the "quietest and most restful residential area" that I chose.

The key made a heartbreaking sound as it turned. Su Shi nervously played with her fingers and gently pushed the door open with her elbow.

Amid the creaking sounds, Su Shi's gray-blue pupils were completely unable to adapt to the dim light in the room.

She rubbed her eyes, and when she opened them again, her pupils shrank into pinholes in an instant.

Under the orange light, a little girl was sitting at the dining table.

She was so lonely, dozing off with sleepy eyes, and there were faint stains of saliva at the corners of her mouth.

She was so small, not even as tall as a chair, and when she sat there she looked like a large figurine.

Qiansui's shadow was dragged very long, extending all the way into Su Shi's heart——

[This looks so familiar, ah… too familiar… what is this…]

This scene is exactly the same as the scene when I was a child waiting for my mother to come home.

Su Shi didn't know when the backpack she was carrying on her shoulders fell to the ground.

The only thing she knew was that her body began to tremble uncontrollably.

The child sitting at that table didn't seem to be Chitose Nagasaki, but...his childhood self.

The person standing in a daze at the door was not Nagasaki Suyo, but... her mother.

She is now standing in this position looking at her daughter, just as her mother was standing in this position looking at her.

what.

My mother at that time was just like me now:

[Are you sad?]

Ch153. The rise and fall of a century is determined by man, not by heaven.

Sad.

The mother clearly knew that Tiancai had told her to spend more time with her children and not to be like her in the past.

As a result, he broke his promise and failed in his duty in the blink of an eye.

Although Su Shi knew that she couldn't be blamed entirely, her career was very important after all, and she couldn't get away from it.

But she still felt guilty and self-blame, because Nagasaki Suyo also understood that she was no longer qualified to be the socially shunned Ms. Nagasaki.

She is now the mother of a little girl.

My feet... they're numb. But standing still isn't an option.

Su Shi closed the door and approached the angel who was taking a nap with her eyes closed. She tried her best not to make any noise but still woke the other person up.

[After all, my mother's shadow has been stained on me.]

I cannot escape this fate. Fate has made me a mother like my mother.

The thought of this made Su Shi unable to move again. She pursed her lips, feeling uneasy about the words that suddenly appeared in her mind.

What did the mother do when faced with her daughter waiting for her at the dining table?

Su Shi stood beside Qiansui, leaning down close to his face. She shook his small body carefully, as if she was touching a fragile and rare treasure.

A unique and rare treasure that belongs to her.

“Mmm…Mmm…”

The child made cute "mmmm" sounds, which made Su Shi feel even more sad.

"Mom? Ugh! Mom is finally back! Are we going to have some ginseng chicken soup? Ah...it seems so late already."

The first half of the sentence was full of joy, and the second half was full of frustration. Qiansui rubbed his red forehead, and it seemed that his consciousness had not fully recovered yet.

She blinked her golden-red eyes, without a trace of blame or unhappiness in them.

"..."

Su Shi didn't know what to say for a moment.

She likes well-behaved children because they won't cause trouble, but sometimes it's better for children not to be too sensible... like now, it's too heartbreaking.

"I'm sorry, Xiao Sui. Mom was too busy today and didn't have time to take you to dinner... Can you forgive Mom just once? Have you eaten dinner yet?"

"I'm not blaming Mom. After all, Mom has her own life. How can Xiao Sui restrict Mom's life? At night? Ahem, I ate! Um...that's it!"

This is a lie.

Su Shi felt a tightness in his chest, and his ability to organize language was at its lowest at this moment.

The daughter forgave herself again.

Even if I yelled at her, ignored her, or broke an appointment with her, she would comfort me in the most gentle way and words.

It's just like that! The kind of perfect person you only meet in dreams.

Su Shi suddenly found that she seemed not worthy of the other party. After all, she could not protect all the gentleness in Qiansui. The promises she made casually during the day now seemed like a joke.

Holding the other person in his arms, Su Shi opened the refrigerator door with one hand to look for ingredients.

Even if I have to stay up late today, I have to make something to eat for Qiansui. The child is still young and needs to grow, so it doesn't matter if I go hungry.

【Why not place the child with a reliable friend? 】

【Shiina Tateki, Takamatsu Touma, Wakaba Mutsu…】

All kinds of strange thoughts began to emerge one after another, and Su Shi felt that maybe... compared to himself, other people could give Qiansui a happier and more fulfilling childhood.

[No... I can't bear to leave... I...]

"Mom! I want to stick to you~"

"Stick it on? How do you want to stick it on, Xiao Sui?"

"Just cheek to cheek! Mommy cheek to cheek!"

Qiansui, who was lifted up, nudged Su Shi's cheek with the side of his face, and finally gave Su Shi a big kiss on the face with his lips.

"Who taught you to be so affectionate? You've made your face all drool."

But Su Shi didn't mind at all, she had discovered it.

This is Chitose's own way of comforting herself...

It was as if Chitose Nagasaki was the mother and Suyo Nagasaki was the daughter who needed to be coaxed.

and many more!

Su Shi suddenly discovered it again.

Similar, very similar.

I used to be like that too.

After a tiring day, she would provide her mother with a lap pillow and massage. At that time, Nagasaki Suyo was more like Ms. Nagasaki's mother...

I thought that the past was over and would never happen again, but I didn't expect that the past was just re-enacted in another way.

Thinking of this, Su Shi suddenly felt a little sad, but with her daughter in her arms, she couldn't have any obvious emotional fluctuations...it would scare Qiansui.

Sushi quickly prepared a simple meal of fried eggs and bacon, and Chitose ate it with great joy.

Chitose was always... happy.

"Come on, Xiao Sui, go to sleep... Tomorrow, Mom will definitely take you to eat ginseng chicken soup."

"Yeah, Mom is the best, love you!"

【My mother is absolutely right.】

In his arms, Chitose really kept turning over and over like a clingy kitten, as if looking for a comfortable position.

"Xiao Sui... I'm so sorry for today... I..."

"Mom is fine, let's go to bed quickly. Xiaosui is also sleepy and can't open his eyes."

"Okay, Mommy will sing a lullaby for Xiao Sui, okay? It's the Tuanzi family. What happened today won't happen again."

A clear and gentle female voice sounded, and Su Shi was trying hard to make up to Qian Sui by doing various things that she thought children would like.

It was a familiar tune, warm and lovely. At the end of the song, Su Shi choked up, fatigue and various emotions mixed together.

"I'm sorry... Xiaosui, I... eh? Did you fall asleep?"

It’s good to fall asleep.

Su Shi was very hot, as if she was sunbathing in a cotton jacket, but her remaining consciousness was rapidly collapsing and was unable to support her in any unnecessary thinking.

Gradually, she sank into the dream.

Chitose waited until their breathing became steady before opening his eyes again in the darkness.

Four clear circles of light surrounded her pupils. In the dark night, Chitose Noshiro whispered to herself.

"My dear daughter, I'm sorry, but I have to keep you busy for a while."

[Rise and fall: The rise and fall of a century is determined by man, not by heaven! ]

My current state is terrible! But it is really great!

"Good night, Sushi-chan."

I could hear Su Shi's tired, soft snoring. The sound was not loud and very cute.

"I hope you don't dream about me tonight, otherwise you will become even more obsessed with me. Doing so will only make you more miserable in the future."

Don't wait until I die and then you lose the desire to live.

Noshiro Chitose closed her eyes and her consciousness began to sink.

I hope that Xiao Jingben, Xiao Deng and Xiao Lixi will appear in my dream tonight. That would be a beautiful dream.

That's the way it is.

Ch154. Thank you so much...Sushi

So hot.

Another hot dream.

This time, he was not only wrapping himself in a cotton-padded jacket and moving through the magma, but was also wrapping himself in the magma and tap dancing on the surface of the sun.

The falling lava is her dancing shoes.

【No...something's wrong!】

The familiar feeling woke Su Shi up from his dream instantly.