I am the emotional sustenance of your deceased

Ch371. Don’t think too much, just despise this world!

"I didn't look carefully yesterday. It turns out... this place has changed a lot."

While observing the basement of his old house, Chitose noticed something strange in the corner.

Gray is everywhere in the basement, along with some modern metal decorations.

The ugly gear decorations were embedded in the handles of the escalator. Chitose noticed that a few of them were missing. Perhaps Lenna had accidentally dropped them.

But what caught Chitose's attention most was the stack of notebooks on the shelf.

She couldn't remember when she had put this thing here.

In other words, this belongs to that little stupid cat.

It took him five seconds to walk to the cabinet, and another second to pick up one of the books. Noshiro Chitose looked at the door on the stairs with a guilty conscience.

After all, it’s not my own book, and fortunately Lenai hasn’t come back yet.

"Lena is my kitten, and this is my home. My kitten belongs to me, so my kitten's things in my home also belong to me."

So I'm looking through my own things. Thinking this way, why should I feel guilty?

Chitose opened the notebook directly and openly.

Compared to using the characteristics once a day, these methods can indeed enter Lenai's heart faster.

[The fourth year after Qiansui left, February 19th, Tuesday, cloudy.]

It turned out to be a diary.

The climbing movement was gentle, and Chitose was watching carefully.

There were only a few hastily scribbled words on each page of the diary, with nothing else to say except the time and the weather.

It's a bit like a prisoner keeping track of the number of days he's spent in jail.

[The fifth year after Qiansui left, March 1st, Friday, cloudy.]

"..."

[Six years after Qiansui's departure, October 1st, Wednesday, cloudy.]

[Seven years after Qiansui's departure, October 5th, Sunday, cloudy.]

The handwriting is becoming more serious and beautiful. Although the improvement is not big, it is visible to the naked eye.

only…

"Who writes only the date in a diary? And why is it rainy every day? Isn't there plenty of sunny days in this country?"

Subconsciously, I picked up another diary and flipped through many pages, but as expected, there were only dates and rainy days written on them.

Oh, there is also a very eye-catching sentence [X years after Qiansui left].

Could it be that what is being said here is that little Lenai’s life is filled with only rain and gloom?

Qiansui finally turned the next page:

"Five years after Chitose left, April 14th, Sunday, cloudy."

But this time it’s different, there is one more sentence.

【Today is the anniversary of Chitose's death. 】

"..."

Simple words conceal heavy emotions, and just one glance can make people feel depressed.

[Six years after Chitose left, April 14th, Sunday, sunny.]

【miss you.】

Year 7, April 14, Friday, heavy rain.

[I hate Chitose. I hate, I hate.]

I hate myself.

"That's heavy. Looks like it really made a lasting impression on Lenai."

Pressing his temples, Chitose closed the notebook helplessly.

Inadvertently, a strand of snow-white hair floated into the gap between the pages of the notebook and served as a bookmark.

"Thank you for your hard work over the years. When I get out, I'll make it up to you... I thought the simulation partner this time would still be one of those few people."

Unexpectedly, the worst case scenario happened. The scope of the simulation was expanding and the number of victims was increasing.

Da da da--

There were footsteps outside the door, very light, but Qiansui could hear them clearly.

"Why are you here?"

Chitose found that Lena had changed her clothes, and the cat in short-sleeved shirt was full of summer atmosphere.

"Commander Lenai, I'm exploring everywhere."

"No exploring around. Didn't you say we were going to SPACE?"

Chitose rubbed Lenai's belly, but had no intention of admiring it.

She just suddenly had a strange idea, which is:

If the simulation continues, the list of victims is bound to grow longer and longer.

At first, Chitose Noshiro didn't realize this problem until she simulated twice with girls she didn't know or had only met once.

This means that new victims may continue to be encountered in the future, and the old victims will be safe and sound, which is good.

But what about the new victims?

It is impossible to simulate slacking off or let go of new victims, because this would be disrespectful to [simulation], [lifespan] and [people you care about].

However, if you simulate seriously, you will be burdened with the lives of more people.

Noshiro Chitose let go of Kaname Rakuna with a complicated look in her eyes. She held her shoulders and spoke after careful consideration:

"Lena, if I were a bad guy, would you still be my good friend?"

"Big bad guy?"

Kaname Rakuna looked at Noshiro Chitose with a scrutinizing gaze, and finally shook her head.

"You're just a wild cat, why are you thinking so much? Let's go find the band members."

I just discussed my idea of ​​forming a band with my grandmother. I thought I'd get a lecture, but just like how my grandmother forgave me for my little tantrum at Chitose's sister's funeral...

This time, grandma also supported me in forming a band.

"Huh? You're asking me to think less, and you look sad yourself. What's that expression? It smells really bad."

Sniffing at Le Na's neck, Chitose raised his head and continued speaking:

"It smells like anxiety. What is Lenai anxious about?"

"A lot. Home, family, and home."

"Things aren't that bad yet. We still have music."

"Can music... help solve everything?" Kaname asked back.

"Maybe!"

Holding hands and walking out, Noshiro Chitose put her worries behind her.

Chitose felt that rather than speaking to Kaname Rakuna, she was trying to convince herself:

"Personal development and personal training are the most important, Lenai."

"You think too much. A kitten shouldn't have so many worries."

"Let's go to SPACE! Let's play guitar! Let's play music!"

"From the moment my fingertips touched the guitar... there we are! We don't need healing, comfort, epiphany, companions, mentors, or blood and tears..."

"Those troubles will pass! Now it's our turn to be ourselves!"

She glanced back at Yao Lenai and saw him frantically putting on his guitar bag.

"I've felt like something's not right with you since yesterday. Why is your music filled with all these random fantasies? Where's the purity?"

"I…"

Lenai was speechless, but that was the way it was. The troubles of adolescence were much more numerous than one could imagine.

She couldn't be as carefree as Chitose Haizuka and be as wildcat as she was.

She was carrying too much and too heavy a burden.

"Hmph, Lenai, didn't you swear to be prepared when you were little? Is that preparedness still there?"

"!!!"

【Are you aware of the oath you made to Chitose-nee?】

"Don't think too much! Join me in despising this world!"

Ch372. Isn't it good to be bound by memories?

Don't think too much and despise the world.

Perhaps Chitose Haizuka was right.

When Kaname Rakuna and Chitose Haizuka stopped in front of the SPACE billboard, Rakuna was lost in her thoughts.

She thought about the guitar and the future, but her eyes finally stopped at Chitose.

She is so high-spirited and so wild.

Lenai must know that this kind of person will definitely succeed, just like Atsushi Noshiro Chitose will succeed.

"What are you doing? Go buy me a matcha parfait."

Chitose patted Kaname's head, forcing the kitten who had been eating and drinking for free to feed her instead.

"Aren't you here to look for your teammates? You're so mobile, sir."

"Finding teammates isn't easy. Maybe I'll have found them after you bring me the matcha parfait."

【Is this true or false?】

Lenai tilted her head.

[You are just a wild cat, why are you so confident? ]

"It's true, go and bring me something delicious."

Le Na turned around and looked back. She was actually worried about Chitose Huizuka.

Leaving this girl alone who might disappear at any time is more or less unsafe. If possible, putting a collar on her or sending her to the basement would actually make Yao Lenai feel more at ease.

Instead of being frightened by her own thoughts, she began to think divergently.

How can I increase the sense of security left behind by Chitose Noshiro's departure?

While she was thinking, she had already brought back two cups of matcha parfait. In fact, Lenai didn't need to pay at all.

Just owe the money, and someone will come to pay for her after the job is done, so she won’t have to worry about anything.

【It's just that I feel bad about it.】

"I'm sorry, Chitose-nee."

Yao Lenai, who had been keeping his head down, muttered:

"Actually, I haven't done anything I promised you... I've lost my way as a musician, and as a person... I haven't been very successful either."

Now he is being led by Huizuka, and this is actually nothing.

Just, I don’t like it.

I really don't like this feeling. I always feel like I'm being held back by something heavy.

I asked Lenai to stop, but she stopped even though she could see Chitose by turning another corner.