I am the emotional sustenance of your deceased

"I…"

It’s so heavy and stressful.

Her back was bent as if crushed by an invisible force, and Lenai couldn't catch her breath.

"Why did it turn out like this... I clearly... didn't want this to happen in the beginning..."

It's been over ten years since I first started playing guitar.

Everything has indeed changed.

Nothing has changed.

Everything became unstoppable, neither the pace nor the performance could be stopped.

"After all, I've always believed that guitar is everything... I've dedicated my whole life to guitar."

The nameless grievance made her tears begin to fall. She was unwilling to accept it, but she could only mutter quietly:

“Perhaps when it comes to performances…and in life, the most important thing isn’t how well you play.”

The most important thing is the [moment of losing].

Even if you give your all in performing and in life, there will be times when everything fails.

Although it is uncomfortable to get stuck in a dead end, it will not make people feel so lost.

Lenai raised her hands and looked at the calluses she had developed over the years.

"If you can't play guitar well, you won't die. If life is not going your way, you won't necessarily die suddenly. Sometimes... that kind of compromise in life is a great talent."

Compromise, bow your head, and be a successful loser!

【I want——Lena! 】

pat-

pat-

Is it a drop of water?

"what?"

I wiped my face in disbelief, only to find that tears began to fall randomly.

"Strange, why do I seem to be crying?"

[Hey! Kaname Lenai! Do you remember the rule in life that can solve all your troubles?]

[Girl, are you really ready to play the guitar?]

【Without music, there is no life.】

"Woo..."

“Wuwuwu… Wuwuwu…”

Countless fragments of past memories that did not belong to the present moment pierced her heart. Lenai bent down and covered her mouth, unable to suppress her emotional collapse any longer.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she could no longer hold on and fell forward.

She fell to her knees, barely supporting herself with her arms, but her tears continued to flow.

"This is reality... wuwuwu... wow..."

Reality came so suddenly that I suddenly remembered that sentence:

If you can't face reality, you can't escape it.

"I see... This is reality... Ugh..."

I will lose miserably, and my guide, partner and even daughter will leave.

this is the truth.

But, more important than reality, even if everyone will die, even if no one will watch over her anymore, even if she can no longer protect anyone, even if the world is destroyed——

"I really still want to keep playing... For everyone... For myself... I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry! Years... Years!"

Is this who I am now, what you want to see?

Is what you want to be... the me now?

There were cherry blossom petals on the muddy ground that had not yet completely decayed, and Lenai's tears dripped on them, polishing them.

"For you... for me... and for all those who have left... do I have to keep playing?"

It doesn't matter even if it's hard work.

Playing for everyone is a daunting thing, and there will be countless misfortunes.

I slammed my fist into the ground, and countless people I've known in life flashed before my eyes.

"But there are also those extremely short moments, so short that they can't be any shorter... that make everyone's blood boil..."

For a moment like that, any personal sacrifice is worth it.

"Years old... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I have to go to the performance... for you... for you all."

I can't take care of you anymore.

Sorry.

To Lenai, live in the present moment once again.

Just for everyone, please keep playing.

……

"She's gone."

Chitose Noshiro lay on the hospital bed, pointing weakly at the sky.

There, an airplane broke through the clouds and flew to the other side of the distant ocean.

"Lena, it's great to have grown up...

He gradually closed his eyes weakly, and Qiansui's consciousness fell into the dying stage.

The time she had allocated to this body was coming to an end.

"I've been watching you since you were six."

"Even though the journey ahead will be more painful and torturous, I have already shaped your three perspectives... You will continue to live and realize your own life value."

Even if you have regrets for the rest of your life, you will keep going. This is who you are now.

And every time you take a step forward, you will feel pain or sadness, and will suddenly wake up in countless nights with endless regret - this is the price I charge.

"I helped you become a complete person, Lenai."

【But please also regret it. 】

At the very end, the world was very quiet.

Noshiro Chitose sighed one last time.

【This time I really have to say goodbye, Kaname. 】

【We'll see you in real life later.】

Ch420. Finally, Lenai shines on the stage

They were all laughing.

They were all in a good mood.

The weather is also very good today. I received a call from home and my grandmother said that my condition has not worsened.

The weather is great today...ah, have you thought about this already?

Ok…

"Hahaha, look at you, you're such an idiot. You lost your pick and there's no place to buy one."

"Isn't there a backup backstage? You're the idiot."

"Where should we go for food after the show? I saw a highly rated Michelin restaurant on the way here. It's a rare opportunity to go abroad, so we must..."

The world is noisy.

But this is their right.

They have the right to be happy and laugh.

Yao Lenai was sitting in the backstage lounge of a performance in a foreign country, wearing the performance clothes arranged by the sponsor.

It is a very soft fabric and it will definitely not look ugly on children.

"Xiao Sui's health condition...is not optimistic anymore. I hope grandma can take care of her for a few more days."

Talking to oneself has become a habit, but in fact, Kaname is not talking to herself.

I just want to say that the person I'm with isn't around anymore.

"Xiao Sui, you will see."

Mom will continue to shine on the stage...just as you wish.

No matter how distracted or reluctant she was, Ya Le Nai was now standing backstage at the performance.

Lenai doesn't like to spread her suffering everywhere, and because of this, no one knows about her experience.

She kept a faint smile on her face, but in fact there was no smile in her heart.

Should I cry now? Never mind. Don't bother everyone.

"Lena-chan, let's go give those tasteless guys outside a little shock of our hometown music!"

The band's lead singer, Abhi, stood in front of her, making plucking motions with his bare hands.

"Okay. Let's cooperate."

Xiaosui... I miss you so much. Are you feeling well now?

The interior wallpaper is painted in bright blue, which is said to be the color of the Mediterranean.

Chitose was so young and had never seen the sea. I don’t know if I’ll have the chance to take her there in the future.

The spring breeze rushed in, blowing warmly on her face, lifting the ends of Lena's hair as if Chitose was playing tricks on her.

But Chitose isn't here.

Yao Chitose is nowhere to be found, Yao Chitose is not even in her heart anymore.

"It's your turn to go on stage."

The white-haired woman with a work ID hanging around her neck knocked on the door and came in. Yao Le Nai always felt that the other person looked very similar to her bandmates in junior high and high school.

What were their names? Nagasaki something and... I forgot.

The rustling sound is the sound of the girls' skirts swaying, and the rustling sound is the sound of Lenai's heartbreaking.

In her hand was a small pick, a gift given to her by Chitose Noshiro more than ten years ago.

At that time, Lenai was not influenced by society and the public. She was still a happy and carefree wild cat.

The staff's encouraging voices kept coming from the side, asking Lenai to walk at the end of the team. Every step she took seemed to be overdrawing her soul power.

"We have worked hard for so many years and have been waiting for this day!"

The teammates turned around and gave each other a final encouragement.

Le Nai was tapped on the shoulder, but she didn't hear who was speaking:

"Let's go together! Don't let everyone down!"

[Everyone's expectation.]

So... am I one of these people?

Everyone... the audience and the company are everyone, my bandmates are everyone, and what about me... am I part of the everyone?

"..."

Everyone was so happy and the world was so bright, but Lenai couldn't smile.